Posted:
Hi guys,
For the second time, I have to say, read at your own risk.😭 I am sorry, but this is totally a sad ending OS which I don't know how to continue. Might continue if I get some positive vibes from TaaRey.
Taani OS: It doesn't feel the same anymore
Taani was sitting in the garden, waiting for Rey. She looked at her watch, and took a deep breath frustratedly. He was again late. Late for about an hour now. She was getting frustrated and angry. It looked like, her wait was getting longer day by day. While at first, he used to be so excited to meet her, now- a- days, he seemed least bothered to check with her. Day by day, he came late and more late. Her patience was really thinning now.
She understood him, didn't she? She always assured him that it was okay with her. That she understood him. She understood his passion, importance of dance in his life. But after all, she was also human, who craved for love, for attention. Even if she always understood everyone's point of view, she still was a mere human. But sadly, they cared least for her.
She sighed and relaxed her on the bench, deep in her thoughts. She was tired, tired of faking. Pretending was never her thing. She remembered, once, when she was ignoring Rey, he had told her, "Jhuth bolna nahi aata, to try bhi mat kiya karo." Even that memory, which seemed harmless, hurt her now. Where was that Rey? Who loved her, who cared for her, who knew her more than she knew herself? Now- a- days, even when she lied, told him a lie that it was okay, he would just get careless and continue in other things. And it was not okay with her. However much she tried to assure herself, that he loved her, that it was just situation's demand why he ignored her, she knew deep within her heart, the truth. It didn't feel the same anymore.
Nothing was same anymore. Everyone had their dreams, their focus now. Everyone was focused to chase their passion. And she was just the last choice, which everyone remembered only when she reminded them. They were all together with same passion, while she was all alone. She tried to keep herself busy, tried to support them in every way she could. The emotional family oriented person that she was, she gave them priority. She did everything she could for them, for their dreams, but not now. She realized that she was getting hurt day by day. More than that, her self respect was getting hurt. Seeing them, she felt guiltily jealous. They knew how to live, while she did not have any goal, any passion to follow.
Her past stood up to her. She remembered her confusions, her self searching. Even if she seemed bubbly, still, she was equally introvert. She remembered how much sad she used to be, just thinking, ki usaki ehmiyat kya he, usaka dream kya he. Because surely, it wasn't dance. Now she got it, how much stupid she used to be. The moment she found out that Rey was the one for her, she left everything. She gave him the priority. He was the first priority for her, then came her family and her... Dreams. And now, in all these incidents, she hardly remembered what was her passion, or did she even craved for something more than her love for Rey.
She always used to be different in Jodhpur. She stayed in her limits because of her conservative family, but at heart, she was par then them. She was bold, she chased her dreams. She remembered her school days, her first year at college. How much focused she was towards her studies. When she took part in any activity related to literature, no one could beat her. Whether it be debate, whether it be writing, whether it be poems. She was the best. In fact, she had somehow always been focused towards literature. It excited her. Being able to write, being able to influence the world with words, she loved it. Her teachers used to say, that when she wrote, when she spoke, it was so influential, so powerful. And she was proud of this fact.
But then she heard about Rey, and she knew in her heart, he was her Prince Charming. She felt that instant connection with him looking in those gorgeous eyes, which held such an honesty, proudness but also pain. She was desperate to find the reason for that pain, to snatch away that pain. She was desperate to meet him, to love him. It had taken months to persuade her father to send her to Mumbai. In the mean time, she had given words to her feelings. Written in her journal, written so many poems, expressing her feelings the way she did. And when she found out that he is passionate about dancing, she had felt a dread. Ek dancer ki girlfriend to ek dancer hi ho sakti he. She had started to search for her connection with dance, even if it wasn't her thing. She had tried in her own way, to have some connection with dance, done some research. But it just wasn't her. She had always been true at heart, who expressed the truth. And suddenly pretending for someone else, it felt weird.
She came to Mumbai, tried to get closer to Rey, but she knew, even if she ignored it, even if she focused on other things, she still felt that emptiness in herself. Emptiness without her passion. Now even if Rey and she were together, it felt wrong. Her existence felt wrong, because she was different. Her passion was different.
Suddenly, her eyes widened in surprise sitting in a bench alone. Realization hit her. Is this the problem? Is this why it feels wrong to be here, at the position she is? Because in her love for others, she is ignoring herself, ignoring the reason she was known for, ignoring her passion.
She stood up suddenly, feeling absolute relief. Oh, I am so stupid, she thought. How could I do this? Love is the most beautiful feeling, which every human must feel, the must feeling in life, without which I feel incomplete. But before saying I love you, I must find myself. I am sorry Rey, it is my fault. I shouldn't have done this, in my devotion towards you, my immense love towards you, I forgot who I am. But truly, I can't stay like this anymore. I cannot pretend that I am happy being just your girlfriend or my bhai's sweet caring sis or someone's friend or GS. As much as your passion is important for me, my passion is also equally important for me. I am sorry Rey, but I can't stay in a situation, where I forget myself. Of course, my love for you is just something which I cannot forget, but if I won't follow my dreams, I will forget myself and I won't be able to love you, because I won't be myself anymore.
She took her mobile and texted Rey.
"I am sorry Rey. I made a mistake. I love you, but I cannot ignore myself for that love. If I did that, I will regret our relationship forever. I will blame our relationship for downfall of my dreams, which I don't want. I am leaving. I know you are confused.
In frank words, I just can't do this anymore. Even if our relationship means the world to me, I cannot escape the fact that it doesn't feel the same anymore. Hope it makes sense.
Yours only,
Taani"
And she left for home, with a plan to persuade her dream. A girl full of dreams, who will one day be known as a very influential writer Taani Shekhwat.
See, I told you. No happy ending, even if I hate it. It is just a small attempt by me, to feel the spirit of Taani, which I don't know why I associated with her, even if we never saw it onscreen. And I know, many of you are thinking, this is not at all Taani, but as always I have no idea why I chosed these words. I really, absolutely hate this girl onscreen who is portrayed as the girl without dreams, who is not Taani, maybe her evil cousin or something, god knows who she is. This is one short attempt by me to bring back the dignity of Taani, which I want.. One phase of her which I really want to be explored. It doesn't even make sense. I am sorry if I hurt you. I showed her chosing writing over love. It sounds so stupid when I speack it this way, but hope you understand a desperate Taani lover's situation.😭😳
Love you all and I apologize with bottom of my heart, if I mess up, which is very likely these days. Okay, enough bakbak. Peace. Please share your honest views, I don't care if it hurts me, because maybe I deserve it😆.
TaaRey forever
For the second time, I have to say, read at your own risk.😭 I am sorry, but this is totally a sad ending OS which I don't know how to continue. Might continue if I get some positive vibes from TaaRey.
Taani OS: It doesn't feel the same anymore
Taani was sitting in the garden, waiting for Rey. She looked at her watch, and took a deep breath frustratedly. He was again late. Late for about an hour now. She was getting frustrated and angry. It looked like, her wait was getting longer day by day. While at first, he used to be so excited to meet her, now- a- days, he seemed least bothered to check with her. Day by day, he came late and more late. Her patience was really thinning now.
She understood him, didn't she? She always assured him that it was okay with her. That she understood him. She understood his passion, importance of dance in his life. But after all, she was also human, who craved for love, for attention. Even if she always understood everyone's point of view, she still was a mere human. But sadly, they cared least for her.
She sighed and relaxed her on the bench, deep in her thoughts. She was tired, tired of faking. Pretending was never her thing. She remembered, once, when she was ignoring Rey, he had told her, "Jhuth bolna nahi aata, to try bhi mat kiya karo." Even that memory, which seemed harmless, hurt her now. Where was that Rey? Who loved her, who cared for her, who knew her more than she knew herself? Now- a- days, even when she lied, told him a lie that it was okay, he would just get careless and continue in other things. And it was not okay with her. However much she tried to assure herself, that he loved her, that it was just situation's demand why he ignored her, she knew deep within her heart, the truth. It didn't feel the same anymore.
Nothing was same anymore. Everyone had their dreams, their focus now. Everyone was focused to chase their passion. And she was just the last choice, which everyone remembered only when she reminded them. They were all together with same passion, while she was all alone. She tried to keep herself busy, tried to support them in every way she could. The emotional family oriented person that she was, she gave them priority. She did everything she could for them, for their dreams, but not now. She realized that she was getting hurt day by day. More than that, her self respect was getting hurt. Seeing them, she felt guiltily jealous. They knew how to live, while she did not have any goal, any passion to follow.
Her past stood up to her. She remembered her confusions, her self searching. Even if she seemed bubbly, still, she was equally introvert. She remembered how much sad she used to be, just thinking, ki usaki ehmiyat kya he, usaka dream kya he. Because surely, it wasn't dance. Now she got it, how much stupid she used to be. The moment she found out that Rey was the one for her, she left everything. She gave him the priority. He was the first priority for her, then came her family and her... Dreams. And now, in all these incidents, she hardly remembered what was her passion, or did she even craved for something more than her love for Rey.
She always used to be different in Jodhpur. She stayed in her limits because of her conservative family, but at heart, she was par then them. She was bold, she chased her dreams. She remembered her school days, her first year at college. How much focused she was towards her studies. When she took part in any activity related to literature, no one could beat her. Whether it be debate, whether it be writing, whether it be poems. She was the best. In fact, she had somehow always been focused towards literature. It excited her. Being able to write, being able to influence the world with words, she loved it. Her teachers used to say, that when she wrote, when she spoke, it was so influential, so powerful. And she was proud of this fact.
But then she heard about Rey, and she knew in her heart, he was her Prince Charming. She felt that instant connection with him looking in those gorgeous eyes, which held such an honesty, proudness but also pain. She was desperate to find the reason for that pain, to snatch away that pain. She was desperate to meet him, to love him. It had taken months to persuade her father to send her to Mumbai. In the mean time, she had given words to her feelings. Written in her journal, written so many poems, expressing her feelings the way she did. And when she found out that he is passionate about dancing, she had felt a dread. Ek dancer ki girlfriend to ek dancer hi ho sakti he. She had started to search for her connection with dance, even if it wasn't her thing. She had tried in her own way, to have some connection with dance, done some research. But it just wasn't her. She had always been true at heart, who expressed the truth. And suddenly pretending for someone else, it felt weird.
She came to Mumbai, tried to get closer to Rey, but she knew, even if she ignored it, even if she focused on other things, she still felt that emptiness in herself. Emptiness without her passion. Now even if Rey and she were together, it felt wrong. Her existence felt wrong, because she was different. Her passion was different.
Suddenly, her eyes widened in surprise sitting in a bench alone. Realization hit her. Is this the problem? Is this why it feels wrong to be here, at the position she is? Because in her love for others, she is ignoring herself, ignoring the reason she was known for, ignoring her passion.
She stood up suddenly, feeling absolute relief. Oh, I am so stupid, she thought. How could I do this? Love is the most beautiful feeling, which every human must feel, the must feeling in life, without which I feel incomplete. But before saying I love you, I must find myself. I am sorry Rey, it is my fault. I shouldn't have done this, in my devotion towards you, my immense love towards you, I forgot who I am. But truly, I can't stay like this anymore. I cannot pretend that I am happy being just your girlfriend or my bhai's sweet caring sis or someone's friend or GS. As much as your passion is important for me, my passion is also equally important for me. I am sorry Rey, but I can't stay in a situation, where I forget myself. Of course, my love for you is just something which I cannot forget, but if I won't follow my dreams, I will forget myself and I won't be able to love you, because I won't be myself anymore.
She took her mobile and texted Rey.
"I am sorry Rey. I made a mistake. I love you, but I cannot ignore myself for that love. If I did that, I will regret our relationship forever. I will blame our relationship for downfall of my dreams, which I don't want. I am leaving. I know you are confused.
In frank words, I just can't do this anymore. Even if our relationship means the world to me, I cannot escape the fact that it doesn't feel the same anymore. Hope it makes sense.
Yours only,
Taani"
And she left for home, with a plan to persuade her dream. A girl full of dreams, who will one day be known as a very influential writer Taani Shekhwat.
See, I told you. No happy ending, even if I hate it. It is just a small attempt by me, to feel the spirit of Taani, which I don't know why I associated with her, even if we never saw it onscreen. And I know, many of you are thinking, this is not at all Taani, but as always I have no idea why I chosed these words. I really, absolutely hate this girl onscreen who is portrayed as the girl without dreams, who is not Taani, maybe her evil cousin or something, god knows who she is. This is one short attempt by me to bring back the dignity of Taani, which I want.. One phase of her which I really want to be explored. It doesn't even make sense. I am sorry if I hurt you. I showed her chosing writing over love. It sounds so stupid when I speack it this way, but hope you understand a desperate Taani lover's situation.😭😳
Love you all and I apologize with bottom of my heart, if I mess up, which is very likely these days. Okay, enough bakbak. Peace. Please share your honest views, I don't care if it hurts me, because maybe I deserve it😆.
TaaRey forever
Shiv Shakti
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