Posted:
Yeh, I stole that title right off John Meyer, eh!
But it just fits. The song started playing on my IPod while gymming in the morning (yeh I know, not exactly a gym song) and I could only think about GK!
Another brilliant episode, and here goes my nothing for today.
We always knew bringing back Gulaal to the house would have to be step 1 to things looking upscale again. Why? We didn't think if Kesar's repeated ILUs were violating her so much, his perpetual presence would actually improve his impression? We were banking on Kesar somehow working the miracle. But how?! When he sat begging to God today - the question was at its prime. How was he supposed to pummel it into this woman, that he cared too much for her, too much to not go through any ordeal she set up for him. As long as she would begin to show even hints of cracks - cracks, beneath which he could dig out and rediscover his Gulaal.
He asked Talli the same thing. What had he done that was so wrong - hadn't they all seen? He'd tried to stop her. He'd begged and pleaded and gone down on his knees and left no desperate and/or logical stone unturned to keep her, and later to bring her back. But was forcing her the way? He couldn't force her into what he thought was her happiness. But it was, it is! When Kesar said that this house was all that her happiness revolved around, he wasn't wrong. Gulaal could harp all her life about having left her soul behind, about being only physically present - but truth is, when JK told her today, that she had no rishta with the house other than the one she was putting down, she was rudely shocked. She has after all given her life to this house - does that count for nothing? And that is exactly what Kesar wants her to see and accept. He doesn't want her to turn her back o her sole purpose striving to live,because of him. He does want, desperately want that she should include him into her purpose to live - but that's only because he's been misled into believing (by her) that he's not in that list anymore (explaining his instance of doubt when Sudha hit bulls eye telling him Gulaal dind't care!) - even though he continues to top it. He has been and is, the center of her world - circumstantially, or by choice (marzi ya majboori, as she told JK)
Fact is, Kesar is growing every day, with respect to owning the truth, and so each day, his understanding of the reality grows one step. Today for the first time he referred to the impenetrable 'Vasanth Bha' boundary she had captured herself inside. And it was a massive revelation. Interestingly, all these advancing revelations are coming to him, and not (as is much much needed) to dear lovely Gulaal, because she's not facing the truth!
Anyway - I'm digressing from where I begun. How was Kesar going to fix all this misunderstanding between Gulaal and him, after she came back? We should have known he would always have one thin from Gulaal to bank on. Her genuine concern. She's too much a saint to not care. Forget that she has feelings for him - any damn kind - just that he's a human, not to mention a member of the family, her husband now, and most importantly her Kesar, she would never live long enough putting him into spots. In some way, when she told him to not interfere between Sudha and her, she was doing for him, exactly what he was for her. Standing up as a shield in between. She was willing to take Sudha down, or most like take whatever she was dishing out for now, without Kesar haing to bear the brunt. No, she wasn't softening for him, much less forgiving that make believe monster she had made of him inside her head - and her scores to settle with Kesar made her take on that bitter tone, and cutting way she told him to 'not interfere'. But really, she hit two birds with a shot. She put him out of Sudha's way (Who looks like she is this far from murdering one, or both of them these days); and she kept up the self consoling facade of her cold war with Kesar.
That's how she is. But that's also how he is. Let's not forget the other side of this coin - the time when Kesar had come back. He could be lashing at her, hurting her, every chance he got, and even more if he could. But could he deal with anyone else dishing crap at Gulaal - eh, no. He was playing this game not so long ago - standing between harm's way and Gulaal; and maintaining his cold war with her. She's taken her turn now. š„± (Sigh these two. One of them has to be losing it, this way or that. In simple English, we call it made in heaven. š )
IMO, what we're going to see in days to come, is just going to be a mirror image of the original Kesar return picture. We should bank on Kesar to penetrate through to Gulaal - because didn't she? Even when he was kicking her away as far as he could? But we should also not put it past Gulaal to lose to the person she is, and what she has with Kesar. Remember the war Kesar had charged against her, in the name of marrying Talli - and one sign of defeat from her, one simple main haar gayi had changed the dynamics. Yes, Gulaal says (and probably is far from realizing any better) that she doesn't love him. But Kesar wasn't exactly in fighting his love consciously mode at that point. The whole love realization dawned upon him later. At that point, he was as plainly attached and bothered by Gulaal's misery; as she will be by his, now. Bottom line: They can each take turns at trying all they want - but they are not the kind of people who know how to turn backs.
Which is why, to me, the precap seems utterly promising. A new step forward.
Oh and yes - mincing my words temporarily, and having them for an early dinner, Talli does genuinely look like she wants these two to find peace, as of now. There was a sign of her immense hurt when Kesar repeated his love confession, but no, she's not hoping. She's just hurting. But Gulaal has rubbed off on her, and she does seem dedicated to helping these two sort out. (Pat on her back - š² didn't think I'd come to this occasion - but she actually asked Gulaal, why she couldn't go to give Kesar the food! Go Talli! *mumbles grumbles* yes yes, Go Sudha too - not before I can take a punch at her though š”)
Okay, done done! Today wasn't an 0rganized post - just random rambl - but I was actually trying to keep away from posting because I have sooo much work! Sigh, my addiction! Some one needs to ban me on this forum!
Anyway - before I go, here's a section of the lyrics from the song that inspires the title today, which fit GK like a glove - atm!
It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
You're the only light I ever saw.
I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.
We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.
We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.
xx
Jzee
