Fanfic Abt Manthan - Back - Note (Pg 98) - Page 6

hey shafaq92 (sorry, dun know ur name)....

just wanted to say i loved your story.....love the plot and love the dialogues u make....but since u said in earlier pages that u wud like to know how u can improve...i have a suggestion for you (please don't mind, u dun have to listen to me at all)...well, why don't u try adding some little insignificant details so that we can actually imagine the story, for example, what clothes manthan and sneha are wearing...or...how their bedroom looks, what they r eating etc.
hope that made sense

luv gunia

Promo

Questions will be asked! Sneha has been left alone to answer them. Someone will come to her rescue! Who will be that someone? Who is the person on the door?

To find out keep reading Safar Pyar Ka!

whoa ur promo jus got me more eager to read it...who is at the door? who rescues her?

its great....plz continue....i like the jodiu of manthan and sneh...they look coot togetjher

thankoo for startin such a wondorful ff

great jobb. i cant wait to read more

good job
keep it up
ur story about manthan and sneha is more interesting than kyunki of these days
waiting for more

Your story is great 👏 Continue soon 😊

Part 6

Sneha slowly moved towards the door thinking about what she would say about her wrist which was severly bleeding. After opening the door she saw Tulsi standing there in a dull green coloured saari with Archita in her Jeans and blue tank top.

Tulsi: Itni dair kyun lagayi Sneha?

Sneha: Woh, dadi....

As Sneha began to answer Tulsi's question with a good enough excuse she had thought of she was interrupted by a shocked Tulsi.

Tulsi: Hai, Sneha tumhare haath ko kya hoa. Itna khoon behra hai.

Sneha: Are ye to dadi meri chooriya toot gayi thi. Kuch nahi hota abhi pati kar loongi.

Tulsi: Lekin tumhari chhoriyan tooti kaise?

Archita: Uff dadi, aap bhi na. Manthan bhaiyya ne kuch kiya hoga. Kyun bhabhi?

Sneha stood there embarrased. But nothing had happened so why was she pink. But then of course in such a situation anyone would have reacted in the same way.

Sneha: Are archita aisa kuch nahi Manthan to -

She was interrupted once again but this time by her husband's entrance. He walked out of the bathroom looking quite refreshed and cool.

Tulsi: Manthan ye tune kya kiya dekho to Sneha ka kitna khoon behra hai.

Manthan: (irritated) Maine kuch nahi kiya "Tulsi dadi".

Tulsi: Tu bhi na. Chalo ab mere paas time nahi hai. Main to ye bataane ayi thi ke aaj raat tum done ki reception hai. Saat bajey tak tayaar ho jaana.

Sneha: Ji dadi.

Tulsi: Samaj mein ayi tumhe Manthan. I don't want you going off somewhere now. Tumhare liye hi to hai ye party.

Manthan: Whatever I'll be there.

Saying this he walked off. Tulsi felt offended at first but then smiled and left the room looking for Archita who had ran away.

great, but make them longer please....