It was still at least an hour before she came.
She used to come late. Now she comes earlier.
Even though I was pleased that I have a few more minutes to look at her.....when ever she comes to running to classes no one notice that i smile or sometimes even about to laugh......
At least they didn't see that.
I would look at her reflection from the window. She greeted her friends and talked with them, if they decided to talk in her seat, I wouldn't be able to look at her.
"I know he likes me!" This one girl said a little too loud, I closed my eyes. I always hated it when girls thought they were the one I liked.
Nobody is even close, that rumor started all because of that stupid Chulbul. Even though it's not really a rumor.
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Flashback Beginning of the year:
"Do you like being a loner?" Chulbul asked....ugh why can't he go way.....I turned away from him, we were both near the wall. He leaned against the tree while I leaned on the other side.
"I can't see myself all alone, I would hate that." I tried to ignore him, his annoying voice kept breaking in.
"If you have no one to see, why come here?" He asked, I was going to tell him off until someone called out.
"Chulbul!" The girl with shoulder length hair, I think her name was Manjari. Remembering girl's names is a pain, and completely useless. There was only one that I memorized.
"Yes,Manjari?" He asked, who walked over towards her. I was about to leave when she came My Angel. Her long black hair lifted gently with the wind, the sunlight highlighted her mesmerizing black eyes and graceful figure. One of the few reasons she was liked by the entire male student.....
She was different than the other girls, she wasn't selfish. Her voice was gentle as the rest of her. A lingering aura of innocence around her....
She is one of the few that I admit is beautiful....
I heard her laugh, even her laugh was soothing, the regular girls laughed loud and squealed, it was a horrible sound.
"Bye Honey" Chulbul walked back to the tree sitting down, he turned to me but noticed I was keeping my eyes on something else. He looked in my direction, I was so mesmerized that I didn't even try to hide what I was doing.
"I see." He muttered, I glanced over at him.
"What?" He smiled, why did that smile bother me?
"You like her." He stated, I turned away from him. "You can't hide it, your eyes were practically glued to her." I got up about to walk away.
"Is that why?" He asked, I didn't look at him. "If my information is correct, the only class you have her in is the one you only come to."
"Yeah, and?" He smiled.
"Oh, nothing." I felt like punching that stupid smirk off his face. If I did, she would notice. She noticed on the first day when I came in, when I was trying to look for her when those guys surrounded me. I gave them a warning, they didn't take it, that's when I fought them. When I was done, I tried to go somewhere else when I felt her stare. I looked up and saw her staring straight at me, I was embarrassed.
She saw me do that, what does she think of me now?
Those thoughts haunted me from time to time, how did on the first day I cared about what she thought?
I started seeing her more around, except she was talking to her friends. Whenever she was close to walking towards me, some girl would talk to me. I wanted to push them away, although I grew up.... one rule that i will always obey was to never disrespect a woman.....
I wish I did punched that Chulbul, the next day the rumor started. For a week, that Chulbul stayed behind his girlfriend using her as a bodyguard. The other girls were happy, becoming more snobby if possible, I know even Arpitha heard it. It didn't affect her, for some reason I wanted it to...
:End of flashback
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The teacher came in, the students walked around. She was walking to her seat. I was glad that she managed to sit in front of me for the last year and this year. I wasn't able to look at her face, but I felt like laughing when she struggled, especially during her tests. Why couldn't she be in every class?
Am I that obsessed?
I was never like this, with anyone. I never felt anything before, when I first came here. I only expected to sit there and wait till I get home, I didn't expect that I would meet her.
That couldn't be love at first sight...That doesn't exist.
There's only thing I know exists, love.
Something I never believed in before.
She was about to sit down, this was the only time when I could look at her directly. The difference today was that she looked at me back.
"Are you planning on sitting down anytime soon, Arpitha?" The teacher said, she looked away.
"Sorry." She said, sitting down quickly.
I haven't looked into her eyes since the first day, those beautiful emerald eyes.
People outside will never know this side of me, I hope they never do.
I still don't know how she did this to me. I don't know much about her, I heard somethings...
That one time the class was assigned to go the Farm Trip, she mentioned to her friends on what fruit they all liked. I remembered hearing her say she loved Mango, it suits her. I looked over at her, how can anybody be that beautiful? Her blue salwar was clung to her body. She wasn't as built as the other girls, I didn't care.
I didn't look at the other girls, I only looked at her.
Soon the math class was over, it sometimes seem to pass right through. I walked out of the room, down the hallway. I can't stay in this place, I had a reason last year to stay. I even actually looked forward to coming to school, this year only left me disappointed. I tried to find her in every class, she was only in one, the first one I had. I started thinking during those classes, she wasn't here. What was the point really, and it's worst knowing that Ran Vijay guy being in all of her classes.
I convinced the principal to let me do that, telling him I would stay for the exams. I didn't regret it when I found out the students take their exams with their first class. You stay with them for the whole day, I only stayed in the seat. I watched her talk, and play the weird games after the exams were over.
People started talking about why I didn't go to class, I wanted to tell them to mind their own business.
One look at her I'd forget all thought.
Somedays I would get those urges, to hold her, to talk to her.
To kiss her.
It is something I have thought about.
It can never happen, I'm not for her.
She can never love me.
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