It should have been you(ArSH/AR/DMG3 FF) Updtpg148 - Page 76

Awww thank you! hahaha I had to finish yaar, cliff hangers are always necessary!

Kya kahoon mein...needless to say u still maintain ur trademark breathtaking descriptions...the best part about ur writing u let urself lose..u let go everything...every other writer here..when they write, most of them do not let themselves lose in the sea of descriptions like u...when i read their work, i can feel that a clock is ticking on their mind...but with u..My God...when i read it feels u have all the time in the world for ur writings...for KaSh...and thats what makes it so pleasant and soothing to visualize the scenes...i can properly and clearly see them playing in front of me...i scene is completed properly before jumpng to the next...

Need less to say again...u got me awestruck at how beautifully u have portrayed armaan and shilpa..their thoughts and relation..i loved the ENTIRE bike scene...i still remember our eaton discussion on bike scene...

I loved how ArSh handles the entire awkward situation of shilpa's confession...it was so pure..so matured..so compassionate...they both understand each other so much...i felt miserable when armaan was feeling guilty, but yet again shilpa came to the rescue...i love her...

Eeekkksss i loved the gussa wala thing...see this is what i love about u...even though we both discuss ideas, in the end u put uo the scene so simply yet so beautifully that i am mesmerized..it feels as if i never knew about this scene...

Hmm so party eh? :P ...well i loved the last paragraph...armaan;s thoughts so were somewhat clear amidst the cloud of confusion...

SCene of the day "BIKE SCENE>>> :D :D :D

Cant for the next and the next next part...eeekkksss...

yaayy comment!

Sabz, you're so amazing! All the help aside, its just how much you love this FF it just moves me <3 <3 I have nothing more to say except...if this FF is DMG then you are its KaSh :)

Thank you so much! I just added you :)

Uncomfortable, never ending, utterly confusing were all small words to describe last night. He kept on twisting and turning almost all night long, there was no respite to the million of things that he had been thinking of. The more he asked himself the same questions that he had asked in front the doors of Sanjeevani last night had been spinning around in his head from that moment on. He had essentially asked Shilpa for time, but what boggled his mind was, time for what? He had convinced himself that he wasn't ready, but wasn't ready for what? As he sat there by himself in the fire escape he tried to understand what it was that holding him from being able to even make himself understand what he was feeling? Because clearly something wasn't adding up. Somewhere in his gut, or perhaps in his heart, he knew the conclusion that his mind was trying to reach but for some reason that was beyond him that conclusion was clouded by all these other questions of why? how? when?

He sat there with his head in his hands and his heart pretty much melting, wasn't this all quick? Was it possible for someone to go from nothing to this storm? All it had taken was Shilpa to say something, or at least stop herself from saying something and all these doors that had been firmly closed to barge open. The pace at which feelings were coming at him frightened him. So much so that he had even refused to answer his own questions. He obviously needed some help in deciphering what he was feeling and more importantly how to deal with it. But then how on earth was he going to ask her to him. Would he go up to her and say "Shilpa, I feel all this but I don't know why, help me?" Is that really what this had come down to. And if it was, then was it fair to put her in the position? It was basically like saying, "Shilpa I know you love me and maybe I also...". At that thought, he instantly sprung up. WHAT? Why would he say that to her? What had his mind just conjured up. No. Not now.

Lucky for him his pager rang right in time and he literally ran to his patient. For Shilpa, the emotions were far lighter and much more enjoyable. She had left with a smile on her face and now too it was the same. "dhanno...itni chotti si naak pe itna saara gussa kaise accomodate karti ho?" His words were circling her mind and every time she replayed that line in her imagination, she smiled and sometimes when it was really bad she blushed to herself. So what if she had promised herself that she wouldn't overanalyze his words, it didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy them. Besides, she wasn't even really over thinking anything, what he said was in its nature so cute that she couldn't help it. In fact she should be thankful to him for giving these small joys in life, because they were rare and short. She smiled again at the fact that maybe, just maybe, life had decided to give her some respite. Things were calm, simple, and almost...almost beautiful. These strange giddy urges, and the random blushing was a welcome change from the constant heart numbing realities that she had so often thought about. She much preferred being Dhanno, than being Shilpa Malhotra. Dhanno, how Armaan, she said to herself. As she chuckled to herself she made her way towards the nurse station to get her duties assigned. Given that Armaan was no where to be seen at the nurse station nothing very exciting happened. She wondered where he was, she hadn't seen him in the locker room and now he wasn't here. Her first instinct was always, is he alright? But she soon learned that he had come in extra early this morning and was already working. Even then she wasn't too worried, she always saw him while she was working. It was amazing how her duties somehow always ended up matching up with his. Dr. Kirti again reminded everyone of the party tonight and with that let them go off and carry on with their work.

Armaan, was filling out the medicine chart of his patient when Shilpa walked into the room. He looked up and his eyes met hers, they smiled, and she was shifted gaze to her patient. For him, his heart was screaming to just go up to her and tell her that he was confused and could really some help. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, the kinds of looks that he was getting from his patient forced him to shift his focus over to them and away from Shilpa. He again began to fill out the medicine chart but within a few seconds his eyes looked up at her once more. Maybe he should talk to her? He wasn't used to hiding his feelings from her. She always managed to help him see the truths and realities that he had never been able to decipher."Pagal hai kya Armaan", he said to himself and tried his best again to continue his work. He should have known better, by the the time a few hours had passed he was certain that there was no way he could work with this much going through his mind. He was surprised that he had lasted as long as he did without having stormed into Shilpa's house.

For about the third time in the last 48 hours he had been asked by a ward boy, what he was doing standing in the middle of the hall. And when he looked at the ward boy, much like the other two, he too was left asking the same, what he was doing standing in the middle of the corridor? Confused and immovable again by the storm inside of him, Armaan slowly and with the most absurd look on his face, began to make his way to some other place in the hospital to go and stand aimlessly. While walking Armaan was pulled into the General Ward to help Dr. JP deal with a relative of a patient. Apparently, a woman was now in the condition that she may have to be admitted because she had not eaten or moved from her spot in the 36 hours. She had been sitting firmly by her husband's side, just in case he may wake up and need something. The more Armaan tried to talk to her the more determined she became. When Armaan told her that if she did not eat for another few hours than she too would be admitted to the hospital. What the woman said in reply was terrifying in its intensity yet phenomenal in its devotion. She looked firmly into Armaan's eyes and said, "kya mujhe inke paas waala bed mile ga?". Armaan looked at her and was forced to back down from his insistence, this woman wasn't going anywhere. When JP began to talk again, Armaan stopped him. He looked at the woman, looked at JP, looked at her husband and then back towards her, all he could was smile was smile in admiration.

"JP...inke jaisi ek ko main bhi jaanta hoon...yeh nahin hatt ne waali."

He looked to the woman again and was so moved the he almost, almost wished he could bow his head and let her know that determination like that was not only admirable but enviable. He began to walk away towards the door but was compelled to look and appreciate yet again how far some people would go to be there for someone they cared for...someone they loved. Just then, his own words came back to him and he realized that Shilpa...Shilpa...

He couldn't finish that thought. He looked up, with his eyes opened up as far and as wide as they possibly could and saw what he hadn't in so long. Whether it was her pranks that had brightened in his life as soon as she came in, whether it was her raw dances that literally connected her to something bigger and connected him to something harsher than he had known, whether it was the vulnerability that he had seen in the elevator, a vulnerability that was so relatable yet so well hidden, whether it was the way she looked at him when she walked these halls, or stood at the nurse station, or treated a patient...in every single direction of the hospital that he looked, he could see the same determination he had just seen in that woman, in Shilpa. Every single place, table, room, staircase, witnessed her rock solid support. As Armaan stood there, immovable, in the hallway he realized that right here within the parameters of his own vision there were a million examples of Shilpa being the foundation of his happiness.

Slowly, but certainly not softly, his heart beat grew stronger and his body temperature sky rocketed. He needed to get some fresh air before disaster struck. He began to make his way to the doors but came to an abrupt stop in front of the fire escape. "I'm stronger", her words were screaming in his mind. She was stronger, stronger than anyone he had ever know and now because of her he too was stronger. Wasn't that enough? Enough to shout to the roof tops what Armaan had barely heard on the inside. There at the doors of the Fire Escape, he closed his eyes and felt a painstaking guilt take him over. It was because of her strength and only because of her strength that he was able to do anything in his life. Her strength was the reason for his smile, the reason for his success, the reason for his freedom and perhaps most important of all, her strength was the reason his heart had learned how to beat again, it learned how to laugh again, it learned the sheer liberation of letting yourself cry.

In a desperate attempt to avoid letting himself go at this very moment, Armaan turned away from the fire escape and literally ran up to the terrace. The fresh air did wonders for his mind. He let the wind soothe his nerves a little, but only a little because given what he was feeling in the inside there was just no way they would remain that way for much longer. He walked over to the ledge and placed two hands on it and leaned towards the ledge. At this moment, all he could hear was not the sirens of the ambulance, or the chatter of staff in the parking, or the honks of the cars, it was his name "Armaan" the way she said it. The softness in the way she called him, or the way she screamed it when she was angry, or the naughty way she called when she knew that he was up to something or when she herself was up to something. As the wind ran through his hair, Shilpa ran through his mind. The first day he met her at the party, what a crazy night! "Dhanno", he said to himself. The name was so her, unique yet reliable! Her fake partial amnesia brought an instant smile to his face. "Shilpa Malhotra...mere liye khatra!" He chuckled and shook his head, she really was crazy.

He recalled what had happened when she had taken him to his house after his fight. The way she had taken care of him, the way she had refused to leave his side no matter how rude he was. "Tumhe meri zaroorat hai", her words again rang his mind. How literal had that phrase become. Would anything have been possible had she not been there? Would he ever stopped pining, stopped hurting, stopped chasing? Would he have ever had the courage to go let Riddhima go? Would that walk away from Riddhima have been possible had she not bee holding his hand? Would he ever stopped fighting had she not dragged him away? Would he ever learned to live again had she not shown him how? Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, would he be smiling had she not been the reason?

Again he closed his eyes. "Sacha pyaar aur sachi dosti". Why Shilpa? Why did you have to be so strong that I couldn't stand next you? Why Shilpa? Why did you have to be so determined that my weakness had to bow down? Why Shilpa? Why did you have to be so giving that my heart became use to taking? Why Shilpa? Why did you have to love me so much that my friendship paled in comparison? Why Shilpa? Why did you have to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me? Why Shilpa, why?

If his heart was so weak that he was scared to let someone in than why on earth had he been reciting Shilpa Malhotra so religiously for so long? If he needed more time, than why the hell was Shilpa Malhotra the only outgoing number on his cell phone? If he wasn't ready then why in the world was the mere sight of her enough to make him forget all else? He realized, just then, it isn't about time, it isn't healing, it isn't about fear, all it takes is one amazing girl to walk into your life and change your world. One smile of hers can grip all your sorrows and toss them out.

He felt it the first time he locked eyes with her at the dance. He felt it when they played basketball. He felt it when he gave her his handkerchief for the first time. He felt it when he held her face in his hands in the elevator. He felt it when he pulled her out of that fire. He felt even more as he looked into eyes in that taxi and foolishly let her drive away. He felt it when he rushed after and brought her back. He felt it when she sat on the back of his bike. He felt it when he hugged her. He felt it when he smelt her perfume. For goodness sakes he felt it every time he looked at her, every time he spoke to her, every time he thought of her, every time he looked back only to see her standing tall and firm.

As if he had been hit by a lightning bolt. He instantly opened his eyes and it was all clear. So bloody clear. He didn't need her. He...He...

Armaan looked up at the sky, let out a deep breath, smiled the biggest smile he had ever smiled and spoke straight to the sky...

"I love her...I really really love her"

a happy dance!!!

osam part, brilliant just superb 👏👏

i loved the way u described each emotion of armaan's

n slowly made him realise his true feelings towards shilpa

his inner turmoil...his confusion...his realisation everything was fantastically explained

i lovd reading the part

now m waiting for confession

which i m hopin to b in the party in a grand way

shilpa atleast deserves tht much rite?

continue super soon

i wanna know shilpa's reaction when armaan confesses

n ofcourse now tht armaan knows his feelings how is he gonna react to shilpa?

omg! cant wait!!

OMG thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read! hahahah don't you worry, I won't disappoint you! promise!!! 😉