I know I said I would continue last weekend itself, but ugh, I was having too many problems with my net... for which reason I couldn't even upload the vm I had made for my friend Bebo's birthday.. :( Finally worked out the glitches today, and I'm back! *fingers crossed* u'll like this update! Waiting for comments friends!
- Chapter 3 -
Fury.
It seemed to course through every vein in my body. Jijaji's words echoed in my ear like nails on a chalkboard. She's after the money. I flinched, a streak of agony washing over me. But her betrayal was just plain reality. A reality that I would have to accept.
Thunder grumbled in the sky, after which followed the frequent flashes of lightning. The wind was picking up. A storm was coming.
I turned to the angelic figure beside me, who slept, unafflicted by the turmoil both within and surrounding me. I pursed my lips, gripping the steering wheel tighter to avoid doing something that I might come to regret. However, it seemed that along with the rest of my body, my eyes were not willing to co-operate with me either. Betraying me, they strayed to Khushi's sleeping face, capturing her image within them.
Her eyes were closed and a light blush coloured her cheeks. Strands of loose hair fell upon her tender lips, shaking with every breath she took. I had the sudden urge to simply touch her, caress her and hold her in ways even she could not have thought possible. But the memories of tonight would stand as barriers between us for a long time to come.
I sighed, as I gazed at her for a final time. By now, a small smile had crept up her lips, making her seem all the more innocent. My eyes stopped at last at the sign I had left her with a moment ago. The blood snaked down her maang, threatening to slither down her forehead too, if it were not stopped. It was the sign that every woman cherished. One that every woman had probably fondled dreams of. It was the sign of togetherness. Togetherness for a lifetime and beyond. It meant the start of a relationship where committment, love and trust were vital. It was a symbol of marriage.
I fixed my gaze on the road ahead of me, refusing to think of what I had just done to her moments ago. It's only marriage. Went my thoughts. It's not like I hurt her - well, at least not physically anyway. But to be entirely truthful, I was not anticipating her reaction upon awaking. In fact, I was downright dreading it. I groaned, banging my fist on the steering wheel. I was Arnav Singh Raizada. The man who lived and cared only about himself. Then since WHEN, can someone kindly tell me, had I started caring about what Khushi thought about me?! Since when had I bothered about what Khushi felt?! Although my mind was not willing to accept it, my heart already knew the answers to these questions.
Since the moment I had set eyes on her.
The memories washed over me like the angry waves of an ocean. The way she had fallen in my arms on the day of the fashion show. The way I had disgraced her in Lakhnow. The day she had bumped into my car with her scooter. The day I had offered her a job. The guest-house. Her near-death experience. The knowledge that I had been responsible for it. All those times where I had hated the mere sight of her. Khushi's resignation.
I stepped on the breaks, feeling my heart sinking. I had hurt her so much. Given her a countless number of scars which would most likely never heal. My eyes flitted towards the sleeping figure once again. Only this time, I felt all the more apologetic. I wanted to sink into her arms and apologize for every time... every moment that I had caused her pain. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming.
I leaned my head against the seat, trying to stop the tears on the verge of spilling. "I'm sorry Khushi..." I murmured, knowing full well that she could not hear me. Khushi and I had been through so much. Our relationship had developed so much. Our relationship. I looked into her closed eyes, searching frantically for answers. Do you feel something between us Khushi...? But it was a stupid thought. Of course she didn't feel anything between us. My mind wandered to the conversation I had had with Shyam. A new bitterness surfaced within me.
How could you Khushi?! I was furious. No. That was an understatement. How could you betray my trust? How could I have been so wrong about you?!
It was as if I was having a quarrel with myself. Although there was a part of me that held nothing but hatred for Khushi, there was another part which asked the questions which I dreaded knowing the answers to.
What if it was I who judged her wrongly? What if Shyam was the one lying in all of this? What if I had made a mistake by not asking Khushi about all this?
I shuddered, realizing that I simply did not want to face these questions. I was Arnav Singh Raizada. I was always right. I had to be. I turned my eyes away from her as I started the car. Khushi was the liar. There was no two ways about that. It was final. And I would hear nothing more. The remainder of the ride was grim. I refused to think about the past. I refused to think about HER. I wanted to simply throw her out of my life. Push her away. Pretend that the 59 days that I had known her were nothing but a nightmare. But destiny had other plans for me. The dark red blood which lined her maang was visible even out of the corner of my eye. It stood as the reminder of my actions. It was a bond that I had forcefully created to protect my sister. I was only doing this for my sister. Only for her.
But lying to myself was simply worthless. The truth would remain the truth. And the truth was that I could not bear to see her in anyone else's arms. The thought of her with my jijaji was horrific. And in the last 10 minutes of the drive home, I had imagined the worst of it. Shyam and Khushi hugging... kissing... sleeping...
I shuddered. No. My decision to marry Khushi had been absolutely right. There was only one problem in all of this. It would be extremely difficult for me to hate her. But for her sake. For Di's sake. I would have to. Remember Arnav, she betrayed the family. But somehow, gazing at her innocent features and smiling lips, my theory seemed thoroughly and entirely impossible.
I was just about to turn my eyes to her, when she stirred. Her eyebrows skewed into a confused frown as her hand reached to inspect the wettness on her maang. My heart froze in panic. She had felt it. She lowered her hand, squinting, half-asleep, at the sticky liquid. It wasn't long before realization struck her. I fixed my eyes to the road, trying my best to transform from the faint-hearted Arnav to the heartless ASR. I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead as I awaited her reaction. She was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. My grip on the steering wheel tightened automatically. From the reflection of the window, I could see her hand quivering in shock. This was not going to be pleasant. I knew that much. My throat suddenly felt dry.
She slowly turned to me, her eyes depicting full-fledged shock. "A-Arnavji...?"
END
hehe... ok, that's it for now friends!!! Sorry, I felt kinda pent up from not writing last weekend! Iss liye itna kuch likh gayyi! I know, this portion was just about Arnav's thoughts and perspectives, but next update will feature Khushi's reaction to Arnav's marriage with her!!!😆 Lol!!! Anyways, no commentsh, no updatesh, oks jaanus?! 🤗 Luv ya all!!! And this was just something I penned down in 15 minutes! Sorry if it was no good! I'll try to make the next one better!!!! :)
What I wanted to get across from this update was basically the fact that Arnav CANNOT hate her. He's completely past that stage and there is no question of hatred anymore! So what will he do? How will he handle the situation? Read more!😳
Edited by ---Pari--- - 13 years ago
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