Love will always find a way ❤️ (ArSh and baby OS)

"Not again Armaan...not this time"

He looked at her, weeping and utterly broken, his heart broke to a million pieces and he knew that she was right. She would not be able to go through with it again, not this time and if he was to be totally honest with himself neither will he. Since they had been married four years ago they had been here one too many times. As the thoughts of the painful past came back to him he knelt down beside her hospital bed and pulled her in. He wrapped his hands around her and when she was safely tucked away in his chest and he let her weep. Why them? Why so many times?

The horrifying wait for the doctor to return started once again, for the third time both Armaan and Shilpa waited, waited to hear what lay ahead. Now as he recalled the times that had passed even his eyes were moist. Her grief, sorrow, loneliness and sheer desperation were matched equally by his. Almost afraid to go back into his own thoughts, he tried his best to avoid those memories from creeping back, but it was of no use. He tightened his grip on her and let his own tears roll down. He remembered the look on her face the last time, the cry that she released, the tears that didn't stop, the constant wailing for many nights, and the silence of months, until happiness returned. He pulled her in closer and just prayed that this time the doctor walks in the news will be different and much happier. Please, please, please.

Both Shilpa and Armaan heard the door open and instantly they were both upright and looking at Dr. Keerti walk in. Even though they too were both doctors, it was not until right where they truly understood the utter terror someone must feel when the person with the white coat arrives. Within a few seconds of the door opening Shilpa grabbed a hold of Armaan's hand and he intertwined his hands with her. Not being able to bear it another second, Shilpa spoke.

S: Dr. Keerti...please say its alright...please

[Dr. Keerti walked up to Shilpa, took a hold of her other hand smiled, and gave her a nod. And almost simultaneously both Armaan and Shilpa let out a sigh of relief and both smiled.]

K: Bas ek minor complication thi...you both are fine...just four more months aur phir tum aur Armaan yahaan phir se aaoge...for some more good news!

One would have assumed that Shilpa would have sprung up dancing when she heard these words, but she did the exact opposite, she turned violently towards Armaan and literally lashed on to his so that her head was now placed on his stomach and her hand were tightly wrapped around him. She cried, so much that shirt was now drenched. He put his hands on her head and ran his fingers through her hair. When Dr. Keerti saw this reaction, she looked to Armaan smiled at him as well and walked out of the door. Now Armaan slightly pushed Shilpa a little bit to the side so that he too could sit beside her. Her cupped her face in his hands and smiled at her.

A: hey hey...ab kyon yeh aansoon? you're fine...

[He looked in her eyes and realized that she still wasn't convinced, she was still scared.]

S: Armaan...hum iss baar nahin haar sakte...ab iss baar nahin...

A: Shilpa hum kuch nahin haarenge, I promise. Bas chaar mahine and then we'll be parents...parents Shilpa!

[He thought he was getting through to her, but then she said something that eventhough he saw it coming, it still shocked him and again he had no response.]

S: pehle bhi yeh hi socha tha...

She was right, they had been here before. As he looked at her, he remembered when three years ago she had told him the first time that she was expecting their first baby, a new member of their little family, the gift they had always wanted, the most precious addition to life, the final piece of their nearly picture perfect life. He still remember, he was treating a patient when she called him and said that there was an emergency, an emergency that needed his immediate attention. He quickly finished off looking at patients and ran to the terrace, where he saw her leaning against the ledge and enjoying the cool breeze. Her hair were blowing in the wind, her eyes closed, and a look of eternal bliss on her face. What on earth was the emergency? Here he was panting and gasping to catch a breath and there she was just enjoying the cool winter air. He walked up to her, and gave her a pad on the back and she turned around and just stood there looking at him.

A: kya hua? sab dheek hai na

[No words, just that stare and that smile. What was going on? Though he was relieved that she was okay, he was still curious as to why he had been called up in this way.]

A: Oye Dhanno...yeh kaisa mazak hai?

S: kyun? main apni pyaare se pati dev ... [At this point she took a step closer to him and put her arms on his shoulders and tilted her head upwards to look at him right in the eyes.] ...miss nahin kar sakti?

A: oyye hoyye... [He put his arms around her waist and literally swooped her in closer. He loved it when she was this romantic.]

S: waise...mujhe tumhe kuch bata na tha...

[He was too lost in her eyes and too mesmerized by her arms around him and her scent in the air around him to come up with any words, all he could muster was a nod.]

S: actually...kuch dikhana tha...

Shilpa too had thought this through, even though she had just found out a mere half an hour ago, she already had a plan of how she wanted to tell him. How she wanted him to find out. They had talked about what would happen when this moment would finally arrive, or how they would react, what would they say or feel? Shilpa, especially, had been waiting for long time for this and she knew that he too had similar emotions. So she first, took her hands from his shoulders and placed them palm first on his chest, he winked, then she slid down her hands all the way to his stomach and relished the looks and the expressions he had on his face, she loved to see him so in love with her.

Before he could get any more excited, or enjoy this position any further, she literally pushed him away from her and he, having no other choice was shoved back a little and released her waist from his grip. He looked at her, puzzled and amused. She too looked at him, trying to see if maybe he had already heard from Dr. Keerti, but there was no sign of any such thing. So she too smiled, knowing that she was about to change his world.

S: Armaan...iss sabh ke liye nahin bulaye tha tumhe...tumhe kuch dikhana hai...

[Armaan looked at her and being a naughty and mischievous teenage boy at heart, he smiled and winked at her.]

A: Shilpa..sharam karo..yahaan chat par... [Then he took one step towards her, and spoke again, this time, ready to attack.] ...that's okay...I like it.

[She knew what he was thinking, she shook her head and exhaled out of annoynace. Could he ever think of anything else but romance?]

S: ARMAAN! ...[She pulled out her phone and scrolled down to find a contact and when she did, she turned the phoned towards him. He looked at for a few seconds, and was as confused as ever.]

A: Daddy? Father-in-law ko phone karna hai?

[Again, she shook her head but this time not out of annoyance but rather happiness, it was better that he was this clueless, it would be fun to see him figure all this out.]

S: mere Daddy nahin...

A: toh phir kiske Daddy ka number lekar ghoom rahi ho?

[She grinned, lifted her hands and cupped his face in them, and looked at him. Eye to eye. She could sense from that smile that had emerged on his face, that he was enjoying quite a lot.]

S: khud pata karlo!

She winked and was off. He called her, but she didn't turn around. What on earth was going on. Shilpa, while walking away had this strange skip in her step. She knew what was coming, she knew what would happen when he finally figured out what she wanted to show him. When she reached the door, she turned to see him standing there, still staring blankly at her phone. She sighed, smiled and went down the stairs, waiting for that moment when he too would rush down to find her. Armaan, however, wasn't quite there yet. "Dhanno yeh ho kya raha hai? Kis bechara ke Daddy ko tang karne waali ho tum?" His wife really was crazy. He smiled and said, "Chalo dekhte hain", completely unaware of what was awaiting him, he pressed talk and as soon as he heard the first dial tone, he felt a vibration. What? And again, a dial tone and a vibration. Wondering what was happening, he pulled out his phone and the caller ID read "Mrs. Malik". It was Shilpa. How on earth could Shilpa be calling him, when he was using her phone to call this Daddy dude? It took him about two more seconds of confusion, before, NO...NO...NO WAY!

It couldn't be. Was it? But how? He had been waiting for this moment, and now that it seemed to be here, his entire body seemed to have stopped reacting. It was him. That's what she meant. That's why she was smiling. That is why she called him here. That's what she wanted to show him. It was him. He was Daddy. Oh lord. Within seconds of this realization Armaan's heart rate reached unbearable speeds, and his body was soaring. He knelt down, with his hands on his knees, his head looking at the ground, and his heart trying to remain inside of him. He was really having a hard time breathing, his face muscles were literally hurting from his now permanent smile. He straightened himself up, and this time instead of looking at the ground he looked up the skies and put his hands of his head. Oh lord, oh lord, it was finally happening. He tried his best to calm his erratic breathing but it was of no use. And just like that, her face flashed through his mind. She literally had given him everything, every last happiness imaginable for a man. Just like that, he literally ran towards the door as if running for his life. Jet down the stairs, as if running away from fire. Crashed through the doors, as if there it were the last moments. Sprinted through the corridor, trying to dodge the nurse or the ward boy, or the patient. All of whom were rather worried by the sheer insanity that had overcome him. And then finally after that excruciating run, he saw her, she was standing with her back towards him and facing Dr. Keerti. There she was, the love of his life, the most beautiful wife, the reason for his happiness, the rock that kept him steady and now...the mother of his child. Unable to bear it any longer, he ran towards her and in a moment of utter joy and sheer thrill, he grasped her from her waist and literally swooped her from the ground and spun her around. She laughed in joy and he screamed in delight. The others clapped, they had already heard. After about two minutes of just swinging her through the air and letting her feel as if on top of the world, he put her down, and aggressively turned her so that she was facing him. Not caring who was watching, or what they would think, he pounced and his lips were now embracing hers. He could feel that she had to be on her tip toes to make sure that she didn't let go, so he moved his hands from her hair to her waist and lifted her up, so that she was resting on his torso and he was leaning back. When finally he let go for a moment, he said, "Daddy says Thank you". And again he pulled her in.

S: I want to go home...please...

Huh? Immediately he snapped out of it. And instead of leaning against his, she was leaning on the back board of the bed. Instead of a cheering Sanjeevani hallway, he was in an empty hospital room. And instead of an glowing and joyous Shilpa, he saw his hurt, broken and tearful wife. For a moment he had been sucked into the glorious past, and that made this stinging reality all the more unbearable. On the drive back home, neither Armaan nor Shilpa said a word. Though he looked her once in a while, and tried his best to comfort her red and swollen eyes by holding onto her hand, it didn't seem to do any good. When they finally reached home, he helped her get out of the car and helped her all the way up to her bedroom. Once there, he helped her lie down, kissed her on the forehead and said "Sab dheek ho jaye gaya...I promise", she did not respond. So he turned off her lights, left the room and let her lie there, in silence and darkness. He walked into the living room, sat down on the sofa, put his head in his hands and almost instantly, wept. He tried his best to be as quite as possible, because if she heard him, she would be completely broken. He had to be strong for her. He couldn't let her see this. But even then, the tears did not stop and the sheer sense of pain that felt in his gut only grew stronger with each passing second. Again, sitting there in tears, his mind wandered back to the past.

It had been three months since that glorious day when he had found that his world would be changed forever and for the better. And since then, every single night he made sure that she always had whatever it was that she wanted to eat, he made sure that her bed was always as comfortable as he could make, he made sure that she was never upset, he made sure that he never fought with her for the remote, or argue over shopping bills. Basically he made sure that she felt like the luckiest and happiest girl in this whole world. They had just painted one of the rooms yellow, and bought a crib and all these other toys for their coming bundle of joy. He remembered not wanting to sleep anywhere else but in that room, and her having to literally drag him out of there. He remembered how much they would talk at night about names, or nicknames, or clothes or schools. He remembered how he had gotten up early every single morning before her so her could make sure she had her juice and all ready before she woke up. And then he remembered that night, in the fifth month. The night that came and changed it all. He remembered her crying in the bathroom, he remembered seeing the blood, he remembered rushing to the hospital, and he remembered the way Dr. Keerti shook her head in grief when she walked into their hospital room.

That very night, when he brought her home, she had begged and pleaded for him to forgive her. Forgive her for what? He had tried to console her all night, but it hadn't worked. After that night she didn't even step out of her room, let her alone the house for about two weeks, and when she finally she did he remembered her sorrowful eyes and her haunting silence.

He heard her coughing. Again, he was snapped out from the past. He looked over at the door of their bedroom and again he heard her coughing. He wiped away his tears, took a deep breath and walked up to his room. Why did life have to be this cruel? What were they deprived of the most basic happiness? Why was it that when he was walking up to see his pregnant wife, all he felt was fear, sorrow, grief, and a gaping sense of loneliness? When he reached the door, he looked through and saw that she had drank the water that he had put beside her bed. At least that thought gave him some comfort. He slowly made his way into the room, he went into the bathroom changed and when he got to the bed, he tried his very best to be as subtle as humanly possible and let her get whatever little rest that she could. But it seemed that much like him, she was also awake. Still turning in the opposite direction as him, she spoke.

S: mujhe darr lag raha hai..

[He quietly slid in the bed, and positioned himself right behind her. He took one hand and wrapped it around her swollen belly, took the other and ran it through her hair. He knew exactly what she felt, he felt it too. But there was just no way that he could let her know that.]

A: kyon? diaper change karne nahin aate!

As soon as he finished his sentence, he could feel her let out a breath. He knew that she had a habit of getting really angry these days, but he just had to try and calm her down. He just had to. She didn't say anything after that, after about a minute of waiting for her reply, he realized that she was probably too afraid to answer. He moved his hand from her hair, to her neck and brushed off some hair and kissed her. Letting her know, that he was right there and he understood.

The next morning, started off much like the others in the past few months. Armaan got up, got dressed, and sat by her bedside for about two minutes saying what he always said, "Dono ka khyal rakhna...I love you...both of you". He then kissed her on her forehead, she smiled and that was that. The torment of the recent past seemed to sucked the joy and happiness right out of her. She wasn't the same Shilpa, and he had been trying so hard to see her again but nothing seemed to work. Unlike the first two times, this time she never asked for anything, she never craved anything. She barely even smiled. And seeing her sorrow and her hardship it was nearly impossible for Armaan to get the courage to tell her that he missed her. So he didn't.

When he got up from the bed, he went downstairs to the maid and told her all he needed to and within fifteen minutes he was out of the house and on his way to the hospital. Even though Shilpa's maternity leave wasn't suppose to start for another month, she had refused to go to work. She said it was too risky, a risk that wasn't worth taking. Even if it meant that she was always, all day and everyday up in her room, on her bed trying to avoid anything that she felt was risk. Since the past few weeks, even her food was brought up to her. When Armaan finally did get to the hospital, he would always call home and she would pick and there was always that same old conversation.

S: hello?

[The mellow, and depressed tone always made his heart sink far below he would have liked.]

A: bas kehna tha ki...I have my cell phone, jab kuch bhi chahiye...phone karlena

S: hmmm...

A: apna khyal rakhna...

S: hmmm...

A: I love you

S: me too

A: bye..

S: bye.

And just like that she hung up. He too put the phone and sighed. Lord, why me? All he had wanted was for her to call him up and tell that she just absolutely needed to eat something, or that she just wanted to see him, or that there was kicking, something, anything. He just wanted her to open up. Say something to him, exert her right over him command him to do things for her. But alas he had no such luck. Dejected from that dreadful morning, Armaan began his day's work. Everywhere he went and everyone he saw asked him how Shilpa was doing. He said she's just fine, she and the baby are doing just fine. But was that true? Was she fine? Was the Shilpa that he had to see every morning, the Shilpa for whom he had to find reasons to smile just a little, alright? Could he tell anyone what was the matter? Could he tell anyone of the silence in his house? It was amidst these painful thoughts and the questions that the day passed and when was in his car ready to drive home, he remembered the last of the happy moments of their life.

It had been 11 months since that night, that dark and painful night when one morning, he had seen Shilpa sitting on the patio smiling and enjoying the sun. He walked up to her and put his arms around her and kissed her cheeks before taking a seat beside her. Seeing her this peaceful and content after a while he was too afraid to ask what the reason behind all this was. But she spoke before he could even try and come up with words. She looked at him and with teary eyes gave him the most genuine smile he had seen in a while. She pulled her chair closer to his and took his hands in hers.

S: we have a second chance...

He looked at her, perplexed. And to release him from the curiosity, she took his hand and placed it on his belly. His heart literally swelled with joy and his eyes went moist almost instantly. He leapt forward and captured her in his embrace. This really was a second chance, a second chance at the happiness that had been so cruelly taken away from them the last time. A chance to emerge from the sorrow and silence of the last few months. The next few months that followed were equally blissful, he was literally pulled her from work almost twice a day to go and eat some Barfee. Something that she just couldn't seem to get enough of. All the time Barfee this barfee that barfee and just barfee. Once again they had opened the doors to the yellow room that they had so lovingly decorated not too long ago.

All seemed to be going as they had wanted and it looked as if they would finally the joy that they both pined for, but unfortunately it was not meant to be. He still remembered the exact time and the exact place. It was 1:17 on a sunny Monday afternoon, when a nurse had come running up to him and the nurse station. As soon as the nurse uttered "Dr. Shilpa", his heart had know what happened. He just felt it. And as he ran after the nurse to go and see his wife, somewhere he sensed that this wasn't just tragic, it would be destructive. When he walked into the room, he was literally horrified to see what he saw, Shilpa's face was burried in her pillow and her wails seemed to echo and grow in intensity. He literally stood for about two minutes and watched his wife break into a million pieces, he watched the most lively and jolly girl he had ever know, cry at the top of her lungs. Step by step, he got closer to her and with each move his heart also broke a little, as if being chipped at. No, not again. When he did get to her, he took a deep breath and placed his hand in her hair, for just a second she stopped crying, turned up to look at him, and flung herself at him and wrapped within his arms she cried.

The next few months were painfully slow and chillingly silent. She stopped everything, every last thing that made her happy, she didn't do anymore. She always said that she didn't want to. A sudden silence had taken over her. She didn't laugh much and what hurt him the most was that she didn't open up to him as she once had. Even that night, when he had finally managed to convince her to leave town for a while to just be with him, she would push him away every time he tried to get closer to her. All he wanted to do was show that he was still madly in love with her, deeply obsessed, and truly overcome by her. But she didn't see that anymore, or even if she did, she didn't care. As soon as he got close enough to her, she would turn away, push him away saying that she wasn't meant for this. There was no point. They shouldn't try again because she wasn't destined to have a child.

A: Shilpa... [She had tried to walk away as far as she could, now the wall behind her made sure that she couldn't go anywhere else. He leaned in closer, so that his lips were less than a few millimeters away from hers. She tried to resist but realized it was of no use.] ... I miss you.

Now she couldn't help but look right at him, deep into his eyes and just like that, she felt her tears roll down. But instead of turning away, he did the exact opposite. He moved his lips from hers and placed over the tear, then on the other cheek. He slowly and gently placed his hands on her lower back, and traced his way with his lips from her cheek to her ear, and whispered. "I really missed you". There was just no way that she could not lose herself at that moment. He surprised by taking her up in his arms and taking her to their bed. Even if she had lost it all, he still had all the hope that this relationship needed.

Just two months later when she found out again, she didn't have that same smile or that same glow on her face when she told. This time all she did was hand him the doctor's report and let him read it. When he smiled and ran over to take her in his arms, she didn't reciprocate and passionately as she had before. When he had asked her why she was this way, she simply said that she wasn't ready to see her world fall apart again. She wasn't going to set herself up again for disappointment and grief. And from that day, any trace of the old Shilpa was gone. She was almost always, she never really talked to him or to anyone much, and he really did begin to believe that she didn't care. Until of course the day before yesterday when she had been taken to the hospital for a minor complication and he saw that she was absolutely terrified. This time, even he was terrified. This really was it. The final chance. If anything happened this time, he knew, he was certain that his Shilpa wouldn't make it through.

When he pulled up in front of the house, he walked in to the usual setting. The maid had prepared the food and it was in the kitchen, all the lights except for the one in her room was turned off, the door of their loved yellow room was still shut, and as always there was silence. He walked into the kitchen took food for himself and her up to the room. He tried his best to engage her in conversation but much like many times before nothing came of it. He was starting to believe that until the day the baby was actually delivered she would say nothing. Unfortunately, or fortunately he was wrong.

A few weeks later with only a month left before the delivery, when he had come home, he saw that his maid was standing at the doors. He could sense that there was a problem. He sped up, and nearly ran over their garden. He jumped out of the car and ran to the maid. She told him that Shilpa had been crying for the past hour or so but that she wasn't saying anything. Armaan, having pretty much lost of all his tolerance to pain, still rushed inside and ran up to his room. She was sitting on the side of the bed, with her hand hung low, and she was crying. He ran up to her, took a hold of her hands, and knelt down in front of her so that their intertwined hands sat on her knees.

A: kya hua? tum dheek toh ho na?

She looked at him and realized that she couldn't say anything. How could she say anything? How could she demand anything? Twice already she had disappointed him. Did she even have the right to demand anything of him? What else could she do but cry? How could she say that I want this or I want that, but I cannot give you what you want? How could she look at him in the eyes and hide the guilt of having let him down twice? So all she did was just stare at him, and she knew him well enough to know that the lines that were forming on his forehead, were of frustration. Of course he would be frustrated.

A: Shilpa...kya hua... [He took his hands away from hers, and placed them under her chins so that her face was now in his hands.] ...talk to me baby...please talk to me...tell me...

[How could se tell him? How could she? How could she expect him to understand? He had never let anyone down. How could he understand what she felt?]

He was growing tired of this silence and the crying, he had just about had it. His patience was running thin. Though he had kept a strong from for so long, seeing her like this, uselessly giving herself grief and pushing him away, he couldn't help but grown impatient and even annoyed at some point. He released himself from their eye lock and his head now hung low. And he tried one last time.

A: Shilpa...please yeh bachpana bandh karo and tell me...

[Bachpana? Was this childlike to him? Of course, she knew it, he didn't understand.]

S: tum nahin samajh sakte...you don't understand..

[That was it, he couldn't hold it anymore. How dare she accuse him of that. After all the torment that they had been through together, she still felt that he didn't understand?]

A: main nahin samajh sakta? Shilpa main nahin samajh sakta?

[Breathing heavily now and trying his best to say something that he would later regret. He got up and faced the window. He didn't understand? Of course he didn't understand, she was hell bent on acting like a child who was angry and wouldn't speak.]

S: kaha tha na...nahin samajh sakte...

[This was it, the very last straw for Armaan. He turned around, and looked at her. The pain and the anger in his red, moist eyes was terrifying for Shilpa.]

A: pichle teen saalon tumhare haath thaame khada hoon, tumhare aanson pee ta raha hoon, tumhari har ek pukar sun ta raha aur main nahin samajh ta?

[The intensity of his words and the pain in his voice was almost unbearable for Shilpa. And instantly she knew, she shouldn't have said what she did, how could she have insulted him the way she did? Unfortunately for her, today was the day that he was going to let it all out.]

A: mere liye kaun tha? jab mein raat raat bhar rota tha ... tab kaun tha? jab tumse apna dard chupa ne ke liye akele andhere mein rota tha...tab kaun tha? Shilpa...jab tumhari awaaz sun ne ke liye...tumhari hassi dekh ne ke liye main tadap tha...tab kaun tha?...aur mein nahin samajh ta?

Unable to control himself and at the same time unable to speak to her this way, he stopped talking and like a storm rushed out the door, leaving behind a bewildered and stunned Shilpa. How could she? That was the only thought that was now in her mind. How could she? Again, the same question. How could she do that to him? How could she subject him to what she did? Not for a day, or a week but for years. How could she? Why hadn't he said anything before? Then it struck her, if this had broken her, it had also broken him. When she cried or when she was alone he pulled through for her. But what did she do? Not talk to him? Leave him alone? This was the real meaning of letting him down. Her breathing increased ever so quickly and heart sank to her ankles. Never in her life had she detested herself as she did right now. Would he ever forgive her? Could he ever forgive her? Not only had he lost his prospective children but because of her stupidity, he had lost his wife? How Shilpa, how could you do that to him? The guilt and the pain that she felt at this very moment was almost as tragic as what she had felt the two times that she had lost it all. She stood up and promised herself that whatever time was left before this baby, and may he or she come healthy, she would try her best to make it up to him. Give him all that she had deprived him off. And as silly as it would sound, tell him why she was crying today.

It took all the courage and strength that she had to walk out of the room, after such a long time and more importantly to go and face the man she had so horribly wronged. All he did was love her like no one ever had and what did she do? Nothing. Nothing at all. When she stepped out of the room, she saw him sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands and she could tell from his breathing the he was just a moment away from breaking down. She wanted to say something, call him, or just say sorry. But she decided that none of that would do justice and show how she felt right now. She walked up to him, and stopped just a step behind the sofa. So close that she could hear him breathing. She took a deep breath, wiped away her tears, and put both her arms around him, as if to present him with the garland of her arms. And instantly she felt him calm down. Slowly he took a hold of her hands, but still had his head facing the ground and his gaze far away from hers. She kneeled in some more, and kissed his neck. She felt and saw the goosebumps that this created for him. Even in his anger he was madly in love with her. Even when he was this heartbroken, he hadn't let her effect on him dwindle. This made her guilt even stronger and more unbearable. She whispered his ears, "Mujhe maaf kar sakte ho kya?".

Hearing her say that, melted him on the inside. Why was she apologizing, after all it was him who had lost his cool. He ha screamed at her, at Shilpa, after all that she had gone through he actually burdened her with his own problems. As if she wasn't so hurt already, he went ahead and added to it all. And she was apologizing, he slowly turned and got up on the couch, so that his knees were on the sofa, her face was at level with his and she was standing behind the couch. He took a hold her hands, and took them up to his lips.

A: maafi toh..mujhe maang ni chahiye...I'm sorry.

Oh Armaan, do you even know what a gem you are. She had never been so in love with him as she was at this very moment. How could he think this was his fault after all she had done. There was just no room for words, there was just such attraction and such intense love between them that all she needed to was just literally swing her arms around him again and pull him in. The tightest and the most possessive embrace ever. It was her way of saying I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm so excited for what's coming - all at once. She pulled him closer, ran her hands through his hair and hoped that if not fix anything at least this would make him realize that she was truly sorry.

For the first time in ages, he saw a glimpse of old Shilpa back. The way she embraced him, the way she ran her hands through his hair, or the way kissed him on his cheeks and his forehead and basically all over his face and the way she stood there, with her swollen belly and just looked at him. How dearly he had missed this. Though he wanted to continue on like this, he was afraid that he would hurt the baby. The most he would do was kiss her belly but other than that, he really was petrified to go near it. After a few more moments, he got up from the couch walked around to grab a hold of her hand and get her to sit right beside him. As soon as she sat down, she realized how exhausting all that had been. Taking a deep breath, she rested her head on his shoulder and grabbed a tight hold of his hand and asked a question that he had been answering for these past years every single day but she never really believed him.

S: sab dheek ho ga na Armaan?

[He tightened his grip on her hand, and instead of just holding it, he intertwined his fingers with his. And though he had been consoling for the past god knows how long, today he felt like telling her the truth. The truth that she just needed to hear.]

A: pata nahin...lekin jo bhi hoga, hum dono mil kar uska saamna karenge...

S: hmmm...

[He could sense her getting all anxious and scared all over again. Needing to say more, he moved a little and she straightened up, he turned so that he could face her and really say what was at the bottom of his heart.]

A: I mean it...

[She gave him a nod. And now teary eyed again, she too said what was at the bottom of her heart. Finally, after all these years.]

S: I don't want to disappoint you again...agar dobara mein tumhe woh nahin de payi jo tum chahate ho, toh?

Right here, in this very moment, he finally understood what had happened to her. What had overcome her. What had numbed her. She was afraid of what he was thinking. She really believed that he had been miserable for so long because of that. Oh Shilpa, how could you not see? How could you not understand the real problem?

A: Shilpa...aaj yeh baat mein tumhe pehli aur aakhri baar kahoonga...mein sirf aur sirf ek cheez se darr ta hoon...sirf ek cheez hai jo mein kho nahin sakta...tum...

[She looked at him and at this moment a million prayers went out from her heart to thank whoever it was that gave her Armaan Malik.]

A: I can't lose you again...I can't

[She looked and gave him a nod and tried her best to control her tears. She could never, ever love him as much as he loved her. She could never, ever do what he done. She could never, ever make him feel as special as he made her feel at this very moment. ]

A: aur waise bhi...tumhara yeh tragedy queen wala roop mein aur nahin dekh sakta...

[And there they were...her eyes that went completely circular when he said anything like this, her instant reaction of "HAWW" and that cute little nose of hers that went red.]

They sat there talking for about another ten minutes before Armaan realized that he had been to ask her something. When he asked her why she had been crying just a while ago. She looked away. How could she tell him? How could she show him? What would he think if knew how weak she had become. He asked again and this time with that same stern look that he had when he told her that the only thing he was afraid of was losing her. And just then she knew he would understand, he would listen, he would help.

S: barfee.

A: kya?

S: barfee.

[Armaan looked at her in confusion, of course he was confused. She had been weeping because of barfee. Seriously? But again, he surprised her. Instead of looking at her all funny, he just smiled and shook his head and then looked up at her again.]

A: bahut man kar raha hai na?

[She nodded.]

A: toh pehle kyon nahin batya?

S: Armaan...mujh bahar jaane se bhi darr lagta hai...agar chalte chalte kuch ho gaya toh? agar barfee mein kuch kharab hua toh? ... agar iss bar bhi hum...

That was a thought she couldn't complete. He looked at her and her heart was literally screaming to get a hold of her again. She was scared. Petrified. But she didn't need to be. He was here. Always. Whenever she needed him, whenever they needed him.

A: shhh... [he placed a finger on her lips] ...jis Shilpa se maine shaadi ki thi woh toh itna nahin darr ti thi...trust me...It'll be okay...

S: sach..

A: waada.

She smiled and let out a sigh of relief. Just then he told her to stay seated and rushed into their room, she sat there taking deep breaths after deep breaths, it would be alright. He said so, it just had to be. Before she knew it he was back, with her jacket and his. Stepping out of the house? No. No way. She looked at him and he could tell that she was scared, horrified in fact. All he did, was extend his hand and give her the jacket, hoping that she would take it and gather the courage she needed. It must have taken her about two minutes to think this through before she finally took a hold of the coat. And what convinced her? The way Armaan stood there determined and rock steady for the whole two minutes. He helped her put her jacket on and every time he sensed that she was scared, he would say something that would make all the fear go away. "Tum jaanti nahin, iss pal ka kab se intezaar kar raha hoon mein". Or when he was in a bit of teasing moment just before she stepped into the car, "agar pata hota ki tum daant khaane se hi dheek ho jaogi toh main kabka tumhe daant chuka hota".

She too talked to him, about how all she had been thinking about in the past few months was how happy he would be when he saw their baby and that it was that thought that kept her going and she told him that every time he came and lied down next to her in the night she would want to turn and get closer but she was always afraid to get his hopes up high. Finally, when they got to the sweet shop and Armaan helped her out of the car, she totally him how badly she had wanted to do this for weeks now. He too told her that secretly he had been meaning to yell at her for quite some time but he was always scared how she would yell back, of course she instantly slapped him on the shoulder and carried on, but for Armaan this really was complete bliss. This is what he had wanted for so long and who knew that the cure for pain had to be anger? Who knew that the answer for silence and despair was fury and frustration? Whatever it was, he was glad that he finally told her what he had wanted to. Seeing her stand here, at last enjoying her pregnancy, at last asking him something, demanding various food items from him, it just filled his heart with such joy that he had no words. He had no idea what would come next, but all that mattered was that he managed to pull his Shilpa through the worst of times. All he could do was pray that the Lord did the same.

After about an hour or so, he decided it was perhaps best to head home and get some well deserved rest. He took a hold of her hand, and started to lead the way towards the car when she stopped midway. Before looking back at her, he already spoke, thinking he knew what was going on, "ab bas Shilpa...ek hi raat mein thodi sab kuch khanna hai" and then she heard her gasp. He turned around and saw the look on her face. No, not again.

S: my water broke...

It was too early, there was still a little over a month left to go. What did this mean? Would everything be alright? What if it was the worst news? He reacted instantly and got her to the car and then as quickly as possible to the hospital. As she screamed and twisted and turned in pain in the car, he just told her to have faith and that everything would be alright. That he would be there the whole way through and that there was nothing to fear. He made her promise that she would pull through for him, that she wouldn't let him lose the love of his life again. Finally, when they did arrive at the hospital and she was being wheeled in, Armaan lost control. He hadn't thought this through. He wasn't ready. He needed more time to tell her he loved her, he needed to feed her some barfee, he needed more time to cuddle her at night time, he just...he...oh heck he was terrified of what was happening.

After only about fifteen minutes of their arrival, Dr. Keerti came running to him and told him that it didn't look too good and that Shilpa was being prepped for surgery. His instant reaction was a loud and shaken, NO! She also told him that he needed to control himself and go in and talk to her, comfort her and make sure that she isn't freaking out. Of course he listened. When he did walk in only a few moments later, he saw her and the fear in her eyes. This was it. The last time when he just had to pull through. He had to, the way he had done earlier in the night, he needed to make sure she knew. He went and sat beside her and she instantly turned to look at him. He took a hold of her hand and knowing that he just had five minutes or so he said the only thing he could think of ad the only thing that in his heart he knew was true.

A: bas thodi der...aur phir jab tum utho gi sabse pehle humare baby ka chehra dekho gi...excited?

He looked at her with teary eyes and she looked with the same. They were ready for this. This just had to go right. There was no other option. It just couldn't be any other way. All she could so was nod at him and kiss his hand before she was wheeled off and Armaan was left standing and waiting. Agonizing second after agonizing second. The worst of thoughts rushing through his mind. Her face, her laugh, her cry, all of it running through his mind. His heart beating at speeds unknown to him before. What if it happened all over again? What if they were just meant to be miserable? What if the last few hours of the night were their last as a happy couple? Would he able to face that same silent and dejected Shilpa again? Would she be able to bear it all again? Would it be possible to survive this again? He literally felt that his head would explode any second now and he knew that the more time passed the more his heart and mind would grow impatient and the more horrific his thoughts would become. Just as he was about to think of what he would say to her if it was the worst, he heard the door open. His heart and his mind stopped. His whole being went nub for while and the he heard it...the cry. Not of his wife...of his child.

Just like that, right there, in the middle of the hallway for the world to see, he fell to his knees and wept like a child. As if the floodgates had been opened he couldn't stop. That cry was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, it was the most soothing melody he would ever hear. As his child's cries grew louder, his gasps were breath also grew louder. And just then, he felt Dr. Keerti's hand's on his shoulders and he looked up at her. She smiled and gave him a nod, she gestured him to stand up and although shivering he stood up and looked at her and the child in her hands.

Dr.K: he has your dimples...

Armaan's happiness and his joy knew no bounds, that child, that boy in her hands was his...it was Shilpa's, he was theirs. His smile and his tears were now both unstoppable but before he could say or ask anything else, he asked what was most important.

A: Is she okay?

Dr. Keerti nodded and just like that, the agony and anguish of the past years vanished, he felt the same way that he had felt that day on the terrace. It was as if a cloud of joy and happiness had been cast over him, Dr. Keerti tried to hand over his son to him, but his hands were shivering, he was shaking. She smiled and said, "hota hai". Armaan looked at her and then at the door, she knew what he was asking and again she nodded and led the way inside. There she was, lying with her eyes closed, not knowing what was awaiting her. Not knowing what it was that she had given him, his breathing was still as heavy as ever and slowly, one step at a time he made his way towards. She could sense him near him, when she opened her eyes she saw his face. The red swollen eyes, the sweat on his forehead and those dimples. He couldn't just bare to look at her any longer, he knelt down beside her and with a kiss on her lips he was able to tell her that it was fine, finally all fine. "You did it" he whispered and just then she heard it too. The cry. She had the same reaction, she exhaled to relive all the pressure and all the pain and tears were automatic. That was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. The most relief she had ever felt.

When Dr. Keerti asked who would hold this little Armaan first, both Armaan and Shilpa replied with the other's name. But it was Shilpa's "pehle Daddy" that won and Dr. Keerti slowly and carefully handed him over to a shivery and shaky Armaan. The sensation he felt when his skin touched his sons was just out of this world. The shivering stopped when Shilpa put an arm around Armaan's and just reveled at his face. And the first thing that came to her mind was...

S: he has your dimples...

Armaan looked at Shilpa and smiled, "aur tumhari badi badi aankhen".

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