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Posted: 13 years ago

#171

I seem to have the same questions as Geet. Thanks for the update.

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basicquestion1

@basicquestion1

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#172

nooo i wrote u this long thingy n it just evaporated into thin air :{

neways...i just wrote how i luvd that maan in an odd way did acknowledge that he is attracted towards geet and the only reason he can't approach her is coz of his duty towards his mission.

secondly i liked how geet has started to think about herself for once.

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Saba

@Eccentric.Being

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#173

Hey Lena,
Awesome Update though it did not satisfied me with length. Call me greedy😛 but I want more 😊.

Maan might have alreday read her possible move of tricking him to come out of shadows but still he came out because Geet did not took the element in consideration that "what if Maan don't come?" but then this is how they are bound, Maan being her savior & her getting into troubles.

LOL, She should not let her guard down even if it's Maan; see Geet, he threw u on hard ground to break it easy on u to understand the problems it will create for him & U if u keep pushing him.

OMG, Maan was so harsh when he tried to make Geet understand a thing he can't convince himself of fully but then the condition, he is living in is also critical. But his act was superb 👏 & Geet was able to get a glimpse of truth in his eyes even when he evaded it in the veil of attraction.

Yash's being bipolar is irritating me now. Either u want a clean friendship or a relation. both can't work at the same time. U know what I mean? Right. Yash is being a friend & still, three of them can sense the undercurrents because they are too focused to interpret every move of other.

Half truth & Half lie can be more dangerous than a complete truth or lie. & at least, Geet have not made a mistake of exposing Maan's true identity because if it comes into open then there are going to be disastrous results for sure.

At last, Geet's preoccupied mind is thinking in the right direction. Now she is thinking on right lines starting with basics (Kind of) like; who want's to protect her from whom & why?

Love U Lena & we know u r very busy so hoping that u get some free time to relax & give us lots more update. 😊
Can't wait to read Maan's POV. Will be waiting eagerly. 😃

Edited by serenelove - 13 years ago

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Zubi

@misssmily

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#174

Awww amazing part ! 😲
Loved it ! ( actually love evrything u write ^^ ) 😳 😉

Hmmm so finally maan's identity has been revealed to geet.

Concerning the way you did it : it was really good ! 👏 geet didn't comment on him being msk, and it didn't irritate, because you cleverly ( who said u aren't ^^ ) insisted ( Two beautifully written paragraph, full of imagery 👍🏼 ) on the fact that she was feeling so nice having him so close to her that she chose not to think about anything else and feel the moment. 👏

Very well done BUT 😆 on a second thought, one or two lines may be after he left her against the tree or the days after their interaction it would have been good to see geet having flashbacks of him as msk coz now that she knows who he his these interactions could have been interpreted in a very different way from what she felt when they actually happened... She could have seen his concern or on the contrary if u wanted to add to her frustation, she could have interpreted them as a his duty which would have added to her misery ! ( do i make sense ??? 😕 😆 ^^ but i knw u understand me 😉 )

Now comming to maan's behavior : OH GOD !!! i was drooling over his charisma through your lines ! hahaha 🤣 Wonderfull speech from maan !!! Loved each sentence ! 👏
But hope u have very strong reasons to explain why he is constantly rejecting her and that too in a very rude way, because during his whole speech he didn't show any other emotion apart from anger ( apart from when he talked abt his attraction, which has surely be interprated as infuatuation by geet considering the situation),not a tiny miny clue to geet abt his hidden feelings, the whole thing was very harsh ( but here i was drooling over his rudness 🤣 hahaha )!

Now the fact is geet has nothing left to cling to 😕 ...hence she can do foolish things, she has already started bdw : she thought abt revealing his identity to yash,she didn't do it but even the thought of this is alarming, the situation is becoming critic... I am telling u girl, u must have very strong reasons to give us, otherwise the whole rejecting thing will seem exagerated ! 😛

But hopefully once regaining from the shock she has started wondering abt maan's motives. 😊

It was a very good part, essentiel for the story to progress, geet's "emotional rollercoaster" was exellent ! 👏 The difference of atmosphear between the beginning of the chap and its end is really big, and u managed to do it gradually, it was fluid, not at all a brutal change! hatts off for that ! 👏 👍🏼

Oh you are finally fulfilling my wish ahhh me so happy 🥳, i remember i so loved ur last long monologue of maan 😍, i have really high expectations ! 😛 That's a part of the game, the better you are the higher we expect ! 😉

Ok comming to my piece of critic ( *ewww zubi ! haven't you criticizied enough above ??? 😲...*zubi makes innocent face * ...hmmm no that was just some random remarks, wasn't it 😳 ???? 🤣 😉 )

2 things :

it's been a long time we didn't hear about the woman who gives orders to maan... u should at least have 2/3 words for her in the next chap...

and yeah, honestly, from what u wrote so far noone can say Yash is a negative charater, lots of people are talkin abt "bad vibes"... but may b they assume it because there isn't any "proper" negative character at the moment... he is crazy but so far there is nothing based on which we can say he is negative... so me think if you plan to turn him negative in the future then start creating mysterious atmosphear around him...

Pfiuuu... lagta hai kuch zyada hi likh dia aaj 🤣...
But me loved the part so jo zain me ata gaya likhti gahi 😆

Love you lena 🤗

What ??!!! 😲 Saba AGAIN 🤣 🤣 🤣 paranoid kaise na houn !!!! 😆

Edited by misssmily - 13 years ago