Letters From Arnav NEW 15 July

Do you remember Episode 263? The kidnapping track and he is alone tied up in a dank, dark godown. What was he thinking during that time? He certainly had alot to think about and had the time...gone was his busy billionaire corporate life. So as I watched this episode again I began to wonder what was he thinking? I looked at his face, his condition and the infamous "Khushi, I love you" scene started me thinking and here are my thoughts or I should say "Arnav's" thoughts. They will be followed by a number of letters that I feel Arnav may have wanted to say to Khushi, not knowing if he was going to live or die or ever see her again. Some may have a response or letter back to him from Khushi, not sure yet but someone suggested it and I just may take her up on her idea. Thanks, lamlee.

I hope you enjoy and if you like please push the button and leave a comment!

Long live Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon!

Arnav's Thoughts

It is dark.

The scent of dust, mold and mildew surrounds me as I inhale the musty aroma. The chair is hard against my back and ropes constrict my movement.

I am trapped.

I have been kidnapped.

Why? I don't know.

My head is foggy from lack of proper nourishment. My blood sugar must be low. I am diaphoretic. Did I take my medicine? It's so hot in here I can hardly breathe or is that the ropes tied tightly across my chest are constricting me?

I struggle to free myself, sweat streaming down my brow.

I need to get out of here. I need to go home. I need to see Khushi.

Khushi...I whisper.

My Khushi.

All that has happened between us is naught. It doesn't matter, for I love you. The gravity of this situation has made me realize this.

Khushi...

And there you are before my eyes.

Is this really happening? I smile.

You have tears in your eyes and they are flowing freely down your cheeks. You reach out and touch my face. The feel of your palm caressing my face causes me to surrender to your gentle touch.

Khushi...

I struggle to touch you but am restrained. Is it really you, I ask? Are you really here or are you in my dreams?

Khushi...

I do love you, you know even though I may not show it.

I was so angry, infuriated by the thought of you and Shyam. Infuriated that you would cheat my sister and me. I never listened to your explanations. I just couldn't, I just didn't trust you. My heart was broken the night I opened the terrace door and anger took over. Revenge substituted for love in my heart. But reality has brought me to this point.

I know the truth.

Khushi...

I struggle to touch you but am restrained. Is it really you, I ask? Are you really here or are you in my dreams? I hold tightly to a pom pom that was hanging on your dress sleeve. I grasped it and pulled as I took my passport and ticket from your hand. It has kept me going. It has kept me alive, the hope of seeing you again.

And here you are.

Khushi...

You know leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Did you know I was coming back to you? I didn't understand why I couldn't stop thinking about you, why thoughts of you kept racking my brain. I kept pushing away those nagging thoughts but I finally realized I couldn't leave you. I wanted to work things out; wanted to trust you and our love.

Khushi...

Do you remember when I was watching you the day before the wedding when you were preparing to feed all those guests? I watched you as you gave orders to the cook; I was mesmerized by you. You were setting the table and you looked absolutely adorable in your yellow, no orange outfit, was it? All I know was my eyes couldn't leave you and then you looked up at me. Our breaths caught, didn't they? You felt it too...I saw that slight smile on your face.

Khushi...

I struggle to touch you but am restrained. Is it really you, I ask? Are you really here or are you in my dreams?

The second most difficult day of my life was not celebrating with you and my family, my dead mother's birthday, you know the first- the death of my parents. I always had to go away. Running from my reality but it is you Khushi who has softened my reality. I was coming back to you. I wasn't going to London. I wanted to work things out.

But they took me. Kidnapped.

Why? I don't know.

Khushi...

All I know is that as I sit here in this chair, in the darkness with lights strobing through the window, the smell of must in my nares, tightly gripping your pom pom, is that I love you.

These may be my last words.

Khushi...

I struggle to touch you but am restrained. Is it really you, I ask? Are you really here or are you in my dreams?

As I struggle to touch you, you answer me...

It IS a dream, Arnav,

It IS a dream,

And you disappear.

Letters to follow...

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Episode 263 Arnav's Thoughts (continued)

A Letter From Arnav to Khushi

Dear Khushi,

Now that I realized it was just a dream, as I sit here tied up in this dank God forsaken place, I want you to know that I have had time to think, think about all the things I have done to you. I am sorry Khushi for all those times I treated you badly. From our first encounter at my show where I falsely accused you of sabotage, to my irreprehensible behavior as I broke your dori strand of pearls, I must apologize. You know Khushi, that with every drop of one of those pearls that fell on the ground, I actually was happy. I wanted to scare you intimidate you, but what is funny is that now I regret my behavior and every pearl that dropped to the floor. Yes, I have had time to think.

What was I doing the time I let go of your hand and you fell onto those boxes at the office? That turquoise colored paint splattering all over you and the pain that I caused when you injured your arm on those boxes, I was pretty foolish and very full of myself. I was an angry young man back then. My anger and fury sent you to dangerous places; I regret that now. What was I thinking making you direct the traffic in the parking lot in the driving rain and sending you to the guesthouse while it was under construction? Man, I am an idiot. I'm sorry Khushi, those words don't come easy for me as you well know.

But I must say that if you hadn't made the mistake of bumping into whatever that girl's name was and the juice spilling on Leeza's fur coat I would never have seen you in that red sari. I thought it was your pink lips that stirred my core, when you fell into my arms the first time, but no, you in that sari with your hair down...stunning. Khushi you looked stunning and it surprised me...something again moved inside me. Then I got angry, for you made me feel things I never felt before...I didn't want to feel, so...I sent you out into the rain. I had heard you on the phone, I knew it was your sister's birthday but I wasn't going to let you go home early. I was going to trouble you as much as you troubled me.

I have had time to think Khushi, oh yes, as I sit here confined to this chair. It's dark and dungy here, I can hardly breathe. Maybe it's my blood sugar that I am so groggy and you keep coming before me. Just an illusion, it seems. But now that I am in confession mode I might as well tell you how so many times you infuriated me but at the same time there was something I just couldn't put my finger on that drew me to you. No matter having a live in girlfriend my thoughts always found their way to you. Lavanya became a burden and I truly wanted her to go away but I couldn't let her go so easily, I couldn't reveal my feelings for you after all what were those feelings? You know Khushi, you taught me how to say sorry. I never said sorry to anyone, it was extremely hard to do. It seems now all I am doing is apologizing. Do you remember that night at Lavanya's friend's party? I apologized to you out on that gazebo. I didn't know you too had lost your parents. We have so much in common, don't you think? We are both orphans from the same town, opposite sides of the spectrum though but that didn't matter after all I fell in love with a pagal, middle class girl. I am sorry Khushi, grrr again I am apologizing; I am a real jerk, aren't I? I'm sorry for thinking you were after me for money.

You are so silly with your beliefs and superstitions. Do you remember the time that Lavanya wanted me to throw the dupatta up in the air? Supposedly whomever it lands on is the bride of that person. Remember it landed on you. I was shocked and irritated. Why did you always come before me? Your friend Devi Maiyya must have intervened even though I didn't believe in God or Goddesses. And your rituals and fasting drove me crazy; I was on the phone and looked up and there your were looking all beautiful again in that burnt orange sari, I couldn't keep my eyes off you and then all I know is that you were suddenly passing out, I caught you and gave you water, how did I know I was breaking your fast?

I guess if I had believed in the God's fulfilling my destiny or fate then I would have seen or the signs but I believed I made my own destiny so I ignored all these signs pointing me in your direction. But there is more. Did you know I had your payal for a while? I found it at my poolside, I remember exactly when it fell off your ankle. I don't know what made me hold on to it, just like I held on to those dori pearls, but I did. That fateful Diwali night, the night I helped you out of the diya circle, you looked so beautiful again in my favorite color sari, I heard that sari was suppose to be worn by Lavanya, I see your Goddess was in action again. When I saw you in the center of the dimly lit circle of diyas you glowed, illuminated by the glow of the diyas. Gorgeous. My breath hitched and my palms started to sweat when Lavanya asked me to help you out. But I acted cool and calm as a cucumber and walked to the inner pheres and held my hand for you to take. My world collided with yours as we clasped hands and I carefully guided you to the outside of the pheres. Something happened to me that night from that moment. I just couldn't get you out of my mind and my eyes needed to gaze upon you. While we were in the busy house full of guests it seemed as if they weren't there; it was only you and I. Across the room my eyes craved the sight of you and yours mine. I had found out that your payal belonged to your mom and I knew it was my duty to return it to you, so I found you at poolside lighting diyas. Silently, I walked towards you and you backed up twisting your ankle. I helped you to the lounger and with a quick twist (I learned this trick a long time ago), I fixed your ankle but while I was there on my knees before you I showed you your lost payal. I saw the shock in your eyes but I quietly placed that sacred payal on your ankle where it rightfully belonged and I walked away or atleast I tried to. When I turned I looked deeply into your downturned eyes and then I saw my reason to come forward, your eyes slowly shifted and you gazed right into my eyes, lips quivering, your hands wringing like they do when you are nervous. That was all I needed and I came forward. Khushi, I don't know what happened to me that night but I couldn't resist you. I wanted to taste your luscious pink lips. So I came forward and for every step I took coming closer, you stepped backward until you could go no further. You backed yourself against the wall. It was so quiet at poolside you could hear a pin drop, our rapid breaths and the only witnesses were the stars. I came forward, so close to you I felt the warmth of your breath on my face and when I held your face to bring my lips closer, closer still, just to taste those luscious pink lips, anticipation at its maximum, I delved in to enjoy the softness of those lips as you tried to turn away and the phone rang. What the???? You know what Khushi that damn phone broke your mesmerizing spell you had on me and my gussa overcame me. I couldn't believe what I was about to do!

And you know what happened next, Khushi. I am sorry for that. I hurt you badly when I informed everyone I was going to marry Lavanya. Those tears that flowed from your eyes stabbed me in the heart a thousand times but I wanted to hurt you for casting that spell on me.

Khushi, I have to go now. The goons are coming and I have to put my rope back on so they don't know my plans to escape. I promise I will write again soon.

I love you,

Arnav

Credit to Wiwy made for Sohar but I felt it fit perfect here for the first 3 letters!

Kyun na hum tum Lyrics, Translation (Barfi)

Dear Khushi,

It's been a week since they took me from the airport. They told me they were Airport Security and you were in some trouble outside the airport so that's why I went with them. I had already decided to come back to you. Khushi, you were always on my mind and no matter how I tried, no matter what I did, you never left my thoughts. I tried to hate you, I really did and succeeded most of the time but the moments that hate subsided love overcame me. I am sorry Khushi, I really am. I wasted so much time.

Do you remember Nainital? I thought I would kill you but the moment I lost you for those few minutes a huge fear gripped my chest. I despised caring for you in the least way, but in Nainital when you fell ill after I made you stay in the dark on that couch, (you must have been cold and frightened but I left you there all alone, you made me so angry) I felt compelled to take care of you. Even after you humiliated me in front of those village people I still felt compelled to help you. You looked so adorable in that wedding attire and the way you danced with that silly grin on your face...I don't know I felt my heart softening...just for a moment.

When the goons hurt you Khushi something snapped inside of me. How dare he touch or hurt you? The animal inside of me roared and to your defense I went. The fury I felt when someone hurt you really perplexed me.

Then we came to find out your Babuji had had a heart attack and apoplexy. I had to come to the hospital. I was compelled again, I needed to know you were all right. When I got there, there you were looking so sad and downtrodden, I knew I needed to help in some way. Little did I know that you would run to me and cry on my chest? I tried to support you by placing my arms around you, but I couldn't Khushi, I just couldn't. My hands clenched into fists, why didn't I surrender to you then?

I still pushed my attraction for you aside after all I was going to marry Lavanya. I didn't want to see your face. Why was my family crazy over you? I know now that Anjali and Nani had a hand in things; they kept you around. I tried Khushi, really I did, to get you out of my mind, out of my life but your Goddess and my family had other plans.

You know I really didn't know what love was. I didn't love Lavanya she just was an excuse for me not to feel. We were... never mind about that, it meant nothing. There was a girl once I ran into at a hotel, she had on some walking clothes, she was very excited to meet me the "great ASR- Arnav Singh Raizada" and asked to take a picture with me. She was so nervous that I had to take the selfie with her myself. I think her name was Ritu. She was pretty cute but it wasn't love at first sight. Khushi when I first saw you beyond the anger and frustration I felt, I thought, "who sent this beauty?". I don't know if it was love at first sight or was it hate that made me feel love for you?

There were many opportunities for my heart to soften. And at every opportunity we would bang into each other and your earring or dupatta got stuck somewhere on my suit or vest or whatever. Or you would get tangled in fairy lights and I had to untangle you, or one of us would fall on the other, remember when we landed on the rangoli after I fell off the stool?Everytime I tried to stay away from you, you would appear.

I have to go they are coming...

Khushi, I love you.

Arnav

Originally posted by: manee03

Awesome