"Hasde zindagi" - laughter of life
A short fiction depicted on the idea of recognizing the love of those closest to you.
Arnav singh raizada a man of ruthless reputation, rich powerful, dominating, business minded and practical. The motions of weakness, love, emotion meant nothing for him.
The only thing he cared for was his family, his sister, his empire and his reputation, all else was at his disposal. All this changes when Arnav finds himself doubting his lifestyle when an incident from the past flashes by his eyes . The pillar of strength and practically within him begins to gradually fail him. A sense of hurt, loss, insecurity and a general question on the character he had become begins to bother him. When all seems to fail him he finds himself looking at his life from another angle where there was love, laughter, life in the form of his wife Khushi.
Chapter One of Four
Another morning in the life of khushi kumari gupta singh raizada. A newly wed bride if you could still call it that. 6 months to be exact since she had married into Raizada house but her love for the family, the way she was everyone's favorite person in the house it was like she had been apart of the family for years. Everyone was fond of her even mami who pretended to be a little indifferent but she too had a soft spot for khushi. The only real distance was that between herself and her husband.
Khushi had married her boss she'd only known him for a few weeks before they were married but she knew of his personality very well. He wasn't one to get close to people, He didn't believe in the notion of love, he had married her purely to keep his sister and his family happy and that was ok with her. Well that's what she told herself anyway because she too had married him to keep her family happy but the difference was she was ready to fall in love with him.
She couldn't deny that she had become attached to him , the fact that he didn't replicate her love nor even acknowledge her at most times was hurtful but the happy go lucky nature that was natural to khushi would never let that upset her for long. She went on caring for him and her love for him built day upon day. The distance between the two of them ment khushi hardly saw him, he spent majority of the day in the office even when he was at home he was preoccupied with work. Conversation between them was very little, most of the time khushi would want to initiate the conversation, talk about her day..or something casual but he was too busy. The conversation ended up consisting of routine questions from khushi to do with his medication and food intake and the response was mostly one word answers and even then she felt like she was disturbing him and got out of his way or just stopped talking. Even though there was this distance khushi had still grown feelings for him. She had fallen for every little thing about him, even the silence in the room when he was around was comforting and it was no different this morning.
As khushi watched him turn in his sleep as she entered the room trying to silence the sound of her jewelry as not to wake him she watched how rays of morning sunlight shun into the room causing him to turn on his side. She loved walking into him sleeping in the morning..he seemed at peace, something that she saw a lack of when he was awake.
Walking towards his wardrobe taking gentle steps as not to disturb him yet the bangles on her hands still sounding khushi slides open the door of the wardrobe carefully. Looking through the array of formal suites she picks out a white and black three piece combination and puts it in front of all the other suits and closes the waldrobe. He didn't like other people selecting his clothes for him so this was khushis way around it, she knew he'd always pick the suit that was at the front and that suit was the one she picked for him every morning whilst he was asleep.
'
Whilst being all multitasking, khushi runs around the house, making various combinations of breakfast when hariprakash comes into the kitchen with the housephone. Khushi answers the phone with an excitement when HP tells her that it was her buaji yet when she hears of her farthers sudden turn of health khushi falls silent.
Khushi walks up towards the bedroom, the distress seen in her expression. She had already informed dadi and di of buajis phone call and that she would be leaving to visit her babuji soon..but the person that she had to inform above all was him.
She walked into him sitting at his recliner talking over his Bluetooth whilst typing something on his laptop. He seemed busy. Dressed in the suit she had picked for him minus the blazer. The way in which he had sensed her presence paused his conversation over the phone however continued working whilst acknowledging her was the way it always was. She never got his full attention.
"Kuch bolna hai?"
Khushi looked towards him hoping that he would take his eyes of the screen but that was wasn't so.. hesitating a little she begins talking.
"Driver ko bol do woh tume chor de ga..i'll let Aman know he'll take care of any bills."
"Woh..buaji ka phone tha..babuji ko hospital mein admit kiya gayay hai---" "Even before she could finish her words he had spoken, whilst walking around the room adjusting his attire, swinging his blazer around his shoulders and putting his files in his laptop bag.. Kushi couldn't get a word in edge ways and before she managed to he had walked out of the room. "Agar aap'saath chalte"
Realizing that he had left khushi falls to a silence and turns to walk out of the room only to see Anjali stood before her. she had just witnessed there conversation. Her eyes were filled with concern.
Dressed in a pale yellow Anjali was probably one person bar paayal that khushi was closest too. even though Anjali never spoke of it she knew that khushis relationship with arnav was very distant.
Making her way towards khushi, stepping into room with that slight limp from her childhood injury Anjali notices a certain disappointment in khushis eyes.
'.
"Khushi ji aap fikar mat kare ham abhi chote se baat karte hai.." just as Anjali is about to turn..khushi stops her. "Nahin di ..une paresh mat kijyey..ham chale jayeynge.." she didn't want him to feel obliged.. nor did she want to be of an inconvenience. She was hoping that he would read that anxiety in her eyes and accompany her for moral support because she needed someone by her side but she didn't want it forced upon him.
'
Later that night khushi waits up for Arnav per routine. Lying on her side of the bed khushi wouldn't sleep till he was back just because she liked to know that he was home safe before closing her eyes but today that wasn't the only thing that was making her feel restless. She had visited her farther In hospital in a very vulnerable condition and more upsetting was the fact that her mother seemed to be slowly breaking down. Flashbacks of her mothers tears, the worry on buajis expression and the conditon that her farther was in scared khushi. She needed someone to tell her everything was going to get better, someone to comfort her, be with her at this phase but she was all on her own. As her eyes tear up momentarily khushi eyes the clock at the bedside table.
She had been waiting a while for him now but this wait had become routine over the past few months. As khushi lay on her side of the bed she viewed his dinner which she had bought up earlier, covered under a tray on the table by the recliner.
Half an hour or so later'khushi opens her hardly rested eyes at the sound of the door of the room opening, that sound alone, the incoming footsteps provide a comforting reassurance to her uneasy mind. She watched him walk into room in a fairly loosened version of his morning attire. khushi watched him throw his blazer onto the recliner headrest and slouch back into the chair having unbuttoned the top view buttons of his shirt.
Khushi gave it sometime before she quietly moved out of bed..seeing in him in deep sleep..khushi approaches silently..carefully removes his shoes one at a time from each foot and puts them to a side. Walking towards the headrest khushi picks up his abandoned blazer normally she would put it in its rightful pace in the cupboard but today it gave her a sense of being close to him..holding into to her face for a moment..khushi could sense the fragrance of his aftershave lingering in the material..and embraced it tightly feeling her eyes tear up.
Next morning as arnav singh raizada..walks towards the breakfast table, as ever dressed shaply in formal attire. khushi had picked out a blue combination this morning. Seeing him wear the clothes of her choice put an instant smile on her face as she watched him from the breakfast table. Whilst she prepared his place at the head of the table khushi happened to catch a glance of naniji stopping him part way towards the table. All she wanted was for him to take a little prashad from her visit to the mandir but he bluntly refused leaving nani disheartned.
Sitting down at his seat on the breakfast table..he fails to acknowledge khushi who stands behind his chair having served his breakfast. Nor did he anknowlege anyone else for that matter apart from the one good morning he used to address all sitting at the table. Sitting at the opposing side next to aakash..nk has his laptop sat on the breakfast table..trying to type something or other but struggles. "Nannav tum hamesha laptop ke saath khelte rehte ho..kya tum meri madat karoge??..muje hindi mein letter type karna hai.."
Arnav pulls some irritated glares at at nk "phele theekh se bola sheekho.." offended by his words nk mumbles something or other under his breath an leaves the table. Khushi feeling bad for nk tries to stop him but fails.
Leaving aakash and payal at the breakfast table in an uncomfortable silence.. aakash was wanting to speak to arnav about something for a while now..his eyes trailed towards khushi for a little reassurance ..just as khushi is about to try and put aaksah off mentioning anything at this point in time, its too late..aaskash had already started talking. The way in which aakash's tone was a little hesitant it was clear that whatever it was wasn't good news.
"Bhai woh..hame aapse woh singhaniya ki deal ke bare mein baat karni thi.".
Talk of business and Arnav pauses whilst eating to give his full attention to the conversation.. "I'm sorry bhai lekin mein woh deal final nahin kar saka..it fell through.."
Irriation growing on his expression..the extent of anger in his voice could be heard clearly'worrying payal..more than anyone who feels like she was responsible. "Phir se..!! if u'd stop behaving like you're on honeymoon all the time you might get some work done!! Jab se tumari shaadhi hue hai tum koi bhi kaam theek se nahin kar rehe ho..! im trying to run a business Aakaash its not joke!!"Thankfully Arnavs phone interrupts just in time which leads him to set off for work but engrossed in conversation over his phone he totally overlooks his sister who tires approaching him .
"Chote kya..tum aaj ke din chutti le sakte ho??.." not taking any notice of her..anjali is left annoyed and walks off..which is seen by khushi. As Aakash also makes his way to his room clearly disturbed by the way he had tempered is brother..payal is left at the table looking even more uneasy.
As payal too gets up from her seat and begins to clear the table along within khushi. Khushi couldn't help but notice the worry on her sisters face.
Kya hua di..??
"Woh..khushi jabse ham is ghar mein aayey hai hamne dekha hai..arnavji ko hamse naarazgi hai. woh hame pasand nahin karte .." khushi couldn't believe Payal felt that way and tried to reassure her that it was nothing of that sort. "Nahin jiji aisi koi baat nahin .."
..
Later on as Arnav drives to work he stops at the new sight at which work was ongoing. He had just brought the rights to a derelict house in the perfect location. Just as he steps out of the car and begins to talk business with Aman whilst bulldozers and work men continue there work arnav is distracted by the sounds of children protesting.
Seeing a small boy and girl being dragged out of the house by some men..images of the past flash before his eyes.
Flash backs of sheesh mehel ...his uncle throwing him and his sister out on the streets he relives in a moment.
Seeing the same flash by his eyes..he orders aman to stop whatever was going on instantly. Aman tries to explain but arnav was having non of it . .
"ASR woh batche site ko vacate nahin kar rahe the toe'" passing a deadly glare..Arnav turns away to his car.."Either find another sight or find another job the choice is yours."
Driving plagued by both his past and what he had just witnessed Arnav halts the car sharply..and a closes his eyes for a moment to try and calm the intensity of his thoughts. Reopening his slightly reddened eyes..arnav looks out of the widow of his car to find himself stopped close to the mandir his mother used to bring him to during his childhood.
He remembered distinctively those mornings when she would walk him to this mandir and insist that he enter but he never did. He preferred to sit at the white bench outside the flight of marble steps and even today he had done the same.
An elderly pandit who was going about his devotional duties pauses as he catches the sight of arnav sat looking lonely..something told the pandit that he was the very boy who would sit there on a daily basis almost 15 years ago.
"Tum arnav ho naa'?"
Looking up to his side Arnav recognizes that voice..those eyes.. but peffers not to speak, standing a second later..arnav is just about to walk off when that voice stops him.
"hamne aapki maa se vaada kiya tha ke kabhi bhi aap bhool se bhi..yaha aakadhe toe ham aapko sahi raah dikhayeyge."
The mention of his mother and something in arnav gives away..turning back he takes a seat..next to man.He never spoke to anyone about his feelings but..today they seemed be so easy to put into words. "Aaj jab mein aapne aap ko dekhta hoon, muje wohi sab dikhayey deta hai joe mein kabhi banna nahin chahta. Ive become exactly what I wanted to avoid being. "
"Yehi tumari galti hai beta'" taking a silent moment to himself he then looks towards the elderly man who smiles at him with a mix of intrigue and confusion on his expression.
"Apni nazar se nahin..dusro ki nazar se apne aap ko dekho, tum kisi ke bhai, bete, pati ho. Kabhi unki nazar se apne aap ko dekho.Unki aankhon mein tume woh sab dikhega jo tum apne aap kabhi nahin dekh paaonge.. "
'.
Late into the night..that same day..khushi sits up in bed watching the clock strike 11.30pm, hugging a below close to her chest..as she sits in bed..the sound of somebody approaching the room puts a faint smile on her face.
As arnav enters the room, khushi couldn't help but notice..a distressed expression..tired heavy eyes. Khushi watches him walk out to the poolside instead of going about his normal routine.
As khushi walks through the open shutters towards the poolside she sees the back of his posture.. as she picks up his blazer that lay astray on the poolside recliner..he turns towards her ..and she cant help but notice the existence..of what looked liked tears filming his eyes. she was speechless, she had never seen him this way before..
"Thakh gayay hoon" was the only thing he said..before walking past her into the room, she knew there was something significant bothering him for him to behave this way.
As khushi lay in bed ..arnav rested on the recliner apposing the bed, eyes shut yet very much still awake..his right arm rested above his head in an arched fashion'images of earlier flash by his eyes..the priests words..echo in his ears and images of his family begin to play in his mind. Flashbacks of past and present.
The next morning ..and as per routine khushi is up early in the morning, dressed in a shade of vibrant green, carrying a wet haired look just having come out of the shower'khushi carefully walks out of the washroom trying her best not to wake him. little did she know that he was already awake, he didn't get much sleep during the night, laying on his side of the bed..he turns his expression slightly to take note of khushi who walked to towards the dressing table unaware that he was watching her from this distance. she perfected her saari, ran her hands through her wet hair..pulling it over to the front of her shoulder. He watches her hook her mangalsutra around her neck..and then apply sindhoor to her parting. She did so with so much attention, like it ment the world to her. as khushi goes on getting ready in front of the mirror arnav takes a turn on the bed still very much awake yet his back to her now..
A few minutes later as he feels a faint touch at his feet from over the bedding..he takes a tense swallow knowing that khushi had just touched his feet catching a glance of her..sweeping her forehead with the palm of her hand.. Arnav closes his eyes regretfully thinking of all those mornings she had probably done the exact same yet he had never acknowledged the gesture even once.
''
9.00am in the kitchen as khushi looks at the clock and still no sign of him. Arnav who usually leaves for office at 8.30 sharp is late? A little worried by the way something seemed to be bothering him last night, the way she had seen tears in his eyes constantly clouded her mind. Should she go and check on him?? but she pushed it to the back of her mind as the rest of the family expected the khushi they were accustomed too and if something was really the matter he would proably share it with her if it deemed appropriate.
..
Meanwhile upstairs..as arnav finally finds it in him to face the day'having walked out of the washroom he pulls open the cupboard and looks at the suit he had seen khushi pick for him this morning. He planned not to go to work today, he needed to time to clear his mind..re-evaluate things. going for more casual attire..he couldn't help but think back to khushi this morning..and decides to wear the attire she had chosen for him.
Having waited for him..for some time now the family starts breakfast without him. As arnav walks down the staircase..dressed in a slightly imfromal version of the suit khushi had picked out for him. A blue shirt to which the sleeves are rolled up slightly with complematary tie and waistcoat.. he stops the way in which..his family laughs amongst each other..seemed to be having amusing chit chat. He notices how payal and aakash are sitting hand in hand'how nk and maami are having some confused hindi/English conversation..and khushi ..khushi is sat ..at his chair cutting fruit into a plate but animatedly singing something or the other.
As he walks down towards the breakfast table all he can hear is khushis voice the rest of the family had noticed him and gone quite.
"Aaj mausam hai suhaana..breakfast karne ka hai bahana ..la la la lala..!!!!"
Arnav had never seen her this way before..what was she singing?? A little confused but amused as well his expression is a little lost..
nk who sits on khushis left.. tries to shush her.. "khushiji..nannav.." as nks eyes point to behind khushi..she freezes for a moment..looking a little in shock realizing she was sitting in his place.she gets up from the chair at once. Straightens her posture, a little red with embarrassment and even scared of the way he would react khushi draws her eyes to the floor at once..
Arnav notices the way everything goes silent once he comes to the table..the look on khushis face when she sees him was just..
As he sits down at the table he watches khushi put food into his plate yet not once look at him. He looks round at the table and notices the way in which everyone had gone quite. Aakash had let go of payals hand'nk and maami had stopped talking and khushi stood silently behind his chair..serving his breakfast.
There was just silence..
The priest's words played in his mind...look at yourself through the eyes of your loved ones. As arnav looked around he saw the ones that were meant to be closest to him but they seemed distance, the thing that haunted him the most was that the distance was created by him. He had neglected the ones who were closest to him.
''.
Peak into Next chapter:
Arnav: "Do you love me..??" he watches her hesitate for a moment..
Khushi: "Ji .?? .yey kaisa saval hai'., aap hamare pati hai.. ham aapse nahin toe kise pyaar karenge .."
Arnav watches khushi smile at him and feels a strange sensation within. He'd hardly been the perfect husband yet the sincerity of her response could be seen in the sparkle of her eyes.
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