#3 Arshi FF: Smitten By The Neighbour ~Next thread link on Page 134~ - Page 12

"Alright, Thank you" Akaash said and disconnected the call. He had been driving to go to Arnav's office, but was told by the receptionist tsheerhat Arnav hadn't come yet. He wasn't even answering his mobile phone. It had been more than an hour since he left from home in anger. Where could he possibly go? It was then that Akaash thought of a possibility of where he must have gone. Hoping that his gut feeling was right, he asked his driver to turn the car around.

Khushi stared at the ceiling while lying on the bed. "Samrat is myson. I don't need any advice about my relationship with him from a third person" His words echoed in her head. Fresh tears drained down her cheeks and burned her eyes. Why did Arnav have to be so rude to her? After all, she wasn't the only one telling him what to do. In fact, the whole family was insisting on his presence at the resort. And what was so wrong in what she said? She had just asked him to spend some time with Samrat. Why did he have to get so mad about that? She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, and some more tears rolled down her face. "I'm not going to forgive you for what you said today, Arnav" she whispered and closed her eyes as she hugged the pillow next to her.

Akaash spotted Arnav sitting at the lonely bench of the garden of their old house, where they lived around ten years back. They had shifted to the Raizada Mansion but Arvind had refused to sell this one. A lot of memories were made in this place, and it felt very wrong to sell it off. And so, this house was kept locked and left as it is. Many times, the family did come to spend some time in this house. It was quiet and peaceful, far away from the busy streets in the interiors of quietude. It always brought some positive energy into the whole family on their visits.

Akaash stepped out of the car and asked the driver to go away, telling him that he would come back in Arnav's car. Akaash looked around the place. Nothing much had changed. In fact, the small swing that they used to play on was still handing securely on the branch of the huge breadfruit tree. Arnav, who was lost in thoughts, heard footfalls on the dry leaves and turned around to see Akaash walking towards him. Akaash sat next to his little brother, and the two of them stayed in silence. A while later, Arnav spoke. "How did you know I was here?" Akaash smiled, "It is me' you are talking about. I know you too well. This is the only place you would come when you were upset. Nothing's changed about that even today." Arnav looked away from his brother, "Leave me alone, Akaash. I need to stay alone for some time" "Sorry, Arnav. That, I cannot do. Now tell me what made you so upset this morning that you had to yell at poor Khushi?" Arnav looked to the ground as he recalled how he had shouted at her. "Nothing Akaash. I was just angry with everyone forcing me to come along to the resort and..." "...And Khushi seemed to be the soft target. You could not yell at anyone else in the house, and so you chose to take all of your frustration on her" Arnav stayed silent. Akaash turned to him and placed his hand on his brother's shoulder, "You can tell me what is troubling you. What made you go so crazy?" Arnav sighed aloud, "I went to the same resort five years back for my honeymoon with Swathi" Akaash frowned, "Why didn't you say so?" Arnav looked at him and smiled wearily, "What was I supposed to say? That I don't want to come to the resort because Swathi's memories still haunt me? That every nook and corner of that place reminds me of her, and I am scared of breaking down again?" Akaash shook his head, "So, you thought, Hey, instead of speaking out what exactly is on my mind, let me just scream at my wife who is not at fault at all!' Right?" When Arnav was silent, Akaash continued, "Do you know how bad Khushi felt? She did not even have her breakfast, you just shouted and left. Did you see her tears?" Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Arnav, Khushi agreed to marry you for Sam. And today, you called her as a third person? How would she take it? After giving so much of selfless love to your son, all she gets to hear is this- she is a third person?"

Arnav threw his face in his hands. He realized the damage he had done. He knew he had to apologize. He humiliated her in front of his whole family despite what she had done for him. She was not at fault. Swathi had managed to spoil his peace of mind without even trying; even after five years of absence. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at her." Arnav admitted in a soft tone. Akaash cleared his throat and Arnav looked up at him. "What?" Akaash grinned, "Nothing Arnav. I was just wondering if you shouted at Khushi because of Swathi? Or did you have other reasons?" Arnav frowned and looked away, "What do you mean other reasons? I just told you that..." "Oh quit it Arnav. We all have seen the way you look at Khushi. You're falling for her, Arnav..." "What nonsense! No I'm not!" Arnav interrupted his sentence. Akaash rolled his eyes. "Oh please! Save that denial for someone else. You are just being a jerk by not admitting it. You know you cannot hide anything from me. We are friends along with being brothers. So don't think you can give me that denial shit and run away from your own feelings" Arnav fell silent as Akaash lovingly patted his shoulder.

Seconds turned into minutes when finally Arnav spoke up. "I haven't forgotten Swathi." Akaash took a deep breath, "You choose not to forget her, Arnav. You're holding on to her memories because you know that you are falling for Khushi. You choose not to let go of Swathi because you fear that you will get close to Khushi. You're too scared to fall in love, again. You're fear heartbreak again, don't you?" Arnav kept staring at a blank point in space. Akaash was absolutely right. He was falling for her without even realizing it. And now he was scared that the distance between them would be sealed forever. But what if she did not reciprocate his feelings? What if she was still not ready to let go of her past and hold his hand? He had often seen the twinkle in her eyes whenever she talked about Rishi. She would even dream of Rishi some nights and would wake up with a start. Would she give him a place in her heart when it only beat for Rishi? He had survived the blow of his first marriage. What if his second marriage had the same fate, where his love was one-sided and never returned? Was he destined to live in a compromise of a marriage and merely carry out his duties and responsibilities in a completely platonic relationship? Did he not deserve to be loved? It was easier for him to live in the past, than stepping into an uncertain future.

"What are you thinking?" Akaash asked him again and he shook his head. "Nothing important." Then pausing for a while, he said, "I was rude to Khushi this morning. I must apologize to her" Akaash agreed, "Yes, you must. She was in tears when you left." Guilt crossed Arnav's face. He never meant to hurt her. But Swathi always brought out the worst in him. Akaash rose from where he was sitting, and looked at Arnav, "I need to go to the office now and you need to drop me because I asked my driver to leave." Arnav shook his head with a small smile, "Fine, I'll drop you" "But Arnav, please promise me that you will apologize to Khushi whenever you reach home" Arnav nodded and Akaash was glad. Both of them then took a look at the surrounding, recalling their memories spent there, and then left the place after few good minutes.

The rest of the day went quite well for Arnav while he kept drowning in his work. It was at six in the evening that his assistant reminded him about the flight to Delhi next day. Arnav decided to call it a day and go home to get some rest. He also knew that he had to make up for hurting Khushi. Her name brought a smile on his lips. Perhaps there was nothing wrong in going with the flow. If his destiny wanted him to fall in love again, he knew nothing could stop it from happening. All he had to do is let go of the past and take a step towards his present and future. Even of it was difficult, he was determined not to bring his past up again. He would apologize and tell Khushi the reason why he got mad. He was sure she would understand him if she heard him out. Driving to a nearby florist, he bought a dozen of white and yellow roses- white for sorry and yellow for friendship. He had a simple plan- apologize, listen to whatever she had to yell at him, give her the flowers and hope for some forgiveness. Little did he know how stubborn and rigid she would be.

He entered his house, trying his best to hide the bouquet from the prying eyes of his mother. Luckily for him, she wasn't around. Ratna and Payal had gone to their favourite place- the temple. He knew that Khushi wasn't the one to pay frequent visits to the temple. Not that she didn't have faith; she did. She just wasn't over-enthusiastic about visiting holy places unlike his Mother and Sister-in-law. And it meant only one thing- that Khushi was alone at home, because the house seemed oddly quiet, which meant that the kids weren't around too. He walked up to the room and tiptoed in. she wasn't around. He even checked the bathroom, but she wasn't there either. "Khushi went to the temple with Aayi and Payal?" he whispered to himself. Feeling a sudden wave of disappointment, he loosened his tie and tossed it aside. He was about to place the bouquet on the table, and that was when he thought of checking the poolside. He peeped outside, to find her sitting near the pool, with her feet dipped in the water. She was leaning against the ladder of the pool. He cleared his throat to let her know of his presence. Even though she heard him, she chose not to look at him, and Arnav knew she was really mad at him. And she had every right to be angry. He said harsh things to her.

Arnav stood next to where she was seated and waited for her to look up at him. When she did not, he rolled his pants up to his knee and sat next to her, with his feet in the water. "I'm sorry, Khushi" he whispered, looking into the clear water. Seconds passed by, but she did not respond. He cleared his throat again, "Khushi, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you and..." He paused when he saw her getting up and wiping her feet on the mat to go inside. He quickly rose and held her hand, before she could go in. "I know you're angry with me. You have every right to do so. But please, forgive me Khushi. I said it in anger" She turned around, looked at him and then looked at his hand. She noticed the flowers he was holding, but did not pay attention to it. "Let me go" she said in a soft stern voice. "Khushi, please..." She pulled her hand out of his tight grip. When she turned to walk back into the room, he felt his ire rising and said, "Khushi, you cannot walk like that. I am apologizing here, and you don't even care to listen to me!" Khushi turned around, and looking into his eyes, she spoke, "You're not doing me a favour by apologizing. You need to apologize if you feel that you have made a mistake" Arnav blinked twice while he looked at her face. "So you're saying that you want me to apologize! That is what I am doing, but you're simply walking away"

Khushi looked at him and narrowed her eyes. "I did not say that I want you to apologize. I said I want you to apologize only if you feel like apologizing; not because I want you to..." "Fine. I'll apologize." He said with a huff. Softening his tone, he looked at her and said, "I'm sorry Khushi. I shouldn't have spoken all that rubbish. Please forgive me" Khushi looked at him for a moment and then turned away, "People usually speak their mind out when they are angry. And you did the same today" Arnav rolled his eyes. "What do you mean by that? And where did you learn such shitty logic?" She glared at him and he glared back too.

"Just recall what you said, Arnav." Khushi's eyes watered as she now spoke. "How could you say that I am a third person? I love Samrat just like I would love my own son. In spite of being in love with Rishi, I agreed to marry you, only for the sake of Samrat. I put aside everything only for Samrat's sake. Then how could you just say such words and walk away without a single glance at me? Did you even turn around to see how much you hurt me? No you didn't. You just spoke and went your way, without realizing how much of damage you did. You did not even know how your words cut me and wounded me, Arnav. I thought you were a caring person. But I was wrong. You humiliated me in front of your whole family; in front of Samrat. I did not even force you to come to the resort. I spoke only because Samrat was pleading you and you did not even look at him to give an ear to what he was saying." Arnav looked at the floor as she spoke. "Imagine, if I said such things to you, if I called you a third person, how would you react?" "I'm sorry Khushi" Arnav said, taking a step towards her. She raised her hand, as if to stop him from coming closer, and he stopped. "What do you want me to say, Arnav? That I forgive you? Is this what you want to hear from me and redeem yourself from guilt? Then fine. I forgive you. But don't expect me to forget those words what you said."

Arnav took another step towards her, despite her angry stare. "I said, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I said it all in anger. Actually everyone began to talk about coming to the resort. I refused because it reminds me of..." "Sorry is not something that you say with expectations of what the other person must think, feel or do. It does not give you the right to assume that once you apologize, everything will be back to normal. And frankly, I don't care anymore, Arnav! All I know is that you screamed at me for no fault of mine" "I understand, Khushi; at least hear me out..." "No, Arnav! I don't want to talk, nor do I want to listen. I have heard you enough this morning." Not knowing what else to do, he took her hand, and placed the bouquet in her hand, "I'm sorry for hurting you. Trust me, I did not intend to..." He stopped talking when she tossed the flowers into the pool. He stared at her while she looked at the lifeless flowers floating in the water. She had nothing to hear from him. He had told her loud and clear that she did not mean anything to him. There was no point in listening to his words anymore. "I don't care for what you have to say, Arnav. Just leave me alone. I married you for Samrat, and I care only for him, even though you may believe otherwise. And just as you made it clear to me in the morning, let me make it clear to you. I don't care about you." Arnav looked at her, blankly while she continued. "I just don't care whether you're around or not. Why should I? A third person never cares, right? You only know to hurt people. Your Dad cares for you, but you don't reciprocate. Your Mom loves you, but you just end up shouting at her. Samrat loves you, but you don't even have the time to listen to him. No wonder you're so lonely, Arnav! It's not because others have a problem. It's because you are the problem. One way, I am very happy that Swathi left you. Her life would have been ruined if she stayed with you. You deserve to be left alone. You don't deserve to be loved and..." Khushi paused when she saw him staring at her with a cold expression. She knew she spoke too much, But there was too much of ego, anger and frustration pent up within her. Without another word, she walked away. She knew she was wrong, but right now, she was too proud to apologize for her words. She repeated his mistake. She wounded him with her words and walked away, leaving him to bleed. Perhaps she would apologize after her anger cooled down. But right now, she needed to walk away from him so that she could calm down and think straight.

Arnav stood frozen, looking at her back as she walked away from him. His fear came true. She rejected his apology. How the hell would she accept his feelings for her? It was good that he wasn't madly in love with her. Attraction was there, but luckily it wasn't love. At least, that was what he thought. But was she right, telling him that he did not deserve to be loved? Recalling those words, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, as if someone twisted a knife in his gut. "No wonder you're so lonely, Arnav! It's not because others have a problem. It's because you are the problem... I am very happy that Swathi left you. Her life would have been ruined if she stayed with you... You deserve to be left alone. You don't deserve to be loved" he fell on his knees by the poolside, watching the lifeless flowers now sinking into the bluish water. "She doesn't love me" he whispered to himself. A tiny tear fell to the floor. He touched his face to find it moist. "Why am I crying?" he wiped his face and smiled bitterly to himself, with tears down his cheek. She was right. He deserved to be alone. He was destined to be unloved. It was his fate. What was he even thinking? How could she fall in love with him, when she loved Rishi too much? For a second, he envied Rishi. He was too lucky to have been loved so much in such a short span. And here he was, lonely, abandoned and rejected. Throwing his face in his hands, he took a deep breath and relaxed himself, after wiping his misty eyes. He wouldn't cry over his fate. If she wouldn't love him, then he wouldn't try running after her as well. She pushed him away. Now, it was time to step back and accept the emptiness of this relationship based on compromise alone.

An hour later, when all of them were gathered at the dining table, Arvind noticed that Arnav's chair was still empty. "Akaash, did you talk to Arnav?" he asked while glancing at Khushi who was feeding Samrat with roti and dal. "Yes, Dad. I did talk to him." Arvind nodded and looked at Khushi, "Is Arnav home yet? I haven't seen him since evening!" Ratna too nodded, "Exactly! Ever since Payal and I came bck with the kids, he is not to be seen. Khushi, where is he" "Arnav is in his room, Aayi" she said without looking at anyone and continued to feed Samrat. Ratna felt something was odd, but couldn't quite put her finger on it. Just then Arnav came downstairs and much to everyone's surprise, he did not sit at the table. Instead, he just grabbed an apple, wiped it on the sleeve of his shirt and turned around to go upstairs. "Arnav, aren't you having dinner?" Ratna called him, but he spoke without turning, "I'm not hungry" He walked towards the stairs and Arvind called out to him, "Arnav, have you apologized to Khushi?" Arnav stopped in his tracks and looked at Khushi. Even before she could say anything to anyone, he spoke, "No. I did not" Khushi stared at him, wide-eyed. "Arnav, you shouted at her in front of the whole family. And now, you're not even regretful about it! Arnav, apologize to her, this very moment" Arnav looked at Khushi and smiled sardonically at her. "Sorry" he said dryly and walked up. Arvind shook his head, "I'm sorry Khushi. I know he can be a brute at times" Khushi kept looking at Samrat's plate. She wanted to tell everyone that he had apologized to her. But she had said worse things to him. She knew she had to talk to him first. She would apologize and sort things out. After dinner, when she went back to the bedroom, she saw that Arnav was fast asleep, on the couch. Just when everything was getting back to normal, she had pushed him away from her. And maybe if she hadn't been hell bent on pushing him, he wouldn't have walked away. She could already sense the distance between them. She missed the warmth and friendship between them. Most of all, she missed having him by her side. "Arnav..." she called out to him, knowing that he wasn't asleep. He did not respond, and his silence made her even more restless. She fell into bed, not before she promised herself that she would speak to him, first thing in the morning.