To love or to hate -- archive! - Page 2

CHAPTER 10 – PRECAUTIONS AND CONFRONTATIONS

Sirius and Monica had just returned from their date. He had taken her for a ride on his broomstick over the lake to the top of a hill. After a romantic hour together they realized that they had to get going. They came back to find James looking miserable in the common room and Lily looking dazed and confused. Both of them seemed to be avoiding each other and were sitting at 2 ends of the common room. Sirius and Monica exchanged bewildered looks.

"What do you think happened to them?"

"They obviously are making an effort to avoid each other."

"And it is just as obvious that something happened at Hogsmeade."

"Could they have gotten together and then are putting up a show in front of us?"

"Don't be stupid Sirius, they look worried."

"I know! Snape finally told Lily that he loved her. That makes sense as to why both of them are worried."

"I am not even going to bother to reply to that one."

"I seriously think that…"

"Shut up Sirius! You go to James and I will talk to Lily."

"Monica, sometimes what I say makes sense you know… and actually this time I was not joking."

"Fine, what was it?"

"I thought that maybe he promised her that he would buy her those little things you like to wear on your ears, but then Lestrange bought the last one for his girlfriend…- Why are you walking away? I seriously think…"

Monica gave him an exasperated look and he smiled at her in a lovesick way.

*~*

"Hey James! What happened?"

"Huh? Hi Sirius!" he was lost in his own thoughts. As soon as he and Lily entered the castle, they were stopped by Lucius Malfoy, the captain of the Slytherin team. He had threatened to do something to Lily if James tried any 'funny business' to get away around the bargain. He was really helpless now. He could not let down his team and his entire house. But he could not let anything happen to Lily either. He glanced at where she was sitting. She had not spoken since Hogsmeade and was not replying to Monica. He thought that she looked like an angel on earth and could not bear the thought of anything hurting her. He realized that he needed to talk to her about this and that someone had to take the first step. He walked over to her.

*~*

"Lily, what happened? Is there something wrong? Did something happen at Hogsmeade? Is it the same reason why Potter looks odd too? Why don't you open your mouth and say something? Lily! Do you at least realize that I am here? Come on Lily! What happened? Look, Potter is coming over now…"

"Lily… can I … umm…talk to you for a minute?" Lily looked up at him nervously. She nodded her head and followed him outside the common room. Monica looked as Lily walked away, her mouth literally hanging open. Sirius made a motion to stop them to find out what was going on but stopped at a stern look from Monica. Instead, they both stuck their heads out of the common room portrait to overhear what they were saying.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them.

"Lily, I … umm… what do you think I should do?"

"About what?" this was the first thing she had spoken to him after what had happened.

"About the match…" 2 7th years glared at them as they were blocking the doorway, but could not see why they gave him strange looks. It did not occur to him to turn back and see what was there for if he had he would have seen 2 brunettes' heads sticking out. James sighed and pulled Lily to one corner and continued.

"The Quidditch match against Slytherin…" Lily was very conscious of how close they were standing and refused to meet James' eyes as she was blushing furiously.

"Lily! We have to come up with something…" he said frustrated.

"J…James… I think you should go ahead and play your very best at the game." She said finally meeting his eyes.

"But Lily… what if they … what if they do something to you? I mean, Malfoy knows dark arts and all that…"

"James, listen to me. Hogwarts is a safe place. Nothing will happen to me here. Besides I am not a fool and I can stand up for myself. All you have to do is get out on the field and play your very best and flatten those crooks." she said reassuringly and smiled at him. He flashed his famous lopsided smile at her. She smiled at him even wider as she could not resist it. He suddenly became aware that they were inches away from each other. He looked into her eyes and lost himself in them. Lily realized and looked away, embarrassed. She smiled diminutively at him and started to walk towards the common room. James caught hold of her hand and pulled her back towards him. Lily looked at him half- confused and half-nervous.

"Lily… that is not all that we have to talk about you know." he said meaningfully, his voice sounding more deep and mature. Lily had dreaded this conversation and knew that it would come up soon. But she had not expected it to be this soon.

"James…"

"Lily…" they said at the same time. There was a pause before James spoke up.

"Lily… what do you think… I mean… we can't avoid this… you and me… we…"

"James, I will save you some time and breath. It is never going to happen."

"What?" he sounded so hurt that Lily could not bear to look at him directly.

"You and I … it will never work James."

"Never? But Lily…" Lily shook her head, broke free of his grip and walked towards the portrait of the fat lady. She turned towards him before she gave the password.

"Good luck for the match Potter." So he was back to being Potter again.

"Take care Evans." He replied with as much cheerfulness as he could muster.

*~*

"You said no to James?"

"Monica. What I say to him is my own business. Please don't push it further ok."

"But Lily…"

"Please Monica. I don't want to talk about it."

"But …" Lily glared at her in a final way.

"Fine. What is he gonna do about the match..?"

*~*

"You are going to go ahead with it?"

"Peter, it does not do well for a Gryffindor to buckle under fear. I am going to win this match with a score unmatched in history."

"But what about Lily?"

"She was the one who gave me the strength to go ahead and win."

"Good for you mate!"

"But that does not mean we can take it lightly. I am going to have an eye on Lily at all times."

"But I thought that she said no to you…" asked peter confused.

"That does not mean that I don't care about her anymore!" snapped back James.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 11 – QUIDDITCH MATCH

James had his eye on Lily almost all the time, much to her embarrassment and fury. Monica was with her 24/7 so that nothing happened to her. Sirius and James had their noses into the marauders map. The match was drawing near and the Slytherin Gryffindor rivalry was immensely increasing. The marauders pranks on the Slytherins increased and the Slytherins vowed to get their back by different means. Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn were almost always having a war of wits much to the amusement of the students. This rivalry was unprecedented in the history of Hogwarts.

There was this one time when Snape attempted to sneak something into Lily's drink during dinner when he passed her table but Erica saw him. Another time, Bellatrix cornered Lily when James had gone to the bathroom and would have jinxed her if James had not come in time as Bellatrix had disarmed her.

James was getting jittery as more and more attempted attacks were made on Lily to scare him into losing. He started being with her the whole time much to her anger and frustration. But he was not taking any more chances.

*~*

The day of the match arrived. There was a visual excitement at Hogwarts during breakfast. That morning Sirius [who was the keeper] got an owl from Lucius warning him to let in all the goals if he was concerned about Monica. Sirius had an urge to go over to the Slytherin table and crush Malfoy and would have done it if Monica had not held him back.

"Sirius, remember what Dumbledore said at the beginning of this year. It does not do good to fight over small things when we have bigger things on our hands."

"Monica but..!"

"They know exactly what will make you angry and they just want to disturb you before the match. Don't take it too much to heart."

He looked at her and kissed her passionately much to the amusement of the seniors and the alarm of the juniors. Monica was embarrassed when they broke apart and Sirius grinned around at them.

"All right! Show is over! Get on with your eating…" he said to the great hall at large as all eyes were on him and Monica. He turned to Monica and pulled her away. Lily and James followed, though at a distance.

"Take care Monica… we have to go to the changing room now. Don't go anywhere near those Slytherins."

"I'll be ok sweetheart. You go out there and win this match. Just think of the winning party…" She said winking suggestively and kissing him. James was watching the two of them and turned to Lily.

"Evans…"

"Potter. You have a game to win. I will take care of myself. You get out on the field now."

"Evans… is there any hope… any hope you can give me..?" he asked hurriedly. Lily's eyes clouded over and her foreheads crinkled up.

"Potter. I mean every letter of what I said that day." She said quietly, becoming cold to him. James sighed and left with Sirius.

*~*

The whistle was blown to indicate the start of the match. James eyes searched for Lily in the crowd. When he spotted her with Monica, cheering along with the other Gryffindors he smiled. She caught his eye and smiled. He grinned back at her but he knew that the smile seemed to make it very clear that she wanted nothing more than friendship. It was a smile you give to a friend and not like the special one Monica flashed Sirius when he dipped near her on his broomstick. However, he was slightly comforted.

"Last chance to change your mind Potter…" said Lucius in his ear as he fled past him with the quaffle. James started after him. The game had begun.

3 hours later –

"950, 60 to Gryffindor. There is no sign yet of the snitch."

"Come on Erica!" muttered James under his breath. So far he had scored 85 goals out of 95 and the Slytherins were throwing him murderous looks. He spotted a bludger aimed towards him and ducked. The bludger went flying over his head and sped towards the Gryffindor crowds. James' eyes widened as he realized where it was heading. Alice, who was another chaser in the Gryffindor team, grabbed the beater's bat from Frank before he realized what was happening and hit the bludger away, just before it fell onto them. There were huge sighs of relief as the bludger sped away.

"Alice Longburn has saved the Gryffindors from being hit by the bludger thrown my Matt Crabbe due to her quick thinking… Oh my god! During this diversion Erica Johns, seeker of Gryffindor house has found the snitch. Gryffindor wins by 840 points!" A huge cheer erupted from the crowd below and the Gryffindors were screaming like mad. James and Sirius caught Alice in a midair embrace and she returned the bat to Frank. They all slapped each other on the back with joy and Frank kissed Alice in the air. She blushed as more whoops were heard from below. James went along with his team to collect the Quidditch cup. He was the star of the game. The Slytherins looked bemused and scowled at James and Sirius who grinned back at them cheekily. James' eyes sought out Lily who was out on the field dancing along with the other spectators. He smiled fondly down at her. Sirius flew down with a lot of force, scooped Monica with his hand easily, placed her on his broomstick in front of him and flew out of the field. The crowd was cheering louder than ever.

*~*

The Gryffindor common room was partying and James was showing off by telling them how he scored the goals. There was a crowd gathered around him, mostly girls. They seemed to be taking in every single word he was saying and all had a dreamy look in their eyes.

"… and when Lucius crashed into me on purpose, I took that moment to snatch the quaffle away from him and score a goal…" One girl patted his arm and asked in a honeyed voice if he was all right. He took the cue and started flirting with her, continuing with his descriptions.

Lily was tired of hearing him talk and got up to go to bed. He spotted her walking away and approached her.

"Hey Evans! How was today's game?" he asked her messing up his hair.

"Stop doing that Potter! It is sick!" she snapped at him and went up to bed.

"What is her problem?" he asked after her, sounding upset much to the disappointment and fury of the other girls waiting for him back there.

"Looks like you have a long way to go before she says yes." said Erica from behind him. Little did he know how true she was.

CHAPTER 12 – MOONY, WORMTAIL, PADFOOT AND PRONGS

"Have you hidden the mixture peter?" whispered James under his cloak.

"Yes, it is in the empty 7th year classroom."

"Great." They were all under James' invisibility cloak and the Animagus potion was be ready for consumption. Full moon was tomorrow and they intended to give company to Remus. They entered the classroom and took off the cloak. Peter drew out a bubbling cauldron from under a bench.

"Great! It is the perfect color. All we have to do is stir it twice clockwise and once anti clockwise before taking a cup each." Sirius stirred the potion and poured out 3 cups for each of them.

"To Remus!" they said before they gulped it down. For a moment nothing happened. And then they all crouched onto the ground and transformed. When they came back to their original selves –

"James… you looked so much like a… a… Prongs!"

"Prongs?"

"Ya Prongs. A stag."

"And peter is a rat! Wormtail" he said instantly.

"And me… a dog… umm… Padfoot?"

"What are you talking about mate?"

"Nicknames! The perfect nicknames for us… we will put these names on the marauders map as they sound better."

"Cool mate!"

"And Remus could be Moony… you know as he transforms every full moon…"

*~*

"You all are a what?" shrieked Remus unable to believe his ears.

"Shhh… Remus… we are all animagi. To give you company on full moon."

"Are you people insane? It is too dangerous."

"Moony! Stop being stupid. James and I have worked it all out. All you have to do is tell us where you go when you transform and take us with you."

"Moony?" asked Remus confused.

"Oh right!" said Sirius and explained the whole thing to him.

"I don't know what to do with you guys. I am not taking you with me all right!"

"Why not?"

"Because it is a big process… I will have to go to the hospital wing tomorrow evening and then they will take me to…"

"To where?" asked Sirius eagerly.

"I'm not telling you Sirius!"

"Come on Remus. This is about friendship…"

"This is also about taking too much of a risk and I will not let you do it."

"Remus… you are our best friend and we are the marauders. Remember what we promised in our 2nd year? We promised to stick by each other at times of pain and joy."

"We were kids then."

"And we still remember and mean every word of what we said."

"James and Sirius, I will not have this thing happening."

"Remus… you can't try to keep us out of this how much ever you want to. We would find out a way."

"Sirius…"

"Remus! We are the marauders remember…"

"Why is it that I can never say no to you and James?"

"Are you game?"

"I guess…But James I would feel really guilty if something…"

"Yes! I knew you would come around some time."

"I am glad you guys are my friends."

*~*

With the OWLs drawing closer, tension was mounting among the 5th years. The Slytherins had not had time to take their revenge but had not forgotten about it. In the Slytherin common room –

"Listen guys, we have to get our back at potter and his gang…"

"You are right Narcissa, what with our NEWTs and OWLs we did not have much time to carry out our threats."

"And we have to keep up our word."

"Deffo!"

"And we need a plan…"

"The targets are fixed right?"

"Yup! The mudblood and my dear cousin's girlfriend."

"Yea!"

*~*

"I need a break!" screamed James stretching himself, looking up from his potions book. Several eyes turned to him surprised. He grinned apologetically at the startled first years. One first year approached him nervously with a doubt. He groaned inwardly but patiently explained the theory to him. The first year boy was thrilled to have had James Potter help him out and thanked him. James turned to look at Lily and found her watching him. He smiled at her and went towards her.

"Hey Evans!"

"Hey Potter!"

"Hi James" said Erica. Sirius had crawled over and dragged Monica away from her lessons and Alice and Frank seemed to be having an argument about making of a potion. Remus looked up from his place and waved at the 2 of them. He was a lot happier now that he did not feel left out anymore. But he still refused to reveal who he liked.

"Hey tomorrow is Hogsmeade…" started James looking at Lily. Lily refused to take the hint.

"Well… tomorrow also happens to be Valentines Day!" prompted Erica.

"Lily… will you come with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" asked James looking hopefully at Lily.

"James…" she started with a sigh.

"Lily can't you ever change your mind?" she shook her head sadly. James looked at her for sometime and an idea struck him. He turned to Erica.

"Erica, would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

CHAPTER 13 – THE BEGGINNING …

"Hey James!" said Erica walking towards him.

"Hey Erica! You are looking just great!" said James in a flirtatious tone kissing her forehead.

"You are not so bad yourself." James saw Lily make a face at them out of the corner of her eye. He put his arm around Erica and ruffled his hair with the other hand. Lily saw Remus sitting in the common room, his head bent over something he was studying. She went up to him.

"Come on Remus!"

"Wha – Oh hi Lily!"

"Remus, come with me to Hogsmeade."

"But..." protested Remus, confused.

"We all need a break. And make it fast!" she said pulling Remus out of his place.

"What is the deal Lily?" he asked as she hurried him. She was searching for someone in the crowd.

"Oh! Umm… just like that… Its Valentines Day and no one should be alone."

"Oh!"

"By the way, where did Potter say he was taking Erica?" she asked him trying to sound as if it was a matter of no importance.

"He was going to Three Broomsticks… Erica?"

"Where is this ..?"

"He is going with Erica?"

"Didn't you know?"

"No!"

"He is going on a date with Erica."

"Oh!" Remus looked weird, "so shall we go to three Broomsticks?"

"Definitely!" said Lily, glad he had asked the question rather than her.

*~*

"Erica, are you sure Lily will come?"

"Trust me. I am her best friend and I know that she will."

"How are you so sure?"

"Well, considering the fact that she spent the rest of the evening reading potions." James made a perplexed face.

"Out of her transfiguration book." finished Erica. James nodded in comprehension.

"She could have been tired!" argued James.

"Tired then… I might say. But that does not explain why she spent the entire night whispering through the drapes reasons as to why I should not come with you today or the fact that she was in a huff all the time I was dressing up or the faces she was making throughout the conversation between me and Monica when I was telling her about today's date."

"I wish I was there to hear all that and see her face." said James fondly.

"I don't think she would have wanted you around…"

"Do you have to bring that up?" groaned James.

"Hey, don't turn around now but Lily is coming here." said Erica smiling flirtatiously at James to make it look like they were having fun.

"Where?" asked James turning around. Erica slapped him on the hand and grabbed it when she saw Lily spot them.

"Has she come alone?"

"No… she has come with… REMUS!"

"What?"

"They are coming over… so let us look like we are having a lot of fun."

Lily and Remus chose the table next to James and Erica. James held Erica's hand and stroke it. Lily could see them talking to each other but could not hear what they were saying. Remus was eyeing them and looking back at Lily. He was looking at Lily who did not take her eyes off them.

"Why is he holding her hand?" she asked through her teeth, frowning. She saw Erica reach up and ruffle his hair.

"She can't do that!" she said indignantly.

"Lily… you have been talking about that from the time we entered Hogsmeade. They are on a date and what do you expect them to do?" asked Remus shaking his head at her.

At the neighboring table –

"What is she doing now?" asked James to Erica who had plastered a smile on her face.

"She is still looking here!" she said ruffling his hair.

"I can't go on like this. It has been half an hr and we have talked about everything else and making it look like we are romantic." said James.

"Then we should just pay and leave."

"Thank you!" he said and paid a galleon. He slipped his arm around Erica and left the place. Erica turned around and waved at Lily. Lily stuck a tongue out at her. Erica leaned back on James and they left towards the castle.

*~*

Lily was walking down the lane alone. She had told Remus to go back to the castle as she wanted to be alone. She had found a deserted lane. She could not get the image of James and Erica together. They don't even look good together, she thought angrily. She realized that she might as well finish her studies as the exams were nearing. She tuned back to go back to the castle, but could not stop thinking about the way they both seemed so happy together. She was so engrossed in herself that she banged into Bellatrix and Rudolphus.

"Look who is here! It is the mudblood."

"Shut it Black."

"And you don't have your boyfriend here."

"Leave me alone!" she said trying to go around them. Bellatrix put out a hand to stop her.

"Remember what we told you before the match? And you won in spite of that."

"Empty threats won't scare us Gryffindors."

"Empty huh? Let us see how empty it is…" said Rudolphus pulling out his wand.

"Lestrange… put that down!" she said pulling out her own. He just laughed.

"No boyfriends will come to your rescue now Evans!"

"Oh and did you notice that Potter and Jones make a great pair?" goaded Bellatrix. Lily took in a deep breath to keep herself from replying.

"It is time for revenge." said Rudolphus in an evil tone.

*~*

In the common room, Erica and James were sitting pretty close on the couch waiting for Lily to come back.

Instead Remus came back alone.

"Hey Remus, where is Lily?"

"Lily wanted to take a walk and she asked me to come back here." said Remus eying the 2 of them.

"What? You left her alone?" asked James standing up.

"She wanted to be alone… she was upset about something."

"It is no big deal is it?" asked Erica.

"I guess…" said James falling back on the couch. It was almost evening and Lily had not returned. Sirius and Monica came back from their date looking happy and blushing every time they looked at each other.

"Hey where is Lily?" asked Monica looking around.

"Hey, she has not come back yet!" realized James.

"What is wrong?" asked Sirius.

"I don't know where Lily is! I am so sorry…" said Remus.

"What do you mean by sorry? I am going in search of her!" said James and went up to get his invisibility cloak and the marauders map.

"I will come with you James." said Sirius.

*~*

Lily was supporting herself against a tree. It had taken all her effort to stand up. Her head felt heavy. She had had to bear a crutatis curse for half an hour and she did not want to think of it. On top of that, she had had a freezing charm all the time and it was no pain like she had imagined. She wished someone would come to get her. She wished that she had not walked away alone. And they had even told her that there was more in store for her. James and Sirius threw off the cloak and James ran up to her followed by Sirius.

"Lily, Lily… are you all right?" asked James. She was so relieved to see someone that she lost all her strength and slumped back down on the ground. He saw that a silencing charm had been put on her. He removed it and also the freezing charm which she had overcome to a certain extent. She was not able to talk and mouthed something hoarsely.

"Don't try to talk Lily… I will take you to the hospital wing. Can you walk?" Lily shook her head weakly.

"Here you go… put one arm around my neck and the other one around Sirius; we will balance you between us."

She nodded feebly and did as she was told. She looked pale and sick. James was alarmed at how white she looked and how weak she was. She found it hard to walk between two people and put both her arms around James. He felt an electric current shoot through him as she did it. Nevertheless, Sirius helped him carry her up to the hospital wing.

*~*

"James, Sirius! You are back! What happened? Is Lily ok? Say something! We are dying out here!" Peter, Erica, Monica, Remus and Alice had stayed up and waited for them."

"I am not sure… she is unable to talk and I took her to the hospital wing and then Madame Promfrey chased us out of there."

"We will just have to wait and see. Monica, I don't think it is anything serious sweetheart. There is nothing Madame Promfrey can't do to heal someone." he said comforting her.

"James, where did you find her?" asked Erica putting an arm around his shoulders.

"She was in the forbidden forest."

"What was she doing there?"

"I don't know Erica. God am I so tired! I took us an hour to come back here."

"Oh sweetie you should take some rest."

"But I can't do that Erica… not without knowing whether Lily is ok or not…" Erica looked slightly disappointed. Remus looked sharply between the 2 of them.

"She is right James… you have to go to bed... James…James?" James had already fallen asleep.

*~*

The moment the breakfast bell rang, all of them left to visit Lily. She was asleep.

"She is still shaken. By the look of it she was hexed pretty badly. She needs a lot of rest so don't disturb her." said Madame Promfrey to the rest of them. They all nodded.

James looked at her sleeping. Her rich red hair was covering the white pillow. Her face was still ghostly white and her forehead was crinkled with worry. James pushed her hair away from her forehead. His touch woke her up.

"Sorry Lily… I didn't mean to wake you up!" he whispered to her.

"It is ok." She said in a weak, hoarse voice.

"Shhh… don't try to talk…" she gestured something back.

"Lily… don't worry about anything…"

"OWLs" she managed to say.

"Lily… the OWLs are next month… you will have time." said Remus. Lily closed her eyes in frustration. James wished he could kiss her then and make her feel better. He wished she would accept him. It hurt him to be standing next to her and to see her hurting and not being able to do anything about it. He sighed hard. He squeezed her hand and left the wing quietly.

"I think I'll go with him." said Erica gesturing towards James. She thought she saw Lily frown. But the next moment she was smiling at them so sweetly that Erica thought that she had imagined it. Remus and Lily looked after them.

"Do you think we should leave them alone?" squeaked Peter.

"I think we should Peter!" replied Sirius. He did not notice Remus glaring after Erica or Lily narrowing her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~