~*Smile Again*~Chapters 17 & 18~Pg 15~ - Page 9

I was sitting on my bed. And Erica burst into my room. I knew this would happen. So that's why I had prepared myself for the fight. Or the surrender, whichever you prefer. I grabbed the long sword from under my bed, and her eyes went wide.

"Cass, what are you doing?" she asked, now careful

"What I failed to do once," and with that, she knew exactly what I meant. I drew the sword from its case and looked at it. It was pretty, really. I didn't know exactly where I got it, but it had been under my bed for as long as I can remember. I looked out the window for a second and saw Walker standing on our lawn. Then suddenly the sprinklers turned on and he started to get wet, but he didn't move an inch. He just stared at me. Then a black jeep drove up the street and parked in front of our house. Ian and Emily got out of the car. They had each other's arm around each other. They came on our lawn and stood next to Walker without a word. I looked back at Erica and she was looking at my eyes that could've broken anyone's heart. I looked down and saw a tiny hole there in my chest. Where my heart should've been. I panicked. I turned my head outside. There stood, Mrs.Pratt, my parents, Michaela alongside Walker and Ian. Everybody was outside. What was going on? Then I looked back at Erica and she had started crying. I didn't know why. Then I plunged the sword into my stomach. The pain was brief but excruciating and I saw a dark cloud in the sky. I looked at Erica and she was screaming, but she didn't move an inch. She couldn't help me. I looked outside and the people on our lawn were cheering. They had smiles on their faces. All the while the sprinklers were on and everybody was getting soaked to the bone. Only, now the pain started to settle. It was turning to be unbearable. I couldn't pull the sword back out. Blood was oozing out from the wound and my carpet was getting spoiled. I don't know why, but that bothered me so much. I collapsed on the floor. In such a moment, that exact moment, I realized that I was dying, before, I didn't realize the consequence, I had just done it. Now I understood its meaning. It was like I had been enlightened in my life's last moment. I realized that I would not exist anymore. Nothing would matter, any more then. Life would go on without me. I smiled. It was a genuine smile, for the first time. Erica was still screaming and crying, people were cheering and clapping outside, my blood stained the blue carpet and I smiled. Despite it all, I couldn't hear anything and I felt myself slipping away from consciousness. From my body. From my soul. I wasn't going anywhere, I was just seizing to exist. It was truly profound, actually. It was joyful. I understood why people were cheering. It was indeed a joyful moment. Then everything went white and black and green and every other color there could ever be. I smiled again.

I screamed. And I opened my eyes. And I saw people. Precisely I saw Banana. What the hell was he doing here? Hadn't I just committed suicide? Was this hell? Cause, it sure as hell isn't heaven. Cause my math teacher was here. I blinked. There were tears in my eyes.

"Miss Ryder, what are you doing?!" he screeched. I was breathing heavily and I started to see other people. I looked around and indeed it looked very familiar. NOOO! It was my math classroom. I struggled to catch my breath. People were staring at me and laughing.

"Quiet!!!" he screeched again.

I had been dreaming. What a horrible dream. It felt so real, too. I even had tears in my eyes. I blinked them away. I wiped them away with the sleeves of my hoodie.

"Are you all right?" someone asked me. I turned around. It was Ian. I remembered he was the new guy and he sat behind me in Banana's class.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled and grabbed my bag and rushed out the room. As I closed the door behind me, I heard Banana saying my name. I ran to the bathroom. I went into the first stall and threw up. It was overwhelming. It just kept coming and coming and coming. It wouldn't stop. Finally, about 10 minuted of puking my guts out, I stopped and went out the stall. I looked at the mirror and washed my hands and my face and my mouth. There was a foul taste in my mouth. Enough to make me puke again. I rummaged through my bag and found gum. And mints. Lucky. I grabbed the gum and started to unwrap every single one of them. One after another, until my mouth was full and the gum was humongous. I pulled my hair into a neater ponytail. Now, you almost couldn't see any of the blonde. I straightened out my clothes and went out the bathroom. I swung open the door and who do I see? Ian White.

"Are you all right?" he said again. He had a concerned look on his face. He had his bag with him.

"What are you doing here?" I ignored his question.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok," he said and took off his glasses. "Heard you puking in there,"

"Great," I muttered and walked past him. He followed me.

"Seriously," he said

"Look," I turned around to face him, "I'm ok, all right? So you can cut the crap and go back to math, sure I was probably sleeping in math and I woke up screaming and then I threw up my guts in there. No big deal. Happens to everyone," and I started to walk away. He followed me again.

"What is your problem?!"

"You,"

I stared.

"You have issues. Seriously. I only wanted to make sure you were ok. No biggie. I am going out with your best friend, you know? So, basically I'm obligated to look after you. I mean, Erica wanted me to be nice to you."

"Well, she was wrong. Don't be nice to me, ok? Just ignore me and go on with your beautiful lives and dates and just leave me alone,"

"Well, it's not happening. Not on my watch," he said and I could tell he was ready to argue and this time he wouldn't back down.

"Fine, what do you want?" I asked.

"Where are you going?"

"I was planning to ditch school for the rest of the day, if you won't mind," I said with polite sarcasm and a fake smile.

He thought for a moment.

"I'll come with you," he said.

"Why on earth would you want to do that?"

"Because," he was silent for a minute or two.

"You wanna elaborate on that?" I was getting impatient. And irritated.

"I just want to. After all, do you have a reason for ditching? You're not sick, you just feel like ditching. Same thing here," he said. Made sense.

"Well, where are we going?" he said in an overly cheery voice.

"Listen, my cheeky friend, we are not going anywhere. I am going somewhere, you are going somewhere else."

"No, no, no, no," he chuckled.

"And why is that?" I pretended to be interested in his answer.

He stopped chuckling. "Look, why are you so hell bent on not going anywhere with me? Did I do something to you? Offend you in any way? I don't think so, but you hate me nevertheless. So let me make it up to you. Whatever I did to make you hate me, I'll apologize. In return, we be friends," now I have to wonder, why is he so hell bent on being friends with me? I mean, I'm not even that interesting or anything.

"The cave," I said

"And what the hell is that?"he said in return with a smile.

"My secret headquarters," I whispered.

"Oh I see. That's cool, where is it?"

"Before we go, are you sure, you want to go to the cave? Cause no one beside me has ever been there."

"Don't be silly, of course I want go," he flashed me a perfect smile. He had two dimples.

I turned around and started walking. I chuckled. What a moron. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

We sneaked out the back door of our school and hoped that no one saw us. We would get caught eventually, but I lived in the moment.