OS: I am in love. - Page 2

Originally posted by: RickyBahl

ok first a huge round of applause for this OS.

👏👏👏 👏 👏

I ENJOYED READING IT ENTIRELY but let me point out some specifications

1. That statement was masterpiece

Since the moment she had seen Arnav, she was in some other land. Having all X rated thoughts about the guy. Keeping a brave face in front want easy. She thought her knees would buckle anytime. God that man was handsome and some more.

Because it looked real..In many OS, FF's khushi has been kept too shy to express her feelings..But thats staement u used is very real..any normal girl on seeing a hot, sexy guy would feel that naturally and atleast speak to herself about it. Come on girl is not meant to be saint all time. she can have naughty desires too. So that paragraph was very much needed. a girl can have also deep desires..and its no sin.

2. The OS was to the point, not dragged unnecssarily.

3. has she been taken - the line is sexy itself.

alterations:

1. i wud have wanted khushi to say him in bed something lie this- Look handsome man, u hvtaken away my breath, i dont denythat i have fallen in your charms , in ur spell. I dont blame u

but what do i take it as,suddenly a crash with a hot hunk, sparks flew, he gets intimate with me and then...!!Tell me what am i to u??i wanna know my heart stealer from ur mouth.

2.a little more detailing could be done to make arnav express that why he was so much in desperation.I mean high end desperate sentences like - Hey girl, why did u kept urself hiding from me all these years.dont u know that there was a guy who was waiting for u. what if i wouldnt have met u.i would hv died without you.

3. the love making session was not expanded in detail, i understand, but the ending could be a liitle more emotional and arnav assuring her hey dont worry iam not like other men ...i will make u mine forever soon.

THE BLOCKBUSTER ASPECT WAS THAT

The plot was very real..In real life new pairs are formed in marriage celebrations. boys specially look around to find beautiful girls during marriages. so the plot was a Hit concpet because it happens in reality too. some people make out too.

and its beautiful to see arnav excited to find a love story for his life rather than just find khushi for being married only. So here again love wins over any customs.

keep it up

Originally posted by: RickyBahl

tina i should be thankful to u for the good time pass for sunday.

and i know that writing fictions is not that easy.

its very easy to say, this was bad, this was left.

but honestly i understand how u have to get so much into the story and feel it...then only one can write down...and it takes time to. Its not that u take a pen and paper and write it down.

i understand the hard work and mental drain a person goes to feel the characters and bring them alive for readers.

so chill, evn without suggestions ,,,UR work is very delicate and beautiful to read and feel happy at the end of the day.

basic thing is being from audits..u can have a grasp on the details and characters tendencies so well .i appreciate it. jsut be with the flow..no need of any rocket science...the FF.OS should just make us smile thats it..nothing more expectations

exactly a girl has all right to feel that way..

iam more of a barun sobti addict than asr..

pashmeen is damn lucky women on earth