OS: The Silent tears - Page 6

The Silent tears 2:

The day of Karvachaud…

It was nearing the evening and she had been ready waiting for him dressed in one of the sarees that he gifted her, with right designer jewelry looking gorgeous in her own pure way. All the ladies of the house have indulged in their own preparations as her eyes scanned the main entry every now and then.

"Khushiji, chand nikal rahee hai, tayyar hojayiye" Anjali said as she walked in the hall from the terrace hurriedly calling everyone.

Khushi glanced at Anjali and then at the main door "Di, voh"

"Chote ajayenge khushiji, aap chaliye, wahan sab kuch tayyar bhi toh rakhna hai na, aap kitnee dher bhuki rahengee?" she said as she encouraged khushi to go upstairs. "Sheethalji chaliye aap bhi" Anjali called and Sheethal made her way with her thaal in her hand passing khushi. Khushi just observed her and looked away deciding to herself that today is surely not the day to think nonsense, her mid should be pre-occupied only with Arnav and it sure did. Since morning, she was being very much positive and had been awaiting the golden moment I which he would break her fast. It meant a lot to her, as and when she would close her eyes, she would imagine him feeding water and food to her and at each such imagination she prayed to her devimayya to give him long happy life.

She knew for sure whatever nonsense she could think, no one ever can steal this moment from her, it is her right. She believed the obvious facts, she is here, he is here, very much together, she fasted for him, he would eventually come home and break her fast, he is ought to do that and no one can ever change that. With all these things going on in her mind, this particular day mattered to her a lot. She awaited the beautiful moment of her husband breaking her fast, in a way making that auspicious promise to her, she hoped it might finally keep her insecurities away. She prayed to her Devimmayya, --"Hume pata hai, aap sab kuch acha hone dengee" she said and closed her eyes in front of the Mandir before quickly making her way to the terrace.

**

Mami, Payal, Khushi and sheethal stood together facing the moon in that order as they waited for their husbands while Nani and Anjali stood aside with their genuine smiles. As the time ticked, the wait was getting longer. If khushi's stomach tortured her, she was too pre-occupied to notice it. She glanced to her left at Sheethal and understood she was feeling tired.

"Sheethalji aap shurun karlijiye na, koi baath nahin" she suggested encouragingly.

"Its okay khushi, sab ek saath manarahe hai, toh thodee dher aur I can wait" she said and khushi let her be.

She turned her head away from Sheethal casually and it was in that fraction of second, that khushi felt Arnav's presence around her and before she could register it—she heard his voice uttering Sheethal's name-- and by the time she could take a look at what's happening around, Sheethal fainted flat on the ground--Arnav got to her side immediately--everyone surrounded Sheethal uttering her name,--Arnav sprinkled water on Sheethal's face and before Khushi could even understand what's going on—in the next moment Arnav caught hold of the water nearby and made her drink water--all happened in a mere 5 minutes and Khushi's world collapsed in front of her.

While everyone still uttering Sheethal's name, she seemed to be gaining back the consciousness, khushi was standing still in her place, a nerve in her body dint dare to move and her mind cells were stuck. Memories of the last year's Teej played in her mind all of a sudden—

The way she was about to faint..

The way he sensed it from far away..

The way he came at once running to her..

They way he kept her from falling…

They way he lifted her..

They way he fed her water..

--and then her vision blurred with tears.

Anjali was standing on the outer part of the group that was surrounding Sheethal and when Sheethal gained consciousness finally, her eyes busy thanking god, randomly landed on khushi who was standing still in her position with her thaal in her hand and her eyes glued to Arnav and Sheethal. At first Anjali did not understand why the ever so caring khushi is unlikely not right beside Sheethal helping her, but when khushi started taking small steps behind still looking at Arnav, Anjali somehow registered what just happened and panic was the least possible word that she could describe. She gasped as realization dawn onto her and she exchanged her glances between Khushi and Arnav.

When Arnav finally finished checking on Sheethal after 2 minutes as Nk helped Sheethal to her room, he turned around to see a bewildered Anjali staring at him unbelievably.

"Kya huwa di?" asked an oblivious Arnav, nani and mami around him having the almost same expressions.

"Yeh tumne kya kiya chote?" Anjali almost but uttered in a sudden developed angery voice.

"What?" he shrugged not getting a anything.

"Tumne Sheethalji ka vrat thoda hai chote, voh Aarav ke pita ke liye vrath rakhrahee thi" Anjali screamed and it was Arnav's turn to be shocked.

"What???? Main bas paani--"

His words were cut off when they heard a thudding sound on the ground. It was the sound of Khushi's Taal finally falling off her hands and blasting on the ground along with it,--her Karvachoud's auspicious things. It then finally dawned onto him and he looked up at khushi only to find her in tear strained face, the look in eyes a mirror indication of her mind, the look that held hurt, that held helplessness and more than anything it spoke volumes of her denial thinking which scared the shit out of Arnav.

"Khushi main--" He reached out to touch her she moved another step back.

"Tum aise kaise karsakthe ho chote, tum yeh kaise bhulsakthee ho ki tumhe khushij ka vra--"

"Di mujhe nahin patatha ki Sheethal—" he trailed off not being able to keep himself or accept himself in such a situation. He kept staring at khushi, not taking his eyes off her while she looked lost.

"Khushi listen to me, I'm sorry, but it doesn't mean a thing.. I don't believe--"

"Lekin Khushiji ko vishwaas hai na chote, unhe mahine rakhtha hai"

At that statement as if someone induced the living lights inside her, khushi sobbed a little and Arnav looked at her as panic took over him. He closed the distance between them instantly and this time caught hold of her arms sternly to not let her move.

"Khushi" He called out holding her tight. Her eyes were looking past him into the distance.

"Khushi!" He all but screamed again, she dint respond at all.

"Khushi, you have to understand, mujhe in sab ka koi matlab nahin hai, I was just trying to help her, khushi, Khushi?"

His grip on her arms tightened but she dint even wince in pain as she should, realizing which his panic reached heights. He bought his hands onto her face—"Khushi look at me, Speak to me dammit! Khushi?" he said holding her face and forcing her to look in his eyes.

She finally blinked the tears and looked in his eyes. "It doesn't mean a thing Khushi, tum please aisa mat socho" he said calmly trying to look beyond the hurt look in her face, it tore his heart into million pieces. He thought he was trying but somehow knew nothing is pacifying her at the moment.

"Koi mahine nahin rakhtha?" she finally spoke genuinely asking him for answers in that broken voice.

He was relieved hearing her voice but something inside him was at the verge of collapsing, he couldn't see the constant hurt look that she held.

"tum mahine rakhthee ho, baki kuch bhi nahin, it doesn't mean a thing" He said holding her face in both his hands meaning it with every word and trying his best to take away that look in her face, but he can only see himself failing.

"aapko koi faraq nahin padtha?" she asked this time her voice sounded more clear and slow. Suddenly it appeared to him that she no longer is talking about what just happened. All the 'Faraq padtha hai' scenarios happened between them started playing in his mind, and he realized this is just not about Sheethal and what just happened.

"Tum ho toh faraq padtha hai khushi, tum mujhe ghalath NAHIN SAMAJSAKTHEE!" he said the last part with his teeth gritted as his mind skipped back to the airport when he was determined to leave and she said the exact same words, his heart sank deeper.

"Khushi, you have to understand, tum ye—yeh ye sab seriously mat lo, please khushi, it don't have to be that way dammit!"

She then smiled that bitter sweet one sniffing back the tears, and brought her hands on to his that held her face—bringing them down away from her face. His eyes travelled along his hands going away from her face and then back to her eyes, he was scared.

"Khush---"

"Theeke Arnavji, aap kehethe hai toh theeke" she smiled again. "hum zyada drama nahin karenge" she said

"Who said drama?--"

"Hum.." she started and trailed off trying to let go of his hands and when at the tip of his fingers gripped that of hers and his nodded to and fro a little—he dint know what else to say, if she argued, he knew to argue back and convince her, if she was upset, he knew to talk her out of it, if she was hurt he knew to love her, but what is she going through now? All of a sudden he felt lost too as if without her?

"Hum theek hai Arnavji, kuch dher akhele rehna chahthe hai" she said and without waiting for his answer, turned around and disappeared in the next moment from the terrace. All he could do was stare at his hands that no longer held hers and then at the door from where she vanished away.

"Yeh ghalath huwa chote, bohath ghalath huwa" Anjali was more talking to her own self totally and completely understanding what Khushi might be going through. Nani made her way towards Arnav and caught his face in her hand, "Hum jaanathe chote, jo kuch bhi huwa anjaane main hi huwa, par jo huwa use nasar andaaz karna khushi bitiya ke liye asaan naahin hoga chote" she said as Arnav looked down not knowing what to say or what to think.

**

Back in their room, the first thing khushi did was lock herself behind door, dragged herself along the door bringing her knees to her chest and cried out loud, she let all those tears out that she had been holding since god knows how long and sobbed for dear god.

Kyun nazren teri yun anjaa hai, ankhen hai mere bhi nam..

Kyun paakar bhi tumko khoya hai, hum kyun na banpaaye hum??

Kyun dard hai itnaa, tere hi ishq main, rabba ve, rabbave, rabba ve, rabbave...

To be continued...

(next or probably last one coming up tonight..)