IPKKND SS:Sins * Thread 1*

First Previous

Page

112

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Fau Zi

@lazylad8-FauZi

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#621

What an update!!!!!!!!!! What a cliffhanger!!!!!!

Quote

inajnar

@inajnar

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#622

As much as i loved the show ...I thought in many aspects it was far fetched. Buy your story is rooted to reality And that was the essence of this update !!

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

love_for_serial

@love_for_serial

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#623

Oh my! where is this heading to? seperation.

becoz i know you being a die hard Arshi fan will never let NK_Khushi happen!

Thanks that snakewa died ! Me thinking Anjali did the honours!

Thanks for the PM!

Already waiting for next update!

Quote

VasantiLad

@VasantiLad

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#624

This is such a well narrated tale - to see things from ASR perspective makes it a hit- you ca also feel Khushi's pain its so real & raw. You are really too good. So she has gone with NK - what a twist

Quote

@flowers4u

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#625

fantastic update...wonder wt arnav will do knw...contine soon...

Quote

AllSmiles86

@AllSmiles86

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#626

Chapter 1

I fought her for making me feel, when I had been perfectly happy in an emotionless vacuum.

And finally, I fought against her when I thought she had committed the ultimate sin by betraying me.

Could it be anymore clear as to why this man, the soul of Arnav Singh Raizada, never got the chance to feel happy before Khushi. Maybe it was God's way of telling him that he is not worthy of such happiness where he suspects as everything but goodness in that soul of Khushi, whose name he is still afraid penning it down in his Sinful Diary. My heart is weeping without your small dedication because nothing will ever frighten my soul as to what the brave girl went through in New Delhi.

Chapter 2

I wasn't even worthy of breathing the same air as her.

Just couple of hours before he said he is disgusted with breathing the same air as her. What a pitiful turn. I am sorry that I have absolutely no sympathy for Arnav as this point because no matter what you don't stand and let evil has its way with a soul like Khushi, or any human being for that matter. Maybe it's because the rage I felt when I first heard the news of occurred in my motherland that's igniting such response.

He was a stupid man for trusting his lover. He is a coward man for not facing her. Redemption is as far as he was when he witnessed the crime; the glass door shall always be there for him to see it but he cannot do anything about it.

Chapter 3

"Of course. The great ASR would never dirty his hands with things like finding out where I have hidden myself. Left it to the cops, have you?

The b*****d said is right with Arnav's coward assessment.

I must say that NK's untainted view of Khushi is beautiful. And, the policemen's grossly wrong assessment about what kind of women can lure a married man is despicable yet honest. Because that's what we are made to think when you know it's far from the truth. Oh, the rage you are bringing out of me with each update. I hope you are okay with dealing readers like me who are just appalled with the recent event.

Chapter 4

She says just one word.

An yet, it means so much.

"Why?"

Maybe it's because my work lets me hear the plights of young women who go through such events and more that has me feeling apathetic towards Arnav's fervent intent in redeeming himself for the sake of someone else. But I understand his plight. I understand that despite what has transpired this man will have his hell prepared for him to relive each day till the end of times. Because it's human nature to lament on our biggest sin and I believe he has his work cut out for him.

Chapter 5

"And I chose to escape from it all. From the man who had defiled my body, and the man who had done the same with my soul..That is the true reason I was silent. Because I didn't want to be in this real world.."

Gosh, this chapter had me in tears! Absolute pain. Oh, the heart-wrenching truths Khushi was uttering with so much strength and agony. It's to be noted that Khushi's wounds are deeper than superficial cuts and bruises. She is in a love with a man who is so afraid to confront his fears of being harmed that he doesn't see he is his own biggest FEAR. How can he set aside his fear and give love and comfort to Khushi?

NK's confession is apt and very true to his character. He is Khushi-male version. Always giving yet he accepted the truth that he will never acquire the love Khushi has for Arnav. Oh, the misery human souls sometimes go through.

But I do believe that a victim of such a crime has an inherent strength, and given enough time, this is what helps them more than any other external factor.

You are absolutely right but like each incident it all depends on each person. Some come out of these incidents a lot stronger but that doesn't give the people to treat them later with carelessness and rehash events and scenarios. For all it could be a faade. It's a personal battle and it takes time than one can imagine.

Chapter 6

He gave up Khushi when he decided to go to Di to make sure she is taking in the news of her dead husband well.

Chapter 7

This woman. This strong woman. I am in awe at her ability to think clearly yet you can't help but feel as she is having an out of body experience and speaking in that manner. As if she knows such overwhelming agony will shred her over and over again and for now, she will resort to implement the avatar of a person she has been observing closely, someone who she knows in many levels yet not and someone who is best to tackle down the great ASR: ASR Avatar. How appropriate.

Chapter 8

Yes, between that monster and myself, we have destroyed the essence of Khushi, and no remorse or repentence from my side is ever going to bring that back..

The only thing that can do that, is Khushi herself.

I have to trust in her strength and resilience..

The most sincere and gratifying words spoken by Arnav. He has to trust her. He has to trust her to let go with NK and be with a friend who will help her. That's love and trust from him. He needs to do that much for her. Believe her.

Quote

DashOfSass

@DashOfSass

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#627

Hey! Read ur story in a go.. Wat a cliff hanger man! Pheww! Amazing piece of writing... Cnt bear to c Khushi wit Nk. Eagerly waitin for ur update... :)

Quote

EXPELLIARMUS

@EXPELLIARMUS

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#628

Chapter 9

I barely remember how I got to the airport.
I'm sure I must have broken every possible traffic rule that ever existed , but I don't care.
I need to get to her before she leaves, and that's all I'm able to think about right now.

I reach the entrance to the international departures terminal, and get out of my car, leaving it parked by the curb.
My eyes scan the crowd around me, desperate for a glimpse of her..
And luck is with me, for once .

I spot her almost immediately .
She is about to enter the glass doors which separate the passengers from everyone else.
And NK is right behind her.

I give myself no time to think, because I know that if I do, the sheer rage and panic I feel because of this betrayal will blind me to everything else.
I am almost running now in my attempt to reach her, but it's still too late.
She has already gone inside, and so has NK.

I am paralysed for a moment, but then I finally come to my senses and whip put my cellphone with the intention of dialling NK's number.
The phone rings, and I watch through the glass as NK stops to answer the call.
Khushi stops too, but I cannot see her face..

"Hello?"

"Nannav ? Why didn't you come to the airport, mere bhai?"

I control my anger with great difficulty, and try to remind myself that I need to talk to him if I have to succeed in bringing Khushi outside.

"I'm here now, NK. In fact, I'm right behind you."

I watch as he turns back immediately, and spots me through the glass.
He waves, and then turns to Khushi, gesturing towards the glass as he does so.
And finally, she turns around.

A small smile curves her lips upwards, and she takes one step towards me, but then she stops suddenly as if something is holding her back..

"NK, I need to speak to Khushi. Right now!"

"Of course, Nannav. We'll come back out in a minute."

I cut the call, and watch as NK says something to Khushi.
She looks up at me, then back at NK, and finally nods.
I watch with a pounding heart as they head back outside.

I still don't understand any of this.
When did she decide to go away with him?
Why did she do so ?
And why didn't she tell me?

And then she is standing before me, and I don't know where to start.
But she speaks before I can say a word.

"I was wondering why you didn't come to the airport.."

"I would have, if someone had told me that you were leaving too.."

I watch as both their eyes widen in surprise, and they look at each other before facing me again.

"What do you mean, Nannav? Her trip has been planned from one week ! Didn't you know that?"

"No, dammit! No one told me anything about this!"

They turn to each other again.

"Khushiji, didn't you tell him that you are leaving? "

Khushi stares at him for a moment, then turns to me again, her eyes still mirroring her surprise.

"I thought..I thought you already knew! I've told Anjaliji, and Jiji, and Naniji knows too! And I thought one of them would have told you already..

"No one told me anything! But then, it's not completely their fault is it? You should have been the one to tell me !"

"I told you, I thought you already knew! I told Anjaliji, and then I waited for you to call me about it, but when you didn't, I tried calling you yesterday,but your phone was switched off! And so I thought that you were deliberately ignoring me because you were angry..or you just didn't care.."

Suddenly I remember how I had turned my phone off, annoyed with Aman's increasingly frequent calls.

But surely that isn't an excuse!

"I don't care?! How the hell can you think of something like that?!"

"Nannav, please don't raise your voice.."

"And you! Why didn't you tell me that she was leaving with you when you came in to tell me that you were going today?"

"I was under the impression that you already knew about it! And I guess that's what everyone else thought as well! Anjali Di mentioned it too, she said that the news of Khushiji leaving must have hit you hard, that's why you were staying in your room all day , and not eating or sleeping well either! And when I came in to say goodbye, I did ask if you were coming to the airport , but you didn't even seem to hear me!"

"I can't believe this! You all were incredibly helpful in conveying the smallest news about her, but you didn't think that something this big was worth mentioning?"

"You didn't make it easy for anyone who wanted to approach you this past week, Nannav.Have you forgotten your behaviour? But anyway, this is all just a big misunderstanding! And there's no time to argue about this right now, we have to check in for our flight !"

The manner in which NK had put himself and Khushi together in that sentence finally did it for me.

I lost control, and I let my anger get the better of me.
When I spoke to them now, my voice was cold with suppressed rage.

"You are right , NK . There's no point in listening to your convoluted explanations of why I wasn't told. It doesn't even matter now. "

I go up to him , and in an instant, I have him pulled up by his collar.

"What matters is that you have stabbed me in the back! How can you call yourself my brother? "

"Let me go, Nannav! What is wrong with you!"

"Arnavji, stop this!"

I ignore both of them, the red haze in front of my eyes blinding me to all else.

"How can you do this ? How can you take advantage of her when she is o vulnerable?! She doesn't even think of you that way!"

Both of them go very still at my words, and then Khushi speaks.

"What are you talking about?"

I let NK go, and watch dispassionately as he stumbles and gasps.
And then I turn to Khushi.

"He was very honest about his intentions, at least. But what about you? You assured me that you think of him as a friend, and nothing more! So what is all this?"

Khushi's eyes widen at my words, but NK speaks first.

"Nannav, what exactly do you think is going on here?"

"That's obvious, isn't it? You have somehow convinced her to accept your proposal and go away with you to Australia! "

They stare at me for a moment, their faces pale with shock .

And then Khushi takes a faltering step back , and wraps her arms around herself.
I reach out immediately to try and steady her, but she jerks her arms away with an abrupt movement.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

There is anger in her eyes now, but there is pain as well.

And for the first time since I've gotten here, I begin to have some doubts .

"You've got it wrong, Nannav.."

Khushi's voice cuts across NK's , and I'm shocked by how cold it sounds.

"Nothing has changed,has it, Arnavji?"

"What? Khushi, I .."

"Everything is still the same. You still believe that you are always right. You still don't trust me, or Nanheji. And you are still jumping to conclusions without asking me for an explanation...just like what you did on that night .."

Anguish clouds her face as she refers to that horrible night..
I feel her pain, but I still don't understand ..

"What other conclusion could there be? You are here with him, in the international departure terminal , aren't you?"

"Nannav, have you noticed which airline counter we were going to?"

"No! What difference does that make?!"

"It makes a world of difference ,Nannav. Just see for yourself .."

I am confused now , and I turn in the direction from which they have just come.
And then my confusion reaches a whole new level as I see the name of the airline.

"British airways?! So what difference does that make?!"

"You were obviously wrong, Nannav. I..."

"Nanheji, please. We really don't have the time for lengthy explanations."

Khushi turns to me now, and a calmness is overtaking the pain in her eyes..

"I'm sorry that I cannot talk to you about this for too long, Arnavji. I wanted to, but I think it was not meant to be..And what just happened right now has convinced me that I am doing the right thing by going away.But we have to leave in a few minutes , we are already running late for the flight..and I have bought this ticket with great difficulty, I really can't afford to miss this flight.."

"You have bought this ticket ?!"

"Yes, I have bought my own ticket, with help from my parents. A one-way ticket to London."

"What?! But..NK said that he's going to Australia.."

"He is going to Australia. But only after he accompanies me to London first.."

"Just what is going on here? Why are you going to London, dammit?!"

She sighs, and looks at the clock on the wall.

"I truly didn't mean to hide this from you..I thought you were aware of my plans..but anyway, let me tell you know. I am going to London, because Lavanyaji suggested it. In fact, I will be staying with her for a while. And Nanheji is going with me because this is my first time on a flight, and my parents didn't want me to travel alone after..after everything that has happened..so that is the plan, Arnavji. After dropping me at Lavanyaji's place,he will take a flight from London to Sydney. And we are not eloping , despite what you think.."

I feel a strange mix of emotions right now.
On the one hand, a sense of relief runs through me as I realise that she is not choosing NK over me..but on the other hand, I panic when I realise that she is going away from me, for an unknown period of time..

"How could you even think that about Khushiji, Nannav? She has already cleared the air regarding that, and made it very clear that she can never think of me as more than a friend , and she had explained the reasons why. I am only going with her because I didn't want her to be alone.."

"But why, dammit? Why are you going to London in the first place?"

"I have explained everything in a letter, Arnavji. I wanted to tell you in person, but when I couldn't do so, I left the letter with Buaji and.."

"I know. She gave me the letter, but I haven't read it yet.."

"Everything will be clear once you read it, Arnavji. And I really hope that you will understand why I am doing this when you read it.."

"Tell me now, Khushi! I need to know why you are leaving everything behind and going away to another country!"

Her calm facade crumbles a little as anger makes an appearance in her eyes.

"Why do you need to know the reason behind everything I do? Aapko isse kya faraq padhta hai?"

"Faraq padhta hai, dammit ! "

"Why, Arnavji? Why does it make a difference to you? You have always told me it does, but you have never told me the reason why!"

"It makes a difference because.. I need to know because I...I.."

I don't even know why I cannot tell her the reason.

I know it, of course , but putting it into words is suddenly very tough .

And then, she seems to lose patience , and looks at the clock again.

"I'm really sorry, Arnavji, but we have to leave now.."

Just like before, I suddenly realise one thing.

She has said that she is leaving, but she has never told me not to follow her there .
With just one phone call, I can get a ticket on the next flight to London .
And once I'm there, I can talk to her about this, and convince her to come back.

With this knowledge, my panic lessens and my anger subsides .
I fold my arms across my chest.

"Okay then. Have a safe journey, Khushi . And you too, NK ."

They stare at me in shock , obviously surprised by my easy acceptance.

"Uh, bye Nannav.."

Khushi starts to slowly turn away, but then she stills, and turns back suddenly.

"No, you're not going to do that!"

"What are you talking about, Khushi?"

"You are planning to follow me there, aren't you ? That's why you are saying goodbye so easily now!"

I want to deny this, but my momentary hesitation gives me away.
Her eyes widen as the truth is confirmed.

"I knew it! You are thinking about coming to London !"

"You can't stop me, Khushi ."

She stares at me for a moment, and then shakes her head.

"No, I can't . But I do have one request for you, Arnavji. Can you please do this for me?"

As always, I cannot refuse her plea.

She continues as she seems to sense this.

"Before you decide to do anything, please read my letter. "

I don't know what to say, and she sighs as she senses my hesitation.

"Please.."

I take a deep breath, and finally nod.

We look at each other for an endless moment, and then she finally turns away.

I watch her until she reaches the airline counter.
When she has finished checking in, she turns back one last time .

We see each other through the glass, across the crowds .

And then, she turns away.

I lose sight of her after that, and I turn away as well.
I am pulling out my cellphone with the intention of calling the travel agent , when I suddenly remember her last words about the letter.

I sit down on a nearby bench, and pull out the white envelope.

Two sheets of paper are folded neatly inside, and I open the first one.

And then, I start reading...

Khushi's letter: Page 89: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/73774122

Edited by EXPELLIARMUS - 12 years ago

230

Quote

EXPELLIARMUS

@EXPELLIARMUS

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#629

Chapter 9 continued...

Arnavji,

If you are reading this letter, then I haven't been able to talk to you about this.

Believe me, I wanted to do this in person, but I think it wasn't meant to be..

On the other hand, I might not have had the courage to say all this to you.

I've always been a little afraid of you, right from the beginning.

I think it all began when I was working in your office,and I had to steel myself to come in to work everyday, not knowing what to expect.

When did all that change?

I don't really know.

But I do know that what I feel for you today is very different, and very complicated..

As I am writing this, I ask myself why I am doing so.

Why do I feel like I owe you an explanation, even after all that has happened?

What is this bond between us that drives me to confess everything?

There are two reasons for that.

Firstly, the nightmare I am living through right now has convinced me that keeping secrets is the worst thing one can do.

Life doesn't offer too many second chances, Arnavji.

Which is why I am writing this, so you will know exactly what is going through my mind right now.

The other reason is written in your journal.

Yes, I read your journal that night, all of it.

But at that point, the mention of that phone call drove everything from my mind.

But I remember everything now.

I also remember everything you told me that day, when I was trapped behind a wall of silence.

I was surprised to learn that you had given me those silver coins, but it also reminded me of a little secret of my own.

Do you remember those plants that you thought Lavanyaji had gifted you? Those were actually from me. I couldn't really afford them, so I had to sell one of my bangles to buy them..

But I didn't really mind, because my plan worked didn't it?

In your diary, you had written that you had seen a new emotion in my eyes, an unknown feeling that you had just discovered as well..

I don't know when I started to feel that way..

I think I first recognized it when I saw you with Lavanyaji..

I know now that it was there whenever I saw you, touched you, or felt your presence..

It was there during Diwali, when you helped me out from that circle of lamps..

But I didn't know what it was, back then.

I had no name for it.

If I had known, I would never have agreed to get engaged to that man.

As it is, I resisted my family's efforts to get me engaged for quite some time, because the memory of a pair of brown eyes always stopped me from doing so..

But I finally agreed after that night, the night of the Diwali party at Shantivan..when you made it clear that I meant nothing to you..

Do you know how it feels to see the shattering of a dream that you never realized you had in the first place?

That's what I felt that night.

And yet, I dared to dream again.

After I found out the truth about that man, and after I learned that you had broken off your engagement to Lavanyaji, I let myself dream again.

I allowed that same emotion to come back into my eyes, and my heart.

And this time, I was sure I wasn't making a mistake..

I felt it whenever you touched me, even if it was accidental.

I felt it during Jiji's mehendi, whenever I looked at the letter A in my palm..

I felt it during the sangeet, when you came into my room after our dance..

I even felt when you came to my house, and helped me serve the wedding guests..

But those dreams fully blossomed when you gifted me those bangles, and placed that bindi on the mirror..

Do you know that I still have those things with me?

But that was a mistake too, wasn't it?

I should never have let myself get caught in the enticing web of dreams..

Dreams that were rudely, abruptly shattered that same night.

I had many hopes for my wedding, Arnavji.

But none of them involved a hasty temple wedding, forced on me by a man whom I was just beginning to trust..

And I didn't even have time to come to terms with that, when I was subjected to an attack that still haunts my every waking hour, and never lets me sleep..

I don't have to tell you about that horror, do I?

After all, you were right there..

And I was foolish enough to hope that even then, you would come to my rescue.

But it was not to be..

And now, there is nothing left of my dreams .

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't know who I am anymore.

Who is Khushi Kumari Gupta?

Is she this woman who is afraid to close her eyes, because when she does, she is caught in a nightmare from which there is no escape?

Is she the woman who is unable to step outside her house , because she cannot bear the humiliation that inevitably follows?

Is she the person who cannot let a man touch her, even if that touch is meant to soothe, or comfort?

Is she the person who doesn't even remember what it feels like to laugh, and sing at the top of her voice?

I don't want to be this person anymore.

I want to be me, like I used to be before any of this happened.

But that's not entirely true either.

I've always lived for others, Arnavji.

First for my parents, and my Jiji.

And also, for you..

I even agreed to marry you for the sake of my Jiji's wedding, and set into motion this horrifying chain of events..

And I don't think I want to do that now.

I think it is time for me to think about who I am, and what I want out of life..

It is the only way I will ever get out of this living nightmare.

I have to fight, and emerge from this as a stronger, less vulnerable Khushi.

I don't know if I can do all that, but I do know that I have to try.

And Lavanyaji has just given me the opportunity to do so.

She called me after she read about the attack, and after a few days she suggested that it might be good if I was able to get away from everything for a while..

I didn't like the idea at first.

I didn't want to leave my parents , and also..you..

But then I saw that Bauji is a lot better now, and I want to help him recover..

But how can I do that if I'm not myself yet?

And so I finally decided to take the plunge, and say yes to her offer of living with her.

She has plans to help me find a job there, and maybe study as well..

I hope that I can make myself capable of helping my family, but I am also doing this for myself.

I want to make my own identity, and discover just what I can do..

I hope that you will give me the chance to do so, all by myself.

I know that you must be thinking about why I cannot do all that right here.

But I know that I can't.

This place has too many memories, too many nightmares that will hold me back.

I have to leave them all behind, and start afresh.

Which means that I have to leave you, too.

I have thought about you very often during the past few days.

I don't know exactly what I feel for you right now.

Is there a remnant of that same feeling that was there once before?

If I am honest, I know that is there, even now..

But there is anger, and hatred as well.

Yes, hatred.

An emotion I've never liked to feel before.

But I do feel it right now, even though I really don't want to.

And that is why I have to go away from you too.

Do you even know how difficult this is for me?

I really hope you understand what I am going through right now, and how important it is for me to do this alone.

Does this mean that I will stay away from you forever?

I don't think so, but I don't know for sure.

All I know is that I still trust Devi Maiyya.

If she has written it, if it is destined, we will meet again.

Until then, goodbye.

-Khushi Kumari Gupta.

*********************************

PS: New readers , please add me to your buddy list for PMs of updates.

Edited by EXPELLIARMUS - 12 years ago

411

Quote

blackdice1001

@blackdice1001

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#630

wow. i missed some chapters before and just now caught up. its very realistic how you're writing khushi"s ordeal. recovered from the initial shock but still trapped within the horrors. and now NK's pursiing her? you know, i was one of those people who pissed others off before by saying NK would be much better for Khushi than Arnav ever would be.. but now that I think there's a chance of them getting together I find I don't like it at all. Khushi IS leaving with NK right? no? sigh. I guess i'll have to wait for you to update. awesome writing juhi (Y)

Quote

1 ... 61 62 63 64 65 ... 112

IPKKND SS:Sins * Thread 1* - Page 63

Related Topics

Explore Topics