part 4
"I'll never accept your friendship again armaan malik" she thought getting back to her strong self
He looked at her lost in some thought
''Shilpu..what happened...where are you lost??'' he was tensed for her...but relax as he watched an smile forming on her lips...when it hitted her
''err..sid..you had a call..'' she paused as she watched him moving his head confusingly asking who
''Riddhima'' she said guessing how his reaction will be on knowing riddhima called him...but he stayed pretty calm
''you aint reacting'' she was confused
''why will i shilpa??''...''if she needs me she will call again na'' he went in the kitchen and pretended to cook something... she got something was wrong
''sid what happened??'' she followed him till the kitchen
''actually i was busy in my duties..when riddhima came to me asking if we can meet.. but i refused..saying i wanted to take you out...you were soo stressed out'' he said without facing her
''Okay now...why you aint talking to her??'' she wasn't grabbing the logic behind it all
''well i'm scare...she might ask me to meet her...and i don't want to leave you alone in this state...you almost fainted in the locker room'' he turned to her...expressing himself genuinely
''sid...you silly..i was tired...i gave myself some rest..and i'm back to normal...jeez...you're such a kid at times.'' she pulled his cheeks...''go call her and ask what the matter'' she smiled politely at him...and making him smile along
She pulled the chop veggies from him and signalled him to go with her eyes
He got his phone out and dailed riddhima's numbers
She was sitting in her room filled with darkness...with her cheeks stained with dry tears...why were she feeling soo hurt??...she heard her cell ringing...she din't know who it was...all she was thinking was...shilpa and sid closeness
''she's might be busy with armaan'' he thought feeling a familiar pain in his heart...he twisted his lips in a smile ...placed the phone back and got in the kitchen helping shilpa
He walked through the corridors with his eyes searching for only one face...''was she fine...what happened to her yesterday??'' his heart kept on asking him...''what about riddhima??'' his mind asked...''wasn't he suppose to be tense for her'' He shook away all questions...when he watched her entering the hospital
''how are you now??'' He asked her getting close to her
''how it does it matter to you dr armaan'' she said strictly and continued walking
''Shilpa please atleast give me a last chance'' he walked along
''chance for what armaan...i don't understand..what do you want??''...in past you were after riddhima because you wanted riddhima...now that you have riddhima...why are you after me??...look the only common thing between us is that we work in the same hospital...nothing else'' she stood infront of the lift and pressed on the open button
He knew whatever she said was right...but still felt like all was wrong...he was wrong...and he would try all possible to make it right...he made his mind
''Shilpa..you're the right...i was confused..since always...in past i tried to let riddhima go...but something in me couldn't see her going away...however i tried i couldn't'' He followed her inside of the lift
''No armaan...you never tried to let riddhima go...and if ever you did..i dunno...the thing which couldn't let her go...was your ego...your stubborness..and same thing you're trying to do with me...you just can't bear the fact that..i'm over you...the girl which was after you and your friendship is done with you'' she said facing him...with no fear in her eyes..
He felt awful when he heard those word from her...she was wrong...he wasn't trying to get her back because of his ego...heck...she's not understanding...the pain he went through the last two days...he's unable to understand...why it's paining him soo much seeing her this close to sid...and he wasn't getting the right word to make her understand
She stood away from him...when suddenly the light of the lift went off
He remembered her telling him...she was scared of the dark the last time they were stuck in the lift...he went close to her...holding her..fearing she might be going through the same suffocations again...but instead...she pulled herself out of his hold...and stood calmly in another corner...closing her eyes...despite the darkness...he could see the calmness on her face
He noticed the light coming back and the lift moving normally
''Shilpa...the lift is back'' he said gently..as he watched her opening her big green eyes slowly
He found himself drowning in them...trying to find out...what's in her heart...he did hear...our eyes reflect the truth which lies in our heart...but hers were different...it was filled with indifference as if she din't care
As her floor came...she stepped out of the lift...and walked away from armaan
He stood there...thinking she did change...she prefered calming herself...other than taking his help...he bowed his head down feeling like to burst in tears
''armaan'' He heard someone yelling at him
''nikki'' he turned and watch her running him and hugging him
''armaan...damn..i missed you soo much'' she said excitedly..while all he did was pretending to be happy
''missed you too nikki..how are you??'' he asked breaking the hug
''i'm absolutely fine..and pretty excited...we got our transfer back in sanjeevani''
''we??'' he asked confusingly
''me and abhi'' she cleared his confusion
''where's riddhima??'' she asked reminding armaan about her
''i dunno'' he answered genuinely wondering about how did he forget about her
''armaan..are you alright?''' she placed her hands on his forehead checking his temperature...''you dunno where's riddhima?..she's always the first person on your mind every morning''
She was right...riddhima was always the one...his mind..eyes...heart searched every morning...but nikki missed a lot..and he knew it hasn't been the case for past two years...all he and riddhima did in this two years..was fighting...misunderstanding each other
''what happened armaan??'' she was curious
''nothing..lets go...i wanna meet that idiot hubby of yours'' he said trying to get back to his armaan form
After duty they all met in the canteen
''riddhima...i missed you all soo much?..hows anjie??''
''she's fine nikki...she went on a camp'' she answered smiling at her friend
''how are you bearing her abhi'' armaan asked sitting next to abhi
''i didn't think about it before falling in love...so now paying for it'' abhi answered chuckling along with armaan while nikki gave him an angry glare
''what about you two??..why you guys aint married??'' abhi asked with a concerned tone
''Dr shashank..doesn't think am eligible enough for his darling daughter...so the manoafying session is still going on'' he replied sarcastically
''don't start it again armaan'' she rolled his eyes at him
''You two are still the same...always fighting'' nikki laughed at them least she knew a lot changed and both armaan and riddhima knew it
''Bro..bhabs'' Sid stood on the canteen entrance...smiling
''Sid'' abhi got up hugging his brother
''where's your attitudish girlfriend??'' nikki brought up giving him a smile back
While riddhima smirked atleast someone thought like her..and maybe disliked shilpa
''she'll be here in a while'' he chuckled at nikki
He felt his heartbeat increase and eyes fixed on the entrance...as he heard sid's word...he wanted to see her...and found her entering...moving her hairs behind...he smiled at her face...she was irritated with her hairs...he watched her long silky hairs
''Shilpu baby...nikki bhabi was missing you'' Sid said in a teasing tone...which made shilpa smile and armaan and riddhima confused
''Nikki..is here...'' she said with a horror look on her face...and turned back to face her
''Sid...tell her to go away...i don't want to see her face'' she said in a serious harsh tone
while shilpa smiled...standing behind her chair and hugging her back
''I'm sorry nikki...but i was really busy ...i couldn't come with ya to meet aunty's family'' she said with an apologetic face while she persisted with the angry look
''what's happening here??'' riddhima asked confused with their bonding
''Riddhima...mom wanted to introduce her daughter in laws...to some relatives of ours...but since shilpa was busy...nikki had to bear all the oldies alone'' he said laughing along with sid and shilpa
''yeah and i had to bear all those aunties boring lecture alone'' she screamed at shilpa
Both armaan and riddhima felt awkward..at the daughter in law term...riddhima felt because...she was the rightful daughter in law of modi family and armaan felt because he din't want to accept that shilpa can be sid's
''sorry nikki..i couldn't join you..i know it was mean to leave you alone...but it was the matter of an innocent life'' she said trying to explain nikki
and they both hugged each other...forgetting the last topic
''by the way guys...there's more...Sid and shilpa are getting married in three month and i'm already inviting you guys'' nikki said shocking riddhima and armaan harder
Armaan felt his jaws tighten as he heard that from nikki...she just confirmed that Shilpa is going to be sid's wife in just three months
Riddhima looked at Sid and shilpa imagining them as husband and wife...she couldn't handle the pain...and excused herself
while Sid remembered riddhima wanted to talk to him...he left the canteen...joining riddhima and found her crying in a corner
''riddhima..what happened??why are you crying??'' he placed his hands on her shoulder
''nothing sid...i'm okay'' she wiped her tears away refusing to accept she was feeling hurt with sid and shilpa's wedding news
''Sid...why can't i imagine you and shilpa being in the same frame??...i dunno why but i feel she isn't meant for you...she's soo different...sometime she acts soo selfish'' riddhima brought up
''riddhima do you know what are you talking about'' he was shocked at her confession
''i know sid..but since i came to know you two got together...i feel that maybe she's using you'' before she could continue...she heard sid shouting enough
''that's it riddhima...you said enough...you always hated shilpa...though she never deserved that hatred...and she isn't selfish...you should know better whats being selfish'' he blasted angrily at her...while all riddhima could do was staring at him unbelivably
''sid you aint getting me''she tried to defend herself
''riddhima...i don't want to hear something against shilpa..atleast not from you...i don't want you to say anything wrong...which you will regret later on knowing whats the truth'' he stopped realizing what he was about to say
''which truth??'' she asked confused
''I was the one who decided to get engage with shilpa..and i'm happy with my decision'' he changed the topic and left...as he saw a few tears dripping off her eyes...never ever he wanted to hurt her...he loved her.. way too much...but her misunderstanding habit made him sick of her...he wondered how will she react when she will come to know the shilpa she's cursing soo much...is her own sister
''shilpa ruined all by coming back to this hospital'' she brought out
''stop blaming her riddhima'' armaan stood infront of her as he heard her words
''how can i armaan??...i was living happy'' she blasted at him
''were you genuinely happy'' he taunted
'it hurts right'' armaan asked her looking at her tears
''armaan!!'' she looked back at him crying harder..''i dunno whats happening to me''
'neither i do riddhima..but i want to ask you something'' knowing the truth might be hurtful
She was confused about his behavior ...''what??''
''do you think our relationship is the same...that it was before your wedding with sid'' this question was troubling him since the previous night...on not finding any answer...he decided to ask riddhima
''NO''...she answered genuinely...''it's not the same armaan...we fought with all to get together...but we're still not together'' she whispered through her tears
''that's what i wanted to say basket!!...our useless fights...do you remember the last time we said i love you to each other...a meaningful one...not the i love you we say to convince ourselves that all is still the same between us'' it was hurting him to say that...but it was the truth..which one day or another...they had to face
She realized...she din't remember the last time...they spent loving each other...maybe it wasn't here...last two years...all they did was convincing themselves all were the same...nothing change...they were still madly deeply in love.. but no...it wasn't the same...something had changed...their love changed...heck they themselves changed
''why do you always side shilpa??..is it because she loved you'' she asked remembering her last encounter with shilpa...where she told her she's leaving...and she knew the reason was armaan...she brought up
''shilpa loved me'' he asked questioning to himself and to her
''you din't know??'' she asked confusingly and watched him shaking his head in a no
''no riddhima...i side her..because she's right...and she was with me the time...you were busy trying to figure out you want sid or me'' he replied feeling guilty...for all the times...she handled him and he pushed her away
''armaan...i'm still confused'' she thought
''riddhima...it's high time we accept a lot of things changed between us...love isn't about trying..it's about happening...and all we are doing is trying'' he brought up the right topic
''do you feel bad for sid and shilpa being together'' he asked her and found her moving her lips in a yes
''ever thought why??'' it wasn't paining him anymore to ask riddhima this question
''i always did armaan..but i could never find the answer''
''try removing me from the picture and think'' while explaining to riddhima...he got the answer of his own question...he had to exclude riddhima..if he wanted to know why it's paining him to see sid and shilpa together
Riddhima heard her pager ringing and she left...while armaan thought about whatever riddhima told him
''Shilpa loved him''
Now he understood why did she willingly submit herself to her
Flashback
He remembered riddhima calling him and informing him about her and sid's wedding again...this time with her own will...he felt broken...how can she do that to him...after all the times they spent together...caring loving each other...she's getting married to sid again
he found himself a few bottle of alcohol...and gulped them in a go...he was still crying and finding it painful to loose riddhima when he saw someone through his window's pane
She was dancing in the rain..as if she had no pain...she reflected innocence...looking at her he even forgot his pain
when he felt her steps towards her...he remembered his lost...and couldn't help but breaking down infront of her...he knew she'll handle him...he was always acting like a jerk to her...but she was always there handling him
He felt like if he will take her support that might be hurting his ego...he heard all her words silently...and they were acting like medicine on all his wounds
''How can you say you don't have anyone armaan...i have been behind you...handling you...you never noticed me'' ...he felt her soft palm against his cheeks...showing him...he wasn't alone anymore...he had someone for him
Never ever someone showed so much of affection and patience to handle him the way shilpa did...and he realized that
As he felt her leaving him in his room...he found the loneliness making way back to his heart and filling his eyes against with tears...but again...she din't leave him alone...she stood along
He was feeling emotionally and physically weak...and tried to search for comfort in her...there he lost all his consciousness...he wasn't aware of his act
All he knew was someone was taking away all his pain away..loving him...and letting him love her...he did hear some whispers in his ears...it was soo soothing and he thought it too be his riddhima...so he replied back...he was oblivious to the effect he was having on the other person
The next morning he woke up..feeling his head paining...and he tried to thought what happened last night...he watched his dress..scattered down...and found himself bare under the bedsheet..he looked at the other
side...and found blood traces
''shit what have i done'' he thought to himself and looked at the other side's pillow and found an earring
He knew that earring...he closed his eyes painfully cursing himself...as he thought ''shilpa's earrings...dammit...how did i do that??''
He kept on cursing himself...and banging his hand against the wall...feeling like to hurt himself badly for doing such a cheap thing to an innocent girl...he ran to her room's door and knocked
he was feeling desperate to see her...he was scare...he kept on asking himself...did he force himself on her
He found her opening the door...he couldn't face her...he was feeling way too guilty he bowed down the floor and heard her asking if he want something
he was shocked at her response..she was behaving like nothing happened...she was being normal...which made him more guilty
He opened his lips and said sorry to her...though he knew sorry wasn't the word...and it wasn't enough for whatever happened
He watched her turning her back to him...''was she feeling disgusted by him'' he thought
but again she acted normal and pretending as if she's all okay...he felt his eyes teary thinking about how comforting she was the previous night...and thought he lost the last hope he had because of his mistake...and continued appologizing for whatever happened...but instead of accepting his appologies she asked him to forget about it all and not to embarass her
he wanted to look at her...hold her and cry...and ask her not to go away like all left him but he din't...he thought about her last words to him before he lost control over his senses...she wanted him to move on...and he too thought it was the right thing to do...and he promised her...he will move on
what followed encouraged him...she promised him...she's going to be there with him...if he tries enough
but once he returned back to sanjeevani...he felt guilty...he felt like he cheated riddhima by being with shilpa...so he started avoiding him...staying away from her...but that didn't stop her...from supporting him...she was always after him being his friend...and he couldn't give her anything back...
When he got intimate with riddhima and she responded to him...he got convinced riddhima isn't over him...and he forgot about his promise to shilpa
When he came to know about she's leaving sanjeevani it was way too late...neither he had the right words to stop her...nor he had the rights to stop her
but her last words..she said''she couldn't stay...watching her love move on with someone else and moving on herself is very difficult''
Back to present
Now he understood...HE was her love
Edited by Aashi_Shona - 11 years ago
Udne Ki Aasha
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