Part 21- The Struggle
May be it was 1 minute or half an hour or 1 hour or 5 hours...they didn't know. They just lost the track of the time. They knew only one thing. That was the best moment of their life. And they didn't want it to end so soon. They were feeling shortage of air. Both of them broke apart. Raghu opened his eyes and that moment...that moment his sense came back!!! He saw Antara hyperventilating and looking straight in his eyes. Her eyes were teary but still there was a smile in her lips which assured him that it's ok. Raghu felt a tremendous horror for the first time in his life, He realized that he has crossed his line. He stepped back and turned around. He could still feel the heat of that moment. He was still feeling breathless. His lips still wanted more. But his mind was telling him something different. He had to control himself. Otherwise everything would be ruined. He could sense that inside him. His every fiber was pushing him toward her and his brain was telling him to back off.
Antara: What happened?? Are you ok??
Don't utter a word Antara!!!! It's not helping!!! Even your voice is tempting me!!! Don't make me a monster!!! Don't make me ruin your life!!!
Raghu turned around and said- I am sorry Antara!!! I crossed the line. I shouldn't have kissed you!! That wasn't my plan. I wanted to tell you in some way that I still have the same feeling about you as I had before. But the way I showed you that was very wrong!!! VERY MUCH WRONG!!! Are you ok??
Antara smiled very shyly and said- Yes, I am completely fine. And I trust you. You can't hurt me. And why are you saying sorry?? I gave you permission for this.
Raghu: Then don't. Don't give this kind of permission to me. It's very dangerous. It's not you !!! I know you. You are very strong and principled. Don't let the lover inside you to overshadow yourself. Whatever the reason, how much gratitude or ...love you feel for me, BUT never EVER let me do that to you.
Now this statement completely evaporated Antara's shyness.Raghu was expecting a serious conversation here. But he saw a very funny look on Antara's face.
Antara said- Ok, so you are saying that I shouldn't let you come close to me, right??
Raghu: Exactly. You can't trust me this much.
Antara: Ok, I will listen to this. But then don't complain me later.
Raghu got confused. He said- Why would I complain you?? It's me who is telling you all this!!Then why would I...
Antara: When we will get married and I will be your wifey, then don't complain that- my wife doesn't let me come close to her.
Raghu: Tab ki baat alag!!! Tab main...erm...tab tum...erm...
Antara burst out laughing. She was struggling to stand straight. Raghu tried to keep a straight face for a while but then he also started smiling. Am I a fool?? How can I make such a fool of myself?? Dumbass kahika!!!
Antara became stable and stepped forward. She put her hand on his cheek and said- I know you are a decent man. You will never cross your limit beyond a ...kiss until we are married. I know that.
Raghu held her hand and said- No you don't know. You have no idea how much struggle was needed to stop myself to go further!!!!
Raghu just said it in one breath. He didn't realize that it gave out another information about his condition.
Antara looked at Raghu in a very serious face. But that was only for 10 seconds. After that she burst out laughing again.
Raghu tried to justify his statement. He said-Wo...main wahi kehna chahta tha ke...erm...this kind of situation is handled by men very poorly.
Antara said- why?? Then she started laughing again.
Raghu: When it comes to...you know...intimate moments with beautiful girls... it should be ladki who will stop the ladka. Ok, I am messing it even more. I won't talk about it anymore.
Raghu turned around again and slapped himself mentally at least 100 times for this stupid conversation.
Antara came in front of him and said- I am sorry if I took you off guard. Mujhe samaj mein aa gaya ke tumhara halat...(tried to control her laughter)...in this kind of situation goes uncontrollable and you have to literally struggle to back off.
Raghu was finding some space to bury his face. That was so embarrassing moment.
Raghu: Topic change!!! I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Antara: No. listen na!!! You are saying that I am tempting you tremendously to go further but thanks to your self control that I am still safe and sound.
Raghu covered his ears and shouted- Topic change!! Topic change!!!
Antara laughed her ass off for at least 2 minutes and then she said- Ok, ok. I won't bother you any more about this because mera doubt clear ho chuka hai and you gave a pretty good explanation of everything.
Raghu- Oh...please...
Antara: But I am really happy to know that you respect me so much that you can't tolerate me to permit anyone to go that extent when that ANYONE is none other than YOU. Trust me!!! I never thought that our first date will be so special!!
At the mention of first date, Raghu remembered something very crucial.
Raghu: Wait here. I have something for you!!!
Antara: Another surprise kya??
Raghu: Sort of.
He almost ran to his car and returned back with his guitar. He stood in front of Antara and said- You gave me the lyrics of the first paragraph of your honeymoon song, right??
Antara: OUR honeymoon song. Well, yeah!! What about that??
Raghu: I composed that part.
Antara: REALLY?? You are FAST!!! OMG!!! I am dying to listen to that.
Raghu: Ohh...k. I am nervous!!! I mean...I haven't composed anything like ages. I don't know whether you will like it or not.
Antara: I am sure you have done a good job. What are you waiting for?? You have all my ears.
Raghu: Wait!!! Pehle you sit down.
He made her sit beside the bonfire and he sat face to face so that he could see her reaction.
He took a deep breath and then...
Peer teri keda jara ve...
Ve main ki kara ki kara...haniya...
MERA MAHI TU MERA RAANJHAN TU ...(4)
Rab hai raaji jo tu hai raaji...
Tu hi mera maula aur kaaji...
Suni suni si yeh saari rahe pe...
Tujhko tarse mere nigahein pe...
Tujhko tujh mein fanaa ho jaane de
Tere baahon mein mujhe kho jaane de...
Aankhiyan nu rende aankhiyan de kol kol
Chan pardesiyan ve bol paye na bol...
Aankhiyan nu rendee...ooo
Mera mahi tu mera ranjhan tu...(4)
He finished his song and looked at Antara. Antara's face was unreadable. Raghu was feeling like running away from there. Antara stood up. In nervousness Raghu stood up too. She came near him.
Before she could say anything...Raghu said- Sorry!!!
Antara: Yeah, that's right!!! You should be sorry.
Raghu: I am so sorry that I ruined your lyrics.
Antara: Are you insane?? You should say sorry to me because you didn't say to me that you are such a good singer. Not only you gave my lyrics such a magical music, you sang it too well. OMG!!! Where did you hide your singer self for so long?? Why didn't you tell me??
Raghu: Seriously you liked it???
Antara: I LOVED IT!!! Now, I demand to listen to your magical voice at least twice per week.
Raghu: Hein?? But..but...I am not a singer.
Antara: If you aren't a singer na, then I am not a dancer.
Raghu: Ohh...come on!!!
Antara: No, I want to listen to you now. Man, you are awesome. How come I found such a talented man!
Raghu smiled and said- Ok. I will try but you need to write the other parts of the song now.
Antara: I will. But now I am wondering that how come I sing my song in honeymoon in front of such a good singer. You will die laughing.
Raghu: Don't worry. I am teaching you na, that how to play guitar. Once you learn that, I am sure you will do great.
Antara: Man, you made me nervous now.
Raghu: You don't have to be scared of me. I won't judge you.
Antara: I know. But I have to maintain a certain standard now.
Raghu smiled and said- Mam, it's almost 10 pm. We have to go now, otherwise your Papa will kill me.
Antara: 10 Pm?? But it seems as if abhi abhi aaye hai...
Raghu: I know I am charming. Time flies with me...
Antara: Yes, you are a very charming man with self- control issues...
Raghu: Oh...please...
Antara laughed and said- let's go before you lose it again.
Raghu: I won't.
Antara: Dekhenge.
Raghu: Are you challenging me??
Antara: Nahi to!!!
Raghu: look, don't challenge me in this kind of things. It will be hazardous for you.
Antara felt shy at the tone of Raghu's voice. Raghu realized that he should shut his mouth now before he makes further mess. They got in to the car and Raghu started driving.
While Antara was listening to radio songs, Raghu was thinking ...
Anyhow I managed today. But I have to be 100 times more careful from tomorrow. I am losing it. I never realized that I am such an ass, damn it!!! How can I touch her in this way?? What if I couldn't control myself?? I invaded her private space. I am a threat to her innocence now. SHIT!!!! She loves someone else Raghu. You aren't the one. How can you take advantage of her love for someone else?? I have to take care of this!!! I HAVE TO!!!
Precap-
Antara: How can you hide such a big thing to me??
Raghu: I am so sorry. I didn't want to!!!
Edited by goodstorywins - 11 years ago
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