FF: When Truth Prevails [Chp 46, Pg 121] 2/06 - Page 5

"Where are you lost?!" Aryan questioned taking a seat opposite Khushi. He had waved at her at first but she had been lost in her own world. "Oh, nowhere," Khushi replied, returning back to reality. Aryan rolled his eyes at her, this hadn't been the first time she had been lost in her own world. Something was clearly up with her but if she wasn't going to tell him, he didn't see the point in probing. "How was the lecture?" He questioned, changing the subject. "It was okay," she smiled, not that she had been listening. "Where were you? I called you like five times!" She asked in an unimpressed tone. "Oh, I fell asleep and then I had to iron my clothes. To be honest, I had a look at the lecture last night and the notes weren't that good," Aryan replied glumly. "You had to iron your clothes? Seriously Aryan?" She rolled her eyes at him. Aryan was unbelievable!. "Well I like to look presentable, urgh! I can't stand people that walk into lectures with just their pyjamas on. I don't think they should be allowed to enter if they can't dress normal," he commented, annoyance clear in his eyes. Khushi laughed at that, he really was such a drama queen. "Wheres Alisha anyway?" "Oh, she wasn't feeling well," there had been something off with Alisha this morning. "Oh, well that's a shame," Aryan replied.

"So what were you thinking of doing this afternoon then?" Aryan asked, trying to move the conversation on but Khushi didn't seem to be listening, she was too busy looking elsewhere. "Khushi! What is wrong with you?" He shook her elbow, causing her to loose her balance for a second. "Oh my god. You are ogling at that guy from the flat party!" Aryan exclaimed quickly catching onto who she was so intently staring at. "I'm not ogling!" She shot him an annoyed look. She had noticed Arnav walking into the cafeteria suddenly and had been trying to deduce what he was doing, if he had seen her. She looked back and he was no longer there, now she was really annoyed at this Aryan. "Aryan! Oh my god! Where did he go?" "Oh god!" He rolled his eyes, "he's such a creep!"Aryan then commented, forming a disgusted face. "And how is he a creep?" "That's what's his name right?" "You mean Arnav?" "Yeh ARnav," he made a face again, whilst emphasising the first two letters of his name. "There are way too many rumours around him. Plus look at him, half the time he's walking around alone, like a loner." "Aryan, walking around alone doesn't make anyone a loner and nor does it make them a creep," she replied exhausted. "Well it kind of does!" He snapped back.

"Hi guys!" Alisha exclaimed, joining them at the table, whilst two pairs of eyes looked back at her surprised. "What is up?" She questioned, baffled. "Oh sorry," both replied at the same time. Aryan opened his mouth to reply, but Khushi cut in. "We were just having a very heated discussion about Arnav, who Aryan thinks is a creep because he walks around alone." Khushi explained, throwing another dirty look Aryans way. Alisha burst out laughing. They both looked away from each other. Alisha managed to calm her laughing down and started to make an attempt to cool down the situation. "Okay okay guys. Just chill. Why do we care anyway?" She questioned now curious. "Because Khushi is obviously in love with him," Aryan laughed. Khushi was clearly growling and angry now. "What?! Seriously?!" Alisha screamed. "NO!" Khushi exclaimed back. "What I can't look at people now?" "There's looking and then there's ogling!" Aryan corrected. Khushi turned away in a huff once more. "Oh ghosh guys, calm down. Plus Khushi I haven't really heard good things about him either," Alisha quickly added in. "What do you mean?" She was almost scared. "It's just apparently he sleeps around with like everyone. And apparently he can be quite violent. Someone said he also did drugs for a while." Alisha was mumbling now, concerned at how quickly the colour had drained off of her friends face. "Yeh see! I told you he's a creep!" Aryan continued. "I think you should just stay away from him to be honest. He's just a weirdo." "Hmmm," was Khushis only reply.

----

"They could all just be false rumours you know," Khushi quietly mumbled to Alisha, once they were back in her room. "What could all be rumours?" Alisha asked confused. "All the things you were saying about Arnav, he seems like a genuinely nice guy." "Yeh I guess," replied Alisha, "I mean when it comes to guys you can judge them a lot better than I can. Plus Khushi you are capable of handling difficult situations, much more than me anyway. So I really don't know." "Hmm," Khushi replied, "you know what? I'll try hanging out with him a bit more and find out for myself what he's really about. I've never believed in rumours before and just because I'm in a different place, I don't think I'm going to start either." "Up to you," Alisha replied with a reassuring smile. She knew her fried was more than capable of dividing right from wrong. "But then why do you care so much?" Alisha, knew why but she just wanted to hear it from Khushis mouth. Khushi looked back annoyed, why were her friends after this poor guy. "I don't care. I just find him nice to talk to and he's being nice to me." She replied, attempting to stay calm. "He's being nice to you? I don't remember your first impression of him being the best." "Well you can't always judge people on first impressions, if he's making an attempt then I don't see why I shouldn't give him a chance." "Well Khush did you try asking him why he was so rude to you on the first day?" What Alisha said sounded so logical to Khushi but it just hadn't entered her mind. "Oh my ghosh! I totally should!"

----

The next morning Khushi didn't see Arnav. She wanted to talk to him. She'd even rehearsed her questions. Damn it where was he. Then she realised she was being stupid. Maybe he didn't have any lectures that day.

----

"Nani! I'm running late! I told you I'll come if I can make it! Stop creating a fuss!" Arnav exclaimed into the phone. This conversation had been going on for half an hour and they were getting nowhere. "Chote!" Her voice was stern, even more angrier than the previous times, "stop making excuses. I know you have nowhere to go. We haven't seen you in two months. This is getting beyond ridiculous." "Nani! Stop being such a pest. I do have somewhere to go, I have a lot on my mind." "So does everyone chote," she was exhausted of his excuses now, "start facing the world! Stop following in the cowardly footsteps of your father!" And with that she slammed the phone down.

Arnav was seething with anger, this was the way every argument with his nani ended. She always compared him to a person that he wasn't, a person he never aspired to be. He had tried to face it all, to attempt to mend broken relationships, forget the past. But it was difficult. He didn't have that much strength left in him anymore. He just wanted to move away from it, pretend nothing was wrong with his life...

----

Khushi headed out of the building after the lecture, she wanted to go to the library alone and browse for some books. She was making up a list of books to check out in her head when she saw someone that looked like Arnav walk out of the library. She immediately followed. Yep definitely was him, that strong frame, those toned arms. She was surprised at how she could even recognise him now by looking at his back. "Hey! No hi today? Just going to walk away?" She asked coming to a stop in front of him, her face beaming with a smile. But she noticed his face was glum, his mouth fallen. "Oh hi," he replied, a lot quieter than usual attempting to smile. "I didn't see you," he replied casually, no witty comment in return. Something was up. "Is something wrong?" She asked concern clear on her face. "No why would anything be wrong?" He sounded somewhat annoyed. Khushi continued to walk with him, in the opposite direction to the library. "Weren't you going to the library before?" He asked now curious as to why she was continuing down the wrong way. "Oh yeah. I decided I didn't need to check the books out till next week, so why waste an extra week of keeping them," Khushi quickly made up an excuse. Arnav couldn't help but smirk at that, you had to admit it she had a knack for making up excuses. "So what have you been up to today?" She continued attempting to create conversation. "Nothing," he replied glumly. His answers were too short, this couldn't be the same guy who had made Twilight jokes at her yesterday. Khushi was too engrossed in thoughts of what was wrong with Arnav to realise that she was now off of the pavement, standing inches away from an approaching bus. She felt strong arms almost lift her up and move her. "Can't you watch where you are going?" He exclaimed, anger flaring out of his face. Khushi stared back in astonishment, also angry at his sudden outburst. Then she realised that she had been standing in front of a bus. Okay that was kind of her fault but there was no need to get that angry. "Hey! There's no need to shout! I don't know what the hell has got into you! One minute you are nice and the next minute you are the coldest person I know! You know what I'd rather not attempt to make conversation with a brick wall! And a rude one at that!" He stared at her baffled as she continued to scream at him. "You know what?!" She continued "You might be okay with having some sort of split personality disorder but I don't associate with people like that! So goodbye Arnav!" And with that she stomped off. His face turned from an expression of disbelief to hurt. He knew he had hurt her feelings, she had attempted to understand what was wrong and he had shunned her away. Why was it that he always ended up doing the wrong thing.

Khushi came to an abrupt halt. Only then did she realise that he hadn't uttered a word in return to her outburst of anger. He had saved her from an almost accident and she had yelled at him in return. Wasn't it her own fault for not concentrating on where she was going. She turned back around to go back and apologise but he was no longer anywhere to be seen...

She would make things right again...

How can I decide what's right?

When you're clouding up my mind

I can't win your losing fight

He knew it wasn't fair. He had lashed out in anger at her when it was someone elses fault. It was what he always did. It was all someone elses fault and yet the people around him were paying. He was paying.

Nor could I even own what's mine

When you're always taking sides

But you won't take away my pride

No, not this time

Not this time

She had to find out what was wrong. What he was hiding, was eating him up from the inside, he needed to tell someone and she would make sure that she was there to listen to him. Like he had been there for her.

The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I'll figure this one out

On my own... On my own...

Lyrics credit: Decode by Paramore

P.S I may not be able to update the next chapter for a while. My exams start on Monday so not sure if I'll find any time to write, depends on how tight my revision schedule becomes xxx 😛

Again blog if you like http://unpredictablelovebyp.blogspot.co.uk/

"MAAA!" He saw her face again as she lay lifeless. He ran up to her. Grabbed her feet.

"Maa maa" His sobs came before he knew it, he was panting. He tried to move his limbs but they wouldn't move. Why couldn't he move his limbs? He had to save her! She was still alive. He had seconds left.

"Move damn it! Move!" He willed his limbs to move but to no avail. He tried to stand up. He had lost all sensation. He was numb.

"Maa" He formed the words in his mouth but didn't hear them being said. And it all went blank...

"Chote come here, don't you run away from me. You need to have your breakfast!" She was running after him, smiling attempting to make him even more late than he was going to be. "No ma. I need to go," he heard himself say.

"Chote, you know I'll always be there," she hushed him stroking his hair. Her touch still felt so real.

"No! Maaa!" He saw it again. Her body lifeless.

"MAA!" Arnav shot up, shivering, his body drenched in sweat. He closed his eyes, let the pain seep through him. He still relived the moment. He slowly stepped out of bed, already late, the nightmare was nothing new...

----

It was the second week in and Khushi was already engrossed in revision, they hadn't been joking when they said uni was a lot of work. They had been shopping earlier, it had been fun to finally go out of the university boundaries and explore the town. Glasgow was such a lively places, a city of cobbled streets, the hustle and bustle of people busy going around with their daily activities, the sun blazing down, groups of people chatting in outdoor cafes. She was in love with the city, with the sunshine, with the happiness she was feeling.

Life was now flowing smoothly, she still missed her parents, but she was slowly getting used to it, like Arnav had said. "Arnav," she whispered to no one in particular. She hadn't talked to him in almost a week. Every so often her heart would nudge her into thinking of him, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to unnecessarily worry herself. She wasn't sure if she had the courage to confront him once more. She had the urge to talk to him on several occasions but he had always been around a group of friends and he didn't seem to be taking his normal park route anymore either.

She quickly dismissed thoughts of him in her head and continued to make notes. Humming to herself lightly. Life was good when it was simple.

----

Everyone had told her how the good weather didn't last and she saw it for herself for the first time since moving to Glasgow. There was a light drizzle it had blurred the view out of her window and she hadn't even bought a bus pass. "Oh well Khushi. Better get used to the rain," and with that she set off on foot. But you had to admit it was a sight to see, after days of warm weather, the insects and plants were rejoicing, they were quenching their thirst. Little droplets here and there, puddles on the side of the paved road. Everything looked brighter, greener, livelier than she had ever seen. Khushi felt all happy inside, a bright smile adorned her face. And that's when she saw him, it had to be him! She had to speak to him, this had gone on for too long. That day she had decided to get answers and she still hadn't acted upon it. He wasn't that bad.

"Hey stranger!" She jumped in front of him. Arnav had been lost in his own world and jumped back a little at seeing Khushi, who seemed a bit too excited at seeing him. "Hey," he managed to mutter, attempting to contain his surprise and unusual sense of joy. "Not seen you in a while! Figured you had gone into hibernation till next summer."

He had caught onto what was happening now, he had given her space, given himself space. He didn't want to hurt her anymore so had decided to let that connection be. But he couldn't ignore what was there, what was so tangibly real. They were automatically drawn towards each other, in a way he had never known or imagined of before. He had unconsciously made the decision to take his old route again because his heart yearned to talk to her. She made him feel happy inside and he wanted to escape the pain.

He gave a small laugh, "Well too bad for you I don't do that till autumn." "Oh damn, so I got my hopes for no reason then?" She was much more at ease now, he seemed his normal calm self. "Pretty much. Wait! You got your hopes at the fact that I was hibernating, ouch!" He laughed. "Oh such a drama queen," she rolled her eyes at him. "Says the one that jumped in front of me, nearly giving me a heart attack. Thought I was going to get raped!" "Yeh because that's the way rapists approach," she retorted, glad the conversation was going nowhere bad. "That's the way I imagine them to, not done a masters in rapists like you seem to have," he winked. "Urgh, whatever, leave me alone!" She said pretending to be upset. "Okay, okay Miss too excited for rain! I'll let you off." "What's wrong with rain? It's made everything look so bright!" "Seriously? Are you joking?" He asked surprised, this one really was one of a kind. "Yes! Nature is beautiful, in each and every one of its forms!" She sounded so untouched by the cruel world, he hoped it would remain like that. That she never be made to feel a pain like the one he lived with. He smiled at her genuine happiness, the joy she seemed to take from every simple aspect of life.

----

Khushi stepped out into the constant drizzle, her mind wondering off to the events of the past two months, too happy for words. He always seemed to put her through a roller-coaster ride of emotions and yet she didn't seem to mind. In fact it was almost as if she craved it. He had said he'd meet her after her lecture so she looked round, he was nowhere to be seen. "Maybe he got a bit late," she thought and checked the time, no she was the one that was twenty minutes late. "Great! He probably left thinking I had," she nearly kicked herself in annoyance. "Oh Khushi how you can't be punctual on the few occasions you need to be I can't understand!" She was arguing with herself. "Do you always mumble and growl at yourself?" He asked, almost giving her a fright, eyebrow raised with that smirk of his she loved. "You scared me!" "Good. We are even now then," he replied, his voice full of mischief. "I didn't see you," she said attempting to brush off the fact that he had seen her talking to herself. "Oh I was wearing my invisibility cloak," he replied sarcastically. "Very funny," she pouted aiming a light slap his way as he jumped back, attempting to avoid it. "What's up? You seem stressed," Arnav had caught on to it the moment he'd seen her step out, she was such an open person that even the subtlest of changes was obvious. Khushi was left baffled once again, they had been hanging out a lot yes, but she really couldn't grasp how he was able to read her so quickly. "Just got my first exam coming up," she replied truthfully, sulking. "Aah, not to worry, I'm sure you'll do fine," he smiled at her reassuringly. She wished he would smile more often, it made him look even more handsome than usual and gave a softer tone to his normal rugged look.

They took the park route back, Khushi desperately wanted to cross that 2cm distance between his thumb and her small finger. She had this desperate desire to just entangle her finger in his, then her hand, see how well her fingers would fit into the spaces between his fingers. She could feel heat radiating off of his body, pulsating through her own. They were nearly at her flat when she finally plucked up the courage to ask the question. "Arnav..." "Hmmm," he continued to look forward but she knew he was listening. "How come you never talk about your family?" He froze, his eyes wide and slowly turned around to face her. His eyes at first showed confusion but slowly transitioned into a distant vacant expression, his face darkening as she watched. He looked down, away, it was almost as if he was in pain. But she wasn't one for stopping. The rain had seized now, there was a calm quiet in the atmosphere that was slowly engulfing them. She led him to a wet concrete slab and sat him down. He was still lost in thought. She wanted answers, she needed to know why he turned so grim at the mention of his family.

"Arnav. I have all night and neither of us are leaving till you tell me what's wrong."

Hard to find a way to get through

Its a tragedy

Pulling at me like the starts do

You're like gravity

Even if the wind blows

It makes it hard to believe

He slowly turned around to face her, his expression torn. He wanted to tell her he wanted to unload his pain but he wasn't sure he was ready yet, if he would ever be ready. If someone else should be put through the tale he had to say.

Doesn't even matter to you

To see what I can see

I'm crawling on the floor to reach you

I'm a wreck you see

When you're far from home

Makes it hard to believe

She slowly took his hand into hers and looked into his eyes, her features had softened. "You know you can tell me Arnav, it doesn't matter what it is, you can tell me."

How ya gonna love

How ya gonna feel

How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real

And if you lost your way

I will keep you safe

We'll open up all the world inside

I see it come alive tonight

I will keep you safe

And that one gesture was enough, he knew he had to tell someone and he knew that if he had to choose one person to say it to he wouldn't choose anyone but her.

It was going to be a long night. ...

Lyrics credit Safe by Westlife

Image credit Sheree (http://www.flickr.com/photos/shereezielke/3246648717/)

Thanks for reading!

This is my last update till Thursday, I have too much cramming planned and if I attempt to write anymore, the story will probably end up loosing its essence. But to make up for no updates I will attempt to put up two chapters on Thursday :) x

Again blog if you like: http://unpredictablelovebyp.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/chapter-5-shades-of-pink-shades-of-us.html

Arnav came to an abrupt halt. "Damn it! I forgot my phone!" He had already jogged for 10 minutes but jogging was now only an excuse to get away. The situation at home was worsening day by day, everyone was changing, he didn't know who he knew and who he didn't know anymore. Should he trust anyone? When the one person who he had had the most faith in, his role model had let him down? He wanted to escape it all, just get away. He craved oblivion.

But there was this impulse, he never left anywhere without his phone and he didn't want to worry his mother. She was already going through so much. "Is it really that important?" Yes it was, something was pulling him back...

His pace was slower on the way back, a memory in each step, anger, pain betrayal, disappointment. This wasn't supposed to happen to him. Things did not end this way. He had been blessed with a happy family and it was supposed to continue that way. In a split second every thing was over. Everything. He closed his eyes and let the events of that night consume him. Things would never again be the same.

He needed to find strength in himself, take responsibility, but would he be capable? He wanted to back away, yes it was cowardly but he wasn't sure if he could face it anymore, if he could bare the pain written over his mothers face. That man had taken everything away, he had turned her into a soulless creature who had seeked revenge, had got revenge. And now she couldn't face the world. She knew what she had committed, they all knew, she knew it was only a matter of time before they found everything out. Arnav quickened his steps, he needed to talk to his mother whilst no one else was there, he needed to make her understand. He had took his decision and he was going to attempt to fix it, put the broken pieces back together.

----

She stood pacing around her room, her movements measured, slow, thoughtful. She had been going over and over it in her mind, one impulsive decision had possibly lead to even more disaster than she had ever imagined. Her kids would now no longer have a proper future, her daughters life was already ruined and her sons would be too. They would forever be known as a murderers children, be mocked and made fun of over and over again. And it was all her fault, first her failing marriage, then her betrayal and now what she had done.

She suddenly stopped pacing. She had made her decision. This was the way things would end, the way things had to end. She couldn't let this continue, she couldn't let her past overshadow her children's future, she would have to make this sacrifice for them.

----

Arnav stepped into the house his gaze fixed towards the stairs, it was eerily quiet but no one else was at home and it was always like that these days. The bubbly happy people that had once inhabited the house were not the same anymore. They now had difficulty facing each other, facing themselves, facing reality.

"Maaa, maaa!" He made his way up the stairs, taking slower steps than usual, preparing what he had to say in his mind. He knew he should have did this earlier but hadn't been able to. He hadn't had the strength to, but it was now or never. He had to attempt to make things better before it was too late, before she started blaming herself before he lost her too.

He couldn't hear anything, she must have heard him. "Maaa!" Louder now, quickening his steps, his heart beating faster on its own accord. He was running up the stairs now, along the corridor, at the back of his mind he knew something was wrong. Something had happened...

"MAAA!" The scream escaped out of his mouth, tears sprouted out of his eyes. "MAAA!" It was a cry out of desperation, out of fear, out of knowing what had happened, out of knowing what was going to happen.

He scrambled over towards her body, she was still alive. "Maa Maa! Maaa get up! get up! Maa I know you are still alive! Come back to me! Come back!" He screamed, shaking her, willing her to get up, to look at him. "Maa it's okay, it'll all be okay," he reassured her. "Why isn't she getting up damn it!" "Get up! Maa! Get up! GET UP! You can't leave me! You can't leave di! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" He was screaming at her now, his face soaked with tears.

Her hand fell limp out of his. Her body gave a slight jerk and slackened. He immediately took her into his arms and hugged her lifeless body close to his, rocking it.

"MAAA!" It was a cry of a boy who had lost everything dear, of a boy who was seeing his life breaking down in front of his eyes. It was the cry of a boy who would never be the same again.

I close both locks below the window

I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

Pink cards and flowers on your window

Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you...

----

"I was too late Khushi, I was too late! I could've saved her, I should have told her. I was too late." His voice was barely a whisper, hoarse with raw emotion, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. She was too shocked for words. Khushi wanted to comfort him, let him know that he shouldn't feel guilty but her thoughts were scattered all over the place. She was still attempting to comprehend the events of his memories. Still trying to understand why the world had been so harsh.

Suddenly his grip on her hand loosened and he stood up. She stared back at him taken back by his sudden movement. "I'm sorry, it's late and I've kept you out way too long already. Come one I'll drop you to your door." He was back to the shut out Arnav Singh Raizada now, all evidence of the one that had been there a mere few seconds ago gone. His walls were back up and this time it was her fault. She hadn't been able to utter a single comforting word in return. She gulped in guilt and stood up unable to form a coherent sentence. He pulled on her hand and led the way, she walked back in a daze, still processing his story, repeating it over and over again in her mind and didn't even realise when they had got to her door. He let go of her hand slowly and turned around to walk off as she looked at his retreating back as her eyes welled up with tears. She cried that night, for god knows how long, for him, for his family, for a person who had so much love to give and was given so little in return, for the man she was falling in love with and for the walls that he would never break down...

Lyrics Credit: Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park

Picture Credit Ladanseuse http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladanceuse/4887522765/in/set-72157624344220589

Once again thanks for reading and all the comments! They really do encourage me to write! x

And again you can read it on the blog page too:

http://unpredictablelovebyp.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/chapter-6-breaking-down-your-walls.html