Khushi awoke the next day to the sounds of minute clutters next to her, frowning slightly, she opened her eyes to the glorious white ceiling.
The clutters stopped momentarily as she heard a small voice call out to her, "hey."
Her eyes met his, tired-looking but there, tearing away from her as he slowly moved the slick black laptop from his lap and onto the duvet stretched out under him.
"How are you feeling?"
She considered the question.
There were no waves of coldness, she couldn't feel the shivers erupting from her back, but the fatigue was still there, throbbing at her slightly.
"Better," she replied, wiping a hand across her head, "what time is it?" she asked, as she moved her hands on either side of her attempting to get up.
"It's just past five in the evening."
Khushi raised her eyebrows as she unsuccessfully plopped back down, her hands stinging slightly. "I slept for that long?"
Arnav moved over, kneeling down slightly, his hands coming to her shoulders, looking at her as if silently asking for permission. After a second he carefully raised her to a sitting position, giving his shoulders to her if she needed the support and then slowly allowing her to rest against the headboard.
Khushi grimaced slightly at the cold exposed to her skin, the duvet sliding off her.
"Yeah," Arnav said, picking up on her question, "I think you needed it though, Khushi."
She closed her eyes, the blackness veiling over him as she tried to remember what had happened.
She had had a fever-
And-
And she wasn't waking up-
She remembered how his voice had awoken her and then feel his relief at her opened eyes.
Had he-
Had he kissed her?
She could feel the lingering feel of his lips on her forehead-
And then-
Then he had made her eat, taken care of the fever-
Taken care of her.
She could feel her heart tug as she remembered the fear that had been so clearly etched upon his face-
Fear for her.
Her breath hitched as she suddenly felt the familiar warmness of his skin, his knuckles and fingers tenderly trailing along her cheek, leaving the rush of blood where it touched.
She could feel him making his way up to her forehead, his warm breath fanning the side of her face.
Slowly she opened her eyes to see him leaning over, his eyes locking to hers, watching her with an expression unreadable.
Something flickered in his eyes as they widened slightly, darting to his hand that was still placed on her forehead where the back of his fingers were brushing her skin.
"You..." he quickly retracted his hand, "you don't have a temperature anymore, I'll just," he stood up, stepping back, "just get you some water."
She watched as he whipped out of sight, raising her hand slowly to where his had been a few seconds ago.
He quickly rushed to the kitchen, placing his palms on the counter-surface, closing his eyes as he snapped himself away.
What had he just done?
The lids of his eyes creased as he shut them tighter, the softness of her skin trailing his thoughts, intensifying them as he realised that he was losing control around her.
You have no right, he thought to himself.
He had done enough to make her hate him, enough to make him hate himself.
And yet-
Yet he couldn't help find his heart weep at the thought that he couldn't ever call her his-
Because she wasn't-
He had no right to call her that-
Neither did he deserve to.
She was that one person-
That one person that affected him so much-
That one person that he loved with intensity that was so true-
So real-
He loved her today-
Tomorrow-
And forever.
*******************************
"Hello?" Arnav answered the phone, hearing Aman's voice ring as he informed him of the review of their calendar and what needed to be improved for next year's.
"We want to get a head start," his secretary insisted as he continued to blast Arnav with ideas that he had come up with, "I've sent you this year's photos, and see what we can do differently, sir," he said as Arnav ended the call, saying he would ring once he had decided.
He could hear the sprinkles of water as it shimmered against the surface from the bathroom, realising Khushi was now showering.
Striding towards his laptop that was now placed on the table, he sat down on the sofa, opening it as he saw the notification of Aman's email, clicking on it and downloading the file.
Running a hand across his face he suddenly froze at the fleeting red that was now in front of him, feeling everything else fade around him.
It was her.
Her hair blowing as the hair had circulated through it, her milky-gold skin looking vibrant against the deepness of the red cloth elegantly wrapped around her. She had a small smile playing on her pink lips, watch as it lit up her hazel eyes as they showered the photographer with awe. He leaned in closer, seeing the delicateness of her features, her high cheekbones, each lash shielding her eyes somehow defining them.
She looked stunning with the innocence that she held and the pureness that surrounded her.
He gave her a small sad smile, feeling a lump grow in his throat, as he absorbed her beauty, seconds stretching out into minutes.
The sound of the creaking of the door broke him out of the spell, his eyes darting up as it swooshed open, the twinkling sound flittering throughout the room as he watched her emerge, her hair damp with crystals of water that made it shine.
Standing up quickly he shut the top of his laptop, as her eyes swept over him, frowning slightly at his sudden movement.
He looked back down at the now closed laptop and then at her, feel his heart pull as he realised that a picture simply could not do justice.
His phone rang, the vibrations of it hitting against the glass table, subsiding as he picked it up, giving her one last look before quickly moving to the sitting room.
She peered at the laptop, moving towards it, licking her lips.
Why had he reacted like that?
What was on his laptop?
She glanced at their ajar door, watching Arnav's back, his phone pressed to his ear.
Could she just take a peak?
No, no that was being nosey, she thought to herself.
But why had he reacted so abruptly?
She bit her lip, taking another glance at Arnav's back.
Her mischievousness finally flooded in as she bent down, sitting on the sofa and quickly opening up the laptop.
The hazelness of her eyes flickered as the screen pieced into placed.
There she was.
Why had he been looking at that?
She blinked rapidly at the screen, her mind reeling-
Feeling the trails of his lips on forehead, the warmness of his fingers on her cheek-
'My concern is you'
What did it all mean?
She brushed a lock of hair from her face, closing the laptop as she did so, her heart taking off.
Night slowly faded into the sky, throwing over a black blanket in the clouds, allowing the stars to glisten in the night sky.
Walking into their room her heart pulled at the sight in front of her.
He had fallen asleep on the long sofa whilst being on the laptop, its deep blue screen lighting up his face as he slept and files sprawled across the table in front of him.
Picking up the laptop carefully from his lap she placed it on the table, shuffling the files silently as she closed its lid.
She chanced a glance at him to see he was still asleep, his neck strained slightly as he lay on the arm of the sofa at an awkward angle.
Striding towards the bed she took a pillow and approached him again, her eyes darting to his face to make sure he was still sleep.
Slowly, she raised his head and slipped the pillow underneath his head, smiling as she lowered him slightly, feeling relief flood through her at seeing him more comfortable.
About to turn around she felt something keep her hand, there, placed on the pillow, she let out a small gasp as she snapped her head back to him to see his fingers keeping her from escaping as he slept.
Swallowing, she watched as he held onto her, feel the familiar warmness flood throughout her, his skin against her's, refusing to let her go.
With tears glistening in her eyes she slowly slipped her fingers away from him, pressing it against her heart with the ache that penetrated like an opened wound.
Unwillingly she let of him and took her steps away from him, before her heart would encourage her to stop.
The clouds parted slightly as they made room for the sun's glory at it ascended high into the sky, attempting to light up the darkest of corners, but with little avail.
He woke up as the sunlight's rays hit his face peaking through the curtains. With his eyes closed, the sun's disturbance brought his eyebrows together. Thus, leading him to gaze up and turn to the side, allowing him to roll off the sofa and plop onto the floor,
"What the hell!" he muttered as he adjusted himself, picking himself up, wiping the dust off his shirt. He suddenly heard a dull ring from the table, to which he turned his head away as if attempting to block out the sound.
He groaned out loud.
Bloody Aman!
Shaking his head, he picked up the phone reluctantly, yet his entire demeanour changed when he brought it up to his face
The words 'Dr Khan' flashed across his phone.
His heart raced as he stared at it, eyes wide. Fervently he pressed the green button, and pressed it to his ear.
"Hello," he said in a low hushed voice
"Hello, Mr Raizaida?" Doctor Khan rang in the phone as he clenched it in his hand, "the r-"
"Yes, yes, they're in," her voice quietened slightly and then picked up, "if you and Mrs Raizaida could come in as quick as possible, please."
So soon?
"Alright," Arnav nodded quickly, and ended the call. He huffed swinging his arm as he threw his phone down.
He turned around facing the room, looking for Khushi, his heart beating erratically; his eyes automatically zoomed to the bed, that he found empty. He was reminded of yesterday's events, panicking slightly. He opened his mouth, ready to shout out for her, when she suddenly emerged from the bathroom.
She was wearing a blue suit, her hand tied into a high pony tail, with a couple of hair strands falling to her eyes. Her eyes found him as she shut the bathroom door behind her, and took in his alarmed expression.
"Arnav-ji?" she asked, taking a step forward.
Arnav mimicked her, taking a step towards her, closing the distance.
"Khushi, I just got a call from the Doctor," he paused, "she has the results."
Khushi's breath hitched, and then suddenly came in small silent gasps, she looked at him slightly shocked, "but I thought that she-"voice breaking.
"Yeah but she wants us there now."
Khushi nodded fixing her suit.
"I'll get changed quickly, why don't you have breakfast quickly." Arnav suggested already beginning to unbutton his shirt.
"No, no we can eat when we come back." Khushi shook her head and headed out the room giving him some space.
She entered the small living room, approaching the wide sofa. Her fingers felt the cold leather and she clenched the rough material. She circled the sofa, fixing the pillows and sat down. Her elbows dug into her knees, as her finger nails bit into her chin.
This was it
The moment she had been waiting for
She closed her eyes as she imagined Dr Khan speaking to her
Would the Doctor start off with "I'm sorry but"
Or possibly something like "There's nothing we can do..."
Her pulse thudded in her ears as she thought of what she would say
She lifted her legs off the floor and brought her knees close to her chest, rocking back and forth.
An image suddenly clouded her mind
Her body pale, short of any colour
What would it be like if she died?
She imagined how her dear sister would take the news
How she would sink to the ground, her saree crumpling at the edges
Or what about her sweet mother?
Would she chant her name? Possibly begging her to wake up?
She imagined her Amma crying uncontrollably, the pallu of her saree untidily rested on her head
"Kusi! Kusi!" she could almost hear her say
"Amma?" she whispered out loud
Or what about him?
What would he feel?
Sadness?
Guilt?
Pity?
She suddenly felt a heavy weight on her shoulder, and gasped, knocking it off.
"Sorry, Khushi." Arnav said quickly, dressed in a fresh suit, his hand in mid air. "Shall we go?" he asked nervously. She nodded quickly and stood up, grimacing slightly.
He wanted to hold her hand-
To comfort her
But as his hand itched towards her she quickly stepped away from his and towards the door.
He stood short, watched as her dupatta picked up with the air, she then turned around swallowing
"Shall we go?" she mumbled, eyes locking to his
Without breaking eye contact he stepped towards her. He stopped in front of her and was slightly surprised as she carried on looking up at him, reluctant to look away.
He then looked at her hand that gripped the side of her suit, reached down to stroke it slightly. She released her hold from the suit, and opened her palm wide, allowing him to press his hand into hers.
He squeezed her hand, and fit her small fingers between his own.
She peeked down at their hands and smiled slightly
How his large hand enveloped hers, as if protecting her from any harms way
*********************
The ride to hospital was a quiet one, yet slightly comforting.
Their fingers intertwined, Arnav not daring to let go of her, even using her hands as well as his to occasionally turn the steering wheel.
He shut the car off, leaving a deafening silence, to which Khushi retrieved her hand from his.
"Khushi?" he asked, her eyes shooting to his. "I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever happens I will be here for you."
Yet, she just looked at him with vacant eyes.
"We'll fight it together."
But she looked away, feeling her eyes begin to sting.
She closed her eyes, allowing a lone tear to tread its way across her cheek
The truth was that she wanted to believe him
So badly
Her heart sunk at the thought of him actually meaning what he said
'My concern is you'
Did he actually mean it?
But why?
What was it that would make him 'care'
She gulped try to remove the lump that was forming in her throat
She felt his hand wipe her cheek, his fingers lingering there, stroking her soft skin. She pressed her face into his face, wanting to feel his care.
His other hand cupped her cheek and just then she felt his rough lips on her forehead and press down.
Her eyes bolted open, and she saw Arnav's face close to hers, closer than she thought.
His eyes were closed, she looked up at him distinguishing every single eyelash.
Her eyes continued to look at him, sneaking down to his nose and saw he was holding his breathe, as if inhaling her scent.
"Um..." she murmured, causing him to open his eyes. "I think we should go."
He slowly let go of her, nodding, lips pursed.
"Let's go."
How was it?
I'm sorry that this is slightly slow and some of you may be disappointed
But please do let me know what you think!
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