Hellooo everyoneeeeeee
So here I am here with the THIRD Update of this Week, for HW2.0.
Its about 9.5K words guys!!!!! Will be eager to know what you all think off it – as always!
Also, yes this is the First Draft. Please definitely ignore editing/common repition of words errors etc – since I have not proofread.
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CHAPTER 30.2 – THE SUN NEVER REALLY SETS
Same Day
Bristol, UK
1230 AM
Khushi's POV
Guys.
I am telling you all – like now toh I am like a Thousand Percent Sure that Dearest H20 has some sort of like innovative triggers in it. Why do I say so? Because trust me guys, I am not crazy saying this out loud – but sometimes na I get the most rocking ideas, when I am under the Spray of Dearest H20 in the Showerrrr!!!
And well well well – I know you all are wondering as to what New Rocking Idea I am talking about now. Acha thike – let me just tell you all straight away, without further ado because I am anyways like in a Super- rush to get on the video call with the Love of my Life.
Hmmmm, actually now that I am about to say it out loud, to be honest – it's not really like another idea or something. It's basically just another name that My Mind just came up with for Arnav, my Love – Ofcourseeee!!
And wait for It. This Time around – I am coining him as what?
Say what?
Say What?
HERCULES – OBVIOUSLY.
MY HERCULES.
Why Hercules?
ONE MAIN Reason Obviously. THAT being the fact, that Hercules is like all touted out for his bravery , courage and strength right? (And I can safely say that – in the last one month as I have seen my Love, hold onto his Mental Strength in the ways he has, kind off = the Inner Strength, bravery and courage of what Hercules would Have. It's beyond just Commendable. It's just like EPIC.PERIOD. He's freaking been through much in this last one month mentally with regards to the backlash the entire Men in Blue unit has been facing after the World Cup Loss. And because he is Skipper (and got out in that catch out in the semi-final, it freaking aches my Heart to report this bit), that the Public has been Freaking Downright Harsh and Demeaning and Hateful towards him in the Online World – in a continuous series of harsh online Trolls and Viral Meme's. Like They Just Won't Freaking Stop.
Just because Freedom of Speech Hai and one can Mask behind a Username – anything they will write Ya!! My heart breaks and aches for him so so so much, everytime there's this new sudden onslaught of Hate or Trolls for him. (and mind you – these people that are behind these Troll masks don't even know him like as a person that he is – all they know is the gaming persona and a perceived image that they like to think off as Him in their Heads, and to add to that they are totally forgetting the fact that He is not some PS gaming avatar .Behind his professional gaming avatar – is a real human being who has his own set of emotions and turmoils that they know absolutely nothing about.
LIKE JUST HOW CAN THEY BE SO MEAN AND DEMEANING?
They don't know anything about the hard work, grit and determination that he continues to pour into his game behind the scenes since years and still continues to do so. And all they want to do is Bash at Him, lash at Him, call him a Loser – just because there now exists a platform where they can – and the fact that My Love has held onto his gracious stature nonetheless only speaks volumes about his strength as a Character – indeed.
For guess what guys, when I actually speak to Arnav after, I am in a continuous Awe of his Courage and strength as he wades his head around it in a composed and a sorted manner, he obviously does get disappointed momentarily but he shifts his focus after a couple of minutes in such a calm demeanour that its beyond just freaking admirable and inspirational. And mind you guys, as in you all know me thike? You all know that I usually do not get like angry that easily – but just two days ago, on Independence day – ohhhh I was a Burning Volcano of Anger as Jess told me about that Hate Community page that was posted up on Facebook(she spotted it first since she is a lot more social media active than me) which was aiming to collect petitions to have him removed as Skipper.( Arnav was still sleeping at this point – because West Indies is behind my time by 5 hours right? and from India like about ten hours plus behind too)
And.
THAT.FREAKING.FLAMED.ME.UP.BEYOND.MEASURE.INDEED.
(So much so, that I had to yank my bat in the air 100 times, in order to channel out my frustration and anger. Like I mentioned couldn't freak just digest the fact that Just How can people continue to lash out so much hate collectively – Online. And after my crazy swinging the bat mode in the air, I was literally on the verge off Making a Full community page up on Facebook in Arnav's support under the Username (ASRBIGGESTFAN21)- on the instructions of dear mind with Jess's help when my dear heart pointed out to me - that all these trolls may not disturb Arnav as much, as the fact that I was getting so disturbed for him over this. Dear Heart was all like – hey K, you know he won't be able to take the fact that this is disturbing you this way.You Gotta be his Strength K, in this moment of time, like you have been all this while. You cannot have him get worked up emotionally getting worried for you now. He wouldn't want you to waste your energies in getting caught up in the middle of the online Drama when you have your tournament and practice to focus on.
And well – obviously – dear Heart won over dear mind in that moment off time, all for Arnav's sake and I just composed my way through it all and shut down my laptop scowling, but not before I freaking reported that page numerous times, obviously. But The Dammed thing – still hasn't been taken Down Ya. And while I was talking to Arnav about it eventually later – I obviously did give him a glimpse of how I yanked my bat in the air a 100 times in anger because my heart was all aching for him, and as to what my mind was asking me to do but my heart decided otherwise and will you all believe this he actually smiled and was all like – "Sparkle, all I want to do right now is Kiss You and hold you tight because you look uber adorable pacing in front of the phone right now all worked up."
And well that obviously made my heart gush with a lot of love for him, and we just obviously talked it through with each other and my focus was just about making sure that he is all better in his emotions through the initial disappointing turmoil – obviously.
And I cannot even begin to tell you the depth of the emotions that continue to consume me, for this Man – as even amidst everything he is facing on the professional front, he has been so very encouraging and supportive and empowering towards me throughout the various stages of my tournament until Now. He says –" Sparkle, my Love – I would never want any sourness from my side of the world to overshadow your highs or gaming journey ever, for you know I greatly respect your distinctive individuality. "
Now - You all tell me if this doesn't Speak Volumes of his Character as the Most Amazing Man Ever – than what does????
Like Even Tonight. He's just been in a different Happy Zone ever since he saw my performance in the game tonight. On that note, now that I am out of my gaming Daze (under which I couldn't really believe as to how I even pulled those Six Sixes off their Ace Spinners deliveries), I guess now I know How that actually Happened.
Realisation Freaking Strikes and helps me discover this Subconscious Trigger.
Oh All thanks to Dear H20.
Wait.
Wait.
I will tell you all what I feel triggered that bit. As in you all will know it because I am going to talk to Arnav my love about it na, obviously.
I am right on that thought when my Heart says now.Hey, K – can you hurry up now? as in I know you love your shower time and everything..but dude Arnav is surely waiting. Dear eyes chip in , smugly – K, Hurry UP Damm. We need to see Him.NOW.LIKE NOW.
I chuckle to myself now as I switch of the shower now in my little ensuite bathroom, and step out of the cabinet wrapping the towel around myself, and I hear my phone beep from the ledge of the sink area.
I reach out for it instantly – obviously.
It's My Love.
Him : Sparkle, I am done with freshening up.Are you too? Waiting for you my Love..come soon.
I quickly text.
Me : okkk yes...just give me three four minutes my love..just stepped out of the shower..
Him : oh did you now? means I messaged on the right time, because I get to tell you – that, it's obviously a sight that I wish to see myself. It's a bummer I am missing it though. Please Note - I am totally imagining you wrapped up in nothing but a towel.Are You dressed in only just a Towel, Sparkle?(winkssssssssss)
UFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
SUPER HEINZ MODE – ON.
Ha.Skipper Blue.
I can be Cheeky Too.
Me : i am so not answering that..thike?(sticky tongue emoticon)
Him : why Sparkle?
Me : you will toh kill me na one day..
Him : which means that my Imagination is right. You are only dressed in a Towel. Godammit Me. I think it's about time I take the matter off inventing that bloody teleportal into my own hands.
Me : Arnav...please yaaaa...don't get into your teasing mode abhi na....i am all like blushing into Super Heinz Mode already...ok that's it.Not texting back abhi. Let me get ready na so that we can connect soon
Him : okiess..am Waiting Sparkle...
Me : three minutes..only pakka se..
Him : make that two minutes will you please?
Me : ok I will make that two minutes my love provided you let me off the text na and not reply.
When I do not get a reply in the next 5 seconds, I know he's probably looking up at the clock and timing it to two minutes, which means I need to get ready now at the speed of light.
I do.
Obviously.
About 90 seconds later, I rush out the bath all dressed in my night suit and plonk onto my bed on my stomach and video call my Love.
He picks up in a second and just as his grinning face fills up my screen, I hear My Eyes say to me.K,we swear to Gods – everything just lit up for us almost as if its Diwali already.
BINGO THAT DEAR EYES.
I bite back my grin now as I say smiling – " okk see..so I made it to the video screen in less than 100 seconds my love...do I get a bonus??"
Arnav grins happily (he's plonked up on his hotels bed, all relaxed into the headrest) – "oh you surely do get a little bonus Sparkle..you'd get a little bonus even if you were like two seconds earlier..you know that don't you??"
I wink at him happily – " I know I know..acha listen na even though you are like so biased when it comes to me, I am going to be all fair and square thike..i think I should not get this bonus for being 20 seconds early..because it does get cancelled against those couple of minutes I made you wait anyway...on that note listen that was also not my fault thike? It was yours only..."
He chuckles now and asks raising his eyebrow at me mischievously – "really?? now how was that my fault, Sparkle??"
I stick my tongue back at him playfully as I say – "because you held me up on text obviously just when I .."and I pause as I say fanning my cheeks – " aheemmmm..okk..you get what I mean don't make me say it out loud na..."
Arnav chuckles happily – " just when will you stop driving me nuts haan??"
I wink at him happily – " okk I have an easy answer to that...that would be just about never. Period.."
We share a warm laugh and I say a second later – " acha listen, another reason as to why this little delay is anyway your fault is also, because it was right under the shower I had another eureka moment, which led me to come up with one more name for you, my love.."
He asks, intrigued – grinning. "Really?? one more name – Sparkle??"
I nod.
I LOVE HIS GRIN.
GOD.
PLEASEEE PLEASEEE CONTINUE TO BLESS MY HERCULES WITH ALL THE STRNEGTH IN THE WORLD SO THAT HE CAN KEEP SMILING LIKE THIS ALWAYS.
NO MATTER WHAT.
He asks now, his eyes lighting up in eagerness – " ok tell me then, what are you waiting for...what's my new name???"
My smile turns all heartfelt as I touch the screen of my Phone all lovingly, as our eyes lock – " Hercules...My Hercules...you know why don't you?? it's totally because I am totally in awe off your courage and strength my love..like you'v been so so so so strong through all that's been happening..and also yes because , Michael Bolton traditionally also sang the song Go the Distance for Disney's Hercules..na? so it just suits perfectly na...My Hercules..you are my hero...and remember how there this line in go the distance which says that a hero's strength his measured by his heart? So I can safely say that you are totally like even more Stronger than Hercules actually.. ". I finish with a playful wink
Arnav's eyes swim with intense emotions as he says now – " thank you so much for that Sparkle...but well to be honest you know I wouldn't have been able to get through all of this and let go of my fears in such a sorted and a composed manner – if it wasn't for You all.Also You'v been my Light...I know I have said this to you before and I will say it again, no matter how much I thank you for holding my hand tighter the way you have been, it shall not be enough..it shall never be enough my love.."
My eyes well up in emotion obviously as I say now, wiping the tear outta the corner of my eye – " oh pleaseee now don't you make me all emotional, with all this thank you business thike????"
He smiles now and says – " I just wanted to express my gratitude out once more my love...iv left everyone back home a text back on whatsapp too..and im going to voice it out to the team at dinner too...also tell me something you don't think your parents will freak out seeing a thank you message from me first thing in the morning right? I know Rahul surely won't freak out.."
I ask smiling, my heart all gushing with emotion – "you messaged a thanks to Mom and dad too??"
He nods smiling – " obviously Sparkle...they'v only been so encouraging and supportive not just to me but Nisha aunty has been there for Mum in support and Sagar uncle for Dad when they'v observed the two of them being disturbed in concern over me, and not only that Sagar uncle has only been encouraging towards me on texts too..i did tell you that he sends me these positive motivational voice notes every time he spots something rash up online against me or the unit..so why must I not thank them too????"
I nod at him as I say smiling – " well don't worry..they won't freak out at seeing a thank you from you first thing in the morning thike??" and I pout a little, sulking now as I say rolling my eyes – " you know sometimes my mind is all like – K...lets freaking just call Mark Zuckerburg and have that dammed page removed, I hate the freaking fact that Facebooks support tickets get processed so slowly...like what the hell ya...reported that page a zillion times already but its still up there all live...why does Hate have to have this infinite way of multiplication love?"
Arnav chuckles at that as he says brushing his hands through his hair – " godaamit you I wouldn't even be able to answer you if I had an answer to that though all because I think I kind off zoned out into you the minute you started to pout sulkingly. Just why do you have to be this adorable even while sulking, Sparkle..."
I shrug at him as I say rolling my eyes – " ohoooo..uff ya...you na.."
Arnav says now grinning as he sits up – " okkk listen to me Sparkle, this is not the time that I want to talk about any of that nonsense alright? None of that is worth spoiling, my this moment with you.."
I ask puzzled – " what moment??and Arnav I know that look on your face...you are up to something aren't you???"
He nods happily and I see him get up off the bed immediately and to my surprise I see him shove a Champagne bottle in front of the screen now as he says winking at me , happily – " we need to Celebrate, your epic performance tonight Sparkle, my little hit girl damm you dammit.. I am still in awe of how you smashed your freaking six sixes, you have no idea how many times I have actually watched the video, and I am surely going to watch it a lot of times more, before I go to sleep tonight...so say what? Sparkle?are you ready? I'v been dying to pop up this damm bottle, although yes I did pop up a couple of champagne bottles imaginarily in glee already when I was hearing Rohan, Ravi and Cap talk about your game..."
Wait.
What?
I keep my hands to my mouth in Happiness and emotion obviously. Is he serious about this? Does he really want to pop up a Champagne bottle right now on the Video Call???????
My Heart and Mind say in a collective unsion – Ofcourse he is serious, K. Also please note this just speaks volumes about how much He loves You..truly ..madly..deeply..
I know.
I ask now in a daze – " you really want to do this kya??"
He nods happily, getting the bottle all ready to be opened – " ofcourse dammit sparkle, it isn't everyday that we see Six Sixes in a row, ten in an innings and 110 not out.."
I chuckle as I admit now happily – " acha know what? now that I am out of my gaming daze na I am completely aware as to how I was triggered to fire those six sixes Arnav.."
He asks, grinning – " ok what was the trigger?? Wasn't it just the thought of the chase?"
I admit honestly – "not really...I guess it had more to do with the fact that I was totally subconsciously thinking those deliveries to be an over of all those freaking online trollers and haters that have been having a go against you and the men in blue unit..."and my eyes lock with his intently as I go on sincerely – " you do know I have been dying to give it back to them na but then I also know that it will hurt you if I waste my energy on it up online...so I guess this was a way to channelise that frustration out...I obviously don't approve off what they are doing na, no matter what "and I pause now taking a deep breath as I say, feeling my heart beam in pride– " but only if they knew that they are doing all of this with the intent to play with My Hercules head and they are failing at it miserably. Because I am right here to make sure that none of their negative toxic energy can have its effect on my Love..and not just that...they don't know na..that My Hercules is freaking going to Go that Distance no matter what they say..."
Arnav smiles now as he says, his eyes all welling up in emotion – " I love you, Sparkle...I love you so godammit much.."
" I love you too...so much too..so so so much.."
We both nod happily at each other in acknowledgement as he gestures to ask if he can pop open the Bottle now and I nod happily and he says now grinning as he Pops it Open– " to My Sparkle, going that distance.."
I correct him on that immediately, grinning happily – " To us both. Going that Distance..."
He nods and he smiles and we both say in collective unsion, with our eyes locked – " To Us Both..Going that distance...indeed...we know it isn't going to be all easy, but it's going to be worth it nonetheless..." and I am, fighting back happy tears as I watch him pour out the champagne into two glasses now grinning and he holds both in his hands(one on my behalf) and toasts them imaginarily and says – " a toast to our evergreen love for cricket, Sparkle.."
I wipe a happy tear outta the corner of my eye as I say, sure that the emotion was going to choke me in the throat – " a toast to our evergreen love for Cricket, Skipper Blue.." and he grins and winks at me and takes a sip from both the glasses one by one and says grinning – " it's such a pity that Swiggy hasn't invented some sort off a inter-phone-screens – delivery option yet, Sparkle, so I am going to have a little of both these glasses, on your behalf too as I now need to begin telling you as to how much Rohan, Ravi and Cap are actually impressed with your game..."and he settles back into bed happily.
I ask in a daze, now – " wait what?? did they actually like say that??? are you kidding me??????????
Arnav looks at me amused as he says – " oh you know I would never kid about that bit...my love...I would never kid about the appreciations revolving around your game.."
OK.
GUYS.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.
I MEAN – WHAT DID ROHAN SIR, RAVI AND CAP SAY AS THEY SAW ME PLAY?
I gesture to Arnav that I need to drink up some water to even digest this bit, which makes him bite back his happy laugh and I pick on my water of bottle to sip from the table in my studio room as I sit back up on bed too, sipping it and I ask again to just reconfirm – " like this happened for real?? As in love you know I am like such a huge fan of their games..know what? my insides are in a collective daze now..all silent in anticipation...obviously.."
Arnav chuckles now as he takes another sip of the champagne happily – " oh yes Real* infinity indeed...your pakka se wala real Sparkle...hear this..Cap said, he wants to wicket keep behind you to just observe your footwork for it looked so on point to him on screen.."
WAIT.
WHAT????????????????
CAPTAIN DEV SAID THAT?????????
OK THIS IS FREAKING HUGE FOR ME TO EVEN HEAR THIS.
I pick up my one hand to the side as I gesture Arnav to keep going on and I keep gulping down the water side by side now and he says grinning – " can't even begin to tell you how impressed Rohan was with your sixes..he also says that the word little hit girl was apt for you indeed...and Ravi is way too eager to bowl to you in the nets now, he literally asked Rohan and me if we could talk to the BCCI once we were back in India and you all were too the full unit if we could have them arrange like a common nets session...for he is like I am sure she's going to take on my deliveries for some massive sixes too...and he wants to get you out obviously.."
OK GUYS.
I HAVE FINISHED GULPING DOWN THIS ENTIRE BOTTLE OF DEAR H20 IN SHEER DAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING.
And I ask now in a continued Daze still – " I am hearing all of this for real?????? Like feels like a dream obviously.."
Arnav bites back his chuckle now and he says happily – " it isn't a love dream..its real...it's your game that's been so freaking amazing..why do you think Ravi was all eager to have your video go up viral online...and oh yes once I told them about Rahul + Anjali..they obviously understood.."
I ask, grinning – " oh yes..how did that go?? And also the talk with Cap?? how was that??"
Arnav grins and says now – " ok yes..gotta fill you in on all of that...and then you gotta tell me all about you had to talk about ok?"
I nod happily and he says biting back his grin – " also I think its safe that I should start with this Love – Cap totally figured out on his own accord that you are my secretive someone..."
I gape at him in shock and surprise again , sure that my eyes almost popped out of my sockets – " whaaatttttttttttt???? He figured????"
Arnav nods – " oh yes he totally did and he asked me so upfront that I just had to nod back him in acknowledgement love for it felt like if I denied it be disrespecting my emotions for you...but don't you worry he's totally going to keep our secret...he understands obviously..so yup now he knows..k?"
I say immediately in a continued daze – " yes okayyyy love as in as much as I know about Cap from you..i know you trust him greatly so I guess deep down it does feel like our secrets going to be safe with him for sure.." and I gesture to him to begin to tell me about it all now and he nods and starts to talk about it all and I continue to listen.
GUYS.
I LOVE THE WAY – THAT WE SPEND OUR HOURS TALKING – OBVIOUSLY.
LOVE IT* INFINTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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KHUSHI POV CONTINUES
About forty minutes later, as Arnav's filled me on everything and his talk with Cap and I have filled him over everything that happened at my end with the team after our ecstatic win tonight, talk Mom, dad, Bhai, on the way back to the accommodation. And then the talk with Jess and Harpreet di after and then one on one with Sheena di and Haley as they were hanging by my room, after for a bit and we'v also discussed our cricketing preparations in line for our next games(his next test and my next t20 game) – I ask now , flipping my hand through my hair – " its 830pm for you na love...what time do you have to join everyone for dinner..you aren't getting late na??"
Arnav smiles – " at around 9pm Sparkle..no am not getting late..are you sleepy much? Its 130 am for you though.. You did just have a super intense game love..wana sleep?"
I say smiling as I lie down in bed sideways, adjusting my head on pillow and my duvet on me half way – " well, not really...I mean I will sleep when you leave for dinner na..do want to spend the next thirty minutes with you...also like i told you tomorrow nets session only around 11 am na..so will get up a little later by a couple of hours also.."
Arnav grins – " and it is great that you have those three days off after your game on the 20th...do take a day off then Sparkle..you do need to give the body some rest too.."
I nod as I say, grinning doing a little happy fist pump in the air – " oh yes...that's the plan..one of the days in those days is totally going to be a chilling day off love...and guess what just as my luck would have it, it might just be the 22nd.."
Arnav grins happily – " which would be great Sparkle for it's your..."and he pauses and he says frowning – " dammit..." and he brushes his hands through his hair frowning all of a sudden and I instantly know what this is about, for we'v had this talk like a hundred times already and I say now, with a comforting smile – " oh c'mon Arnav...don't go about thinking that right now na baba..kaunsa you are far off...you are with me only na always.."
Guys.
He is frowning – because it's my 21st Bday on the 22nd August Na. And he is obviously bummed that he is halfway across the world from me right now – Physically.
He sighs – " yes, but its your 21st bday...you are turning 21..and I am obviously bummed that I won't be able to see you, or kiss you, or feel you in my arms for that matter and hold you close.."
I roll my eyes at him playfully sitting back up against the wall – " well technically SkipperBlue you will see me na...like virtually..you will..so please just wipe that frown off your forhead na..or you want me to start frowning now??"
He relaxes his frown a little and he says biting back his dejected sigh – " all right Sparkle...I will wipe my frown off..but know what? I am going to make sure that I am going to be the first one to wish you.."
I grin to that as I say, touching the phone screen lovingly again – " and I will make sure that I hear my b'day wish from you first, my love like pakka seeeeeeeeeeee........."
He says now – " well it is a good thing that you will be in Surrey on the 21st, which means that you will surely get to meet up with Jess and Harpreet on the big day.."
I grin happily – "oh yes love I am like so looking forward to that..becuase we do have our first one on one head on game against the Surrey Stars on the 24th na..so it will be so good just getting to catch up with them too..."
Arnav nods and smiles – " and well I am happy for Jess...she's really happy with Vikram isn't she??"
Oh yes everyone – a quick note on this. Vikram drove down to Surrey when he arrived in London on the 10th of August and asked Jess out formally like to be with him. She obviously said a yes – to Dating Him – finally too. Both Vikram and Hridhaan are in London since then – busy with their Polo matches for the Guardian Polo Club. I haven't really spoken to them both like on like one on one much..just a couple of times here and there through Jess or Shivi.( Both Jess and me are in constant touch with Shivi.She's intensely taking on her cricket traning back in Jaipur in her early morning and afterschool hours.)
I nod happily – " oh yes Jess is..so so happy...you should just see her..won't stop grinning..."and I roll my eyes at him playfully as I say – " just like how I won't stop grinning because of you.." and right then it strikes me that Jess did mention this to me on the call a while ago and this bit totally slipped my mind whilst I was filling Arnav in on the rest and I say now – " acha listen na..i just remembered that whilst I was talking to Jess a while ago na she did say something like that Vikram and Hridhaan might just come to Surrey on the 21st too because by chance they have the 21 and 22 off too from their Polo matches and London is just one hour away na..and Vikram obviously wants to catch up with Jess, so chances are that I will be meeting them both as well as in Vikram and Hridhaan both thike..??"
Arnav nods with a heartfelt smile, biting back his chuckle – " thike Sparkle..,"and I ask now – " why? Why are you biting back your chuckle with this uber amused expression up your face now??"
He chuckles – " because the hint of that underlying concerned tone in your voice every time you mention Hridhaan to me or when you tell me every detail about what you spoke to him through Shivi, is uber adorable to my ears obviously love...I told you...him being around you doesn't really bother me anymore, Sparkle, because I trust you...but yes as in like I mentioned I am obviously generally jealous of anyone who gets to spend more time with you, around you...but that's all that it is.."and he winks mischeviously now –" on that note, I think at the moment I think I really am very jealous of Sheena too, since with Jess playing with another team this time around, its Sheena and you who are constantly around with each other, majority of the time.."
I chuckle – " oh really? are you now??"
He winks – " you know I am.."
I say, sincerely now – " but no seriously ya Arnav..i just always want you to be like comfortable na with Hridhaan's situation..so that's why I just keep telling you all about it transparently.."
He grins – " I know Sparkle.."
And I wink at him playfully as I say, patting my finger on my cheek playfully – " on that note..i do think I am like extremely jealous of the entire men in blue unit too yaa...like they get to be with you all the time.."
We share a warm laugh now and all of a sudden a thought does strike me again that I do want to tell Arnav about and right then even before I can open my mouth to say it out loud, I hear Arnav ask – " what's the conflicting thought that crossed your mind Sparkle? I know this look obviously..you want to say something right??"
I nod at him.
"Go on then Sparkle..please talk it out...."
I sigh as I adjust my head back into my pillow snuggly flipping my hair to the side, and I say softly, locking my eyes with his - "so like you guessed...the thought that I just had is obviously like a tad bit conflicting in nature.."
He says softy encouraging me to go on with a warm smile – " and you know I want to know all your thoughts Sparkle..be it sorted or conflicting. Or the low ones.."
I smile at that as I say – " yup..i know..just like you know I want to know all your range of thoughts always too, my love.."
He nods sincerely and gestures me with his warm and sincere eyes to go on.
My Mind and Heart say in unsion. Oh, Cmon K. Just hurry up and talk this bit out to Arnav. You know we don't like conflicting thoughts anyway. Talking it out with Arnav, always helps us see the light through the conflict faster.
Ok Then.
So here it Goes.
I say now, honestly taking a deep breathe – "so there's also another reason as to why I didn't want Ravi or Rohan sir to ask the rest of the men in blue unit to like repost my video love..like another tiny miny conflicting reason apart from the rest initial ones...this is also the same reason as to how I am feeling a little edgy over Mira di posting up my video on her Insta.."
He gives me a knowing look as he asks softly, continuing to keep his gaze locked with mine – " and what reason is that Sparkle..?"
Dear Mind and Heart notice in unison as they point this out to me collectively in unison again. Please note K, the look on his face tells us that he already knows, what this is about. He's perceived this surely.
I know, I feel so too now as I am just looking into his eyes silently for a bit. I am an open book in front of him afterall and he already has a PHD in Reading me and Understanding my unsaid.
My Heart and Mind.Bingo That, K. Lets formally issue him that PHD degree later. Get talking now.
And before I can say anything, he asks sincerely – "Sparkle, you have this conflicting thought because as much as there is a very strong part of you that does want more spotlight and recognition for women's cricket in India, somewhere deep down, you feel a little edgy about the spotlight coming onto just your game personally too...right??"
I sigh and I smile at the same time and I also Nod, Silently.
My Heart and Mind smile all happily. See K, we were all collectively right. We knew that he Knew. Even before we could say it. Ok. Let's just give him that PHD already. Onslaught of Extreme Emotion – Alert!!
I say now, softly looking away from his eyes for a second sideways, getting all emotional – " I knew you knew it...even before I could say it to you.."and I look back at him and I say, locking my gaze with his again and I smile – " dear mind and heart are totally in the mood to give you a Stamped PHD by from its Institutions you know since you ace the subject of reading me so well...my love.."
Arnav chuckles at that happily as he says – " really? tell them that I shall await my PHD degree with bated breath..and on that note, I do need to give one to you as well.."
I nod happily as I say – " And I shall await mine, with bated breathe too.."
He says now, softly encouraging me to go on – " ok...talk to me..go on..tell me what's on your mind..let's see through your conflicting thought.."
I say honestly – " so like you guessed Arnav..sometimes I do feel that even though i am well aware that the field I am in as in the job that I am doing which I so greatly love..is like something out there in the public, to the open eye...and as much as deep down I do hope for more recognition for women's cricket specially back in India, somewhere I also feel that...to have that spotlight on me and my game like alag se, apart from the teams collctive performance.i don't know if I am ready...like sometimes I feel maybe I am..and sometimes I just feel maybe I am not...because I know once this spotlight falls..it's also going to bring so much kit kit and unnecessary drama along with it na...as in it comes with a cost to it right, a cost of my peace and privacy maybe..toh sometimes I just feel maybe..its better if the spotlight doesn't come on just me..altogether...and at the same time I also know that with public recognition this kit kit drama is like a full on package deal...and I don't know if I am ready to embrace this package on a personal level as in like I told you...sometimes I feel I am ready and sometimes I just feel like I am not..sometimes I feel like I want it to happen and sometimes not" and I bury my face in my pillow as I say – " ughhhh..now you see the conflict..obviously.."
His loving and encouraging voice comes through – " Sparkle,you mean the kit kit and the unnecessary bit where as...people will hail you left right and centre as long as you are performing well..and the minute you have a low zone or are in a gaming plateau for a while or when a major loss comes into a picture..all they will do is backlash.."
I nod as I whisper with my head dipped in my pillow still – " yes backlash...and not just that, they will say mean things, harsh things, hateful demeaning things about me and my game...without even knowing me for who I am...this does happen when the spotlight comes na..just look at what they are doing to you too now...mujhe pata nai if I am ready...you know I am still so so so emotional about my game and I am working on getting more balanced with that, but I fear, what if I can't take this other side off the spotlight bit..and that impacts my game then?? You know how much my game matters to me na love...it's what drives me..it's my dream.."
I hear his soft voice fall in my ears now – "Sparkle...look at me..will you pleaseee???"
I do.
I pull my head up from my pillow and look into his eye. His Loving sincere eyes, and he says softly – " Sparkle,I know you love me...and you do so deeply very very deeply, and seeing what all has been happening with me and our unit in the last month and more so you'v been seeing me cope up through the lows, so its natural for you to feel affected about this bit of it my love...but no...you cannot let my low's define things for you...you just can't..for that would be like you are being unfair to your very own individuality and I will not have it in me to see you do that to yourself ever..i love you more than anything in the world dammit...and I know whilst its natural for you to feel affected because of things happening with me professionally...it will still be very unfair if you chose to let my lows define things and set off apprehsions for you..."
Emotional tears leave my eyes as I say now, my heart completed tsunamied with emotion – " I love you..."
He smiles warmly, his adams apple is lumping with emotion too as he says hoarsely – " I love you too...Sparkle..wipe those tears off please??"
I do and he says with an heartfelt smile now - "Sparkle, you are still so young...your gaming journey has only just begun...I would always want you to embrace your High's happily...your game deserves it...you deserve the freaking spotlight...do not be afraid of the other side of it..if it gets overwhelming at those time, just mute the godammit other side of it in your head until you feel you are ready to face it head on..you know it's what I still do at times..right? and like I always say.. "
I nod now as I say filling up his sentence, feeling a little better about this conflicting thought already – " the spotlight doesn't define us anyway..our self-belief does..."
He smiles now – "exactly.."
I say now, with a little smile – " I have obviously seen and learnt from you that this spotlight should never ever be like that defining factor of what we feel as a player within. That locus of controlled thought and self-belief has got to be internal..it's our self-belief about ourselves and our love for the game , the hard work, grit and determination that we pour towards our dreams is what truly matters in the long run"
He nods , grinning – " indeed..those bit's are the only things that truly matter in the long run..."and he pauses and says all calmly still grinning – " and also Sparkle, dadi hamesha mujhe kehti hai ki waise bhi - yeh duniya ka Dastoor hai beta ki sab chadhte hue suraj ko hi namaskar kartein hai, par woh duniya ka dastoor hai tumhara nahi aur iss baat ko duniya ki duniyadari samajhna ,apni problem kabhi nahi.." (English translation : and also Sparkle, Dadi always tells me that it's the worlds tradition to always hail the rising sun, but at the same time let that tradition define the world and not yourself..and let that be the ways of their worldly traditions but never consider it to be your problem )
I nod smilingly - taking that in obviously and I say grinning – " dadi yaaa..i love her.."
And he says now continuously grinning – " so do i..and guess what and I am so glad that you brought this conflicting thought bit up Sparkle..for as I just voiced Dadi's thought out to you, I literally realised myself as to what underlying hint she had in her words that she wanted me to probably just absorb in everytime with her mysterious smile as she'd say these empowering words to me these days..she literally just said this to be earlier today as well..as I spoke to her after talking to Mom, Dad , Akash and Anjali on the video call.."
I ask now, curious - my grin matching his. His grin is obviously way too infectious for me.Always. – " what what?? you are totally grinning and really happy with what you'v realised obviously..tell me na.."
He says now winking at me – " duniya ka kya hai sparkle..jo karna hai karti rahe...yeh toh suraj ko samajhna haina ki uska dhalna bhi toh zaroori hai..taaki woh agle din phir se ug sake...dhalte hue suraj ki importance kabhi bhi kam nai hui na ho sakti hai..kyunkii suraj sham ko dhalega tabhi toh subah ugega.."(Eng Trans : what's with these worldly traditions Sparkle, they can follow what they want , iv realised that it is totally up to the Sun to know and realise and embrace this fact that it's important for it to descend into setting so that it can rise again the next day. Nothing can ever take away the importance of a setting sun, for only if it sets in the evening will it rise again when the morning comes.)
I repeat his same words back to him happily and we both nod in an instant understanding and comfort and I say after that – " oh what an epic realisation this is Skipper Blue...I am totally calling you My Hercules Version Wise...now.." and we share a warm laugh now and I say – " and actually this makes perfect sense as in yes this literally does resonate once again with your belief of the lows being a win for us nonetheless..."
He nods grinning – " exactly...you know all of this has helped me come to terms with letting go of my fears right love?? and not just that..see you always say that your lows have made you strong too..as in remember when you used to be in the middle of bullying scenes you used to feel low and yet you always told me that I grew stronger out of those experiences Skipper Blue..so technically that ended up being a win nonetheless right?"
I nod happily at him and right then a thought strikes me.
Dear Mind.Thou are brilliant to have this Strike me right very now.Thank you.Thank You. Thank You.
My Mind Grins. Oh you are most welcome K.
I say now grinning at Arnav – " also love..technically if you see..the sun's never really setting anyway na...as in...it also sets in one side of the world so that it can rise in another part of the world..so technically somewhere out there in the world the sun is always risen..we may not be able to see with our own eyes because of differences in geographical boundaries..but that does not take away the true fact that it's really just out there risen somewhere lighting up some corner of the world.. and well I wasn't that great at geography love but as far as I remember they do say that the moon shines, because its surface reflects the lights from the sun...so basically its just that the sun never really actually Sets..it's just our common human perception that it goes down..."
Arnav grins happily – " Bingo that my love...the sun never really sets at all..technically.."
I grin and nod – "so basically at the end of the day it all comes down to that na..we just need to keep thinking and reminding ourselves that that we are like our own suns too, even when we are experiencing a low while setting at some side of the world..technically we are only rising in another way..in our inner journeys which is only going to make us stronger within nonetheless...."
Arnav grins and winks at me all happily – "exactly Sparkle..so this is exactly where I pause to ask you..if you feel better now through your conflicted thought??"
I nod at him happily – " I surely do...I surely surely do..."and I pout at him scrunching up my nose the next second as another thought strikes – " but this thought na has messed up with the beautiful vision of sunsets for me ya love as in now when I will be admiring the sun going down..i will think..it's not really happenening for real.."and I pause as I say to myself as another thought comes after– " oh no no no K, you just tell yourself then the sun is setting all beautifully in this part of the world where you are so that it can culminate into another beautiful sunrise somewhere else...which will make you admire the beauty of both the sunrise and the sunset equally..and remind yourself that the moon shines out in the dark because of the sun too in the first place..so when you see the moon..you are technically also just seeing a hidden masked version of the sun anyway..that way you can happily gaze at the moonlight too..."
Arnav chuckles to that as he says – " godaamit you Sparkle..you gotta stop being this adorable okay??? I could eat you up.."
I chuckle at that obviously as I say, sticking out my tongue to him – " hahaha...as if..acha you better tell about this to dadi thike tomorrow??"
Arnav grins happily – " ofcourse I will..and I am sure her smile will not be that mysterious anymore...she'll finally look at me with the look of – ahhh my pota(grandson) got it.."
We both share a warm laugh again for a couple of seconds and we continue to chatter about our siblings and families for about ten minutes or so and as Arnav sees me yawning right then he says – "Sparkle, get some sleep now...you need to rest as well it's really late for you.."
I do feel my dear eyes heavying in sleep a little now and I say fighting another yawn – " acha haan...I will crash in a couple of minutes surely..whats your plan love? after dinner??"
Arnav smiles – " just going to chill around with the boys...that's all love..ill obviously keep leaving you texts as well until I sleep.."
I grin – " yipeee..so that I can read them first thing in the morning..." and I fight another yawn.
Arnav says sincerely – " ok Sparkle..you really need to sleep now...alright?? Also just checking ..hope you aren't really worried about the spotlight bit anymore my love... for something in my gut intuition tells me..that when you wake up tomorrow, you might just find a some bit of the spotlight falling on you on its own accord organically...I mean it isn't everyday that a cricketer fires six sixes in a row and a collective of 10 in an innings...and Ravi and Mira have already posted this up and they do have a substantial number of followers on their Insta..so yeah..my little hit girl...you might just have a lot of people back in India refer to you as just that from tomorrow on ..."
I say with a nervous yet relaxed smile, as I say honestly – " thank you so much love and to be honest am not really that worried anymore love..i mean...jo hoga na dekha jayega...khushi se...pun intended, ab apne Mr.Hercules ki partner hun mai..itna toh maine aapse sikh hi liya hai " I finish with a playful wink.(Eng Trans : will see and face whatever happens with Happiness. Now I am Mr.Hercules partner afterall, I have learnt this from you only.)
He grins and winks – " that's the spirit my love...jo hoga dekha jayega..main hun na tumhare saath.."( that's the spirit Sparkle, we will see whatever happens, you don't worry, I am right here with you)
I say now sincerely, locking my eyes with his , sure that he could spot the emotions in them - "I do feel like all I need is your hand in mine, and I can just face just about anything in this world Love..the way you understand me..see right through me..love me, empower me..say the exact soothing words to me that I know I need to hear in the moments of conflict..it obviously moves me in a way I cannot really word.."
Arnav smiles all warmly, emotions shining in his eyes too – " ok...so I think you just copied my lines for you on that love...because that's what I keep saying to you...but guess what I will let you copy them, provided you give me a stock of minmum of 110 kisses to redeem after..when we meet.."
I chuckle as I ask – "acha? 110 kisses??yeh kya number hua?"
He nods winking at me mischeviously – " yes because that was what was your not out score tonight right,Sparkle?
I wink at him – " acha ok...that way...then in that case..210 chalega? since that was the score we had to chase down today??"
He chuckles happily – " that would be an icing on the cake obviously Sparkle...a toast to your brilliant game tonight one more time.." and he raises the two half glass of Champagne to me again and takes sips from those two again and I acknowledge the same back to him by sipping on my water and I say now fighting another one of my yawns – " acha na baba..if you want me to sleep you know you need to hang up first na.."
He chuckle's – " ok then..Sparkle..why don't you first snuggle back in your duvet so that I actually feel like I have tucked you into bed, towards a nice peaceful slumber myself..."
I obviously do just that Immediately and I send him a flying kiss now as I say softly – " I love you....have a good time with everyone at dinner and after...until we text /call/videocall again, my love.."
Arnav pretends to catch my flying kiss all grinning and he places it over his lips mischeviously – "until we text/call/videocall again, my love.." and I think he's spotted my eyes drooping now and he says – " ok...im hanging up now, Sparkle.."
I nod.
He hangs up first and I put my phone aside on the table next to me and snuggle back into my duvet and Close My Eyes as I feel a peaceful content smile curve my Lips on it's own accord.
Yup.
Guys.
Even though I had no clue as to what the Morning was going to bring to me, in terms of the Spotlight bit – it does feel like I am in a better headspace to just deal with it – anyway.
It really is True – that all I needed was My Hercules's hand in mind and I could freaking – GO DOWN ANY DAMM DISTANCE IN THE WORLD – for sure.
My Mind and Heart in Collective Unsion.Bingo That,K.
And as I feel myself now heading down into a peaceful slumber, I do have this last affirming thought coming into my head – Just like I am so sure that all I need is Arnav's hand in mine and I'd be okay in facing any thing...I am also a thousand times Sure that this time around, when these little dark clouds that have surrounded its way around My Love – disappear – My Hercules is going to come Rising and Shining Through like those Mightest and Brightest Rays of The Sun – that come out to spread its Light – after a raining cloudy day or a dark night.For its clouds and nights that have temporary timelines technically.( A cloud condenses or evaporates and a night eventually turns into a Day too)
AND IT'S THE SUN THAT'S REALLY – EVERGREEN AND EVERLASTING IN WHICHEVER FORM – NONTHELESS.
FOR.
IT'S.THE.SUN.THAT.NEVER.REALLY.ACTUALLY.SETS.
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TADAAAAA!!!!!
How was the Update Guysssss?? (wink winkkkkk.....) What did you all think of the title for the Chapter????????? I really really wanted to write this Sun Never Really Sets Bit Out in this Update since its something I truly believe in – in My Heart.Would be eager to know all your thoughts on the same.
Next Update : Shall now be on Monday Evening.
Happyyy Weekend – Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also Super Important – Please note, there shall be only Two Updates next week on Monday and Wednesday and after which I am taking like a Weeks(Seven Days) Off in between 12th – 18th November – and will resume after the festivities – in the usual three Updates in a Week – schedule.
Thanks, guys, for all the Love and Support.
Much Love Guys.
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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