Posted:
Hello..am back with another One Shot😳
Tried different writing style...Wrote this from Shilpa's POV...though it didn't come out the way I wanted it to🤔
But here it is...enjoy!
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Endless Pain
Grabbing my car keys, I left my house in a hope to find some peace. I couldn't tolerate the problems anymore. I had no strength left, or hope. Hope for things to get better. I've been hoping against hope from past 5 years for things to get better, but things only got worse. I followed the path, without knowing where it led. I was going over everything that had happened and the things that were still going on. I suddenly felt my eyes blurry and noticed tears running down my cheeks. I parked my car near a park. It was quiet as it was really late in the night. I took a seat on the bench and broke down; I couldn't handle my tears anymore. I decided not to share my problems with anyone coz I had realized that people only pretend to care, and those who do care, I didn't want them to worry about me. I've given them enough pain, and my pain was endless. The fact that they were there for me was enough to make me feel better.
I sat there crying for the rest of the night, not knowing how to deal with things. I wanted to leave the house, forever. Yes, I might sound selfish but that was the only way I would survive. Living in that house makes me feel suffocated now and I wished for things to be the same as they were before.
I turned to look behind as I felt a hand on my shoulder. My eyes were red and swollen I bet, but I still wished that they looked normal, just so that he doesn't ask me questions. But who was I kidding? He caught me in less than one second.
"You were crying?" He asked raising his eyebrows. First I whispered a no but nodded yes when I saw him narrowing his eyes.
"Shona, you should've called me" He came and sat beside me, taking my hand in his.
'I didn't want you to get worried" I whispered, my throat was dry and I needed water. He handed me a bottle of water, I don't remember seeing him with one. He always amazed me with his tricks. I gulped down all the water, without a break.
"I will worry, and that's my right. Now tell me what's bothering you?" It was his right to worry? I heard that for the first time. But somehow I felt he was right.
"Nothing, same old" I whispered with a sigh. I paused for a while and he waited for me to continue. I know he wouldn't let me go without knowing what exactly I was talking about. "I give up Armaan, there is no more hope left in me" My voice was a bit shaky and I felt new sets of tears, ready to spill out of my eyes.
"Have faith in God, everything will be fine" He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry. He didn't stop me, coz he thought crying will make me feel better, like always. And that was true.
"I don't want to go back to that house again Armaan, please take me away from here" I sobbed in his arms and he stroked my hairs with utter love and affection. He was the only person who could understand me the most; more than my parents. He was my best friend and my boyfriend. And I loved him, more than I love myself.
"Why don't you give it a try again? Just one last time?" He whispered in my ear, his voice always managed to calm me down.
"No Armaan please, I am tired of trying…I won't be able to take it anymore" My head pained as I talked, probably due to the excessive crying and sleeplessness.
"Your family needs you Shona" He tried explaining me but still I can't go back there.
"No they don't, they don't even care about me. And they won't care if I even die, and that's what I will do if I go back to that place, I'll die" He placed his fingers on my lips. I know he hated when I talked about death but it was true.
"They all love you Shilpa, don't ever think that they don't love you. And if for some reason they don't, then it's their loss. And always remember one thing before doing any stupid things, that I love you and if anything happens to you, I won't be able to live either" I looked into his eyes only to find tears in them. Armaan never shows his emotions that easily, he is strong from outside but he's a very sensitive guy from inside. I've never really saw him cry, this was the first time. I hated myself for doing that to him. I've hurt him and I can see that in his eyes.
"Am sorry" I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight "I won't hurt you, I promise" he held me tight; I knew what he was afraid of. "You know I can't see you in pain, I didn't mean to hurt you" I whispered and came out of the hug.
"Armaan, try and understand. Every day I live in fear of losing my loved ones, I've been having horrible nightmares about this, I feel my heart twitch in pain when I think about what my mom must be going through. She needs me but whenever I try to talk to her, she pushes me away. How come she never thought about what I must be going through? The fact that my father is cheating on my mother actually broke me into pieces from inside, but only if they had noticed. Dad ignores me saying am not understanding enough, and mom ignores me saying that am just like dad, heartless. I wake up with the worst alarm ever; I wake up with their arguments. They never think about my feelings, I feel like a stranger living in that house. They don't share their pain with me, which makes me feel like I don't exist in their life. 5 years Armaan, I've been hoping that one day things would change but no, there is no sign of positive things" he wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead.
"They need time, leave them alone for some time and they will notice your absence. After all you are the one to cheer them up, you didn't care about how they act with you before, then why now? You can come live with me; Muski would love to share her room with you. Think about it and let me know what your decision is. You can't leave your parents for forever Shona, they need you" I liked his idea, how can he solve problems so quick? I wish I had that power. How thoughtful of him to offer me a place to live. His younger sister Muskaan was also my friend, so I didn't have to think twice before living at his place. And plus it was needed, as he said, my parents need some time alone.
He helped me in packing some of my clothes, and then we headed to his place. I had left a note in the living room, letting my parents know where I'll be living till they solve their issues and also wrote that they can come to Armaan's house when things are good between them. Muskaan was happy to see me there and so was aunty. Aunty has been very supportive after she got know what was happening. She treated me as her daughter.
"Muski you should let Shilpa sleep for a while before work, she didn't sleep all night" Armaan said leaning against Muskaan's door.
"Yea ok I will, I have to go to Rahul's house anyway" Muskaan grabbed her stuff and left the room. She was a person who always managed to make people smile. And she made me smile as well. Armaan and Muskaan were same, always trying to cheer up people. I loved that fact about them.
"If you need anything, you know where to find me" Armaan said walking in "I'll wake you up before work" he came and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tightly. I hugged him back and stayed in his arms for a while.
"Thank you so much Armaan" I managed to whisper. I still had sore throat and I could barely talk.
"No need to say thanks baby, I can do anything for you…hmm?" he kissed my forehead affectionately. I lay down on the bed and he covered me with the comforter and left the room. I felt much better after talking to him this morning, and I was hoping again for things to get better. But this was the last time am giving it a try, if things go wrong again…well I don't know what am going to do.
I had a peaceful sleep after a long time. I had spent numerous sleepless nights, and this sleep made me feel much better and fresh. Armaan woke me up for work. Aunty made me eat lunch before we left for work. She could be really stubborn sometimes about food, but I loved her. After lunch we headed to Sanjivani, Armaan and I had the same schedule for about a week.
At work he made sure that I was fine, and helped me get in to a better mood. Just like I was when I first joined Sanjivani. He kept on telling me that he want the old Shilpa back, the one who used to smile all the time, play pranks, and get excited to work. All our colleagues would try making me happy, and I would try my best to get my mind off of my personal life issues.
It has been a month since am living with Armaan's family. I loved living there; I would go to grocery shopping with aunty, and clothes shopping with Muskaan. Armaan and I would sit on the terrace for hours talking. But one thing that kept me worried was my parent's state. I wanted to know if they were doing fine. And I was also missing them. But I was not willing to go back in that house. I had been living in a fear of losing them, and when I was finally not thinking about those fears, I started missing them and all the fears seemed to make their way back into my head.
I was sitting in the living room, flipping through channels as I had a night shift. Armaan was in the shower and Muskaan was having dinner. Aunty had gone to meet some of her old friends; it was like a reunion party I suppose. I heard the door bell and went to open the door thinking it must be aunty. I was astonished to see the person standing at the door. It was my mom, her eyes were red and she looked pale.
"Mom" I held her hand, which was extremely warm. She was having fever I figured. I led her in and made her sit on the couch.
"Am sorry beta, for ignoring you for his mistakes" She broke down in front of me, but I didn't know how to react. Should I offer her support? She was never there for me, but I still hugged her and cried. "He left us" she whispered after a while. Left us? What does that mean? I parted from the hug and looked at her perplexedly.
"He finally got visa for US" Now I knew what she was talking about.
My cold-blooded father had an affair with his assistant who went to US 5 years ago. He couldn't go due to some visa issues. Mom had found out about it when she went to his office with his lunch, and caught him red-handed. Ever since then there has been numerous fights and arguments going on between them. I was soon ignored from both of them. Mom saying that I am just like dad and should leave her alone, and dad saying that am just like mom and he wouldn't like to see my face. However, mom tried to rectify things before it was too late but all in vain. Dad had left his job, and used to get drunk every night. He even used to beat mom in his drunken state sometimes. The house use to run coz of me, coz I had a job. Dad had taken out money from the savings account and used them for his documents to get a visa so he could go to US. There wasn't a day without their arguments; they argued over every little thing. Never did they once look at me; they never tried understanding my pain. I spent as much time as I could at the hospital, going home was the last thing I wanted to do. From past 5 years, I've been hoping against hope for things to get better, I prayed to god every day. But nothing changed. If not for Armaan, I wouldn't have been here right now. He has been a great support.
"Aunty" Armaan came running down the stairs and sat beside mom "Is everything ok?" he asked with sheer concern. He cared more about my mom then I did, it wasn't my fault, the circumstances didn't let me think properly. Our lives were perfect 5 years ago, and I always tried getting those days back, but I failed…poorly. Though, my father didn't seem to be interested in our lives, we still had some good times.
"Armaan, yesterday after you left…he forced me to sign the divorce papers. He left us" My mom cried in his arms. Armaan never told me about his visit to mom. Nevertheless, that fact made me love him even more.
"We'll live our own life mom, we don't need him. He has only given us pain and nothing else" I reassured her, making sure not to cry over that ruthless man.
"I am sorry for my harsh behavior beta, please forgive me" She apologized, I hugged her in return.
"It's ok mom I can understand what you must have been gone through" I mumbled.
Muskaan got us water and Armaan got a tablet for mom as she was having fever. Aunty had arrived just then, and insisted mom to stay there for the night. I had a night duty but I didn't want to go. Aunty assured me that she will take care of mom, and Armaan was there as well.
"Shona" I stopped hearing Armaan's voice from behind. I closed my car door and turned to face him "Are you ok?" he asked, cupping my cheeks in his palms.
"Am fine, thanks Armaan for being with me and helping me out" I felt tears welling up in my eyes thinking about what would have happened if Armaan wasn't there with me.
"No more crying ok, it pains me here when you cry" He took my hand and placed it on his heart.
"I've given you a lot of pain" I stepped forward and locked my arms around his neck and rested my forehead with his. His hands went around my waist, pulling me closer.
Without saying anything, he captured my lips with his and gave me a passionate kiss, making me forget everything.
Parting form the kiss breathlessly, he knelt down on his knees and took out something from his pocket. Yes, it was a ring. He held my hand in his and ever so sweetly asked me "Will you marry me?" I couldn't help but bent down and kiss his cheek. No words escaped my mouth; I was overwhelmed with the happiness. I was feeling truly happy after so many years. Armaan had always made me happy, but today my happiness can't be described, it has gone beyond limits. That was the end of my endless pain.
I nodded in yes to his question; he slipped the stunning diamond ring in to my finger and got up. I immediately embraced him tight, not wanting to leave him. "I love you Armaan" I whispered in his ear. "I love you too" he whispered back and kissed my hair.
I headed to work after our moment that night. The very next month I officially got engaged to Armaan. From that's where my life became even better. Armaan and I used to spend every free moment that we got together. I was beyond happy to have him in my life.
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Uh, comments? 😆
I know it was boring n sad n whatever but I still want my comments 🥱
Indian Mythology
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