Here is a review from a reader for Mountains of Chocolate
Trust me... I did not ghost author it😆
A note on "mountains of chocolate"
Do you realise how seemingly effortlessly you do this?
For starters, I am getting a first hand knowhow of how a screen play works. Let me explain it better.
In this chapter, the screen play broke it in to nights, day, noon and ended up with Thursday morning.
You covered Tuesday night to Thursday morning in a single chapter brilliantly.
Snap shot-1( my mind is visualizing a clap boy in a film studio)
Cut to Balcony.
Tuesday night had II missing her hubs and sulking . The guard checking on her, his loyalty for his Saab ji the house and to the choti memsaab. Yes II, u like or not, u r one now. Then the casual typical entrance of manya with Vik,
Then Manya in her own way checking on II,maybe sensing and showing a little consideration for her SIL(I love such moments, where you get to see the person behind the facade one projects)loved Manya's texting. She understood the pithily excuse that II gave her . I connected with the random white lie of II too.
Then the screen shot smoothly moves to another moment in the same night of R&B wanting to check on his wife thru his dad. And then the texting that followed, the subtle enquiry behind a hubs curiosity , if the wife actually accepted something monetarily ,his mixed feeling of jealousy and relief, the dude's concern for his dad's health surfacing at the end of this texting. Another subtle moment to read was Manya texting R&B. I interpreted it to be that she typically would have pulled him up and reported on II and also checked on how he was doing at the other end.
Ranjanji, aur rasmalai khaane ke din aagaye!! You will see ur son texting u more. One good that came out of this situation is your phone screen will have more messages from your son to show and for you to reminisce . Changa jee. Aaj aap khush soage na? The bud is all not dead yet, Ranjanji.
Then the night ending with with R&B now knowing thru Manya that his wife is awake and texting her, she
Gives bhaav and then the chat with Mihir and her plans for her tryst. Looks like it's going to make the dude sweat a li'l.
Next snap shot of screenplay
The office . Noon
Mrs. Sagar, subtle but the most underplayed character in this story . There is a lot more of her to be unearthed. I like the mystery she brings in to the story . She is a darling na, Nisha?
A seemingly true well wisher . Don't know if it was her idea or the dudes idea to give the chocalates, it was a damn good way to cheer up our girl . A precious sweet fantasy, she would have no qualms accepting. The truffles and the likes was again novel.
Mrs, Sagar's line, your husband does not enjoy Sees. Pronto our girl waiting to pounce , replies " give him one in the form of a mountain" . She can never resist needling and taking potshots. It had me in splits'
And you Ms. II , why one bib, baby, soon , time will come for you to load the closets with it entirely . . Oh I loved that line, " And I need a bib". It's absolutely awesome of you to come with such lines. This is very intelligent story telling.
Then you have Ritu entering. A lot that a reader could choose to interpret the conversation in his/ her own way. A situation , an occurrence that happens every other day at office. The insecurities of both Ritu and II has been captured nicely. More on it later.
And the next snapshot , cut to thurs morn,
Dude initiating " I miss you" and the naughty sexting between the couple
Effortlesly brilliant. And thank you for giving four. Well appreciated , Nisha.
Thanks for the beautiful mail VidyaHere the Tamil Ted of your poem has been updatedhttps://i.imgur.com/Vl7ACS6.jpgThat's the link if u want to update it in special index and the original post too
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
Members Lounge
