Arnav-Khushi: Hold me like I'm more than just a friend (Part 10 - p55) - Page 34

Originally posted by: Arshi67

Part 10

It had been weeks since Khushi had realized that she could not bring herself to leave Arnav, and, as frustrating as it was to accept it, she knew that her change of heart had very little to do with her and her family's concern for Payal. She had fought endlessly against herself, but there was something deeply intrinsic to her that bound her to Arnav, something so intrinsic that even her otherwise relentless self-respect had to bow out.

But she had found comfort in the fact that she would never let Arnav know that. It was the least she could do. Even after she had found out Anaita was Akash's daughter, and not Arnav's, and realized that, for the most part, Arnav had been a victim of his circumstances and staunch ideals and principles, she had refused to cave in.

It would have to take much more to break down her resolve, and the walls she had painstakingly built around her heart.

And Arnav, somehow, had managed to do just that.

Even he did not know how much she needed to hear that he was willing to fight for her, that he would even go so far as go against his principles, if need be, just to keep her with him. He did not know how much it meant to her to be reassured that she was not an imposition in his life, that he had graciously welcomed out of duty and convention.

It was obvious from the confusion on his face, that he had no idea why his words had moved her to hysterical tears.

The truth was that deep inside, she had always felt unwanted. After her parents had passed away, she had always been grateful that Amma and Bauji had been kind enough to take her in. But she knew that she did not belong in the way that Payal did, and, thanks mostly to Buaji, there had not been a dearth of occasions that had reminded her of this fundamental fact.

It was the reason why she had dreamed of having a so-called love marriage, for she had longed to feel that indescribable sense of true belonging, of oneness and security... that feeling of warmth and coziness that one would perhaps associate with home.

But Arnav, and the desperation in his voice, the yearning in his eyes, the sincerity of his every word, had given her what she wanted and needed, and so much more than she could have dreamt of. So she finally let her guard down, to submit unconditionally to the dictates of her heart.

And the first thing to do, then, was obviously to unleash all the anger she had suppressed within her when she had first learnt, through Akash's confession, of the unimaginable extent of Arnav's altruism and self-sacrificing nature. As proud as she was of him, it was also heartbreaking to see how little value he had given to his own well-being and happiness. Hence, the need to set the record straight and let him know that he had no right to subject himself to such pain, because he was no longer the only one who would feel the pain.

It felt good, inordinately so, to be able to express her anger in the manner that she did, without holding back in the slightest. And it felt good because she felt now that she had every right to do so... for she was his, and he was hers.

"I'm glad that you decided to stop me," she told him finally, "I wanted to... I want to stay."

For a few seconds, he said nothing, and merely looked at her, his deep, warm eyes flickering slightly as he tried to read through hers, as though trying to find a less obvious meaning to her words than the implication that his feelings for her were reciprocal.

"You want to stay?" he repeated, and his lips slowly moulded themselves into a small smile of relief and gratitude, as he placed his hand over her cheek.

"I never want to leave you... I won't be able to live without you." she replied, blinking back her tears and leaning her face so it would rest onto the palm of his hand. There was so much more that she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that she had found in him someone that she could trust completely and perfectly, even more than she trusted herself, that she was willing to fight and raze down the entire world for him. How do you tell a person that you love him so fiercely, so profoundly, when all the words in the world feel woefully inadequate and stale through overuse?

They were so close to each other now, that she could feel his breaths fanning her face, so close that she could see his Adam's apple rise and fall, and the faint glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes, and the slight quiver in his slightly chapped lips, as he slowly tilted his head and brought it closer to hers, and pressed his lips against her other cheek, in a tentative kiss filled with all the sweetness and tenderness in the world.

"I will never let you go," he breathed against her lips.

Overwhelmed by the onslaught of burning emotions that she never knew lay dormant within her, she buried her face into his chest, feeling her limp body melt powerlessly against his solid frame.

He circled both his arms around her, tightly, firmly, and she no longer had to worry about her knees giving way... or, for that matter, about anything at all. Just like that, the rest of the world simply faded away. It was just him, and her, and their heartbeats singing in tandem with one another.

They remained still for a long time, until she began to feel self-conscious and reluctantly tried to pull herself away. But before she could break free from his embrace, his fingers started to skim over the side of her waist, torturously slow, yet deliberately so. She could still feel tiny little sparks where his fingers had grazed her bare skin, as he splayed his hand over the small of her back and pulled her even closer to him. His fingertips dug into her skin ever so slightly, as they moved up towards her neck with a gentle insistence that was somehow exhilarating and nerve wracking at the same time.

"Arnav," she whispered hoarsely, not quite sure what she wanted to say.

"Hmm?" he said, and she could almost hear the smile in his voice. There was something about their physical proximity that had rendered words pretty much redundant. She knew he could sense her nervousness and seemed to be enjoying it.

The realization that he was able to be so casual and playful even as her heart was beating so fast that it was threatening to jump out of her chest, seemed to give her the strength to push him away gently. She turned away from his smirking face immediately, so he wouldn't see the blush searing across her cheeks.

"It's been a long day, we should go to bed," she said, trying in vain to steady her voice.

As the words left her mouth, a sudden pang of fear and guilt hit her. Should she have been more expressive? Had she been too abrupt? Would he feel hurt that she was sort of pushing him away? Would he be disappointed that she was not responding to him as he would have perhaps liked?

But he held her by the shoulders and turned her around slowly so she would face him, as he said reassuringly, his eyes poring into hers, "Don't worry, we'll take things slow. Whenever you're ready, okay?"

She nodded shyly, relieved beyond words.

"Oh, and Khushi," he said, smiling, "I love you."

She smiled back as she propped herself on her toes, and kissed him lightly on his cheek, before she whispered, "I love you too."

The joy on his face was priceless.

That night, as Khushi slept with her head over his shoulder and her arm wrapped around his torso, and there, in his warm embrace, rocked by the steady movements of his chest, she managed to find more than that elusive sense of feeling at home. She found heaven.