Posted:
I saw him today....the face...those eyes...and the world stopped....no thats not true...the world stopped turning for me the day i left ...my heart , my soul behind me....thats the day everything lost its meaning...nothing matters anymore..i just dont feel or care.....i dont care whether i am in a Gurudwara or a bus or a family....even the family i once loved...feels like a bunch of strangers....maybe i am just frozen....so why did i leave him??
The world might call me a stubborn fool...maybe I am...but then i know that my beliefs were never popular with the society and its norms....yes I m a fool...coz i believe that love...even if out of this world...eternal...impossible...is not enuff...yes only love however deep is not enuff to sustain a relationship like marriage...to me what is equally or even more important is trust and the most imp...respect.....and in my heart of hearts i always knew that i had won his heart but not his respect....he loves me beyond human limits..never doubted that...and similarly he knows i exist only for him...but....then there is no place for pride in love...no place for superiority or inferiority....no egos should exist between two souls tied in the supreme everlasting bond...but somewhere there was an imbalance.....
The world will call me ungrateful...he gave me everything any woman can desire...he made the whole world respect a little nobody..he gifted me the most beautiful gift ever....dignity....but....i wish i could earn, demand, the same from him....respect and dignity..he won it for me...and then shredded it in front of the man i hated the most in my life....yes....it hurt...it shattered me into million pieces...when he uttered those words...it was violent....it did not leave marks on my body...but scarred my soul..my hero..the man who faught for me every step of the way...and then tattered my honor n respect just like once the same spectator..his brother had done....but this time it killed me....why coz...when Dev did it....i did not love him...did not worship him...and maybe thats why i forgave him...and moved on...coz that man no longer matters to me....i wanted to drag Maan out of that shadow..of hate..of bitterness that was eating him up...i wanted to cure my Maan from that cancer..and for that...i swallowed my pain..my ...but when Maan showed his disrespect....his fury...his anger...it just ripped me ...shattered me in a million pieces...coz he is my hero..my God...my honor ...and if Maan..my hero openly acknowledges my inferiority....how can i live with my head held high..how can i claim to be his wife...
Maan the only reason i was in KM....not Daadi not Annie..so whatever they said is immaterial...coz my ears only wanted to hear his words...when i left the room...when i went upstairs...when i packed...when i came down the stairs..when i walked out....without looking back...dying to hear him call my name....wanting to talk to him but unable to break the wall of silence around his heart...waiting for him to talk to me....try and sort out whatever had prompted him to lash out at me....but he was silent...my God could not hear the prayer in my heart....and now nothing matters....nothing......maybe i am dead....but.....today ....i saw him.....
Members Lounge
Book Talk
Current Affairs
