Khushi had run upstairs after the dance. She closed the door and leaned against it. Her heart was pounding heavily against her chest. The minute Arnav pulled her near him her blood started dancing in her veins. She sat down by the window sill and leaned her head against the glass. She gazed into the silent night and twinkling stars.
Khushi and Arnav used to do it often. They always felt their parents were watching them from above as stars. Khushi was talking to her amma silently. She spoke of her love for Arnav, about the impossibility of the situation. Khushi didn't know how long she sat in the same position.
Arnav opened the door and came inside maybe after an hour. Her profile was illuminated against the moonlight and the faint yellow light in the room. Khushi looked like an angel against the glass. He called her name softly.
Khushi immediately turned to see Arnav. He looked tired and grim. "Why did you run away from me Khushi?" His eyes narrowed at her questioningly.
"I..woh..." She broke off not knowing what to reply. Arnav took quick steps towards Khushi and pulled her up. "Why did you get away Khushi? Why are you not yourself since I came home? What's wrong with you?" His voice turned harsh and he shook her.
Khushi winced in pain. "Arnav you're hurting me."
"And that's another thing. Now its Arnav this and Arnav that is it? You would always call me Arnie. Now suddenly I have grown two horns? Why are you so formal? Why are you distancing from myself?" Arnav's temper rose steadily.
Khushi was fed up with his questioning. She pushed his hand away in anger. "Yes you have changed Arnav. Now you are someone else. You are not my Arnie anymore. I don't have the same rights over you now. I am not yours too. Everything has changed and you better accept it." Her voice rose in anger. By the end she stifled a sob and turned away from him to hide her face.
It didn't go well with Arnav at all. He always considered Khushi his and now she talked about moving away from him. Arnav kept his hand on her shoulder and turned her around roughly. Unknowingly he took the pallu down while turning her around. Khushi was shocked and immediately crossed her arms in front of her chest. Khushi turned her face away in acute embarrassment.
Arnav felt very bad. Yet he felt a strange undercurrent of forbidden desire. His anger immediately came down and he took the pallu and wrapped it around Khushi. "Sorry Khushi. I didn't mean to. Am sorry." His voice was truly apologetic.
Khushi didn't look at him. "Just leave Arnav."
Arnav didn't have any choice but to leave her alone. He went back with a heavy heart. Things truly had changed. Khushi was turning away from him far more than reaching out to him. He was frustrated by her behaviour. He didn't know how to get his best friend back. He wanted the same Khushi who would come running out to him first thing in the morning. He wanted that Khushi who would chatter non stop and keep getting herself and him into trouble.
Khushi undressed slowly and changed into her night suit. Why did she keep getting herself into trouble with Arnav? Why couldn't she truly be happy about his life? But she knew she couldn't go on like this. It was all or nothing for her. Maybe she should apply for her masters else where and use it as an opportunity to get away from this impossible situation.
Khushi couldn't imagine anyone with Arnav. And now there was Lavanya. How will she live if they got married in the future? She shuddered at her own thoughts and went to bed with a broken heart.
Khushi was up after Nani the next day. They both prepared breakfast general chatter. This was the usual routine for Khushi and Nani. The other two were still sleeping and were nowhere to be seen. Nani prepared two cups of tea. She asked Khushi to take it up to them. Khushi took the tray and first went into Arnav's room.
She decided she would give Lavanya's tea to him and ask him to wake her up. But there was no need for all that. For when Khushi opened Arnav's door, she was rooted to the spot in shock. Two bodies were entwined in Arnav's room. They were involved in a passionate lip lock. But Arnav looked up when he heard the door open. He saw Khushi and immediately moved away from Lavanya.
Lavanya turned around leisurely. Khushi spoke before either of them could speak. "Am...am sorry. I didn't know.." She looked down at the tray. "Nani asked me to give this tea to both of you." She gingerly placed the tray on the table and ran to her room without a backward glance.
Arnav was strangely feeling guilty and embarrassed and he got angry at his own behaviour. Why the hell should he feel guilty? He was only kissing his girl friend for Godssake. And Khushi had barged in. She should have had some sense. But in his heart he wanted to go behind Khushi and take away the pained expression on her face.
Lavanya was feeling exasperated at the interruption. "ASR, what's happening? Why is it anyone just comes into your room without even having the sense to knock first?" Her frustration was very much evident in her voice.
Arnav lashed back at her without even thinking. "Shut up Lavanya. First of all Khushi is not just anyone. She can come in anytime she wants. And I already told you we have to be mindful of Nani and Khushi. This is India and we are still not married. Don't you forget that." He asked her to leave from his room and went in for his shower.
Khushi's eyes burst even before she reached her room. She closed the door with a bang and cried, pouring her heart out. Why oh why did it always happen with her? She was angry with her Devi Maiya for taking off the only one Arnie from her. First her parents and then now Arnie. Wasn't she deserving of love at all?
She didn't know when Arnav came into the room and when he sat down next to her on the bed. He turned her around and hugged her in his strong arms. "Am sorry Khushi." He didn't even know why he was apologizing to Khushi.
"I told you Arnie, I told you everything had changed. See? Now I can't even come into your room whenever I want. It's no more just us Arnie. There's someone else too and that changes everything." Her voice had thickened with tears. Arnav's hands stroked her in comfort. He swallowed his misery at the truth of her words.
"Now enough of all this Khushi. I am hungry and I want to eat only breakfast prepared by you." He deliberately diverted her thoughts.
"Why haven't you eaten yet?" Khushi looked up at him with red rimmed eyes.
"Coz you haven't eaten yet sweetie." His voice was tender and he tucked a hair strand behind her ears.
"Come lets go."
Khushi got up and they went down together to have the first meal of the day. Even as she came out of her room Khushi had decided she wanted to move out. As soon as possible.
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