If you're on Twitter, you may know that Lord Voldemort has an account. He's amassed a following 570,000 strong and is known for his sarcastic, witty, and sometimes cruel remarks.
We requested an interview with the Lord and he graciously agreed. These questions were submitted by those of you who follow us on Twitter. Enjoy!
gLam_sussanex: Why do you hate Bieber that much? I don't like him either, but I'm curious...
I hate everyone. I thought this was pretty clear by now, what with that whole "most evil wizard of all time" thing that I have going on. There's also the possibility, as I've alluded to, that Bieber is actually one of my horcruxes. I mean, how else do you think he got famous? If that is the case, not saying it is or that it isn't, then there's probably some underlying psychological meaning about how I secretly hate myself. I don't really buy that though because I'm awesome. Another theory is that Bieber is the resurrected form of Colin Creevy. I mean, Diggory came back as a vampire... think about it. And let's be honest, nobody liked Colin Creevy. I think the real reason I hate Bieber is that he's a hypocrite. Never say Never? You just said never... twice. "I'm gonna tell you one time," LIES. Nobody lies to Lord Voldemort via a somewhat catchy bassline & gets away with it!
Tina_Patz2397: What do you look for in a woman?
I don't look for things in women. To do that I'd have to rip them open. That sounds messy. I prefer my killings to be of the patented 'Avada Kedavra' variety: Clean and clear and under control. Yes, Clean & Clear did steal that from me & yes I made them pay. Let's just say their acne product results will now make Eloise Midgen look like a cover model.
Mandapupsi: Why does your sarcasm have to be related with pop culture (Bieber, vampires) or even grammar?
My sarcasm doesn't HAVE to be related to anything because I don't HAVE to do anything. I often comment on the trending topics because I feel like it. Why? Why the $@#$ not?
Fionsc: Why are you still alive and Twittering instead of continuing to kill Harry Potter, and why aren't your tweets more about the Harry Potter world?
First of all, 'twittering' isn't a word. The correct term is 'tweeting.' I'm already not taking you seriously because of that. I'm also confused at how you seem to think you know what I'm doing. Maybe I am stalking Harry Potter as you read this. Maybe I'm stalking you. Maybe I'm sitting right behind you as you read this, inching closer & closer, preparing myself to strike. Not so cocky anymore, are you, "Fionsc?" As far as what I tweet about, I do what I want. Don't like it? I don't give a damn. It's one of the perks of that whole "evil" thing.
Cursivenight: What exactly do you do all day besides tweeting?
I like to curl up around a good spell-book and a glass of unicorn blood. Hide only one set of valuable objects so that people can't find them. Train DMV workers. Create traffic jams. In short, I make your life miserable. Cheers! When I'm not doing that I enjoy spending my time soul-searching...
LillyInHell: Will you marry me?
No.
BertieBotts: How did it feel to be beaten by a 1 year old?
I don't feel.
BertieBotts: Can you recommend any places for a nose job as good as yours?
Nobody will ever be as good as me.
EcdwHgAa: Were you always this funny? (even before your days on Twitter).
I mastered dark humor before I mastered Dark Arts.
SunnyWinterss: Do you hate MuggleNet for being "Muggle"Net?
Wait... I was under the impression the point of this site was to capture muggles in nets. Is that not the point? WHAT THE HELL???
We thank Lord Voldemort for taking the time to speak with us. Be sure to follow him on Twitter!
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