So in today's episode, we saw a chat between Sai and pakhi on self-respect..
so what is self-respect-- it means having confidence in oneself and behaving with grace, honor and dignity..
There is also the factor of self-esteem- which is knowing you can conduct yourself confidently in every situation. in fact self-respect and self-esteem go hand in hand.
But the problem with just self-esteem is that you tend to get lost into the framework of situations causing stress, blame, guilt, and regret.
and then comes the play of ego. Too much ego is hazardous for any human being, an inflated ego leads us to nowhere.
Self-respect is respecting oneself and ego is knowing the importance of oneself. This difference can actually be confused by many. What we might consider self-respect might just be our ego and vice versa..
So let's see where these come into play between pakhi and sai-
Sai
she has self-respect.
Yes, she falters in many situations thrown at her but at the end of the day, we cannot brush off her capability to take care of herself.
A person with self-respect will not do a lot of things out of just good morals but will also take into consideration the respect they have for others.
This has been shown time and again by Sai. Even after the way she is treated by the family, she prays for them, she wants to take their blessing regardless of them returning it and she wants to include them.
Some other traits are:-
they don't let others get comfortable in disrespecting them
they don't seek validation and attention
they don't let others bully them into silence.. never play the victim
they don't waste energy in changing opinions.. they are themselves no matter what the situation
they are faithful to themselves.. embrace their talents, values and beliefs
they believe in acceptance
these traits have been portrayed by sai many times.. She is empathetic towards others. She feels for Pakhi even though she knows there is only hatred from the other.
Today she said that our self-respect is in our own hands. It is true we are the authors of our own story. We can make or break who we are as humans. So to stand for oneself is never wrong.
Yes there are times when we make mistakes in the gist of the situation but when we accept it for our peace we win the battle.
Pakhi-
She lacks self respect but has an extremely high ego fed on by kaku.. though she has self esteem because there are moments where you see her capabilites which she is aware of.
One of the hallmarks of a person with a low self-esteem is their lack of responsibility.
Everything that occurs in their lives is the result of some puppet-master, pulling the strings and controlling their fate or destiny.
Whether it is their parents, their friends, their community, or even God.
Not only do they believe that, but they will also let you and the greater world know about it!
a high ego is characterised by-
pretending to be wiser, mature, intelligent
condescending and patronising
feign humility to balance out their persona
In an effort to promote their percieved awesomness they may hide their self-centeredness with charitable and selfless actions.
have a superiority complex
want to have cotrol on everything
Will show their true colors when challenged by another (who is actually better than them) Cue juvenile behaviour, tantrums or blaming other factors.
if they feel their ego is in threat they will do everything in their power to "beat you" (figuratively)
most importatly- they project their own attributes onto the other.
Pakhi is constantly putting Sai down. As I had mentioned once before, If pakhi were to actually make an effort be friends with Sai and break her wall, virat would have probably still remeber his promise because sai would mentain her distance..
In the process of feeding her ego, she is losing herself. Running behind her brother inlaw, showing how amazing she compared to the other two bahus and even ashwini aai. making sure her importance is seen by the important members of the family by constantly buttering them..
This was actually not the case, it started when Sai entered the house, when her position in virats life was challenged by his wife. deep down she knows there is nothing to hate about Sai and that bothers her.
When she sees virat taking a stand for Sai or even their simple ways of understanding each other, looking in each others eyes, the head nods, it bothers her because that was supposed to be her place.
The funny thing is even if Pakhi were to marry virat it won't have lasted because pakhi is like that only. Everything in the beginig was just a facade. What you are in you darkest times is actually your reality the rest a facade..
So when Sai tells her that by barging into our room you are losing your self respect is true. There is nothing wrong in what was happening in the room. Virat has made it clear to her that he has no feelings in his heart for her but yes she is a good friend. The issue is that Pakhi is not ready to move on. She will use everything and anything in her way as a prop to get back at Sai for "snatching" virat whereas the truth is she has an option to deny for the marriage, to come clean and to move on. If virat really loved her, he would have fought with his entire family to be with her.
Her sense of love and ideal of love is warped maybe also because she got everything on a silver platter provided by her parents.
She would probably change virat if they were married. her sense of an idelaistic love is completely distorted.
On the other hand, Virat grew up in a joint family, learning to share, watching his parents pathetic relationship and learning to adjust to situation and circumstance.
Sai grew up with a single parent who was her mother and father but never faultered in giving her the right values as a human being, he taught her what self respect was. Abba never baby sat sai, he had a job a tough one.. He would not always be at home, like virat probably working late nights but usha mausi helped him and Sai grew up seeing how her abba treated usha mausi as his own sister. So now when she thinks about any step, her thought also includes Usha mausi and taking care of her.
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I hope this did not feel like a rant...
I wanted to pen my opinions on the two here..
mujhe sirf ek he dialogue/gaana yaad aata hai
"Koi pyar kare toh tumse kare, tum jaise ho waise kare ... koi tumko badal ke pyar kare, toh woh pyar nahi woh sauda kare ... aur saheba, pyar mein sauda nahi hota ... right?"
Ghe ghe ghe ghe ghe ghe re saahiba pyaar mein sauda nahi hai, pyaar mein sauda nahi hai..
I hope you all have a lovely day!!
Sorry if this felt like a rant or opinionated..
