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893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: glassdoor

Happy holi peoples !! 🤗

Read through the three updates in one go. Nice flow in the writing.
This style of writing where one character becomes narrator for another is quite becoming and cool. 😎
I will comment more on it below.

When you spoke about beqraar song, i thought it was the other one 'Oh beqraar dil'. 😃 This one is a nice song selection too. Kishore da will always be a classic for me.

Losing parents at such a crucial juncture is .
Is Dev's girlfriend Geet?

A little bit confusing there. I guess the story is yet to begin.
But from what I know and what I presume away let me jot down my blabber below:

The prologue I presume is Maan? The entire update was filled with a feeling of intensity and estrangement. It already showed his character well. There was no need for Daadi to describe him any! It was an awesome beginning. 👏

The second update was filled with a kind of self centered yet sweet brat. (Hey I am the only one in the world who is allowed to have a secret crush on Dev 😡. Mind it! ) Again Daadi's description of him was kind of a moot point.

Daadi's update however confooosed me a little bit. 😕 Did she say Geet?
For me Daadi appears to be the main narrator of this story? With other characters just feeling themselves out but Daadi binding them as a cohesive unit as a matriarch ought to? That is fantastic thinking and writing! Keep it up. 👏


P.S : I am under an ass load of work right now. 😭. *sniff sniff* . With loads of drama I regret to inform you that my tippanis would not be as regular as I would like. *head down on bench and bawls* . Dont phorget me please !!


Awww... we would never forget Sheeshji...
I am in a similar boat, hence the short update style.
I am using each character to come out and give a little bit on the leads and a little bit of the story. Story does not have too much dum, simple hai so trying to use various voices to tell it... a little bit of luka chupi to keep it interesting ..😊
You let me know whenever you can, no pressure at all...
Thanks for reading it.
Next update tomorrow..
893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Kal as soon as I wake up!!!
Koolsmile thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: dqno1



How do u know to be there for me at the right time. I was so down that half of the readers did not come back for this part... Almost felt that maybe i am not doing this right.

🤗


The scene left almost every reader teary-eyed Avi, how can yew doubt ? 😲
It was the most beautiful scene out of the whole chapter , seriously 😊
893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Koolsmile


The scene left almost every reader teary-eyed Avi, how can yew doubt ? 😲
It was the most beautiful scene out of the whole chapter , seriously 😊

Thanks Nauri for keeping my honsla up! I loved that scene too..
After all behnas hai...🤗
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: dqno1


Thanks Nauri for keeping my honsla up! I loved that scene too..
After all behnas hai...🤗


Haaye main kisi kaam to aayi 😳 😆
🤗
893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Naureen kaam mein aana hai toh iss pic ke liye shaiyari de de...
😆
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: dqno1


Naureen kaam mein aana hai toh iss pic ke liye shaiyari de de...
😆



Mujhe khamosh raahon me tera saath chahye,
Tanha hai mera haath , tera haath chahye 😳 ❤️
893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Koolsmile



Mujhe khamosh raahon me tera saath chahye,
Tanha hai mera haath , tera haath chahye 😳 ❤️

Waah waah yeh Maan pe set hai...👏
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Koolsmile



Mujhe khamosh raahon me tera saath chahye,
Tanha hai mera haath , tera haath chahye 😳 ❤️


Waah! ❤️

Avi, Naureen ne challenge bakhubi poora kiya!
893213 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: mayyo13


Waah! ❤️

Avi, Naureen ne challenge bakhubi poora kiya!

Unhe unka inaam mil gaya hai, your honor...😊

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