Arhi SS|New Year's Resolutions|LastPart- B&C p130 *complete!* - Page 71

Apologizing was definitely the right first step but Arnav has a long way to go because he truly makes it up to khushi and I can't wait to find out how he goes about doing it, and shocking her in the process!

That was amazing!!!

Hi Nafisa, here's wishing you and your family a Very Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year!

Part 9 " Wonder if Anjali is calling because she's worried about Arnav and knows only Khushi can get through to him. Khushi's worry that Mamiji is back to creating obstacles in the Payal-Akash wedding is understandable. Arnav's realisation that Akash's call for help had in fact rescued Arnav and was instrumental in him getting an insight into Khushi's fragile state of mind is a nice touch. Nice to note Arnav's remorse for all the pain he has caused Khushi till date and also his guilt at the potential pain he would have kept inflicting upon her so as to keep her at arm's length, thanks to his own confused feelings. His interest in Payal's wellbeing stemming from his need to fulfil Khushi's expectations of him is understandable, especially as his sense of guilt and the need to alleviate her pain is the driving force behind it. Guilt was an emotion that was good at misconstruing everything... that line says everything about Arnav's state of mind. "But this is something I have to do myself. If I can't protect her now, if I can't defend her..." he grimaced, as though his next words caused him physical pain, "Then she deserves better than to marry me." Wanted to see this Akash in the serial, rather than the silent one who let his mom get away with murder... of course, if he had stood up for his wife against his mom that would only have given his mom further ammunition against his wife [accusing her of having stolen her son or brainwashed him]! ... not the fickle flicker of fire but the steady, unwavering iridescence of a light-bulb... beautiful image that indicates his determination to be there for his wife. The truth coming out about Payal's first betrothal falling apart should give Arnav some food for thought... let's see if he has the courage to confess his role in the whole fiasco [again something that didn't happen in the show]. Well, Anjali's apology indicates that Arnav confessed to his part... thank god someone finally apologised to Khushi for the pain she and her family underwent, though it should have come from Arnav. Anjali apologising for forcing Khushi to work for them is also very much needed. He could not buy her apology. [I believe you mean he couldn't buy her forgiveness!] He understood that now. He would have to work for it. Earn it. Deserve it... glad to note his realisation that money can't buy the important things in life, that he'll need to work hard if Khushi is to accept him and the truth of his changed feelings.

Part 10 " Thought Khushi was furious and confused about why Arnav decided to confess, but she has every right to be angry when Payal's future is being decided by the elders and the two sisters have been sent away... her smile flickering as fragilely as a light-bulb nearing the end of its tether- valiantly drawing the last of its strength to remain aglow... a very apt simile of Payal at the end of her tether... she's hanging on to her self-control by a thread, not allowing her fears to overwhelm her as the elders confer. Kudos to Payal for deciding to start her married life without any secrets from Akash or his family, knowing full well that Mami could put a stop to the proceedings. Mami is looking for any excuse to blame Payal, however innocent the latter is of any wrongdoing, especially in this case of her previous betrothal falling through. Khushi had never been prone to assume the worst in people, but she had frequented the Raizadas and their personalities long enough, and intimately enough, to believe without a doubt that the ramifications would have been brutal. And they would have rested entirely on her sister's head... looks like Khushi believes that all the Raizadas would have blamed Payal... maybe, for keeping it a secret but not for anything else: they have experienced personally the pain and humiliation of a wedding being called off! Hate double standards: if the prospective groom and his slightly older brother can be present at these discussions why can't the prospective bride and her sister, both of whom had been wronged, be present? Khushi's confident inner voice reminding her of Arnav's presence seems to indicate her unflinching trust that he would set things right. Khushi noting the changes in Arnav's posture and appearance reflects how well she knows him and her continued concerned about him. Glad that Anjali finally acknowledges that her brother is flawed and that she is partly to blame for allowing his less than ideal traits to flourish. Arnav needed to be ruthless so as to pick up the pieces of his life and to rebuild it for himself and his family. We do sympathise with him for having had to grow up and for having had to give up his innocence at a very young age... that did not give him the right to judge or harm another being without knowing anything about her or her family. NK's voice of reason is a nice chance from him being usually portrayed as a buffoon... he was one character in the show who had the most integrity! Can understand Khushi's confusion about Arnav's request to speak to her... it is something unexpected when the focus should have been on Payal... anyway, experience must have warned her to expect pain because most of their interaction ended in that for her. Pleased to see Arnav reassuring Payal about her future and to note the respect he feels for her, finally understanding not only her worth but that of Khushi and even of the rest of the Guptas. Arnav maintaining that decorous distance giving Khushi the space to gather her thoughts is a nice gesture... it's another thing that such an unexpected gesture only added to her confusion... he joking to put her at ease must have come as a total surprise to her. Nice to clearly understand the fears running through Payal's mind. Also giving us a glimpse of Akash's resolution to help Payal and to maintain her dignity increases our respect for him. Trust Khushi not to react in a run of the mill manner... while Payal is singing praises of Arnav, all Khushi can think of as the reason for his uncharacteristic behaviour is that he's gone bonkers! Arnav's happiness and the warmth spreading through him on seeing a feisty Khushi returning is quite moving. Arnav asking Khushi to teach him Hindi, asking him for help, is an awww' moment... now we know why she thinks he's got a few screws loose! buy-one-get-one-free personality... good one! Except today, her faithful little inner voice, highly adept at saying what she did not want to hear, tittered to her... loved the image... it must be maddening to have all one's notions turned on their heads. That he is treating her as an equal and is letting her see his vulnerable side is something she can't get her head round, and one can't blame her for it. She's right to fear his kindness as it has been followed, more often than not, by his cruelty. It wanted to believe him...but it was afraid. Afraid that if it was broken this time, it might never be able to mend itself... poignant words! But Arnav had learnt only recently not to go by appearances- the pain in the neck had caught him off guard more than once... thank god Arnav is learning and accepting those lessons by trying to change himself for the better. The apology he has rendered Khushi will seem far easier than making amends for all the pain he has inflicted on her... nice to note that earning her trust will not be a cakewalk... should be fun if NK is the one to give a few pointers to the clueless Arnav about how he is to go on... irony that the person whom he thought to be a joke will be the one teaching him about humanity!

Am I delighted or am I delighted with the latest developments in this super awesome SS! I can't get enough of Arnav apologizing to Khushi and making up for his deeds.

yay! so there's more to come from where arnav sing raizada, the laad governor starts making it up to 'her'

It is reassuring to know how serious and Arnav is about making up to Khushi. Khushi wants to believe him, give him a chance but how can she be blamed if she finds it hard and is fumbling.

Nafi, since this is an SS, please please update this and finish it fast. Rather than keeping all these open. After that I can catch up with MDNJD and also you can concentrate on fortunate events and maybe cul-de-sac too someday.. :)

I'm breaking Part 11 up into a few shorter segments...recently I joined violin class and it's making it a bit more difficult to write a lot at a stretch. But I don't want to wait around, so I'll try to post whatever I have for all fics :)

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and commented on the previous chapters!

Here's the next installment- somehow this wasn't what I was going for, but this is what came out and I don't want to change it. Hope you guys will agree...if not, just let me know!

*Part 11 I*

"Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her"- Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

7^th January, 2012, 11.25 a.m. (morning)

Khushi was staring at him as though he had grown an extra head.

Or nine.

"Jee?" she ventured, unsure if the swish of blood rushing to her head had deafened her.

Before her, the Laad Governor regarded her with cryptic eyes, his expression as always impassive, giving nothing away about what he was thinking, what he was feeling- or why he was here, standing on her doorstep as the morning crested into noon, in the first place.

"I am here to pick you up," he enunciated once again, slightly slower, and Khushi must have been too dazed, because she could not detect even a hint of mockery anywhere, "Di called you over early today right?"

Khushi, not knowing what to do with her hands- one still clenched over the door-handle and elbow bent in such a way she seemed in the act of slamming the door in his face- busied them in brushing back the errant locks of damp hair clinging to the sides of hair, neck and forehead.

To her great consternation, his eyes tracked her movements with what almost looked like a spark of interest.

"Haan," she quickly stuttered out, his appraisal making her nervous; when his wandering eyes refocused on hers though, she found that the fluttering in her chest only got worse. "She...she did...but we-"

"It's ok," he interceded, and once again Khushi was left floundering in the absence of the impatient bark or sardonic scoff the statement ought to have come with, "You can take your time getting ready, there's no rush."

There was no helping it. "But why?"

The Laad Governor, however, remained unruffled.

"Why what?"

"Why...?" Khushi began, and when she discovered the dearth of words available to her to explain the confusion that he had left her with the day before- the questions that had stockpiled in her mind and niggled at her subconscious, demanding answers and not sparing her a moment's respite, she resorted to planting her hands on her hips instead, "You know you could have missed us? We were just about to leave and-"

"Yes, I can see that," he cut her short again; but this time, there was a hint of emotion in those deadpan features.

A flicker of amusement in those contours, as his eyes once more took in the drenched strands of hair falling all over the place, the damp towel slung carelessly over her shoulder, and the fact that she was still dressed in the cotton salwar-kameez she preferred to wear at home.

At the twitch of his mouth, Khushi felt her face burst into colour, and she could not help herself from snapping crossly back, "It takes me only five minutes to get ready, OK?" And as he continued to harbour that maddening ghost of a smirk (or a smile, her inner voice considered), she attempted to shift them back on topic, "But that's not the point! We didn't know you were coming to pick us up and-"

"That does not matter now, does it? I'm here, you're here, so what's the problem?"

It was clearly a rhetorical question, but Khushi had to bite her tongue to keep herself from blurting out that there were problems.

Many, many problems.

Such as the painful intensity of her dhak dhak.

Or the sizzling burn of her acidity settling into the bottom of her stomach.

Or the fact that seeing him in the flesh, after her snoozing brain had cooked up countless fleeting images of her that had fled from the dawn as the darkness did before light- it had all been as disorienting as the time she had started seeing him everywhere- from real life in auto-rickshaws and collecting laundry, to her bizarre daydreams.

Which she also did not want to think about.

But Khushi kept biting her tongue, because she would rather go on a sugar-free diet for the rest of her life than have him hearing even a whisper of her private collection of secrets.

Instead, she said, "But...but don't you have work today?"

Still with a hint of (what gullible strangers might mistake for) humour, the Laad Governor shrugged. The motion was so casual, for a man dressed as though he were going to rush to work at all hours of the day, (not to mention a man who usually displayed only a handful of standard emotions and otherwise behaved as a robot disguised as a human being) that it made her dhak dhak skip a beat.

"I took some time off until the wedding."

Famous for being melodramatic, Khushi would nonetheless swear that there was nothing staged or extravagant about her reaction.

She gasped, spluttered, and when she spoke, she was sure the disbelief thick in her voice reflected the new heights her eyebrows were reaching for.

"You took time off?" she asked, incredulity in the beat of every syllable.

In complete contrast to her sudden astonishment though, all the Laad Governor did was quirk his own brow at her. "Is that so odd?"

Her answer fled from her before she could stop herself, "Yes!"

Now the arch of that eyebrow was becoming more defined, but, and Khushi swore it was with the sole purpose of mystifying her, the upturn of his mouth did too.

"You think it odd for me to take time off for my brother's wedding?"

"Yes," Khushi confirmed emphatically, and then added, as an afterthought, "Well, maybe not for a day or two- but the wedding is still weeks away!"

The Laad Governor shrugged again; it was becoming a disquieting habit of his, it seemed- far too familiar, and far too casual.

It was baffling the living daylights out of her, and making her acidity worse, until she had to refrain from doubling over to clutch her stomach in an attempt to staunch the tingling burn.

"I need a break too, sometimes," he pointed out, and for a moment yet another emotion shone through the veil of expressionless-ness- and it frazzled Khushi so much that she steam-rolled blindly ahead, sticking doggedly to the argument to prevent her mind from analysing what that look had meant.

Because whatever it was, it was not helping her heartburn.

"Aapko break lena aatha bhi hai kya?" she retorted, a part of her wondering why she was having this conversation with him in the first place, while the other, caught in the punch rush of this match, this debate, whatever it was supposed to be, was struggling to recall the reasons she should have walked away, no questions asked.

But there was no denying that the questions were there- ever since that night when he had pinned her against the wall in the dark, and stared into her eyes as the clock ticked to midnight, she had been stacking those questions hastily out of sight, but that had not helped. The pile had not diminished, but had climbed higher and higher, loose bricks loaded in a slipshod, careless heap, teetering dangerously-

-and those words he had spoken to her had given them the last shove.

I am so sorry. For everything...

And it did not matter whether or not she attempted to stem the avalanche as it cascaded over her, buffeting down on her defences- her pent-up confusion was leaking out of the cracks, and she could not stop herself from thinking about it.

About his actions.

About his words.

About these...these changes, these nuances of difference, tucked and hidden everywhere about him and enticing her to discover them, one by one...

And it frightened her. Made her wary- guarded.

Because she was not supposed to want to know. She was not supposed to want to find out. She had determined to stay away, needed to stay away, and her reasons were legitimate- she could not forget them.

So she chose the easiest possible route available to her to avoid seeking answers she was not sure she ought to know- she distracted herself.

"I bet you'd still be working at home anyway," she mused, bending all her concentration into keeping this argument alive- an argument over something so unimportant, so commonplace and absurd, that she could deem it safe. Perhaps a part of her half wanted him to lash back- half wanted him to hurt her again, just so she could be jolted out of this hazy limbo where her priorities were close to becoming blurred, "Do you even know how to relax?"

He appeared to consider her for a while then, and Khushi wildly wondered whether her unspoken wish was going to come true.

Whether he would revert to his old ways and yell at her again.

Unexpectedly, her heart dipped a little in her chest.

But before it could plummet any further, he had set one foot through the threshold, and she had barely started to scamper back when he calmly told her, "Well, maybe you can teach me how when we're taking breaks from learning Hindi."

***

"No, not this one either Buaji!" Payal shook her head vigorously, rejecting the saree her aunt had just pulled out of the trunk without even looking at it, "There was another one, right? Another one with the embroidery on the side that looked like flowers-"

"Payal bitiya," her mother, flustered, continued rifling through the trunk lying open at the foot of her parents' bed, strewn with fabric in a range of colours and designs and patterns, "That's too vague! Can't you be a bit more specific?"

"Can't we do this later, hai re Nandkishore?" Buaji grumbled, dumping another mass of sarees on the bed, "Aren't you getting late for rehearsals at Shantivan? After everything that's happened-" Buaji shared a meaningful look with Amma, "It's best to keep things as normal and uncomplicated as possible-"

"Haan, Buaji, par-" Payal chimed in, half her mind frantic with the need to keep both her aunt and her mother occupied and within this bedroom, the other half curious and rattling off possibilities and hopes and expectations of what might be happening beyond their living room. She sent a short prayer of thanks to Devi Maiyya- if she had been another second late, Buaji might have walked out of the bedroom before she had and discovered Khushi at the open front-doors- with none other than the Laad Governor, who allegedly had multiple personality disorder.

On any other day, Payal would have hurried over to Khushi's side, anxious from the connotations of Khushi's rather aggressive looking stance- but she had refrained.

They were talking, and although she did not know what they were talking about, they looked- almost normal, or as normal as they could be, having a stand-off on opposite sides of the threshold and forgetting their surroundings in the process.

No longer awkward and anxious, like the strangers they had been in the past few days.

Maybe, Payal hoped, a warm bubble of excitement bouncing round behind her ribs, Maybe this could help Khushi get the closure she needs...so she can move on.

But in the process of helping out her sister, Payal had landed herself in another mess.

"Um- woh-" Payal fumbled, struggling to concoct a viable excuse and envying Khushi's ability for spinning tales, "Um, actually- the choreographer!- said that it would be best if I wear a violet coloured saree for one of the songs and...um, it's better that I get some practice in, right? Because I'm not used to dancing like that in sarees...and also, it needs to be washed too, right?"

Amma and Buaji swapped another look between them, this time a helpless one, and returned to the task of rummaging through the massive trunk for a (non-existent saree), while Payal, hopeful still for her sister's prospects, prayed nonetheless that she and her Laad Governor would wrap up their little meeting quickly.

The curiosity and the stress were going to grey all her hair before she got married.

***

Khushi studied him for a long moment, the globes of soulful coffee-darkness searching and serious, and Arnav did not move a muscle in the intervening seconds.

She was as fluttery, as nervous as she had been the afternoon before- a butterfly hovering over flowers swaying too much for it to settle down. She would come close enough, sometimes cautiously, sometimes obliviously- just near enough to make him feel hopeful, but then, as though startled back into sensibility, she would rocket out of reach again.

Chary and uncertain and diffident.

He deserved no better, he knew, but it bothered him nonetheless.

He missed her.

He missed the Khushi she used to be, before his actions had contorted her into a warped reflection of herself- the audacious, outspoken girl that never feared him or his name or his reputation and would never shy from leaping into the fray to stand up for herself. Confident in herself, and fearless of him- she had treated him as an equal, and he had resented being placed on an even playing-field when he had spent so long carving out the summit for himself. Resented it so much that he had pushed her off.

And he could think of nothing but sheer persistence to pull her back again.

To convince her to not just hear him, but listen to him too.

Listen to what he was saying, and glean its meaning in all its candour, and imbue it, assimilate it into her system.

After some of the longest seconds of his life, Khushi finally spoke. She no longer exuded that jumpiness that had been evident in her manner even as she sparred with him, hedging around the edges in her prudence- instead a steady, quiet determination took the place of her fidgety movements and the faint shadow it cast of the Khushi he so wished to bring back made his pulse pump a little faster.

"Arnavji...are you doing this because of...because of what you said yesterday?"

The question was vague, but Arnav did not doubt that he had cottoned on to what she meant.

Nevertheless, he asked, "What did I say yesterday?"

He wanted her to revisit the moment- he wanted her to remember his words and say them herself, and feel their weight and their gravity upon her own tongue. He wanted her to taste their sincerity for herself and believe that he had meant all of it.

Khushi tugged on the ends of her loose hair, which had by now begun to dry and curl back into those soft little ringlets that had so entranced him when he had seen them on New Year's day, and even now, in the midst of a situation as tense as this, they did not fail to fascinate him.

They were somehow very personal- somehow very natural, something that existed behind what she presented to the rest of the world, and perhaps it was as flimsy as an imagined connection, but it helped him feel just a little bit closer to her.

"When you said...when you said...that you were sor-ry..."

***

He had said sorry before. Khushi needed to remember that. He had apologised to her before, and he had never been anything but earnest in those rare, far-apart moments, and she valued his apologies and enshrined them in her memories.

But alongside them also existed other memories that soured that happiness, the peace, she had carried away with her.

Her heart pined to forgive him, but this time it was not her heart but her mind she was heeding, and her mind was conflicted- befuddled and muddled and lost. Caught between the clarity of finding answers to her questions, or the illusion of stability in ignorance.

Arnavji did not appear to be fazed by what she had asked of him- rather, the lines of his face somehow seemed to stand out much more sharply, giving his face a graver cast, and his brows drew together- but Khushi did not feel herself recoil.

She did not feel threatened, did not feel afraid.

And as she was left to puzzle out yet another "Why?", Arnavji made to take a step forward- but then moved his foot back.

Standing where he was, a good foot or more away from her, Arnavji bent his head forward.

"No," he admitted quietly, and Khushi, without really understanding what he meant, felt her breath catch and her heartbeat speed, "I am not doing this because of what I said yesterday."

And without giving her a chance to think up of more "Whys" to agonise over, he told her, "Yesterday, I said I was sorry. I meant it. But I'm not here because of a show of apology- I'm here because..."

Pause.

"Because I...I wanted to. I wanted to drive you home...and to bring you back, if you'd let me."

Please leave your thoughts, I love reading them!

Next segment should be up soon too :) Next chapter of MDJND is also underway- it's going to be a big one, I'm pretty nervous and excited and everything :P

I reserve all rights over this work of fiction and request readers do not reproduce/copy/modify it elsewhere and/or claim credit.

Am I the first one? 😲

well he is just confusing her
she wants to believe him
but then she remembers what happened last time she did that
get her hopes high before he brutally squashed them
so its only normal for her to be wary of him
she rather not jump to conclusions again and be heart broken again
cant say i blame her
thankfully arnie is trying and that counts
if nothing else his persistence will help out
but poor payal
having to keep her amma and buaji away from arhi had gotten herself into a soup
well she wants them to have their chat or what ever in private
and that aint possible with her amma and buaji being in their vicinity
well it seems his persistence might just work
but of course it shall take time
cheers for pm