SS 51 Baby Steps to work on 1 - Page 99

Goodnight Envee n others..
I am also tired...

This story is a window to the different worlds out there.

Appa's eyes are seeing what his mind is prepared to comprehend.
There has got to be some fact in that our perspective on life comes from the cage we were held captive in.
The unconscious bias/ ego puts its own interest first and twists every argument, word, even fact to suit that interest. Appa's interest in his kozhandai and his distrust in his second son in law , rearranged the fact that his first daughter was married off and carrying her child at an an earlier age than his second daughter. It distorted the intent behind the dude sending flowers to his wife that moment.


Bala comes homes with a plan of spending the night, sees his wife supporting the dude, sees the spa vouchers that he can't dream of affording his wife, hits his ego that someone other than him is gifting his wife , sees his son asking if uncle R has left and feels slighted and powerless .
He has never been able to give that kind of attention to his wife in 12 yrs that the dude has been doing in the last few months, be it getting her a paid leave or providing her with the spa voucher.
The guy is clutching on to straws to be able to provide for an ice cream to his family by the 25th of every month, spa is a luxury that he doesn't remember in his scheme of things until someone from an other world reminds him of that.

I read a story of two three random job holding Ramu working a shift in an office feeling miserable at not being celebrate his son's wish for a birthday with a full round cake and not just a piece of it, goes to office the next day where there is a huge birthday celebration of a gang slapping the cake on the face of the birthday guy, eating some and most portion of it lying wasted and promptly Ramu has to go clean up the mess left behind of the cake, a cake that his son wished but couldn't afford.

Coming bk to Bala, this popped his baloon that he was in this particular evening where he was feeling smug about spending the evening with his wife and his sons.He is definitely not going to appreciate that his wife got gifted this luxury by not him but another man especially , a luxury in his eyes that he cannot afford .

The dude also had a heart burn when the 'peaches' man flirted with his wife, so much that he had his eyes on the lawman even counting the number of beers he had and promptly relayed it to his unsuspecting wife of her lying teetotaler alchoholic friend not actually being one if she cared to notice . That evening when the peaches and tongs man was present and we had Appa poking on the dude drinking beer, it just added up, causing so much distress to the dude that poker night by leaving her high and dry in the act. Not to forget that infamous statement of a face launching thousand ships another time around.

The situations are not the same . The difficulty of the woe is not the same This is a different kind of envy though. The cause of envy not the same. But my point here is , if you were to look at it, men do find comparing themselves to others in situations that makes them feel slighted and inadequate.
It wasn't dude's intention to cause a heartburn but it spiraled in to one for Bala. That spa vouchers and the expensive bunch of flowers gift are in his face kind of luxury for a middle class man in him.
He is playing up his card in front of his father in law by bringing vaishnavi in to picture as if to say that I am managing things in vandu's absence and I am not exactly having a walk in the park as much as I would like to. It's like everyone thinking that there's too much on the plate that they are having to handle.

Different heartburns , different degrees.

Don't know if II will have heartburns cos of her pregnancies, but Appa sure will and that too with increasing intensity everytime she sees his daughter pregnant.

You cannot force anyone to like soneone they don't like.Most times , At best we can hope that they try to be civil with each other understanding where the person is coming from, I think.
Every single person because of the complicated web of relationships from Malchamarg to DII to Munirkha is guilty of pushing , saying, doing seeing and believing things that suits them and they all come with motives that cannot be deemed exactly unselfish, some emotionally and others monetarily.

We push and prod to get the outcomes we want or would like to see happening.

Wooh! Just turned out to be a long post!.

Sri,did you get to go to aurobindo ashram/ cuddalore beach in your free time,
There's a ferry that takes you to a beautiful spot in the beach there .

Kalpana been there before this time just visited a cousin and attended a wedding of a dear child on a private beach and rushed back...we have a inter school conference we host today and one training session to attend at Tumkur on Monday.

Kalpana...

Very nice...Made me to think in all perspective...

Good Morning/Evening all...🤗

Hirsute and Heartburn.

Appa as Ashu would say is honesty "Ninja" chief!

The insensitive damaad who does not need to explain comes to his wife with grandiose gestures. Appa of course thinks its extravagant and need to save for the baby! He also realises his sister in law could do with some relaxing and sends her spa vouchers which is ignored but Viashnavi's accomplishments are Not!
And that he mentions to guy who could have happily lived through this janam and the agla janam lounging in dads money! But he chose to work his butt off and pulled himself through college before his mother left him because he wanted to be his own man! I'm sure Viashnavi must have had her struggle too but Appa is obviously more familiar with his own kin- however distant; than the 6 footer who holds his daughter's heart that is difficult to understand for Appa to understand.

Dude and II with out saying a word do for each other what even a experienced married couples don't do in DII. They keep their disagreements private; do not claw each other in front of others or pass snide remarks. Importantly give each other space in uncomfortable situations. RnB and II never put each other In a place where one is forced to pick one relationship over the other. Their fights are cute because they demand every bit of private time and space off each other!

Can't get enough of this story! Well done Nisha! 👏