Posted:
Hello!
I usually let my post follow the title undisturbed, but today i felt a need to add this small message owing to the forums present state.
Though i refuse to be judgmental but at times your emotions are too strong to not be unbiased, yes today i write for only 'today', for Maan & why i felt he was right when he said the 'unsayable'.
This is my point of view & i respect the fact that not many will agree with me.
Everyone is entitled to have a opinion & voice it.
This post is my attempt to voice mine.
Do avoid this post & from commenting if you hate it coz owing to my ongoing exams i might not be able to answer you & would hate to miss doing it.
_________________________
As I Saw My Life Fade Away
He had watched her then .... he watched her now ........ but she faded away & he felt he lost her.
Maan had met a girl who had run to him & cried for his help to save her from eve- teasers, goons but when he dint stir she ran from there. She slipped & could have drown in the river, in her fear & acceptance of life as it comes; when he jumped in , swam & brought her out from there.
His rude words made her wipe her tears, tears of fear, tears that cried of weakness not strength.
His rude words against women & their weakness made her want to defend herself & her kind.
Seeds of self respect that her family, her Darji & brother who had curbed from its roots, her parents who did not let it grow ...seeds to that self respect in a woman got sown & watered by this arrogant man on their very first meeting.
His words affected her & she reflected herself in them to realize she needs to voice herself, stand for herself. And their next meeting she voices her unsaid gratitude, the fact that his words have changed her when she challenges him, stands up to him 'How can you call me weak now? After you had called tears as weakness in women I've never let them weaken me'.
'Geet' he soon learnt the name for the face that seemed to cross his life & his thoughts more often when he saw her infront of his own eyes evolve from a scared girl to a rebel woman who fought for her rights against her own family & then fight for her life when they tried to shut her voice.
Again he saved her, this time not from her own lost self alone but from her own blood kin who tried to kill her with the very blessings from their Darji in the name family honor.
Destiny again brought them face to face & soon her fights became his for him as knowingly ' unknowingly he became anchor to her life as she became the beacon of light to his.
Her fight for survival & fierce need to see justice being met had him bow to her spirits, to love her to bits.
He opened his locked heart in respect for the girl who had punished her brother & abandoned her family for the crime they committed against her & the society, who did not forgive them coz they are her family but set an example so that no daughter ever suffers what she did , for the woman who cherished her motherhood.
The killing truth that the faceless man he hates the most for having ruined Geet's life & made her suffer so much is none other than his own brother Dev does not stop him from being her knight again in her fight for justice.
Not love for his brother, concern for his family , family name & goodwill ...not even his old Dadi's pleadings make him melt & he sends his brother to jail to bring justice to Geet.
He let his family tear apart yet did not leave her alone in her quest for punishing Dev as Geet's self respect to him mattered more than his blood relationship with Dev.
Quest that died in the eyes of law by lack of evidence but never in his heart. He did not forgive Dev his sins , he punished his brother by turning him out from being a Khurana heir to now a nobody.
Destiny that brought Geet & him together now as man & wife, had him owe his life to Dev who again entered their life.To him death was more welcome thought than having to live in gratitude, Geet being made grateful to Dev.
Even owing his life to Dev does not make him forgive nor forget Dev's sins nor is his trust restored in him.
He is astounded to hear Geet forgive him, Geet who wanted justice so that no women ever suffers her plight, Geet who had once walked out from his life assuming that he had forgiven Dev.
His Geet forgave her sinner.
They had lost their Baby now, his intention of cleaning the Baby's room was misunderstood by her & had saddened her. He did not want to question her & waited to hear her why she took such a big step.
She had come to talk to him but the thing he needed to hear first to be able to hear her at all he did not find her say that first & disappointed & fearing to show her his vulnerable emotions he leaves.
He tried to reason her doing so now & only thing that crossed his mind was that she as mark of gratitude at having saved him has forgiven Dev.
He knew this should not be, he did not trust Dev.
His inner battle that made him lock himself from Geet in attempt to shield her from it & himself trying to compose his thoughts.
He loses his battle & himself when he sees Dev move around scot free & enjoy the auspicious occasion with 'his' family.
With shock & disgust he watches Annie play holi with Dev, then Dadi.
He is shocked to see these two women he loves & respect having so readily accepted Dev.
But the sight that follows has him rooted -
Geet celebrating holi with Dev.
Geet smiles & allows Dev to touch her with those same hands that had once stripped her of her innocence & instead of cringing she applied tilak to him.
Tilak that is mark of respect shown towards the person.
Geet doing tilak of Dev.
A sight that makes blood freeze in his veins, his heart stop.
Did he see it right!
Did he see the woman who refused to forgive her sinner now actually forget his sins not alone forgive him!
Unable to hold himself back anymore he goes to confront Dev.
His eyes again meet to the sight of Dev having followed Geet into kitchen & trying to talk to her.
He pounces at him, questions him of his intentions, why is he interfering in their life so much!
All his questions to Dev has but one answer, nay question from the latter 'If Geet has forgiven me why can't you?'
The lava that had been filling ever since Dev had entered their life yet again erupts through his eyes, his words.
He roars in anger, pride & pain - Anger at what he saw & his own helplessness at it; Pride in his love, his woman whose fight for justice had him respect her & Pain to have lived to face this moment.
Yes he can never forgive Dev. How can any man of self respect & integrity stand to see the man who had once treated his wife as flesh alone & later as a rag dropped her to suffer. How can any man forgive such man!
He roars in fury ' If she has lost her understanding of right & wrong its not for me to correct; if she is ready to let go of her self respect, forget all the torments & insults she suffered coz of you & now celebrates holi with you does not mean i'll be doing same as my pride & self respect will never let me forgive you nor forget your sins. What did you do to make my wife forgive that man who i hate with all my heart?'
Unable to stop himself his eyes that were emitting fire meet hers & questions her 'What has Dev done to make you forget everything that you suffered? How can you forget it? How can one ever forget?' he cries to her.
Masking his disappointment , his pain & utmost his fear in anger he hurts her with his words as she hurt him with her actions.
It was not only about her forgiving but her forgetting everything as it never had happened had him stare at her in disbelieve.
'Maan' her silent cry makes him stop, he feels her walk away from him he knows he has bleed her heart, but his soul has been brutally wounded too.
He knows he has again been misunderstood that his anger was not towards her but for her. He does not go to stop her from walking away, nor explain himself.
How can she be so blind to his pain & only see his anger ... how can she ever had loved him, loves him but fail to understand him ? How can she take his words on face value & not take into account the emotions they hold in them?
He watched his life fade away infront of his own eyes that are now blank of any emotion as his heart, his soul have been ripped apart from him.
Love
Nandita
He had watched her then .... he watched her now ........ but she faded away & he felt he lost her.
Maan had met a girl who had run to him & cried for his help to save her from eve- teasers, goons but when he dint stir she ran from there. She slipped & could have drown in the river, in her fear & acceptance of life as it comes; when he jumped in , swam & brought her out from there.
His rude words made her wipe her tears, tears of fear, tears that cried of weakness not strength.
His rude words against women & their weakness made her want to defend herself & her kind.
Seeds of self respect that her family, her Darji & brother who had curbed from its roots, her parents who did not let it grow ...seeds to that self respect in a woman got sown & watered by this arrogant man on their very first meeting.
His words affected her & she reflected herself in them to realize she needs to voice herself, stand for herself. And their next meeting she voices her unsaid gratitude, the fact that his words have changed her when she challenges him, stands up to him 'How can you call me weak now? After you had called tears as weakness in women I've never let them weaken me'.
'Geet' he soon learnt the name for the face that seemed to cross his life & his thoughts more often when he saw her infront of his own eyes evolve from a scared girl to a rebel woman who fought for her rights against her own family & then fight for her life when they tried to shut her voice.
Again he saved her, this time not from her own lost self alone but from her own blood kin who tried to kill her with the very blessings from their Darji in the name family honor.
Destiny again brought them face to face & soon her fights became his for him as knowingly ' unknowingly he became anchor to her life as she became the beacon of light to his.
Her fight for survival & fierce need to see justice being met had him bow to her spirits, to love her to bits.
He opened his locked heart in respect for the girl who had punished her brother & abandoned her family for the crime they committed against her & the society, who did not forgive them coz they are her family but set an example so that no daughter ever suffers what she did , for the woman who cherished her motherhood.
The killing truth that the faceless man he hates the most for having ruined Geet's life & made her suffer so much is none other than his own brother Dev does not stop him from being her knight again in her fight for justice.
Not love for his brother, concern for his family , family name & goodwill ...not even his old Dadi's pleadings make him melt & he sends his brother to jail to bring justice to Geet.
He let his family tear apart yet did not leave her alone in her quest for punishing Dev as Geet's self respect to him mattered more than his blood relationship with Dev.
Quest that died in the eyes of law by lack of evidence but never in his heart. He did not forgive Dev his sins , he punished his brother by turning him out from being a Khurana heir to now a nobody.
Destiny that brought Geet & him together now as man & wife, had him owe his life to Dev who again entered their life.To him death was more welcome thought than having to live in gratitude, Geet being made grateful to Dev.
Even owing his life to Dev does not make him forgive nor forget Dev's sins nor is his trust restored in him.
He is astounded to hear Geet forgive him, Geet who wanted justice so that no women ever suffers her plight, Geet who had once walked out from his life assuming that he had forgiven Dev.
His Geet forgave her sinner.
They had lost their Baby now, his intention of cleaning the Baby's room was misunderstood by her & had saddened her. He did not want to question her & waited to hear her why she took such a big step.
She had come to talk to him but the thing he needed to hear first to be able to hear her at all he did not find her say that first & disappointed & fearing to show her his vulnerable emotions he leaves.
He tried to reason her doing so now & only thing that crossed his mind was that she as mark of gratitude at having saved him has forgiven Dev.
He knew this should not be, he did not trust Dev.
His inner battle that made him lock himself from Geet in attempt to shield her from it & himself trying to compose his thoughts.
He loses his battle & himself when he sees Dev move around scot free & enjoy the auspicious occasion with 'his' family.
With shock & disgust he watches Annie play holi with Dev, then Dadi.
He is shocked to see these two women he loves & respect having so readily accepted Dev.
But the sight that follows has him rooted -
Geet celebrating holi with Dev.
Geet smiles & allows Dev to touch her with those same hands that had once stripped her of her innocence & instead of cringing she applied tilak to him.
Tilak that is mark of respect shown towards the person.
Geet doing tilak of Dev.
A sight that makes blood freeze in his veins, his heart stop.
Did he see it right!
Did he see the woman who refused to forgive her sinner now actually forget his sins not alone forgive him!
Unable to hold himself back anymore he goes to confront Dev.
His eyes again meet to the sight of Dev having followed Geet into kitchen & trying to talk to her.
He pounces at him, questions him of his intentions, why is he interfering in their life so much!
All his questions to Dev has but one answer, nay question from the latter 'If Geet has forgiven me why can't you?'
The lava that had been filling ever since Dev had entered their life yet again erupts through his eyes, his words.
He roars in anger, pride & pain - Anger at what he saw & his own helplessness at it; Pride in his love, his woman whose fight for justice had him respect her & Pain to have lived to face this moment.
Yes he can never forgive Dev. How can any man of self respect & integrity stand to see the man who had once treated his wife as flesh alone & later as a rag dropped her to suffer. How can any man forgive such man!
He roars in fury ' If she has lost her understanding of right & wrong its not for me to correct; if she is ready to let go of her self respect, forget all the torments & insults she suffered coz of you & now celebrates holi with you does not mean i'll be doing same as my pride & self respect will never let me forgive you nor forget your sins. What did you do to make my wife forgive that man who i hate with all my heart?'
Unable to stop himself his eyes that were emitting fire meet hers & questions her 'What has Dev done to make you forget everything that you suffered? How can you forget it? How can one ever forget?' he cries to her.
Masking his disappointment , his pain & utmost his fear in anger he hurts her with his words as she hurt him with her actions.
It was not only about her forgiving but her forgetting everything as it never had happened had him stare at her in disbelieve.
'Maan' her silent cry makes him stop, he feels her walk away from him he knows he has bleed her heart, but his soul has been brutally wounded too.
He knows he has again been misunderstood that his anger was not towards her but for her. He does not go to stop her from walking away, nor explain himself.
How can she be so blind to his pain & only see his anger ... how can she ever had loved him, loves him but fail to understand him ? How can she take his words on face value & not take into account the emotions they hold in them?
He watched his life fade away infront of his own eyes that are now blank of any emotion as his heart, his soul have been ripped apart from him.
Love
Nandita
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