Originally posted by: pixiegirl
Jenny, being a woman I naturally empathize with women & their issues more than I do a man's, therefore, to see Khushi suffer like this was truly heartbreaking... I don't know what made Arnav do what he did, for his sake though; I hope he has a darn good reason. ;) LOL
But what I do know, from what you have written so far is that, as much as I adore this Arnav, he broke Khushi's heart this time, and in the process, mine too... And there isn't a nice way of putting this unpleasant fact.
Maybe Khushi deserved to be treated in this heartless, callous way for not listening to Arnav's pleas to get together... Maybe, Khushi got her just deserts for wanting some time for herself, for introspection; maybe she really didn't prioritize Arnav in her scheme of things and deserved to be ignored... And she still had doubts & feelings of guilt when Arnav had time & again assured her that he loved her & had never loved his ex-wife, and that his marriage with Lavanya was long over before he met her... I don't know.
As I struggle to understand who is right & who is wrong, if there is one thing that I have understood in life by now is that, strange is the human mind & stranger still is the human heart... The heart knows no reason, when & whom to love or not... Similarly, the mind, based on changing circumstances, vacillates between what is right & wrong. Who can then explain the vagaries of the mind??
As, I have no hopes of deciphering either Khushi or Arnav's minds, I will not attempt to do so, but I do want to take a moment to analyze a few facts as I know them to be...
Although, their relationship seems to have transformed into an unpleasant one only recently, the doubts & guilt have been simmering under the surface from the very beginning of their relationship, when Khushi found out about Arnav's relationship status. Alas, she had done the unthinkable; she had fallen in love with a still married man! A complete no-no in her book. (And I think it is very important to understand this here, it is in HER book. What she did, may not have bothered any other woman as much as it did bother Khushi, no wonder, her doubts, her guilt cannot be fathomed by many...)
So her reservations & doubts had continued to bother Khushi about the propriety of their relationship, it was only Arnav's constant assurances that propelled her forward. But with each hurdle, with each roadblock they faced, her fears & guilt, grew exponentially only to be squashed down by her own feelings for Arnav and her desire to be with him.
But what is naturally weak & fragile has little strength to withstand the earth-shattering forces of destruction. Things will sooner or later break & fall apart. This is exactly what happened with our lovebirds. The cracks became bigger and bigger...
And the reason it hit Khushi in such a devastating way is because of her underlying guilt. This guilt just blew out of proportion in her head and clouded all her thoughts & feelings. Whereas, even a ghastly event like that of a suicide bid did not affect Arnav nearly half as much as it did Khushi because he had never suffered through any of this guilt. It was clear as a bell in his mind that his relationship with Lavanya was over the day he had walked away!
It was very easy for Arnav to be this clear headed because it was he who was in that relationship, it was him who went through first-hand the frustrating & bitter marriage and knew exactly when it ended, which was long before Khushi arrived on the scene. As such, he did not have an iota of guilt. So, no doubts either about the propriety of his relationship with Khushi. Which unfortunately led to his lack of understanding of what Khushi was going through, he just had no clue & sadly didn't make the effort to understand either...
Khushi on the other hand did not have the luxury of experiencing or even witnessing the events first-hand. She had to rely on hearsay. To be fair, every story does have two sides. What Arnav told her was his side of the story, & what Lavanya via her note & Manya by her accusations told Khushi was the other side, which was hitherto unknown to Khushi...
So, is it really hard to imagine Khushi's dilemma at this point in time?? Will not any girl with an iota of self-respect and morals, not want some time to introspect, to digest, or to even calm her distraught nerves that have taken such a beating?? I fail to see how this makes Khushi indecisive, immature, and selfish?? Are Arnav's needs, needs & what Khushi needs, not needs?
Let's go back to that ill-fated conversation where everything went awry... The heated conversation in the park was just a culmination of months of uncertainties, guilt & frustration...
Khushi being torn by her thoughts & feelings, had again expressed her desire to have some more time, to sort out her muddled thoughts & feelings (introspection) ;) and also to deal with her father's health issues at home... And, like most girls who care about their parents, she wanted to have her parents' blessings for this very important next phase of her life. She didn't want to hurt their feelings any more than she already had by ignoring their wishes & going ahead with Arnav. But since the situation at home was not conducive to have just such a conversation, she had wanted more time to win them over or at least try to and had categorically told Arnav that if, in fact, after this, she didn't succeed with her plans then she would go ahead with her relationship with Arnav as planned.
During this conversation she also hesitatingly mentions overhearing part of Arnav's conversation with La in his apartment, which contributed to this major confusion in her mind... She expresses her disillusionment with Arnav... Her hurt at his seeming lack of trust in her to not be completely honest with her... Which resulted in him being hurt & misunderstanding her words partly due to Khushi's own inability to express her thoughts clearly and partly due to his own hurt at her seeming lack of trust in him...
Whatever be the reason, he got mad, accused her rightly or wrongly of not prioritizing him in her scheme of things. I have no issues with that. As long as you are talking, arguing, debating it is absolutely fine. But when in anger he tells them to break-up & date other people & poor girl to save face, agrees to it, which in turn angers & hurts him even more... Now this is exactly what strikes me odd on a purely humanitarian & logical basis...
If your girlfriend is having some doubts, then clear them... He could have easily told her the whole conversation with La, instead of expecting her to trust him only. Which she does, her problem is her guilt of inadvertently breaking up a marriage, which he does not seem to understand. If she means so much to him, shouldn't he have tried harder to clarify her doubts, of setting the record straight, of backing off to give her more time & space as she had requested?? But no, his ego or anger or whatever comes in between him and his sensibilities and he walks away leaving her devastated...
After all, COMMUNICATION is key. What good does it serve to issue a unilateral decision to break-up a worthy relationship like that and then refuse to talk about it?? And to top it all, even issue a challenge to go date other people?? Really, is that done?? Is that acceptable??
As far as I know, Khushi had tried to contact him with all means of communication available to her, and all she had received from him in return, is complete silence. And then when she finally runs into him, she gets angry glares & a "Please, don't waste your time." from him at the bar... (I am not even going to talk about the blonde with him, b/c to me; she is not even a factor in my reactions to his actions & words.) So how does that feel like??
I never play the soothsayer on any story, hence cannot predict what caused Arnav to behave with Khushi with so much anger since the fight for the past two months & I really hope he has enough valid reasons... But based on what I know so far, I can draw some logical conclusions...
He hadn't spoken to Khushi since the day of the fight, so it couldn't be something she said or did...
It couldn't be Anita, as she had no idea about the break-up either...
It could be Navin, or Sujata who might have called him to tell him to leave Khushi alone... But that is their fault, why blame Khushi for it?? If he had any issue with something her parents said to him he could have & should have spoken to Khushi about it... Maintaining a silence in such a situation & blaming Khushi for something she hasn't done does not seem too logical to me. Therefore, I hope, that is not the case.
Sujata could have called Aastha & told her to keep Arnav away from Khushi... Or as some have put it, she might have told Aastha that Khushi & Aman are back together... Again it is something Arnav should have spoken to Khushi & clarified about. Especially when she had be trying to reach him constantly. It would have taken just a moment to find out the truth, unless it is his ego that prevented him from doing so. And if it indeed was his ego, where is it now, another two months down the road to go search for Khushi?? So, I am hoping Arnav would not be so illogical and blame Khushi for her parents' faults...
So, I am not left with too many options here...
Poor Khushi has been through hell mostly through little or no fault of hers, so I want to know more than anything else what prompted Arnav to behave the way he did... What could be the reason for him to be so angry at her for so long, to not have the heart to give-in after two months of Khushi relentlessly trying to reach out to him?? He better have a good story to tell...
This portrays Khushi's condition perfectly...
And this one is for meant for Arnav...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
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