Godrej...Hair Remover
He sat on the swing on the 2nd floor cuddling his 9 month old 4th and last child. Sahana sat on his lap wearing a white eyelet pattern halterneck summer dress
Her curls tied up high on her head exposing that fat neck, or lack there of.
He bend down and kissed her cheek, stroking the shoulder
"How does Amma sing?" he muttered
Sahana made a face, shuddered and sneezed as her nostril encountered his stubble
Another sneeze
He hugged her and patted her back
"I am sorry" he whispered
She sucked on a squished strawberry, sending juice all over his shoulder
"Mimika... where is Mimika?" he cooed
She waved a fat arm her wrist encased in a couple of religious beaded bracelets
"Down there huh?" he kissed her collar
"is this better?" he asked
She held his messy curls and gurgled
"U like the hair huh?" "Amma thinks I shud cut it" he said making a face
She grabbed his face with fat fingers and cooed on his nose and mouth
"I agree Amma doesnt have a clue"
And... lo and behold Amma appeared
Wearing a orange and green Madurai sungudi saree, the pallu tucked at her waist
Her braid balled up with strings of jasmine gasping slithering out
"On velayada?" she asked hands on her hips
"Shes here" he whispered to Sahana
Who immediately clung to R&B and tried to rapidly scale his chest, afraid the woman was going to peel her off
He let the fat worm crawl up his chest
"U have no shame" II yelled
"What did u do?" she was shocked looking at Sahana "Idu ivaloda FOURTH GODDAMN WHITE DRESS" she shrieked
"Shes an infant, u shud pick a better color... or umm.. as they say... pick a COLOR" he mocked
The dress was all stained in pink juice
Sahana looked at her sideways
"Erangu dee keezha" (get off his lap) II hissed
Sahana cringed and clung
"Amma said you told Appa, Athim can go if he wants you cant go" II went back to her beef
He sighed
She spoke like a frieght train, about Munirka, and Rohini and Malai Mandir and how the temple never asks for help, and Appa had promised he would help move the two "donated Godrej" almirahs from his bureaucrat's friend's house to the temple on Saturday and how
Appa had stopped by to ask R&B if he would go, but he had instead arranged for labor and truck and refused to go
She stopped to catch a breath
"Onakku pesa vaaye kedayadu da. Next time u whine about how much he likes Athim (u have no right to talk about Appa) and you, think about how you act like a bloody CEO" II was upset
"I dont think Ive ever worried he doesnt love me" he chuckled unable to conceal his joy
"Ofcourse not. Jacque, or Alex or Sukrit or Marianne or Genevieve is all u care about." II waved a finger
Trying to peel a screaming Sahana off
"II let go" he whispered
"No, she needs to change and take that nap.. half way through my nap if u bring her to be nursed I am going to push you and her off the balcony" she said gleefully
"What are you upset about?" he asked not letting ho of Sahana
"Really dude?" she put her hands back on her hips
"Innikki kaathala I told Rukmini Mami Appa has two caring son in laws, both pitch in and help out" II was upset
"Umm..." he just ack
"I come home from kovil(temple) and Amma tells me you are too posh to go to NOIDA to Srivatsan Mama's house to pick up the Godrej" II was livid
"Amma said posh?" he asked biting his lower lip
II smacked Sahana in her butt" and stepped away, walking over to the fiberglass rail
"Why am I even pleading with you. You are the most insensitive person I ever married" II ranted incoherently
"How many times have u been married?" he asked logically
"NOT ENOUGH" she spat at him
"U dont come to feed when I am asleep puriyarda dee? Appa change pannattum dress, talelellam strawberry. You dont want to wear jasmine but u want fruit" (do u get it? ur Dad will change u, ur hair has fruit) II expressed her outrage at her daughter shunning the Iyer ways
"II" he sighed feeling bad a bit
"Vendaam save your shitty justifications for your next venture proposal" she walked towards the bedroom
"II" he called after her and chased holding a giggling baby
"U think we are playing hide and seek?" he whispered to Sahana
She cooed in approval
"Oh yeah BY THE WAY, your suputran (dear noble son) Mavvy talaya shave pannittan, thought u might want to know" she smiled humorlessly (he shaved Mavvy's head)
"Which one? I have two" he said calmly
II was ready to go postal
"Umm... yeah I forgot... Vedu" she said unable to speak as anger bubbled
"How?" he asked calmly
"Umm... lets see... his Dad couldnt put his things away prooperly, he never shaves or gets a haircut"
(he chuckled audibly at the sharp wit "I told u" he whispered to Sahana) he somehow got a hold of it and the poor guy was asleep on the backyard swing" II was truly heartbroken
"His whole head? How come he was asleep through the whole things?" he asked
II's eyes glinted with fury.. "I am not going to answer that" "BTW... its the doghouse for you for the next 3 months" she showed her fingers
"But the dogs sleep inside the house" it began to sting him now, now that his wife was planning to deny him good stuff at night
"Well... we'll see about that too wont we" she said walking away haughtily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He followed her down... 3.5 year old Vedu was arrested in his hair chair in the kitchen an array of jigsaw pieces sat in front of him
Siddu and Ranjan were trying to read a book. II got busy loading dirty dishes in the dishwasher
Siddu ran up to him to tattle about his brother
"Mavvy Uncle AIR KATH... Mavvy Uncle... HAIR KAAMANE" (kaanume in Tamil is gone or lost) "Vedu bzzz" he made a sound to tell R&B Vedu used his electric beard trimmer
Mavvy looked comical with a strip of hair missing from the center of his head
No human sounds in the kitchen, only dishes
"Bhabhiji Sir" Mavvy informed
II didnt even turn around
"I am sorry, aap chalenge hair cut karwaane?" R&B asked politely
Mavvy rubbed his head shyly.
"Hafte mein aape hee ugenge" he giggled
"Nahi galat kiya" R&B said glumly
II turned to look at him
"Gudiya qitaab kiska hai bache... isne pencil se lakeer maari hai" Ranjan asked
"Ayyoyo school library du" (it belongs to the school)
"Ay kee kitha bache" Ranjan began erasing furiously
"Chaliye" R&B coaxed mavvy
Sahana had long slid off his arms and gone to sit on Ranjan's lap
In the same messy white dress
"Oye hoye..." Ranjan kissed her deliriously
She squeezed her sugary syrupy sticky hands to show she was eating fruit
"Achha jee?" he asked joyously
"Amma" Vedu said sadly
II didnt look at him
"U know what u did?" R&B asked
Vedu burst out crying...
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