Abuser's guide to success - by StarPlus - Page 2

I agree that people are pissed off with Virat's behavior in the past episodes. But to make him into a villain is a bit too much. Yes he did make a grave mistake. And yes, the apology may not be enough. But he is not some serial abuser or anything that people are making him out to be. His behavior was unacceptable. But his apology did seem genuine. Virat is an example of what all people do in anger. Don't we all do stupid things in anger. Doesn't mean that we don't deserve a chance of redemption. I agree that there are many men who think women are below them and that hey own their wives. Virat just doesn't come across as such a person. Sai did point out all the things he did wrong. And Virat did look really ashamed of what he has done. Also his apology and repentance seemed really genuine. Now what happens in future is another thing. If he does kick her out after all this then Virat is in for a real bashing. Till then I, for one, will give him benefit of doubt.

Originally posted by: janecastle

I agree that people are pissed off with Virat's behavior in the past episodes. But to make him into a villain is a bit too much. Yes he did make a grave mistake. And yes, the apology may not be enough. But he is not some serial abuser or anything that people are making him out to be. His behavior was unacceptable. But his apology did seem genuine. Virat is an example of what all people do in anger. Don't we all do stupid things in anger. Doesn't mean that we don't deserve a chance of redemption. I agree that there are many men who think women are below them and that hey own their wives. Virat just doesn't come across as such a person. Sai did point out all the things he did wrong. And Virat did look really ashamed of what he has done. Also his apology and repentance seemed really genuine. Now what happens in future is another thing. If he does kick her out after all this then Virat is in for a real bashing. Till then I, for one, will give him benefit of doubt.

The point of the post is that abuse is a very very sensitive issue. It has to be shown in a very sensitive manner - if not shown properly, it can easily come off as normalizing abuse. Virat's apology did not seem very convincing to me - although it was genuine, I don't think he understands the damage he has done to Sai.

Originally posted by: jane_austen

1. Man abuses wife/gf ; the harder she resists cowing down, harder should be the punishment

2. The wife/gf ....sorry 'thing' threatens to leave (obligatory)

3. Man apologizes with tears and folded hands

4. Man gives reasons for abuse - care, fikr, feeling bad etc.

5. Guilt trips the thing that maybe she started it

6. Tell the thing that he loves it/it means a lot to him (This is the most potent weapon)

7. Ask "Doesn't he deserve forgiveness?"

8. Promises profusely that it will never happen again

9. Thing melts like a butter

10. Buy the thing some candy floss

Spoiler alert : It will happen again

Episode left a bad feeling in the mouth. Virat's 'remorse' was shallow. My hope was that Sai will give such a fight back that Virat will not get it easy. And boundaries of basic human respect will be established. But Sai turned out to be a puddle of mush.

I agree to your points and this seems to be the itv serials formula from KSBKBT days!

Coming to our serial IMO Virat’s apology was ok but incomplete. My problem was him not addressing the third wheel Pakhi and about the money he took back from her.

The apology was all about him and how he felt and what triggered his anger. Sai forgiving him was expected as from the other versions. Though I would have preferred that she walked out.

Also I was expecting Sai to apologise as well since she is very straightforward and to the point. The convo she had with her Aaba photo could have repeated with Virat as well. She could have told I got angry because of these triggers. Just like you I have the right to get angry as well. And they could have hashed it out.

Well that’s too much of expectations from itv drama.

Reel or real couples do cross the line and apologise, repent and redeem themselves in their relationship. But in Reel itv dramas the mistakes get repeated by ML and the FL melts and forgives every time.

For all of us the problem arises when these abuses emotional/physical gets romanticised.

Originally posted by: jane_austen

The point of the post is that abuse is a very very sensitive issue. It has to be shown in a very sensitive manner - if not shown properly, it can easily come off as normalizing abuse. Virat's apology did not seem very convincing to me - although it was genuine, I don't think he understands the damage he has done to Sai.

@bold- I don't really expect him to understand it fully. No one can really understand the pain completely unless they stand in the place of the victim. But Virat did try to understand it to his capability. So I would let it pass for the time being.

And normalizing abuse is very common in ITV. Considering other shows, this show is doing much better. Yes there are some problematic elements, like the Chavans and their behavior. But it is still better than we get in other shows.

Originally posted by: jane_austen

The point of the post is that abuse is a very very sensitive issue. It has to be shown in a very sensitive manner

This is so true. But unfortunately that is not really going to happen in ITV. So we will have to make do with what we get.

1. Man abuses wife/gf ; the harder she resists cowing down, harder should be the punishment

2. The wife/gf ....sorry 'thing' threatens to leave (obligatory)

3. Man apologizes with tears and folded hands

4. Man gives reasons for abuse - care, fikr, feeling bad etc.

5. Guilt trips the thing that maybe she started it

6. Tell the thing that he loves it/it means a lot to him (This is the most potent weapon)

7. Ask "Doesn't he deserve forgiveness?"

8. Promises profusely that it will never happen again

9. Thing melts like a butter

10. Buy the thing some candy floss

Spoiler alert : It will happen again

this is what actually is the cycle of abuse which takes place in many of the household of our country and worldwide.

But the most unfortunate thing is the fact that if someone tries to speak against it, they are shut with the fact that ‘it is normal’.

I have heard quite a number of parents tell their daughters ‘a daughter should be like a earth, who absorbs every thing but gives back only love and care’

And this is punctuated by ITV in almost every of its shows and thus has somewhere become the ‘illusion of truth’

Episode left a bad feeling in the mouth. Virat's 'remorse' was shallow. My hope was that Sai will give such a fight back that Virat will not get it easy. And boundaries of basic human respect will be established. But Sai turned out to be a puddle of mush.

That’s maybe because she has till been in the cocoon of her father and has only known love, care and respect.

All she wants is a little bit of love and respect, so for her Virat shedding tears and asking for apology was enough to melt her and forgive him.

She might not forget his behavior towards her though but she is kind enough to forgive.

Bhavani abuses everyone except pakhi and Samrat

Ninad abuses dev, bua, mohit, Ai, virat and Sai

Omkar abuses mohit, karishma, Ai, bua, virat and Sai

Karishma abuses mohit, pakhi, Sai (when she gets an opportunity)

Sonali abuses moushi, Ai, virat, karishma, bua and Sai

Pakhi abuses Sai and virat

Dev abuses Bhavani

Ai abuses Pakhi

Virat abuses Sai

Bua, Mohit, Samrat and Maushi are exceptionally good people

Not sure who Sai abuses because most of the time she defends herself

The entire family is messed up 🤦‍♀️