Life Out Of Control #3 - Imp Note pg 51 - Page 20

Chapter 17 - An end of one thing, the start of another

"Finally!" Muskaan sighed as she slumped down onto the visitors' sofa, lying down, head on one end and legs on the other.

"Excuse me? Main yahaan par baithne wala tha." An indignant man replied, with a cup of coffee in his hands.

"Toh, main kya karun?" Muskaan retorted, not budging from the comfortable position she was in.

"Muski chod na, chal hum canteen chalte hain. Mood kyun bigad rahi hai." Nikki joined her. "Soch, final paper over. After days and days of grueling like dogs, freedom!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands out wide. The man with his coffee had to duck to avoid getting slapped in the face while Nikki enjoyed her moment!

But Muskaan was in one of her happiest and unfortunately most stubborn mood.

"Nope, main yahaan se nahin hilungi. Jisse jo karna hai kare."

"Sir, it'll be better if you go. Iss haathi ko yahaan se nikaalna mushkil hoga." Rahul put in, as he trailed into the reception area with the rest of the gang, his heart finally free of the burden exams had put onto him and everyone else.

"Oye, haathi kisse bulaya?" Muskaan caught on, sat up immediately and fired up, hearing this comment.

"Tujhe. Kyun? Problem hai kya?" Rahul replied sharply.

"Nahin, mujhe haathi bulate ho, aur mujhe problem hogi?" Muskaan asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Which world have you come from? Please, just go back there!" she fumed, riling up in an instant. The rest of the interns just looked on, half amused and half shocked.

"I wouldn't mind going back. Tum jo nahin hogi wahaan pe." Rahul's cutting remark shot back and hit home, as Muskaan's eyes darkened suddenly.

"Good." She whispered dangerously, not breaking her eye contact with him.

"Good." Was the answer with the same amount of hurt seeping through.

Fortunately for them though, the man sat down on the sofa, evidently glad he got his seat back amongst this arguing session. The ruffling of the newspaper caught Muskaan's attention as she diverted her gaze towards him. Oh, he dared to actually sit there? Ok, he was so having it!

"Oy, Mister! Maine kahaan na? Go find another place. Ek toh yeh sab tumhaari wajah se hua, aur upar se.."

"Muski, leave it na. Look, let's go somewhere else." Riddhima put in, cautious of the seriousness behind Muskaan and Rahul's argument. They had been at each other's throats for ages! And despite getting tired of all these tiffs between them, everyone else was really getting worried. If they hadn't been married, they'd probably have called their whole relationship off! And that would have been difficult to handle for everyone.

"Fine!" She threw a dirty glance at the man, who calmly sipped his coffee and kept it on the side table, opening a newspaper, clearly ignoring her. She turned, and fled out of the place, causing Riddhima and Nikki to rush after her.

"Yaar, kyun baar baar use tang karta hai?" Armaan asked, exasperated with all this as he slapped Rahul's back and led him to the corridor. For crying out loud, their final paper was over, they had a two month break in which there was blissful nothingness, and on top of that, Rahul and Muskaan had to start it off badly? Where did the sense go in the world? And Riddhima, with her basket of insecurities would just continue getting more worried! Couldn't these two idiots see how their stupidness was affecting other people?!

"Matt pooch. Just because I didn't do the dishes the other night to help her out, she created such a huge fuss. Then when I agreed, she said it wasn't about me doing or not doing the dishes, it was about me wanting to do the dishes! Who wants to dishes?!" Rahul asked, clearly baffled with the idea. "I know she hates doing it, then when I suggested getting a dishwasher, she refused, saying it's too expensive and all that! Abe yaar, main kya karoon? Seriously, when girlfriend becomes wife, dude you have tension in your life!"

"Heyy come on. It can't be that bad. I bet all is great in the bedroom though."Abhi winked, forcing Armaan to snort suddenly, and hi five Abhi, not noticing Rahul's sullen expression after he rolled his eyes.

"It would be, if she consented to sleep in the same room as me after our fights. Baat ko itna kheenchti hai, yaar, poocho hi mat!" he grumbled, forcing both, Armaan and Abhi stop their guffawing and sniggering.

"Wait, what? And poor Raauuulll keeps pining for her throughout the night." Armaan suddenly put in cheerfully.

"Chod yaar. So, where's the party?" was the immediate energetic reply and just like that, the topic was closed without further discussion. It's a guy thing.

That night, Riddhima sat at the table, the disco lights flashing constantly on her face, the music pumping, and its beats getting into the building itself. All this was giving her a headache, if nothing more. In the corner, Sid was chatting with Rahul and Atul, while Muskaan and Anjali were in a serious discussion. Yeah, Muskaan needed that. Advice from a married woman! Funnily enough, she couldn't see Abhi and Nikki around, which meant one thing. And that, she didn't like to picture.

"You really aren't into partying are you?" Armaan asked, kissing her hair, then cheeks as he joined her at the booth. He put his arm around her waist possesively, bringing her closer with a sudden jerk. She loved being so close to him, smelling his musky cologne, mixed with after shave, and feeling his caring arm around her, protecting her from any harm.

"Nahh.." she replied, sipping her drink, watching everyone on the dance floor, but not finding the will power or energy to join them.

Her normal after exam routine would be sleep, sleep and sleep some more till she'd caught up on all those hours she'd missed out on! Not sleep then be dragged awake by Nikki and Muskaan, forced into a dress, prettied up and presented in a club to party because exams were over. Yes, she got why people did that, but she could honestly find no enthusiasm in it what so ever. Especially when she was deprived of her needful and beauty sleep!

"You want to get out of here?" he whispered huskily in her ear, giving her chills down her spine, and without another thought, she nodded once, wondering why on earth she was still affected so much by his mere voice! What was it about this guy that just made her love him so much? Was it his easy going attitude? His care for everyone? Too much care for everyone? Yeah probably, she smiled as she recalled how he had dragged a startled Muskaan and a confused Rahul onto the dance floor, forcing them to dance together while both awkwardly tried to move to the beats a meter apart, not being able to get into sync with the music at all! Well, at least he had tried, he defended himself when he caught Riddhima giggling at his flop plan.

It was a mixture of everything. He was a mixture of everything. Armaan Mallik. The one and only guy she'd ever fallen for. The one who would always manage to take her breath away. The one who was stupid, impulsive, childish, but loved by everyone. Especially her. He knew her inside out. And he needed her. Of that she was sure. Why, she couldn't exactly pin point. But what if one day that need ceased to exist? What if..? Riddhima groaned as these thoughts clouded her mind. Not again! She'd been battling them for the past few weeks, and now here they were, resurfacing! Why?!

"Let's go.." Armaan's soft voice made its way into her brain as she mechanically followed him out of the club, her head immersed in these thoughts.

* * * * *

"Ok.. out with it. What's bothering you?" he questioned as they sat on the bonnet of his car. Armaan had driven both of them out of main city center, and they were now practically in the middle of nowhere. But she trusted him enough to not be bothered by the lack of people and activity around them. Heck, she probably trusted him more than her life. So it definitely wasn't this that was bothering her, she concluded.

"Nothing, Armaan." She whispered, pushing her head back on his shoulder and munching on the last KFC fries that were left from their takeaway.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, dejected that she couldn't confide in him. But Riddhima was starting to lose her cool at his constant nagging.

"Armaan I myself don't know what's happening. Can we give it a rest?"

"I'm sorry, I tried giving it a rest. I can't help it. It's eating me up inside, not knowing what you're worried about!" he said exasperated.

"Look, forget it yeah, let's go home." She stuffed the empty cardboard boxes inside the paper bag, and made to get off before Armaan held her back.

"I don't know why you're finding it so difficult to talk about. But please let me know. Don't just shut me out."

"Armaan..I'm not shutting you out!" she tried explaining. "How can I tell you what's wrong with me when I myself have no clue!" They both slid onto the ground and she looked away, aware that his gaze was on her face, trying to solve her puzzled mind.

Armaan was not buying this lie. There was something, and he'd seen it surface quite a few times over the past month. She was thinking deeply and not exactly in a positive way. Urgh, how much this bothered him!

"There's no need to lie.."

"There's no need to force it out of me either!" she snapped back, cutting him off. Her sharp tone sent a flicker of hurt through his eyes but in that moment he sighed in frustration. She was aware that her lack of sleep was probably acting up on her, not to mention her days, but this was the limit! Taking a deep breath to keep the boiling in her blood at a minimum level, she continued. "Look, you were the one who said I didn't have to tell you, then why are you so hell bent on forcing it out of me?"

"Because this small matter, whatever it is, has been bothering you for so long! And I can't help but think it has something to do with me, with us!" he muttered, trying to keep his own cool.

"It's nothing serious!" she explained, wondering when he would stop 'daddy-ing' her around.

"Good one. That's why it's been on your mind continuously for the past month?! Maybe more and I was too blind to see it!" Armaan raised his voice slightly, and she shut her eyes in anger, letting his words get to her.

"Look can you stop all the nagging! Can't you just accept it for once?!"

"Riddhima this is the same sort of thing that led to the whole Sasha affair!"

Riddhima's eyes widened as she heard Armaan's accusatory tone.

"Are you blaming that thing on me? I was the one who broke us up? I was the one who didn't trust you? I was the one who took impulsive decisions?" she seethed as Armaan threw his head up towards the sky. Yes her words burnt, but he had to learn to bear them. It would really be impossible for her to ever forget that whole issue.

"No, it was the miscommunication between us! Just like now!"

"Yeah, so since I'm the one who always seems unable to communicate, it all comes down to me then doesn't it?" she looked back at him squarely in his eyes, hurt clouding her vision.

"You're taking the wrong meaning out of what I said! I merely meant.."

"You meant that it was my entire fault. I get it." She interrupted, clenching her jaws and fists. "Everything is always my fault. Happy?"

"Oh..my..God!" he replied, putting extra emphasis on each word. "I merely meant that our miscommunication led to those circumstances! Tell me, Riddhima, had I known from the start about your feeling of being neglected by me, would I have spent as much time with Arjun and Sasha? Had I known Arjun's nerve to ask you out, would I have even looked at him without wanting.."

"Armaan forget it yeah.. I'm the one with issues here. I never talk to you, I never tell you anything." She interrupted, but Armaan was not having any of it.

"I'm not saying that!"

"No you're not but that's what you mean don't you? Because as far as I remember, I tried to talk to you about it! Remember the picnic? The day before? Where were you when I explained everything? Or maybe there was something lacking in my explanation?" she accused him, shrugging his hand off her shoulder.

"I don't mean that at all, why do you keep thinking like that?"

"What else do you expect me to do when you say this is the reason all those incidences that occurred in the first place?"

"Not you, the misunderstanding!" he explained himself.

"You know what, forget it! I don't want to talk about it."

"It's time you do! I don't think you realize what this can lead to!"

"What? Another break up?" the words flew out of her mouth before she could even realize them, and her eyes widened in astonishment.

Armaan shut his eyes as realization dawned on him. He let it sink in inside him, let her words make their way into the very depth of his being before he could stable and will himself to open them again. When he did, he saw her face aghast just before she turned around, not wanting him to see the raw emotions that had begun streaming down her face. How could she explain the amount of hurt she had been through that time? How could she explain that it kept coming back to her, no matter how much she tried to make it go away? That and more? How could she explain that it made her question her relationship with him to such an extent that at times, she actually considered breaking it off! But the mere thought of living without him filled up her mind and she'd chide herself immediately for even thinking of such a concept! She ran a frustrated hand through her fringes, to the back of her scalp, before letting go. Her eyes squeezed shut and she bit her lips in an effort to stop herself from sobbing. Why had such thoughts clouded her mind? Why, when everything seemed to be going so perfectly, was she so worried that the past may repeat itself, in one form or another? Why was she so paranoid? She wasn't ever like that! Armaan had changed her to such an extent that she couldn't even decipher it! Yet life without him now seemed so meaningless, that the mere image of it sent deadly chills throughout her whole body.

Armaan stared at her back, hoping she would turn around, and say something. However the silence prevailed between them. The eerie wind now whistled between them having its say while the two could not bring themselves to say another word. He looked back over the cliff, feeling the cold grip him all of a sudden. How had over looked something like that? How had not managed to figure out what would be tormenting her every single day? How had he? Again, the same question arose in his mind that had been put to rest by none other than the woman he could now find now words for, but adored so dearly. Had he done the right thing by coming back? Had he done the right thing by letting her accept him in her life once more? Was it possible to continue a relation that had already once been broken before? Was it possible for the thread to hold as strong as it once was, when the shredded ends were tied together?

Riddhima shuddered as the howling voice of the wind filled her ears. She wished Armaan would come and wrap his arms around her. But nothing like that happened. And she didn't blame him either. He thought she was over this. Heck, she herself did too. Then those emotions that suddenly erupted inside her, causing her to pick a fight with the one person she loved the most, came from which origin? Why couldn't she pin point the exact cause of it, which would lead her to the exact solution? Why couldn't she turn around, rush to his side and embrace him in a hug so warm that would melt away the very source of these undecipherable feelings? Why didn't his soft touch enclose her and assure her that he was all she needed! Where were they suddenly going wrong?

"We should get going.." his quiet voice cut the thick atmosphere, sending piercing arrows into her chest. Her throat blocked of its own accord, so all she could do was nod back silently, and make her way to the passenger seat of the car. How had everything changed in a matter of minutes? She wouldn't know. How had a nearly perfect escapade turned out to be such a disaster? She had no clue. And when she looked to the side for any answers, all she could see was blankness. What was he thinking? She didn't understand.

* * * * *

Riddhima checked her phone for the millionth time that day. Nope, no call, no message. It was so weird not being on the phone with him constantly! It was even worse not being on normal talking terms with him! He hadn't called her, he hadn't checked up on her, and it had been a good 24 hours since he had dropped her off! Her heart sunk faster as she thought of the possibility of him going into some shell and not letting her know about it. Wait, hadn't she done the same thing though? Hadn't she withdrawn completely and refused to let him in? Her phone suddenly buzzed continuously and she rushed to her bedside table to check the caller id.

Armaan tossed and turned in his bed unable to sleep. Her words kept reverberating inside him and it was his thoughts that frightened him more now. Had he really done the right thing? Of course, the past few months had been nothing but bliss compared to the time without her, and not once had he questioned himself about it. But was it possible that all that time he was living a lie? She was living a lie? Were they both really over what had happened? If she had learnt to live with it then why she still so insecure about him leaving? If she had learnt to leave everything behind her, and start afresh with him, then why was she holding on to the shredded ends of something best forgotten about? Because she couldn't forget about it! It was Riddhima. One could call her strong, but only he knew the real, vulnerable her, which he had managed to strip down, observe and embrace. No matter how hard her exterior was, inside she was just as much, if not more, delicate and fragile. Then what he had done a good six months back may have possibly scarred her for the rest of her life! As he let that thought find its way inside him, he punched his pillow in sheer effort to drain out all his energy and have some sleep. Impossible. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Did he really deserve her? Not being able to do anything else, he took his phone and dialed her number swiftly.

"Help me!" Sid wailed as soon as Riddhima picked up her phone.

"What now?" she sighed, not in the mood for his stupid antics.

"Huh? What do you mean 'what now?' I'm in dire need of aid and you're busy concerned with other things?"

"Yes, like my sleep!" she huffed, knowing she was lying to him. Coz in truth, she'd slept for a good many hours, woke up around mid-afternoon (her mother was aware of her post exam sleep deprivation trauma), tried to sort her head out but found it was impossible, so since then tried to garner all her courage to call Armaan but failed miserably each time. As a result she'd just put her phone away in the hope that he would do the honours. Fat chance.

"Tujhe teri neend ki fikar hai! And I'm here trying to control my anger."

"Anger for what?"

"Don't ask, there's this other intern who is hell bent on proving me wrong. Goody two shoes, and even worse, sometimes she's right!"

"So good right, you get competition?" Riddhima sighed nonchalantly.

"Good? Competition? Yaar, she's purposely making my life living hell!" he complained.

"How? Obviously if you're right you're right, she's right she's right!"

"I'll tell you how." He grumbled. "If I say I think the patient may have signs of TB, obviously he's been coughing out blood and having fever, then she'd say.." he changed his tone to a high prissy one. "But ma'am, I don't think we should confirm that until we've taken their x-ray."

Riddhima shook her head. What childishness was this?

"So miane kab kahaan he definitely has TB? I just said he may! And what's more, it happens every time! Kis janam ki dushmani hai iski mere saath?"

"Can you stop referring to her as a 'she'? She probably has a name you know!"

"Yeah she does, unfortunately. Nawal Shariff."

"Oh, she's actually really nice. And a dedicated doctor."

"Not you too! Damn it." He muttered and Riddhima tried to hide her giggles.

"She's the part Indian part European right?"

"Yeah. And is it only me who isn't affected by her so called charisma?!"

"Maybe.." Riddhima smirked thinking how it would be if Nawal and Sid suddenly fell in love.

She remembered meeting Nawal. A beautiful, head strong girl. Sure, there was nothing out of the world about her except her simplicity. With waves that fell down just below her shoulders and she normally kept tied up, and smart, square, semi framed glasses on her nose, she looked well reasonable. And Riddhima, who had one day bumped into her during her week full of exams, admired the light brown eyes which held a lot of intellect behind them and rounded cheeks! But more than that, despite her modern day image, there was something drawing about her smooth voice, which suggested that she had always been a soft spoken person.

"Yaar, she's so annoying! I hate her so much! Been working with her for just a month and I already can't stand the sight of her and her nerdy glasses! She's so irri..shit." Sid stopped off in the middle, and Riddhima who was about to reprimand him for his words shut up.

"I'm sorry I give you that impression." Riddhima heard a tender, hurt voice in the background as her mouth stopped dropped open.

"Wait..Miss Know..damn it..Nawal.." Sid called, and Riddhima presumed she had walked away from where Sid was.

"You are so dead Sid. Go to her and apologize!" Riddhima said over the phone in a deadly tone.

"What, why should I..?"

"You hurt a girl's feelings! What are you sixteen? Go and say you're sorry and try and get along with her!"

"I'll talk to you later." Sid mumbled into the phone, and Riddhima desperately hoped he'd go and apologize.

Engaged, again! Damn it, who was she talking to for so long? Maybe Anjali. Or Atul, yeah, basket could go on for whole eternity when she was with them. Maybe it was one of their other friends. But hadn't she missed him like he had? She hadn't even sent him one text the whole day. He on the other hand had missed like crazy! And yet he hadn't been able to bring himself to call her. Sighing, he got out of bed and sat on the window sill in his room. Were things really that complicated as they made them out to be? Was it all really unsolvable? Would Riddhima ever truly accept him, not that she hadn't, but that fear still lingered in her mind. How could he erase it? Of one thing he was sure, he loved her so much. Life without her would be meaningless. Then where did small issues such as these come up from? And how on earth would they get rid of them?

Riddhima sighed as she let the wind tug at the ends of her open hair. What exactly was happening? And when would all these problems sort out? He phone buzzed four times indicating she had received two messages.

'Shopping tomorrow. Muski will be coming. Got important news! xo' - Niks

Well, her tomorrow was occupied, she mused as she checked the second text.

'Lunch tomorrow? I love you. xxx' - Armaan

Her heart immediately started hammering against her rib cage. Yes, yes, yes! Anything to see him, talk to him and resolve their differences!

'Sure. xxx' She pressed the send button and smiled to herself. She could have called him, but discussing the issue over the phone was not convenient. And they'd end up doing that! It was better just meeting him and talking it over.

Armaan smiled as he received her text. Now he could have a few hours of sleep at least! Whispering a 'love you' to the phone, he set it on his bedside table and waited for tomorrow. Tomorrow would be a new day. It could bring new solutions, new emotions or new problems. They would just have to wait and find out.

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Ahem..yeah..don't kill me guys..it's needed..😆

Chapter Is finito..I'll try update the next one next week..and Replies to all the comments will also come sometime during the week 😊 One more thing..please don't forget to comment or press the like tab.. Love you guys.

Originally posted by: Castle-Beckett

Why haven't you changed the title?

And I Love You :* 🤗

Originally posted by: Pious_KaSh

Loved it!!!
And why is Riddhima so insecure? Is it an intuition???

Luv
Nandi