In Memoriam - Page 2

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TangledThoughts

@TangledThoughts

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

It is an amazing piece of work. Or shall I say a masterpiece.
I am amazed that the cvs failed to portray such a meloncholic beauty of the memory loss track which was perfectly and most brilliantly captured in your one shot.
Alas, the what ifs...
I felt as if I was actually watchimg these two in your creative world.
The jhumkas took away my heart and so did the ride to the dhaba..
CAB FARE was the sweetest touch to bring about tje memories of their magical past...

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640638

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

I totally loved it.

I had wondered also why they never thought to end his ML on the show. The way you did it here was superb. The dhaba, the anarkali, the jhumkas all bring us down that beautiful place in our memories.

I am so in love with this piece. Your way of bringing their love story along and his way of telling her...I am totally at a loss for words. Muaaah! Superb, superb, superb.

I find myself with a hole in my hearts these days, where your characters have taken residence.

Amazing work!

Thanks for writing it.

Edited by had2bu - 12 years ago

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palindrome

@palindrome

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

If you remember,about a month ago, a "FF Awards" thread was being created here...You were nominated for "Gehraiyaan" in that thread..

Without giving a second thought ,i have voted you in the category of "Best FF",however at the time of voting for "Most versatile writer",my heart showed little reluctance as till then,i had read only "Gehraiyaan"...

After reading this "OS",I am so glad and proud of myself that I did vote you in second category" too that day...!!!

You are more amazing than what we call "amazing"...😊👏👏

Edited by palindrome - 12 years ago

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ddgcmgfan

@ddgcmgfan

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Zarin...sigh!!!! You have done it again...I am speechless. I have so much to say for this OS but I feel my saying anything is not going to be enough. 'A beautiful Ode to the golden era of one of the best shows on Indian television'.👏...I miss GHSP😭

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mayyo

@mayyo

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

I'm late, I know and I'm sorry for that.

I was unintentionally putting this one off to read at a later time because somewhere instinctively knew this would create a magical spell which I wouldn't want to get out of. And was I right!

Ah, Zarin. What do I say except that this something you wrote holds so much importance to all of us: the fans who desperately wanted Maan to get his memory back and recall all those wonderful moments he'd spent with Geet prior to that fateful catastrophe.

You so perfectly portrayed the tinge of disappointment Geet felt all those times when Maan would unknowingly remind her of the precious memories she holds close to herself but could never share with Maan. Though they moved on in life happily, she still couldn't help by twist he'd remember all that; him calling her Mishti, relating her presence to the jhumkas, reliving the magic of Roop Tera mastan with her. All of this made me, along with Geet, wish he'd realise that they're reliving their beautiful memories. Then I doubted if Maan was all acting as if he doesn't remember. By the time he exited the car at the Dhaba, I sighed believing that he doesn't remember anything.

The note actually made me cry happy tears, and I'm not exaggerating here. And I was left smiling at the thought that he does remember everything. If only they had brought his memory back in the show. If only...

Not many words to say this time Z, except that I loved it. Too much to express. 😊

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kaamchorni

@kaamchorni

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

I want to thank you all for indulging my little experiment. I wrote this to resolve my own little frustrations and disappointment with the show and I'm surprised to find that my bhatakti hui aatma is actually finding peace!

I hope In Memoriam brought some sort of happiness to you and that you enjoyed the throwback to the glory days, as it were. I definitely enjoyed putting in the little references. I wonder if you guys spotted them all 😛

Thanks for reading.

- Zarin

P.S. Gehraiyan lot - you would not believe the number of times I wrote 'Heer' instead of 'Here'!

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kaamchorni

@kaamchorni

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: Susegad
Aaj toh pehli bogi, pehle shreni ka reservation
me is a first class citizen 😆

Sigh the good ole days. A beautiful walk down memory lane that never happened. In the series had a whole personality transplant along with his memory loss. 😔

I have always wondered what would happen if I ever lost my memory. Many a times I feel a sense of deja vu and when I retrace my steps, I remember doing the same thing that I am currently doing and I also react the same way to a given situation as I previously had. So I have a feeling that if I ever lose my memory I'd still fall for the same man again😉, have the same friends, and be in life exactly where I am right now. I guess it is called instinct and our brain patterns are set, even if they are forgotten and buried deep in the layers of our suconcious.

So now coming to the update. When he called her, "My wife, the sweetheart." I knew somewhere in his mind he was instinctively calling her Mishty. Same goes for the Jhumkas, that too was instinct for him, wasnt it or had he regained his memory by then?

The "Never again." was two-fold wasn't it? He missed her and he recalled her.
The best part for me was how beautifully he recreated their memories. The white anarkali was the perfect outfit for him obviously,as this was the first date of their life once again. The cab fare was the perfect humorous touch you could have given this "In Memoriam."

I absolutely loved your version of, "a walk down memory lane".😃

He had only regained his memory in the last part.

I agree with the bolded. I feel that our personalities, the things that are intrinsic to our nature will not be lost with our memories. And so ultimately, they will lead us down a similar path, if not the very same. The only thing I worry about is our secret thoughts and feelings - the things that never existed to anyone in the world but ourselves. If we're not met with the same catalysts, do we lose those thoughts forever?

Thank you Nisha Di :) Your being here means a lot.

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kaamchorni

@kaamchorni

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: glassdoor
res ...yipeee me on same page as Zarin

EDIT ~~~~

How do you manage this? Like take something so commonplace and make it so haunting. It is almost scary to read this page for it sucks one in. Although the piece does not need any musical embellishments, it is perfectly suited. The black and white lake and slow nasal drawl. Just perfect.

His wink was reciprocated by her sarcastic nod.

The above line says so much to me. Like though there is nothing there to describe his clothing or hers, I can imagine the entire scene and it has that slow lazy drawl that the music depicts.

The entire scene in the kitchen is so welched by sadness and pain. Like the person is there, yet is not actually there. It must be so frustrating to feel so much dissatisfaction. I wish the CVs were able to capture this in their useless memory loss track. To me, Geet looked somewhat cry babyish and spineless there and Maan looked like he had walked out of a coma instead of suffering from memory loss.

Ignoring the gentle pang in her heart, she cleared the counter and left for work.

That is it isn't it. Life is all about gentle pangs. She cleared the counter, such a commonplace activity. Yet it pains me watch her do it.

2nd scene is many years later I gather. And it still haunts me.

The sadness in there is unbearable. When we are with a person a friend even, we assume so many things. I met a friend of mine after so many years. We were close once upon a time and used to laugh at each others lame jokes. Suddenly in the present those jokes were uncomfortable instead of funny. It was hard work to even have a normal conversation. That is the feeling I got from the entire scene. Even those earrings cannot replace the memory of the earrings from the past. Oh Zarin ji, it is unbearable. I just want to splash cold water on the CV's face.

3rd scene

This time again

"You're dressed..." he looked at her cream anarkali carefully, his eyes telling a story she couldn't yet understand. "...perfectly. You're dressed perfectly, Geet."

One can such cruel lines enter your writing. Like how dare they!

And the cab fare part was ⭐️. Finally the reality is becoming as exciting as the memory. It took a while but it happened.

Enuf said, Take a bow Umrao Jaan.

Thank you, Sheesh ji! You are so very meherbaan. I'm really overwhelmed and humbled by the support from my friends.

I thought there were some very fleeting moments where the memory loss track was going somewhere. Maan calling out for Geet in his sleep, remembering the favourite shirt she gave him, drunk Geet telling him a story (one of my favourite episodes to date) and the post-Teej conversation where they were both honest about their feelings and helplessness.

But all of that petered out in to...well, nothing. I'm angry because there was potential.

I think everyone can relate to your story about you and your friend. And when do you decide when to cut your losses? People are strange creatures...

Thank you for being here, Don Corleone Senior.

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kaamchorni

@kaamchorni

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: TheBrat
I planned to edit it after a month. Or after it. In fact I planned to read it later.
Kick me.
I know I can't resist you.
Eeks that sounds wrong. I meant I can't resist your writing.

Freudian slip, Bratty 😉

And look what am doing.
This is one of the best pieces of your work.
Haha. Who am I kidding? I love everything you wrote, and this is an example of saying that time and again you set your standards up so high, like little diamonds in the sky.
Okay ignore the last part, I was being my usual blabbermouth self😆

😆 Shukran!

There was a tinge of disappointment in her, wasn't there? Of course it will be, it shall be. Though there was magic in their relationship, that magic which was once there couldn't be replaced, or let me rephrase my words, couldn't be erased from her memory.
It is strange that we humans though live in present, long for the days gone by, memoirs are all that would be left with us and those are all that make life worth living.
Small moments everything were, but that pinch she felt knowing that those memories were only a part f her now, and she was the secret keeper, how must she have felt?
And the last scene...you had me smile funnily, half of me want to dive into PC and want to scream with happiness, half of me want to jump at you and hug the living daylights out of you. Thank you for this Zarin. This is bloody beautiful.

A thought that kept nagging me after the show's end was that if he didn't know her past and their history, how could he possibly know her? How could he understand her? When she feels tinges of sadness at the child she lost or someone asks her where her parents are, how can he possibly support her if he doesn't know? It really bothered me.

Thank you SM for not being able to resist me! ;)

PS: I love the music selection and since Youtube is banned at Mariam's place, I think Shika-ing it is the best option.😆

Didn't like the song at all when they used it in Geet but it really grew on me later.

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kaamchorni

@kaamchorni

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: aditi_2010
wow!!! beautiful!!! it took me straight to the old days and i could picture it all happen...

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

Originally posted by: mannubhardwaj
"Roop tere os ka mastana,
hamara padne kaPyaar deewana,
Bhool koi humse na ho jaye..."
comment me bhool na ho jaye..
nice os..