FF : I Am...FREE Part 6
As Arnav breathed her name, his senses ignited...
"She heard me...she...she heard me..."
Even though he wanted to be done with life, his heart couldn't detach from Khushi...
From the Hope of winning her back...
His heart beckoned to her...but it also shrivelled in pain...
His heart had wanted to accepted Khushi from the beginning...but...
Arnav's eyes sprung open...
Decision made.
He would be starting over.
He would put the past behind him.
Become a man reborn, a man who looked forward rather than backward.
He loved Khushi.
He wanted her.
And if he had to, he'd wait forever...
He stood up straight, and made the long walk down the stairs into the kitchen.
As Arnav approached, his breathing became stifled at the sight he beheld...
She didn't look completely happy, and yet she smiled...
NK made her smile.
She could talk with him
She made jalebi as they laughed together...
"And she still doesn't know I'm here..." he thought brokenly...
"Naanav?"
Khushi almost dropped the mixture when she heard NK mention Arnav...
Her eyes shot up to see her husband's...
"NK, can I please speak with Khushi..."
Khushi reached for NK's arm...
An action that made Arnav's heart bleed...
Choking back tears, he asked again..."Please...can I speak with her for a moment..."
Nk looked towards Khushi..."I'll be in the other room..."
"No, stay please..." Khushi whispered urgently...
"Khushiji, he's not going to hurt you..." NK looked up at Arnav..."Are you..."
Anger surged inside him momentarily but he held it back and replied..."Never.."
After prying her fingers from his arm, NK walked past Arnav leaving them alone...
Khushi watched as Arnav cautiously stepped towards her...
As he got closer he realized that she wasn't moving backwards like she used to...
"Khushi?"
She lifted her face to his...
Empty.
His will to live was beginning to fade...
"Khushi, I'm so sorry. All this time I've been caught between loving you and hating you for something you never did. You didn't deserve my resentment. You didn't deserve anything I did to you...Can you ever forgive me?"
Arnav desperately wanted to reach for her, but he restrained himself...
"Can you forgive me for thinking the worst of you?"
Her eyes flickered...but he couldn't read the emotion...
"Can you forgive me for not trusting you?"
Tears.
He felt a wave of possessiveness—something he had no right to feel.
He needed her.
He needed to be the one to wipe her tears away.
But the reality slammed into him...She was no longer his.
He knelt before her and took her hand...
She didn't resist...but didn't hold back...her hand lay limply in his...
Khushi glanced down...pain filling her voice, "What...what do you want from me...?"
His eyes were tortured... "Khushi...You're looking at a man that no longer has a heart..."
He tightened his hold on her hand..."...my...my heart...It belongs to you...it always has...Keep it or throw it away—do what you will with it... I can never take it back...You being in my life gives me a reason to live..."
Arnav stood up and felt intense despair seeing her tear-soaked her face …
He ached to hold her...just for a second...
She didn't resist as he pulled her gently against himself.
His arms moved across her back, one folding around her tiny waist, the other circling up to wrap around her head, pinning her to him.
"I love you, Khushi..." he whispered...
He stroked her hair.
"I truly love you...It's important for you to know that."
She pulled back and looked up at him, searching his face, his eyes.
"I..." she began...
Arnav's body trembled as he held her...
"I...did love you..." her voice shook as she whispered the words that broke his heart further...
Arnav was dead serious. "I love you, Khushi. I never stopped. Maybe you're not ready yet to hear it from me, maybe you're not ready to be with me, and I don't blame you...but like I said, I will wait forever, because my heart is yours...give me a chance. One more chance...Please? That's all I'm asking..."
"A chance...?" she breathed...
Khushi stared into his eyes...but all she saw was pain...hers and his...
The armor she kept around her heart would not shatter.
She lifted her hands to his chest and shoved him away...
"No." her tone was getting harder..."NO."
Arnav recoiled in pain hearing her words...
He stepped forwards slightly..."Khushi please..."
"Don't push her Chote..."
They both looked up and saw Anjali...
"Di!" Khushi ran over..."What are you doing up? Please, let me take you back to rest..."
Anjali embraced Khushi as she spoke..."All this time...you have been blamed for trying to hurt me, and yet even now, you show your care...I'm sorry Khushiji...I'm sorry..."
"Di, that's not important, please let me help you back upstairs..."
As Khushi held Anjali's one hand, Arnav approached and held her other...
"Chote...Nani told me..."
Arnav felt his resistance waning...
As they helped Anjali back onto her bed, Khushi quickly straightened saying, "Di, I'll be back with some tea for you..."
Anjali grabbed Khushi's hand...
Khushi turned back, and as she did, Anjali joined her hand with Arnav's...
"You both have thought of me enough...You now need to think about what YOU want..."
Khushi lifted her hand quickly..."Di, everything is fine, please don't worry yourself..."
"Khushiji, I know you still want to protect me, to make sure that I do not stress...but I know the truth...and I don't want anything more to be hidden from me..."
"Everything IS fine Di, what I want is for you to regain perfect health...please rest..."
Khushi turned and hurried out...
"How could you do that to her Chote..."
Arnav brazenly stood up, raking his fingers through his hair..."I've been screaming the same question to myself Di...I love her...I have loved her this whole time and I..."
He let out a gut wrenching scream..."I've lost her..."
Falling beside Anjali's bed he wept..."What do I do now? I've lost her Di..."
Anjali cried along with her brother...
"Di, I can't breathe without her... what do I do...?"
Her hand slowly caressed his head, "Chote, stop thinking about what you need, and think of her..."
Her words hit home.
"I just want her to be happy..." Arnav said slowly...
"I'm not saying to let her go, because I believe that if you love someone, then it's is impossible for the heart to let go..."
Arnav lifted his face to hers..."My heart can't...!"
"Then just love her...show her with your words...with your actions..." Anjali smiled softly and yawned...
"Oh, I'm sorry Di, you're tired..."
"I love you Chote...But yes I am tired..."
Arnav helped her lay back and he kissed her forehead...
"I love you Di..."
…...
As Arnav walked out, he felt lost...
Wandering blindly back to his room he sat on the couch wishing sleep would overtake him...
But he knew that sleep would be no escape...
He would dream of his mistake...
He would dream of the chances he'd lost...
He would dream of her eyes that had once been full of love for him...
In the silence, his tears came...
Only moments ago he had been holding her in his arms...
Having her near was the only time his heart felt peace...
He wanted kick himself in the ass for being such an idiot...
Would he ever get a second chance with her?
When he was with her, when he held her in his arms, he was home.
She was everything to him.
"Why did I have to lose her to realize that..."
His heart began to beat wildly...
He shook his head...
"I can't accept this...not now...not ever..."
…...
As Khushi reentered the kitchen, she saw that Payal had completed making the jalebi...
"Thankyou Jiji..."
"Not a problem Khushi...are you okay?"
"Ofcourse she is..." NK said brightly..."We're about to get sick on jalebi!"
Khushi smiled and felt her heart slightly jump as Nk approached her...
Payal excused herself and NK and Khushi were now alone
…...
The conversation was always easy when they were together...
"Are you sure you're alright Khushiji?"
Khushi braved a smile..."I'm okay. Really. In a few days I will be free as well. I will no longer be entrapped in a fake marriage..."
"I hope you don't think I'm rude for asking, but...Did Naanav ever make you feel loved Khushiji?"
Khushi looked up at Nk..."I don't even remember..."
She stood up and walked a few steps away...
"You are such an incredible person Khushiji, you deserve so much...you deserve love..."
Turning to face him, she said..."I don't even know what love is anymore Nanheji..."
Khushi saw NK walk forwards...
She stepped back...
"How can you not know what love is...when your very nature is just that...love..."
Her back was now up against the one of the pillars...
"Nanheji...I have been accused of so much...I just don't know..."
"I know you...I've known you for a long time now...and you deserve a life full of love..."
Tears sprung to her eyes..."Really?"
NK nodded...
He leaned down as Khushi's eyes slid closed...
Suddenly, she heard him gasp, and felt a strong pull at her waist...
Her eyes remained fused shut...
Khushi now expected a hot and heavy kiss...
Her mind launched into overdrive...
She felt self conscious, and fearful...wondering if she was doing the right thing...
But all thoughts vanished as soon as soft lips touched hers...
This slow sweet kiss stripped her of her defenses, birthing a strange, unrequited yearning inside her...
As the kiss deepened, her chest felt tight, her heart started pounding, and her breathing came so fast she finally had to break the kiss to gulp in air.
Her eyes opened slowly and blinked a few times...
Suddenly, the impact of the sight before her slammed into her heart...
Stunned and confused, all Khushi could do was stare at the man infront of her...
The man whose kiss had overtaken her soul...
For before her stood her husband, Arnav Singh Raizada.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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