[A/N: Before you read, please forgive me. Because I know, none of you is going to like this. Mind well, I do not in any ounce of my own self support what is written in this one. And it goes against every grain of me. But the thing is, a story when it comes to you, refuses to be molded in any other way than how it came. So, again, I am extremely sorry.]
She settled down on the lakeside, and rubbed her arms. It was getting a little chilly in the nights nowadays, and that was why, she couldn't settle on a better time. It wouldn't really hurt that much in summer, and then, it would be beside the point.
Since she had come back, even breathing had been difficult. She had been devoid of him, and only now, realized how thoroughly ingrained was he in her veins. It was as if her existence was meaningless without him.
No matter who talked to her, no matter what they said to her... Her heart and mind would conspire against her and crop up a reference to him. She would see dreams, hallucinations in broad daylight, where scenarios of him talking to her would be played out before her eyes. And then, the moistness would follow. She would have deadpan eyes one moment and teary eyes the next.
And once his thoughts would evade her consciousness, they would not stop. It always really brought her back to only one thing: whether he was okay or not.
It was hilarious. That is if one enjoyed the dry sarcastic type of humor, then, it would be hilarious. How strong-willed, how ruthless was the persona of Kria Ghai. One would think that everything that it was, was because of herself. 100 percent self made. But wasn't she foolish to have thought of that in the first place?
Her team was made because of him. Her dreams were made because of him. All that passion, all that drive had been in her at one time just to defeat him. So yeah, the 100 percent, was never hers. It was him. It was always him.
He flexed his muscles. Couldn't believe everything would end tonight. Well, hadn't he made this decision for quite some time now? It was unbelievable... The amount of hatred he had for everything after she was gone. It was as if everything had been rendered meaningless. And that was why, it had come to this.
And what better way to remember her than be in this rehearsal hall, with one of the songs she used to love.
Love... Love...
Love... It was love that was a poison. An exhausting, controlling, destroying emotion. It was the case with both of them as well, as they remembered the accidental embraces... as they remembered the unspoken words.
Everything that love had made them do, there was no regretting that. There would be no regretting what they were doing tonight, unknown to each other. It was as if they were still connected through that red string of faith, finding each other in similar situations. They would find each other this time too, one could hope.
Because, there was no denying that. He was what gave her life a life. And she was what gave his life a meaning. Maybe, she should have realized that while leaving him. Maybe, he should have realized that sooner and held on to her. But now, right now in this moment, there was no looking back on decisions that weren't made. No... Right now was the time to make decisions.
He moved fluidly to the music, remembering the steps she had taught him once upon a time. The red was getting heavy with each passing minute, and he couldn't help but smile at that. The jarred broken mirrors of the rehearsal hall stared back at him, and he couldn't bother with that now.
She moved near the lake boundaries. It always was her favorite place. The only place which made her feel that he was near. Tomorrow, maybe the newspaper would cover this place. Well, she certainly prayed that it would take much longer than that. She didn't want him to accidentally chance upon news of this kind. He would certainly get suspicious and check.
Maybe she wouldn't read the newspaper tomorrow, he thought. His vision was blurring by the moment. And his steps were getting wobbly. The pain could finally be felt. And it was a literal battle to not scream at the top of his voice. Still, he held on. Closing his eyes for a moment, he tried to focus.
What was his life? His life had only started to mean something when she had entered. He had been the spoilt prince. No, he had been the King of Spoilt Princes. Nothing was worth anything to him. Until she entered.
That is why, now, nothing mattered again.
So now, when everything had turned to black again, what was the point of it all. That was his reason. That was his only reason to do what he was doing. He looked at his hands. More red. It was numbing now. Maybe he had reached the point where pain had surpassed its ability to hurt. Wow, he had been longing for this moment for so long. When the pain would just stop.
She twirled again, playing her part in the dance. Hadn't it been better when he was there to pair up? Of course, now she just moved to this soullessly, to the steps she could remember in her sleep. The moonlight was piercing to her eyes, and she stopped.
She breathed in the chilly air, her lungs suddenly feeling tiny. There was just no going back now. She realized why it was getting colder by the minute. She was almost touching the water of the lake. Ohh, so that was the temperature of water. Well, it wasn't as if she couldn't take it.
He touched what was left of the mirror on the wall. Sharon would be so mad tomorrow, he laughed. She personally loved the full paneled mirrors of the rehearsal hall. Well, at least he wouldn't be there to face her anger, he laughed with more mirth.
He proceeded to complete the last remaining steps of the dance. Imagining her in his red arms, he winced a little when the shards dug in his wrists some more. Well, it would soon end. He twirled her around, breathing her imaginary scent into his body, sated at least by the fact that he could remember her clearly, even though the haze before his eyes was increasing.
She bent her back, imagining holding only his hand as a body support. She knew she would let go any moment, and for some insane weird reason, she couldn't wait anymore. She wanted to be rid of it all. So, she let it loose, and made her way freely into the chilled water.
It took only a few more seconds for the haze before his eyes to completely overcome his senses. The mirrored wall which he had been holding on to for support was no more there. His hands slid down, so did his body, leaving a bloodied imprint of his hands. This was it. He rejoiced. This was it.
It took only a few seconds for the water to completely fill her body cavities. She could feel it scalding her throat, her wind pipe, her lungs, and her stomach. Yet, she did not fight. She welcomed it. She knew she didn't want to resist it. Instead, she welcomed it with all her might. This was it. She rejoiced. This was it.
"20 year old found dead in the lake on the outskirts of Dehradun City. Reasons for Suicide Unknown."
"Son of the Steel King Rannvijay Singhania, Reyaansh Rannvijay Singhania found dead in college premises. Reasons for Suicide Unknown."
Anupamaa
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