Keshni 🤗❤️❤️ You ignited my brain that the windy morning froze today. I thoroughly enjoyed my front row seat. Now for you:
"Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power."—John Steinbeck
What a powerful one that is! And ABSOLUTELY true. Just last night, I remember replying to someone on a thread who said Bhavani has "respect" and I said, what we call 'respect' is actually fear. This is exactly how indoctrination (Wow, i didn't know we'd go THIS deep and even see indoctrination in an almost illogical TV series) of ideologies work at all levels -- kitchen, families, societies, nations, world. Fear is a strong tool for motivation and to get people to act the way one wants -- especially those who are afraid of being financially destitute or enjoy the elevation of their 'image' by being on the side of the motivator. This fear comes down in ripple effect -- from the leader to the followers, who can also sense the undercurrents. While the leader will summon all his/her energies to ensure that the power is not challenged or diluted, the followers are left biting nails in the fear of losing the game. They will first back up the leader to overcome the challenge and later, fence-sit -- unable to decide which way to turn -- because they cannot predict which way the scale of the power will tilt. But for this kind of a disloyal lot of followers, it is of prime importance to make sure they are "always siding with the power" for their benefits, regardless of who holds the power.
From what I understand, Bhavani’s ascent to power took place during her husband’s absence. It looks like Mr. Nagesh Chavan was the patriarch of the house that everyone venerated and while he was away for his army duties police duties (thank you @Chahat for the correction - I am sorry I do not know your namesmiley36), I would assume that he delegated his powers to Bhavani (Ye kis type ki nepotism hain, bhai!smiley36). While the timeline is not very clear, I assume that Bhavani has held onto power ever since she got married and her her husband was away. Anyway, Bhavani became the de-facto patriarch of that house in her husband’s absence, and when her husband passed away, the hold on power was too sweet and too addictive to let go.
I completely agree about nepotism here. Also, it could be the age factor and the fact that there was no "senior generation" member in the family. We have not been told what was the relationship Nagesh Chavan shared with the other siblings. Was he like a father to them because their parents died early on, and he was oldest and also with a huge generation gap? That would explain why the matriarch is literally acting as the mother-in-law of her co-sisters. It is common in families where the brother and bhabhi have been venerated as mother and father by younger siblings, who were, so to say, raised by the eldest couple. Not sure about Mansi and Ninad, but Omkar and Shivani definitely seem like they were teenagers when Bhavani may have entered their life. Usually, the power of enforcing the patriarchy in a household actually vests with the woman of the house. It is a fact that the men of the house do not meddle in the kitchen affairs and the running of the house, until they have to make "life-and-death" or "pride-and-shame" kind of decisions. So, in every household, the enforcer of the rigid family traditions is a woman. In this case, by default, it is Bhavani.
Have you guys ever heard of sympathy votes? Imagine a leader that you venerated with your whole heart. He passed away, your locality is in chaos, and you need someone to tie everyone together (“Jo sab ko bandh ke rakhti hain”- Virat on the reception day), you need to find someone who’ll replace them immediately and you’ll very often find yourself looking at some kin close to that leader (This is changing with time, obviously). And in comes Bhavani with the whole splendour, she is the better half of that leader, the one who ties everything together, so who else, if not her. Now that it has been mutually agreed that Bhavani will be the leader of that clan, how does she go about maintaining that control?
I would like to believe that Bhavani would have had the reigns of the house even during the lifetime of Nagesh Chavan. But, of course, he would have been the final authority and she the 'enforcer' of his decisions. After his departure, she became the lawmaker and also the keeper of the laws that he already made -- it could be because of sympathy or also because aside from Ninad, the rest of them were 'ineligible' due to age and status. Also, Ninad, we know is an escapist. So, he would have happily passed on the responsibility due to cold feet or out of the 'fear' that Nagesh-Bhavani combine may have already created. So, now, the enforcer is also the one who makes the law -- double power and double fear. And so, the expectation that no one must question either the rationale or the implementation of it. I believe Sonali must have come in a lot later, she is pretty young. And Mansi and Shivani were technically paraya dhan and packed off, but 'parcel returned'. So has no say, anyway.
Image Building - She has created this captivating image for her allies and rivals likewise. Look at Ashwini, her silence over the years can be construed as her power, but was seen as her submission to that captivating authority that Bhavani held. Even though she has a reason to defy her rule today, notice how there is a line of respect that she does not cross. A line which Virat has also not allowed Sai to cross till date. That is power. When even your rivals have to bow down to you at one point.
The false sense of pride and honour. Don't we know countless families (maybe our own or extended families too) who speak of the 'image' and are very fixed with the idea of why at least someone in the family "cannot be challenged". But then, there will be someone in every generation, who by nature, could have been a worthy rebel. However, due to the lack of support or due to the overwhelming majority around or due to compulsions of relationships, the rebel would be silenced and aloof. Also, this person in power has a great influence on the "guilt" quotient of the conscientious members of the clan, who actually abide by the rules out of their sincere allegiance to the family and do not blindly follow the leader for vested interests. So, while the chances of rebellion also come from conscientious members, they are also the ones to bow down because they actually "feel a bond" even with the oppressor. Don't you think Bhavani also classifies in one of the categories of Narcissism -- that of Grandiose? Her inflated ego about the blood running through her veins, the elegance and the "susheelta", which is so badly lacking. The need is for self-esteem enhancement, of being venerated and prioritised over everyone's need for even a breath. It is also easy for such narcissists to manipulate the ideologies of the flock they shepherd. Because everyone is conditioned to believe that this person's sense of importance and status must be preserved for the "larger" image of the clan.
Bhavani has subtly and tirelessly worked on her image as a leader, as someone who has tied her entire family together. Before Sai happened, nobody dared saying that Kaku was wrong, even if there were slight disagreements. But look at them now. Like Shivani said “Kharbuje ko dekh kar kharbuja rang badalta hai’’ , seeing Sai, Ashwini, Virat, Shivani have started raising their voices. Karishma attempted to. Omi and Sonali are being vocal by trying to raise their daughter-in-law in Bhavani’s eyes. These are red warnings for Bhavani, because her power is being contested, by people who do not want power.
These are people feeling the undercurrents. Before every political election (where, massive campaigning, calculation and exit polls come in), the sense on the ground is already felt. If a power shift is on the cards, those who are heavily dependent on the power centre for survival will feel it first. They eventually turn into fence-sitters until the exit poll is proven right or wrong. Just as the voting count begins, they begin to shift sides (not loyalty, because they have none). If shifting sides also gives a chance for negotiation, they will gladly take it to extract the best benefits. But even if it doesn't and so long as it doesn't threaten their survival, they will shift.
Indoctrination and Manipulation - Bhavani then worked tirelessly to destroy their common sense (everyone in the minion gang), to sow confusion, to enforce obedience (everyone in that household), to isolate individuals(Ashwini, Mohit, Karishma, Sai) and crush their dignity (mostly potent in her treatment of Ashwini). Her power is so intense that people have been canalised to self-monitor what they say (Sonali, Karishma, Omi) and then, they start monitoring others (Ash., Sai, Virat).
To maintain power, you need to create an ideology that justifies why you are occupying the throne of power. This was very easy for Bhavani, for she she has created an ideology that she is the one that binds that family together, the reason for their happiness. And this ideology is the very foundation of that family. Everyone believes in that and accepts that indoctrination. Virat and Ashwini as well.
Have you read Naom Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent? It speaks of power centres "carrying out a system-supportive propaganda function, by reliance on market forces, internalized assumptions (sanskaar, parampara), and self-censorship (niyam,kanoon, pratishtha, badon ka aadar), and without overt coercion (sab ko ek mala me piroh kar rakhna)". Among the many filters that it highlights for manufacturing consent is managing the damage form a "flak". In the case of the family, "Flak" would refer to negative responses to a dark secret or a wrong decision or to orthodox thinking or oppression -- where some 'black sheep' (which is actually the white sheep) may question the power centre. The prospect of eliciting a flak can be a deterrent to the 'reporting' of certain kinds of facts or opinions -- eg: Devyani's story, crushing of Ashwini's college dreams, the stories we still don't know from their past. Ateet ke gadhe murde, as Ninad and Shivani mentioned in their minor face-off.
Making Allies to disarm your enemies - To hold onto power, you try to find allies (Ninad, Omi) who will fight your battles with your rivals (Ashwini), disarming them, while you do not have to even utter a word. She just gave them some power, kind of like how you give a child a candy to pacify them, and then completely neutralised them. I have to say it, she is very clever for she embraced her primary enemies (Ninad and Omi).
Why did Ninad and Omi not acquire the position that Bhavani had? (1) Before they even had the desire for power, Bhavani held that power. (2) Bhavani’s divide and rule policy.
If you look at the dynamics between Omi-Ninad-Bhavani, you will see that the two former express their opinions a lot, even if it is Bhavani who has the ultimate say. By letting them say whatever they want, Bhavani creates the illusion that they have power as well. Look at the Ninad-Ash. dynamics, Bhavani stopped the education of Ashwini, and in the era that took place, wouldn`t that constitute as a victory for Ninad - for what it shows? It shows that he was THE man and was able to keep his wife in check. When Bhavani says something against Ash, Ninad will add on to that and humiliate her, thinking that in her humiliation lies his power. What Ninad is ultimately doing is latching on the candy that Bhavani provided.
Chomsky refers to this as "acquiring a de facto licensing authority." The power centre would push some of the illusionary power to the allies, who want to gain. It in turn binds them to this unwritten bond that they must cater to the prejudices and desires of the "power centre". This in turn weakens the 'working class' of the family -- Ashwini, Virat, Sai, Shivani etc, who are actually the ones making sincere contributions to saving relationships.
The minions' gang are not stupid, they have their own reason for being in Bhavani’s inner circle.
Do you think the reason is anything but fear/insecurity or inertia to change? Badlav hi niyam hai, but many get jitters when they see change happening because it would push them out of the comfort cocoon they are sitting in and still enjoying the riches.
But at the very core of her hold of power is fear, paranoia. Fear of being challenged. I began with a quote, and I`ll end with one;
“‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown’’ - Shakespeare.smiley16
Oh yes! Totally agree. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. It is not easy to hold power in that sense. It is easier to acquire but difficult to keep. But, for a king, who knows how to rule upon himself will be able to carry the weight of the crown with a little ease.
"The pain of the narcissist is that, to him, everything is really a threat. What doesn't surrender in reverence is blasphemous to a high opinion of oneself - the burden of self-importance. The narcissist reconstructs his own law of gravity which states that all things and all creatures must adhere to his personal satisfaction, but when they do not, the pain is far more intense than it is for one who is free from the clamours of 'I'.” - Criss Jami
Edited by jankiraghav - 4 years ago
Indias Got Talent 11
Cricket
Anupamaa
