Its been three days since that day. Arnav hadn't left Khushi's side for once. He left all of office's work in Akash's care. Whatever he had done till now had completely opposite effect on Khushi. She was just disgusted by him, convinced that he just only want to sleep with her. But tonight, she reminded him of his gravest mistake. The mistake that could cost him his love, if he didn't do anything about it fast. I am just waiting for these six months to be over, then I... I will be free of your cursed presence in my life Mr. Raizada. She had said to him when he sat beside her on the bed as she ate her dinner.
Startled, he had spoken the first thing that came into his mind, "What about Payal?" And if he had seen right, the hatred and disgust in her eyes had increased ten fold.
"She is married now and if Akash leaves her just because you said so then I think it will be good if she just get rid of this marriage where her husband doesn't use his mind. And I am not here to see that her marriage doesn't fall apart till my last breath." Khushi clenched her fingers. "Because Mr. Raizada I have a life which I think should no longer revolve around anybody like it had been till now."
Arnav tried to take her hand in his and his heart broke when she pulled it back. "I was just saying that Payal is married in this house and she's your sister then how will you cut me out of your life completely, Khushi?"
Khushi's lips curved in a small smile, "Who said I will be in Delhi after the time period of our contract will be over? I think you haven't heard me clearly the first time. Let me say it for again-My life will no longer revolve around other. For all I know I will be dead for them, might be in reality also--"
"KHUSHI!!!" His insides shook even thinking about it! How could she say that about herself?
"Leave!" Khushi said in a quite voice, She just want to be alone. She cannot have her hopes high like the last which had been crushed cruelly by him.
"You can't see me in pain Khushi and proof of it is the reason why you are lying here. Say this bullshit all you want but I know how you feel about me. Every wound on your feet screams it and just know even the thought of you leaving me or worst thinking of this world without you in it feels worst than a painful death to me Khushi!" Saying this he left the room seeking some peace of mind in solitude.
****
Now Arnav sat on the couch in the dark living room. Everybody had gone to sleep. In the dark he tried to find the light of his life. He looked ahead but there was nothing except darkness like it will be there in his life if Khushi leave him after the six months.
Today he want to find the answer to the question that had been there in his mind since he had married Khushi. Was to save Di's marriage only the reason for him to marry her? He had never gave it a thought because he knew in his heart that was no way near the truth. It was just to satisfy his cynical mind. To reassure himself that he had not changed a bit, that he cannot care about any girl!
It was there clearly in front of him, every time NK got close to Khushi he had wanted to rip his head off such was his feeling of possessiveness towards her. But he ignored those feelings inside him, labelled them as his dislike towards NK. And the when he saw them together, his bottled up feeling burst open, he just couldn't let her be of someone else's and he did what he had always done, convinced himself that he was just dong it for Di. When in reality he had to have her for himself, he had to bind her to himself for whole life. So he did!
His true feeling came out when he was drunk, when his mind was there to make decisions foe him, but only heart. And his heart did what it had always wanted to do- LOVE HER! He loved her that night with all his heart. He remember how she had reacted to his every touch, every kiss, that had confirmed that his love had been reciprocated. She had given him herself willingly, she had loved him that night.
How could he clean the mess he had created? He can't tell her truth, she would leave him without giving a thought to him! How can he make her realize what her feel for her is not lust but love?
"Chote?" Arnav was so engrossed in his thoughts, he didn't realise when Anjali had sat beside him. "What are you doing here at this time?"
Turning his head towards Anjali he said, "I just wanted to think somethings Di, wanted to clear my thoughts."
"Any problem Chote?" Anjali asked concerned.
Everything in my life. "No, Di. I just wanted to be alone."
Anjali hesitated at first, then asked, "Is every all right between you and Khushi?" Arnav looked at her in confusion. "I have meaning to ask you this for a long a time, we all wanted to, but didn't as we want you to have some time to solve whatever problem was there." Anjali looked in his and asked, "Why were you destroying everything that day Arnav? What had happened that day? I have never seen you so angry, so self hurting." Arnav looked to how vulnerable he felt even remembering that day, Khushi's words that kept repeating in his mind, putting daggers in his heart. How could she say this about herself?? HOW!!??
"Don't look away from me Chote? Tell me what happened then. And Khushi, what was that? She walked on those glasses without a flinch, just to to get to you! What had happened there Arnav, I don't understand!" Anjali's face was filled with confusion.
"She loves me Di, that what had happened there. She cannot see me in pain. She loves me so much that she forgot her pain." Arnav spoke queitly.
"But there is some problems there between you two, isn't it?" Anjali asked as she had seen the tension between them.
"Yes.." Arnav looked at her, seeking answers that he could get by himself, "But i don't how to make everything alright Di! I don't!"
"Who is at fault?"
Arnav closed his eyes, "Me!"
Anjali put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him, "Then it is your responsbility to make it right, Chote!"
His eyes had a desperation as he looked at her, "I an trying di! Believe me I am trying, but she is not believing me. How could i convince her that I am sorry Di?"
"Just show her how much you love her!" Arnav was shocked to listen to this and looked at Anjali with wide eyes. "I know that you love her Chote, have known it for a long time, when you used to shout at her but next the minute there was guilt in your eyes and the love you feel for her. I have seen the way you used to look at her when you thought no one was looking. I seen you jealous whenever she used be with Nk bhai."
Arnav looked down deep in thought. It was only him that was suppressing his feelings for him and that also was a futile. Di already knew it!
"Go Arnav, show her how much you love her. Don't hide it like you have always done." Anjali smile at him, encouraging him to not to be afraid of these feelings.
****
Arnav entered the room and saw Khushi lying on her side of the bed. He knew that she was not asleep. Sitting beside he touched her grazed her cheek gently. She continued lay still acting as if she was sleeping, but he had a mission today and he will complete it.
Arnav slowly leaned down, his fingers caressed her silky hair. He kissed her gently on the cheek. All of a sudden her hand shot out to push him away. "Get away!!" She shouted all the while attempting to free her hand that was in his hold. "Arnav, get away!!"
"No!"
"Please, Arnav don't do this!" Tears started pouring out of her eyes.
Arnav cupped her face and brushed the tears off her face. "Look at me Khushi! Look into my eyes!"
Khushi shook her head, her eyes closed. Her hands pushing at his chest with all the strength she had. Stilling her face, he kissed her tenderly on her lips. "No..!!" A strangled cry escaped her lips.
Arnav continued to kiss her gently, his lips moving over hers as his fingers tangled in her hair. He caressed her scalp all the while kissing her. After a long time, he found her body relaxing, her breathing earratic and her heartbeat thundering. Giving her last gentle kiss, he parted his lips from hers, and looked down at her flushed face and closed eyes. "Khushi look at me.." He voice came hoarse and breathless.
Khushi slowly opened her eyes, her vision hazy as she looked at his face above hers. "Look into my eyes Khushi! See what is there. I lay here open in front of you! Tell what do you see?"
She looked at him, at his eyes which held desire for her and not the lust. She found tenderness for her as she caressed her face with his gaze. But she closed her eyes, once before she had seen this in his eyes. The night of Diwali, when he had cornered her and had almost kissed her and after that he had crushed her. No! She will not come into this illusion. She will save herself! She cannot make the same mistake twice!
Khushi closed her eyes not wanted to look at him ,especially his eyes.
Arnav had seen it all. He had read her real feelings for him in her eyes, but had also seen her fear. He had hurted her too much, even before the marriage, that she can't accept what she saw in his eyes. He had lost the trust she had so trustingly had put on him even when he was nothing but monster to her. Now he had lost it and no one was to be blamed but him.
Arnav got off from her and proceeded to lay on the recliner to sleep. Today, he had to seen to what extent he had damaged their relationship!
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