Chapter Forty Six
Dr Mishra had been right, in solitary confinement Sherry had more than enough time to think about what she should do in future.
She was trapped, completely and utterly trapped. She had to make a choice and she just couldnt.
On the one hand there was Naina, Naina who had already suffered so much as a result of the actions of Sherrys father. Naina who had given her so much love and care, who had always tried to make her happy, who had finally made Sherry feel like she was part of a family.
And now when it had looked like Naina was finally receiving the happiness she deserved, this had happened. Sherry couldnt allow the same thing to happen to Naina that had happen to Navin. She couldnt allow Naina, Raj or their baby to suffer this way.
If only she had had the courage to speak out about her father before now this could have all been avoided. In a way it was her fault she had caused this through her cowardice. Screaming in frustration, she slammed her fist down on the bench she sat on, welcoming the pain.
She deserved it.
And while she could not allow Naina to suffer, on the other hand there was Abhimanyu.
Abhimanyu who had always listened to her when she needed somebody to talk to, who had treated her as a friend, joked with her. Abhi, who had shown her kindness when she didnt deserve it, Abhi who she loved so much that the thought of losing him or betraying him tore her apart.
The thought of him in danger made her breath catch in her throat, they might injure him, even kill him and even if he survived the shame of losing the triggers would always haunt him.
She couldnt betray him, she wouldnt. She couldnt put her country at risk either.
She would prefer to die rather than do so.
She had briefly considered setting up at trap for Ritu when the woman tried to steal the triggers while they were being transported, but the risk was too great. Too many things could go wrong and if the triggers actually fell into her hands then the entire country could be ruined.
Unable to help herself, she began to cry, tears spilling forth from her eyes, sobs wracking her body. She was such a fool, she had honestly believed that she could escape from her fathers shadow, live happily with her brother and sister-in-law, have friends, perhaps even be with the man she loved
And now
There was no way out, no solution unless they could trap the real spy and Dr Mishra was far too clever for that.
Unless
Unless she
She balked at the thought, horrified at it. She couldnt there must be another way. A year ago she wouldnt have questioned such an action, she wouldve done it happily with no regrets. It was only when she had so much to lose, so much to live for that she didnt wish to
For the remaining hours, Sherry wracked her brain for another way, trying to think of another solution, any solution, but nothing came to her.
If she was going to have any chance of saving both of them, then this was the only way, the only way of getting Naina out of trouble, the only way to stop the triggers from being moved and therefore save Abhi
She was willing to do it, if she could only do one worthwhile thing in her life, one thing to make up for her cowardice then let it be this. Let this be the purpose for which she was born.
A single tear escaped from her left eye and she wiped it away angrily. She wouldnt cry again after this, certainly not for herself. There was nothing to regret and yet there was so much to regret.
She almost changed her decision at that moment, she couldnt do it there was another way, there had to be
But the sound of the door opening brought her back to reality.
She couldnt fail, there was too much at stake. The lives of the people that she loved most in the world, the safety of her country.
She wouldnt fail.
The guard told her that she could leave and Sherry walked out tiredly, squinting slightly at the sudden rush of light.
Sherry are you alright? Is your battery flat? Pooja asked her, rushing forward and supporting her.
Im fine Sherry told her, Really I am theres nothing to worry about.
She looked around at the assembled faces and noticed that one of them was missing.
Wheres Aalekh? she asked them, immediately worried. He hadnt done something had he if he too.
Aalekhbhai was upset after they sent you to solitary confinement, Ali told her, Major Nair said something to him and he just snapped hes been put into solitary confinement now too.
Sherry nodded, it was probably better this way. Aalekh knew her well, it was possible that he might have guessed what it was that she planned to do and tried to stop her. Now he wouldnt be here when it was discovered, it would be easier for him
Come on Sheru, lets take you to the mess. Huda told her, You need to get some food in you.
I dont feel like eating, she told him a bit weakly, I just want to go and rest
You have to eat something, Yudi told her, You need to keep your strength up with everything thats going on and Suriji made us promise to bring you there as soon as they let you out.
It almost made her cry again to hear it the way that they were all trying to keep her spirits up, look after her.
She loved all of them they were the first real friends she had ever had.
Is there any news on Bhaiyya and Bhabhie? she asked them as they headed towards the mess.
Theyre still being questioned Yudi told her, Shalini called just before to say that she didnt know when they would all be back. They let Naina take a rest and get some sleep after she insisted but it looks as if theyre determined to make her admit something.
Sherrys hand tightened into a fist as she heard this. The sooner that Naina got out of there the better and with Dr Shalini away from the academy her work was going to be much easier.
However she couldnt help but ask what she had been wondering from the time she had been released from solitary confinement.
Wheres Captain Abhimanyu? she asked them, she had hoped to see him at least once just once
He was called to a meeting this morning, Ali told her, He asked us to tell you that he would be back as soon as possible.
He had thought about her before going she wondered whether he had been reluctant to leave, knowing that she was about to be released from the confinement. She was sure that he had wanted to be there. In the end perhaps it was best if she didnt see him, because if she did, then her resolve was likely to weaken.
Sherry sat down in the mess with them while Suriji brought her some parathas.
Everything will be alright puttar he told her, placing a hand on her head, Just have faith in god
She nodded, unable to speak, and ate the parathas slowly, looking at the faces of her friends.
For however long a time she had known them, they had made her feel like she belonged, had been true friends to her. She was glad that she had known them.
Finishing her parathas, she stood up as the others looked at her uncertainly, as if wondering what they should do next.
I think Ill go and rest for awhile she told them, I didnt get much sleep last night
Do you want me to come with you? Pooja asked her, standing up as well.
No Pooja, you stay here I just want to sleep, Ill come and get you if I need anything. Sherry told her. She took one last look at them before she left the room, and wished that Aalekh actually had been there.
She made her way to Dr Shalinis room quickly, and searching for the cupboard, found what she had been looking for. It should do the trick, it would be painless and
Refusing to think about it, she hid the small bottle underneath her shirt and left the office, closing the door behind her. It was lucky that in the rush to leave Shalini hadnt remembered to lock it.
She had only taken two steps when she heard her name called and closing her eyes briefly, she turned around to face him.
Sherry are you alright? he asked her worriedly, I had been called into headquarters, I couldnt refuse I tried my best to talk to them about Naina but Im not sure how much they listened to. He reached out to grasp her by the shoulders, his hands warm even through her jacket.
Im okay she told him, trying not to look him directly in the eye, I just ate and thought that I might go and rest for awhile.
She was avoiding his eyes, and he gazed down at her, trying to work out why. Sherry everything will be alright. He told her. I know it doesnt seem like it right now, but you cant give up hope, well find a way to prove the truth. He tilted her chin up with one hand, forcing her to look into his eyes.
She looked into them, seeing the concern that was evident for her and for a moment she wavered. She couldnt it wasnt fair, she couldnt
With unhappy sigh, she dropped her head and very slowly leaned forward so that her forehead touched his chest. She allowed herself to rest there for a few moments, breathing in deeply as he stared down at her, confused, his hand hovering above her hair as if he wanted to place it there. Before he could do so, she stepped back, and gave him a sad smile.
Youre the best friend that Ive ever had. She told him, I hope you know that. Its the closest she can come to telling him how she feels, anything more than that will be too much.
Sherry, I he starts to say, but she steps back again.
Ill just go and rest now, she tells him, Im a bit tired Ill Ill see you later on.
He watched her go, a feeling of uneasiness gnawing at him.
There was something wrong he knew there was.
**
She finished writing her note, she had written it in only one attempt, including everything that she thought needed to be said. The blame would be taken soley by her, they wouldnt be able to question it, she would be dead, that would be evidence enough for anyone.
Glancing down at the bottle on the bed beside her, she tried to imagine what it would be like.
It wouldnt hurt it would be just as if she was going to sleep. She couldnt back out now, couldnt change her mind.
If she could save their lives by sacrificing hers then it was worth it. Her life meant nothing without them anyway, what would be the point in living if anything happened to one of them.
But still she hesitated.
She didnt want to die.
**
It was only after he had gone to his office that Abhi realized why he felt so uneasy.
The way that Sherry had spoken to him, the way she had acted it was as if she had been saying goodbye to him.
When he had spotted her, she had been coming from the direction of Dr Shalinis office but Dr Shalini was with Raj and Naina, so what was Sherry
Standing up so suddenly that his chair fell over, Abhi began to run.
He just prayed that he would be fast enough.
**
She took a deep breath and thought of all the people she loved.
It was for them, she reminded herself. She knew that they would feel guilty, but at least they would be safe at least they would be alive.
One last time she imagined the faces of her friends, her Bhaiyya and Bhabhie, Abhi
Last of all she thought of her father. She hoped he went to hell, honestly she did. She hoped that one day, no matter how long it took, somebody would bring him down.
She unscrewed the top of the bottle of pills and spilled them out into her hand, staring down at them.
She hoped that it wouldnt hurt.
It was as she raised her hand to her lips, preparing to swallow the pills that the door burst open, practically breaking off its hinges as Abhi hurtled into the room. She stared at him in shock unable to move as he ran across the room, grabbing her hand and opening it so that the pills spilled out across the floor.
What the hell do you think youre doing? he asked, shaking her, his voice panicked, not letting go of her wrist. What the hell is this, Sherry?
How did you she asked him, You werent supposed to
And if I hadnt figured it out? If youd succeeded? If youd died? He yelled at her, now grasping by her shoulders, How could you do this? Did you think that all the problems wouldve been solved if youd died?
Yes! she screamed back at him, almost crying now, Yes they wouldve been! So what if I die? What difference does it make? Is the world going to be a worse place if it doesnt have me in it?
I feel like slapping you for being so stupid! he yelled back, sounding enraged, the panic and fear he had felt on realizing it still apparent on his face. How could you think of doing this to us? To your brother, to Naina, to me!
You dont know she told him, sobbing now, You dont know what it was that she told me that I would have to make a choice, that if I betrayed you then I could save Naina I couldnt do it, I couldnt betray either of you, this was the best way, the only way
No! he told her forcefully, This was not the best way, theres always another way, Sherry, always. What did you think, that I would be happy living my life after you died, that I would just go on living? Dont you know that I He gulped, unable to say it even now, but surely she must know Promise me that youll never do this again. He pleaded with her, Promise me.
Why is it so important that I stay alive? she asked him, trying to stop herself from crying, You have no idea what the truth is about me, what I really am, I dont deserve to be alive, I
I dont give a damn what the truth is! Do you know what wouldve happened to me if I lost you? Dont you realize that I love you? he screamed, for once not stopping to realize what he was saying.
She broke down almost completely then, her face crumpling, her shoulders sagging under his grip. He pulled her to him, hugging her as she cried.
Dont ever do this again, dont ever, ever do this again. He begged her as he held her. Promise me Sherry, promise me that you wont.
Suddenly she stopped crying, stepping back slightly she looked up at him and raised her right hand to touch first his hair and then, very softly, his face. Standing on her toes, she leaned up and kissed his cheek, her lips slightly brushing the corner of his mouth.
You love me? she asks him. It is wrong of her but it is the only way she can think of now.
Yes It comes out as a long exhale. More than anything.
She takes his hand and places it on the top of her head. If you love me then promise me that youll do whatever I ask you to, she tells him, Swear that youll do it and I promise Ill never try to kill myself ever again.
And despite the fact that his head is screaming at him not to do it, Abhi really has no choice but to agree.
**
They had been questioning Naina yet again, trying to find something wrong with her story, something to prove against her when an officer had suddenly come in, whispering something to the man doing the interrogation. Shortly after that they had all been excused, told to wait in one of the nearby rooms until they were called for again.
Shalini dozed off in a chair next to the small table, resting her head on one of her arms. Naina leaned her head on Rajs shoulder tiredly as he put his own arm around her shoulders.
Will this be over soon? she asked him, Surely it has to end soon
Ill get you out of here as soon as possible, He promises her, Abhimanyu has already talked to Colonel Chandra, I think that we can prove our case. I wont let anything happen to you, Naina.
She looked up at him unblinkingly, Raj if we cant prove my innocence, if Im imprisoned then take our child and go somewhere else. She told him, Dont let our child grow up with the stigma of having a traitor for a mother.
Dont you dare even think that way, he told her, his voice shaking, Nothing will happen to you, do you hear me? Nothing can happen to you!
He hugged her to him, kissing the top of her head. He couldnt admit it in front of her, but even he was scared about what would happen. If they failed.
There was a knock at the door which startled Shalini who woke up, rubbing her eyes. Raj left his arm around Nainas shoulders, not caring who saw it.
The lead investigating officer walked in, his posture entirely different to what it had been before he left the interview room.
Captain Shekawat, Mrs Shekawat Im very sorry about all the trouble caused to you, youre free to go. He told them, and they both stared at him.
Free to go? Raj asked, You mean
The charges against Mrs Shekawat have been dropped, The officer informed them, The real spy has been caught!
Hearing the news, Naina half laughed and half cried, and Raj hugged her, unable to stop himself from crying a few tears of relief.
Thank goodness, Shalini exclaimed, Well if thats everything then well get back to the academy. After everything that youve been put through Naina, you need to have a proper rest and I want to give you a thorough check up.
They walked out of the room and headed towards the exit, still barely able to believe it.
Abhi must have done something Raj said, I dont know how but he must have trapped her somehow.
The other two nodded, Well find out soon enough, Shalini told him, Once were back at the academy.
"Or perhaps even sooner…" Raj mused as he watched a secured army jeep approaching from the distance.
Abhimanyu climbed out from the back but instead of looking triumphant and happy, his face was fallen. He was somebody that wore his heart on his sleeve and right now he looked as if he'd been defeated.
He looked… guilty.
Raj frowned, he had expected Abhimanyu to be overjoyed, his normal happy, laughing self again.
"What is it, Abhi?" he asked him, "Did something happen? Did she run away?"
"No…" Abhi told him, not quite meeting Raj's gaze. "No in fact she…" Suddenly he looked his friend directly in the face, "Raj this is going to be difficult, but you can't…"
He broke off, sounding frustrated, clenched his hand into a fist.
Raj just stared at him unable to work out exactly what was going on, when two guards climbed out of the back of the jeep before helping the other passenger out.
And when he saw her, Raj looked from her to Abhi and back again in confusion.
"Abhi, what is this??" he demanded of him, "What the hell is going on?"
But Abhimanyu was silent.
"Don't blame him, Bhaiyya…" Sherry spoke up, her face calm despite the handcuffs on her wrist. "Whatever has happened is my fault… Now I have to pay for my actions."
And as Raj, Naina and Shalini stared at her, unable to work out what was going on, she exchanged one last meaningful glance with Abhi, giving him a slight nod before she went inside.
And as Naina watched her go, all of her earlier happiness evaporated.
It was perfectly clear to her now exactly what the price of her freedom was.
******
Edited by gazal_sameer - 16 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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