EHMMBH FF: *||SSP #2: Update ~ pg. 134||* - Page 90

Chapter 39: How to be just friends 101

She didn't know how long they lay there for, but whatever amount of time it was, it wasn't enough. When she was with Virat, no amount of time was enough. She wanted to lay here, in his arms for longer than ever; for a forever that didn't disappear with death and reincarnate with life. A forever that wasn't measured by time, counted by seconds or limited by minutes, a forever that needed no breath to live; a forever that meant love. But, even if she searched the deepest, darkest corners of the Earth, she wasn't sure she'd find that that forever existed. Love to her had always seemed like those fairy tale-like stories in books where the guy looked like he'd take a bullet for the girl. She'd never even expected to find someone that she could love to that extent, possibly even more. She didn't even realise she had this much love within her to give. She never knew until she had found him, and now that she had she wasn't sure if she could open herself to him despite the eagerness she had within herself to do the same. It wasn't that it seemed wrong, if anything pushing herself away from him was felt the most wrong, but it felt frightening; the thought of losing him again, losing herself, losing love, losing happiness... losing everything, everything she had already once lost. She didn't know if she had it in her to lose it all again. But then again, often she asked herself what exactly she was afraid of losing? Something that was never hers in the first place? Virat... was he really supposed to be hers? Was he supposed to matter to her? Should he matter to her? After the rejection she had faced she failed to understand why she still loved him. She wished she could hate herself for loving him, but even that wasn't possible because loving him felt so... right. She had spent so long trying to hate him during the initial days she had arrived at Chandigar, but she just couldn't and she didn't even know why. She felt a string continuously pulling her towards him, binding their hearts and souls. And now here she was in his arms, finally as close to him as she had ever wanted to be, she still felt so distant. Just friends. That word killed her. She didn't want to be that far away from him; she didn't want their relationship to be labelled as friendship because it wasn't. It was love, but that four letter word stripped her free of happiness. Love, the word that was supposed to give happiness had taken it away with just as much pain. Maybe it wasn't Virat that she was afraid of, maybe it was love.

Ready to get up?' his voice was a whisper, but she could still hear the love hidden inside it.

Maanvi nodded reluctantly. She wasn't ready. Oh well. She was used to going against her will.

Hey there, best friend,' he whispered, kissing her cheek gently. She loved it how he was so gentle with the people he loved.

Maanvi smiled. Classified lover or not, he would always be her guy. Maanvi sat up but Virat pulled her down immediately.

What's wrong?' she asked urgently.

We're still sleeping with each other, right? While the whole just friends thing is rolling?' he asked, the need in his voice subtle but still evident.

I don't know. Do friends sleep with each other?'

Yes. I mean, no. But we did.'

Maanvi looked at him quizzically.

Don't you remember? After college one day. We stayed the night with each other-'

Please don't remind me of that now,' Maanvi pleaded.

Why?' Virat chuckled.

That was the most beautiful night of my existence.'

Why?' Virat chuckled again.

Shut up, Virat. Stop being cheeky,' Maanvi smiled.

Cheeky is my middle name.' He winked at me, that knowing wink.

Just another reason why I love him.

So back to what we were initially talking about, I can't really sleep without you.'

It's been a while since we established that,' she smiled, shuffling into a more comfortable position in his arms.

So?'

So?'

So we're still sleeping together?' he asked, his voice gentle and soft.

Maanvi sighed. I don't know Virat. Do you think we can? Without... without... '

Damn it. Why was it so hard to say?!

Virat hesitated. Can we try?'

We can try,' she nodded. And it was settled.

It was hard getting out of bed for both of them, well actually it always was, but today was even more difficult knowing the moment they stepped out underneath of the doona they'd be just friends. They did eventually let go of each other, dragging themselves out of bed. It was already midday.

Virat?'

Hmmm,' his response was instant, soothing. She often wondered if he knew that. That she found her love for him in the smallest things he did.

What do friends do? Like, what did we do, before we fell in love, that was unromantic?'

Virat chuckled, Because everything about us was always so damn romantic, wasn't it?' he winked.

I... no... I didn't mean... ' Maanvi blushed.

Virat chuckled again. Well here, let's do this.' He grabbed a piece of paper and a black felt tip pen and divided the page in two. On the top of the left hand column he made a big tick and on the top of the right hand column a cross. Then he sat Maanvi and himself down on the bed.

Maanvi looked at him confusingly.

Right. Let's start with the don'ts. What can't we do?'

Kiss,' Maanvi's response was insant.

WHAT?!' Virat's voice was filled with surprise.

What?' Maanvi's almost laughed at his outrage.

What do you mean we can't kiss?!'

Virat, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but friends don't kiss.' Maanvi snatched the marker from Virat's hand and wrote down KISS' in capitals underneath the cross. Okay, what else can't we do?'

Have sex,' Virat suggested.

Maanvi punched him, hard.

Ow! What?!' he looked at his girl's shy face. Oh fine then, whatever, make love.'

Just when Maanvi thought she couldn't blush more she proved herself wrong.

Look at you fan gurling over me. I know I'm damn sexy but at least try to control your emotions.' Virat laughed just as she cuddled into his arms.

He took the marker from her hand and instead of writing what he had previously suggested under the cross, wrote down hug' underneath the tick.

What the-?'

Virat interrupted her. Well seeing that you just threw yourself in my arms I think hugs are acceptable. Oh come on!'

Yeah, fine,' Maanvi rolled her eyes and then snatched the marker back from him writing underneath the cross make love. Okay, what else?'

We can hold hands,' he suggested, taking the marker from her and writing it out. And we can, well we are, still sleeping together,' he stated firmly, penning that down too.

Maanvi glared at him.

Unromantically, of course,' he winked. And, about showers... '

What about showers?' confusion hit Maanvi.

We can shower together,' he shrugged.

In your dreams,' she tutted.

Oh it already is,' Virat smiled that Virat-ish smile. What was up with him and making her blush today? Just friends, Maanvi. Just friends. But just in thinking that, the urge she had of moving back to bed with him was one she could not deny. Maanvi wrote shower underneath the cross, almost angrily, and he chuckled again.

We can go out together?' she asked.

On dates?' he answered with a question, inching closer to her.

Stop being an idiot. Just casually, going out like we used to. To eat and have fun,' she explained.

And what exactly is fun for you-?'

Virat. I. Will. Slap. You.' And with that she wrote slap underneath the tick. Then he grabbed the marker and added go out underneath slap.

Okay. What else is unromantic?' Virat pondered.

We can talk,' Maanvi shrugged.

Ha. Ha. That goes without saying. As if I'd be able to survive a moment without your bak, bak,' Virat imitated.

Oh shut up, Virat. Back on track.'

Okay well you're still staying in my - our - room, right?'

Maanvi looked indecisive.

Maanvi, if you're sleeping with me you can stay in the same room too,' and Virat was just about to write it down when Maanvi stopped him midway.

Virat, maybe not. Maybe we shouldn't. Not the sleeping part, just the being in the same room. I don't think I could be around you 24x7 and just be a friend. Maybe separate rooms would be best?'

Virat sighed. Maanvi pleaded.

Fine,' Virat was reluctant but he didn't really have a choice. But if you come back here and you find me dead it's probably because I didn't have you around me enough.' Maanvi yanked a pillow and hit him with it so hard that they both fell back on the bed, Maanvi on top of Virat. Their legs immediately tangled, as usual. And what about the legs?' Virat asked, wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her to him.

Legs?' Confusion hit her again, but Virat didn't need to explain further this time. She eventually understood. It's not like we can control what we do in our sleep,' she sighed.

You say that like it's a problem.'

It is, right?'

Not really. Sleep will be a nice break from friendship.'

Hey, why all the cheekiness today?' Maanvi asked finally.

Oh it's in my blood, baby,' he winked, again, and pulled her closer.

Virat,' she warned, observing their proximity, Friends.'

But the list says we can still hug!' he pointed out, his voice desperate.

But we're on bed!' Maanvi reminded him.

Oh so what?! We never established that location affects or determines what we can and can't do.'

Well, since you've brought it up, let's!' she said, with a huge grin on her face.

No,' his voice was firm.

Yes,' she repeated.

Okay fine. But if we do we have to move kissing from the don'ts to the dos. Deal?'

No deal. No way,' Maanvi's response was instant.

Sorry, then location will not affect our romance - I mean, actions.'

Ugh, fine,' Maanvi couldn't be bothered. Let go of me now.'

Virat smirked. Since we've been so close for most of the day, maybe we can just start the friendship thing from tomorrow?' He moved his lips closer to hers.

You wish,' and with that she pushed himself off him. Okay so the list is ready.' We should probably stick it up here to remind us.'

Oh yeah,' Virat said, sitting up, And if someone walks in we'll just explain to them that we can't make love because we're trying to be just friends.'

First time you've said something logical in the whole day. Well done Virat,' she congratulated him sarcastically.

Oh shut up you,' but he couldn't control the chuckle that followed. We'll put it in my pillow case.' With that he grabbed the list and slid it inside his pillow cover. There, done. And when we sleep we'll tack it up on to the wall so we can see it.'

Uh-huh,' Maanvi was content, but not so much in favour of the silence they found themselves in afterwards.

So... um, what now?' he said, finally breaking it.

Maanvi sighed. I should probably move my stuff out of our - your - room.'

Virat nearly let out a growl. Do you really need to?'

Virat,' Maanvi warned. We decided this like five minutes ago and you're already stepping back.'

No, actually I am stepping forward. That list of don'ts is what is stepping us back,' Virat reminded her, throwing an arm towards the pillow cover.

Maanvi walked towards him and cupped his face, And trust me, when the time comes I will be the first one to get to it and rip it apart for keeping me away from you.'

You'll never be away from me,' Virat reassured, Never.' He took her hand and held it against his heart. Always in here,' he whispered.

Maanvi tried to stop the tears welling in her eyes.

Hey, you can hug me, remember?' he suggested. He knew being in his embrace made her feel safe, at home.

Maanvi punched his arm lightly and Virat welcomed her openly when she fell into a hug.

And remember,' Virat's voice was turning cheeky again; We still have sleep.' Maanvi punched him again but he just used the movement to pull her closer.

And from that moment on they were both determined that they would undercover this friendship to reveal the love that was hidden inside. The unbreakable bond they shared.

***

Once Maanvi had moved everything out of their room she sat on her bed unable to ignore the loneliness surging around her. To be completely honest, she had no idea what to do.

Just a couple of hours, then it will be night and the warmth of his arms will be all you ever know.

Just then he stormed in. Maanvi, I have no idea what to do. I feel dead without you.'

Then, with somewhere between a sigh and a growl, he threw himself on her and they rolled together in bed.

Talking about amazing timing.

I was-'

Oh, hi Priya,' they both said in unison as they saw she had realized just what they were about to do.

Maanvi pushed herself away from Virat immediately, as if his touch burned her.

What the heck?!' Priya's mouth made a huge O'.

What?' Virat asked, his brows crossing.

What the heck were you two doing?'

Actually you're better off asking what we were about to do,' Virat explained. Maanvi elbowed him. Owch! What was that for?!'

Don'ts,' Maanvi's voice was firm.

Virat rolled his eyes in frustration. What do you want Priya?'

I was wondering why Maanvi moved out of your room?' she asking, eying them both with equal attention.

Maanvi looked from one side of the room to another as if she could find the answer written on one of the walls. And Virat just turned his full attention to Maanvi as if waiting for her to respond.

Great. Hang me up to dry, won't you?

Um, we - I mean I... I mean... erm, like we just decided... ' Maanvi took a quick, deep breath. Virat had too many clothes in his wardrobe and I needed more room so I just shifted in here! We're still sleeping together!' she blurted out.

What?' Virat and Priya's voice came in unison.

You know what Virat, it's 6 and I'm not hungry for dinner and won't be in two hours and to be completely honest I just want to sleep so see you in yours,' and with that Maanvi was off the bed, past Priya and in Virat's room.

She was tucked under the quilt completely when she heard his footsteps, then the door closing and the familiar sound of the lock clicking shut. She braced herself.

Just friends.

Okay the wardrobe was an okay excuse seeing the amount of time you had to think,' he started, but why did you need to add on that we were still sleeping together?' he asked.

Maanvi through the quilt off her and suddenly realised that all she was wearing was a t-shirt and undies. Then she threw it back on her again. She covered up her blushing with angriness. It was like you were both on the same side! And I don't know about you, Mr Virat Vadhera, but I hate it when I'm on a different side to you!'

So, getting to the nuts and bolts, you felt jealous.'

No! I never said that,' she fumed.

But that's what you meant,' he said wisely, as if he had brought up the most significant point in the freaking universe.

I'm tired,' she said nothing else to say.

Maanvi, honestly, it's just past six,' Virat pointed to his watch.

So WHAT?! Can't a person be tired earlier than bed time?! Ugh!' she threw the quilt back over her head. It was only a matter of thirty seconds before he was in bed, or on bed, with her. Maanvi couldn't deny that she felt slightly nervous. It was obvious, their proximity proved it in fact; that they didn't want to be friends because that was something they had passed ages ago. God, they'd probably passed love too. They were just each other's life, full stop.

God damn it Maanvi, just friends. I can do this.

No I damn well cannot!

There was a war going on inside her. Nothing was making sense.

Kiss me,' her voice was faint, but whispered in plea.

Maanvi, we just decided-'

Kiss me, Virat. Just once.'

Maanvi I won't be able to stop,' truth reflected in his voice.

I'll stop you.'

Maanvi no-'

For God's sake just do it!'

Screw it.

His lips were on hers. She had won. He closed the final distance between them. He didn't even know if they'd be able to stop, but honestly he didn't care right now. Friendship could wait a little while more, they had to live this love to get them through all the days of friendship that awaited them.

As his lips moved against hers she realised that this was her Virat. The Virat who murmured against her lips when she kissed him back. The Virat who wasn't afraid to pull her as close as she wanted to be. The Virat who was aware of the consequences but loved her irrespective of them. Maanvi's legs found their way around Virat's back. Making a sound, somewhere between a sigh and a growl, he whipped her shirt off and then somehow his was off too. They kissed for little while longer, never long enough. And then she felt it, the feeling of him trying to push her away because he knew they wouldn't be able to stop.

No! No!' she screamed, More!'

Maanvi, shh, come back to me.'

No Virat don't!' she cried, pulling him closer. Don't stop!'

Maanvi, jaan, it's okay. I know how it feels. It's killing me too. But not now. We're not ready,' he whispered, soothing her while entwining his fingers in her hair. It's okay.'

It was the freaking first night and she'd already broken the don'ts.

Splendid.

Virat laughed, as if reading her mind. Go to sleep Maanvi, before we break the making love rule too, because we're already half way there.'

Maanvi laughed.

Thanks,' she whispered. I love you.'

We should probably add that to the list of things we're not allowed to say to each other for some time,' Virat suggested.

No way,' and Maanvi's voice was firmer than anyone's had ever been.