ott maaneet madness 3rd update plz comment

mayurlover4eva thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
<font size="3">come on ppl we can do it 1 more day before maaneet and their magic will once again shower until then please enjoy my update and hope you like it please comment

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1461788 - part 1
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1461833 - part 2

"you can call me pari" she said with a smile. "errr hello my name is geet" stuttered geet "maans secretary maan talks alot about you" she said. geet didnt know wether to be happy that maan talks about her or be sad that he talks to this girl who geet didnt like at all. no way geet was thinking all ready she had made her mind up about pari this girl is not right for maan, what if she fits maans criteria for the qualities in his girl she was way too bold and and and just not right because geet couldnt think of another thing bad about pari.

"dadi yeh woh ladki hai jiske main baad karra tha" maans words made geet sting to the core with jealousy "aap baate kijye main chalta hoon mujhe chopra wali deal sign karne hai. "maan ek kaam karo tum chopras koh yaha bolalo aur deal dinner ki saath sign kar lena. "theek hai main unko phone karta hoon" maan replied "dadi mein chalti hoon dinner ki liye tyaar hona hai" geet said trying not to cry so before the tears could spill she started walking towards the stairs towards her room.

"akir usme kiya hai jo mujh mein nahi hai?" she questioned babaji. when she looked down again she saw the high heels that she had worn and fell over in when maan had said "yeh tumare baas ki baat nahi hai", "high class aur tum belkul bhi saat nahi jati" his words were repeating themself in her mind "baas, ab mein unko high class banki dikaogee" she looked inside her cupboard but all she could see were salwar kameez and suits nothing which could be called high class in maans eyes. "idea ek kaam karte hoon uss pari se pooch ti hoon" she moved her hands creating wings while also raising her eyebrows in sarcasm. "pari my foot". "lekin sirf uske paas aasse kapre hoonge".


she walks downstairs to pari and starts to wonder about how to ask her. "hey pari umm tumhe pata hain na ki aaj dinner hain chopras ki saath, hain toh mein sooch rahe thi ki tumhare paas koi dress hoga joh mein pehen sakte hoon kyunki mere paas to sirf salwar kameez hai aur dinner peh bohat loog ane wale hai na toh..." geet voice getting even more like mummbling by the end. "yah sure why not pere paas aise bohot kapre hai jo main tumhe lend kar sakte hoon, dont worry i understand ek kaam karte hoon main upne driver ko beeg deti hoon ki kapre leh ayye theek hai" pari said. "thank you pari" geet said truthfully </font>

<font size="3"> ok thanks 4 reading please comment karo mein itna hard work kar rahe hoon i dont have a habit of writing this much thank god its holidays right now please comment ya like toh karo 😃 </font>


http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1462391#32882858 - next part
Edited by mayurlover4eva - 15 years ago

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Poli.Geek thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
nice, cool, short parts.

Can't wait till tomorrow. Hope that Pari is like yours- helpful. She sounds so sweet.

Please continue.

Polki
adoremevirgo thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
i like that u write in small parts....and u r going really gud....waiting for next part....
_innocent_ thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
first of all... sorry i didnt get to comment on the second part... but i'll do it here...... it was good😉
and this one is also fantastic.....hope ki pari is a nice girl and zat she wont come between maaneet(i knw articles say she will bring MAANEET closer.... but STILL ).....
by the way i read the first one like 3 times alreadi.... am totali in love wiz the first one...
OVERALLL a fantastic piece of writing so far.... well done/./////// hope to read more of ur writings soon😉
Edited by _innocent_ - 15 years ago
mayurlover4eva thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: _innocent_

first of all... sorry i didnt get to comment on the second part... but i'll do it here...... it was good😉

</div>
and this one is also fantastic.....hope ki pari is a nice girl and zat she wont come between maaneet(i knw articles say she will bring MAANEET closer.... but STILL ).....


by the way i read the first one like 3 times alreadi.... am totali in love wiz the first one...


<div>OVERALLL a fantastic piece of writing so far.... well done/./////// hope to read more of ur writings soon😉



thank you sooooo much because your cmments mean a lot to me as this is the first time i have done something like this i love to know what you like about my writing and what i can do to make it better
i am glad you liked the first part as i had fun writing it also some of the credit goes to my English teacher who taught us creative writing lol but yh thank you please keep reading cos as long as you read i will keep writing 😊
Edited by mayurlover4eva - 15 years ago
rubab1690 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
aw amazing , mindblowin keep it up yaar🤗
_innocent_ thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
well for your first time... it was definiteli fantastic..... and since now u r going to continue wiz practice it will be absouteli PERFECT.... i will pm u abt wat i think u can do to improve it cuz am goin off now ..... but dnt worry zer is only one or two things i think u could improve on... to make it perfect😉
😆glad to see u love creative writing.... i hated it especially during ALEVEL times wen i had to write creative stories.... ))))> but yeah i'll pm u wen i come back online tommorow
jasmeet khaneja thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
lovely update...I can imagine the nxt scene...Geet in short clothes and high heels...and Maan staring at her..
Pls continue..
.sireesha. thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
Thats so Lovely Dear
pls pls pls continue soooooooooon
ramathi thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10
Lovely update.Waiting for the next part.Plz continue...

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