||Chapter 6||
"Encounter"
Mother,
I'm torn. The feeling to being stuck, it makes me feel sick. I'm tired. No more do I deserve understand, after all that I've done, but I want to fly. Somehow, I have no more control of what I want, what I feel. I want to soar up and touch the sky. I want to feel like a free bird, just for once. I'm being held captive, and for once I want to escape the terrestrial troubles and break free. Is that even possible, mother? I don't know. I know you will have the answers. I don't know if my starlight is listening to me. I do not even know if it exists. I'm torn. I want to feel something-something different, something good. I'm void ever since everyone I love departed. How am I supposed to love ever again? I'm the culprit, a feeling that shatters me into bits. I tried to leave but he wont let me be free, he who I know loves me. I'm scared.
Mother, I need my starlight.
Your daughter.
Unable to take anymore, he shut the her diary and shocked. Now, he knew the reason of her alienation. It was as if she had locked herself up in a cage. The bright, cheerful girl he knew had now, what, turned into a saddist?
Not a single night had passed, where she did not scream in her sleep. Last night, when he successfully stole her diary, she was whimpering. He could do nothing. Finding the right moment, he picked up the diary and left the room. She could wake up any moment.
Riddhima opened her eyes and stared at the the ceiling. She felt weird, good weird. For change, she did not have a horrible start of day. She smiled. Something had happened whilst she was asleep, something she had no clue of. But she would maintain her silence. There was no way in hell she would pick up another fight with him. Even if he had visited the room, he must have done it to check up on her. He is her newly appointed, non-paid bodyguard after all.
Laying aside all her thoughts, she got up, tying her hair into a tiny bun and walked into the bathroom. How much ever she tried, she could not avoid the thoughts that invaded her mind. It had been months since Varuns death, and one fine day she was beginning to experience change.
What the hell did he do to me? Jerk. She thought, but immediately rephrased her words. Cute jerk. She smiled recollecting his epic, epic confused look. The blue eyeballs was tearing its way into her soul, she felt. Decorating his expression was a weird pout, exposing a tiny portion of his dimples. He looked so cute and so hot at the same time.
A shiver ran down her body. What the hell? She slapped herself, trying to gather herself.
Wake up Riddhima Gupta, its day time. She had a secret she told no one. It had buried deep somewhere until now. Now she could see it floating on the surface, causing her to worry. This was getting complicated. Or it was always complicated, its just that she did not see it? Was she always this involved with him? Yes. Even moments before she was about to die, all she could think of was how she had not spoken to her best friend at all. Why was the fog clearing now?
Something was really going on here, something really big. Death too no more scared her. She had been through a lot, but surprisingly none of those thoughts ran through her mind today. It was all about him. Not Varun, but Armaan.
Involved in deep thinking, Riddhima took no notice that she had left her clothes outside. Good lord, whats happening? She thought. Letting out a sigh, she covered her body with the only thing she could manage- a mini gown, with the thinest straps and milk white in shade. The dress only made it till her knee. The last thing she wanted right now is embarrassment.
I hate this. She thought. The bedroom was locked, hence privacy. Riddhima still peeped slightly. The coast was obviously clear, so she simply walked out. The golden sun rays flashed on her, suddenly making this morning so bright. She touched her hands frantically, touched it again, and again. Bracelet. Her favorite bracelet. No, no! It was not lost. Nervously, she looked around the bathroom. It was not there. She suddenly recollected opening her bracelet last night. She had kept it on the bedside. It wasn't there now. Tears had already began to rush up.
She turned around to get yet another shock. A worse one. Now she knew that her door was not locked, since Armaan was standing at the door, still as a statue.
Armaan did not know how to react. Nervousness, the rush of blood around her cheeks with her alert eyes on him. He had handled a lot worse, since the girl with him was simply crazy. But her reaction was something new, a lot better. He made no attempt to smile, he'd be murdered.
He simply took a step towards her. Her body stiffened. His eyes moved no lower, just locked in hers. Finally, the two eyes mingled. She looked lost. He could tell she was thinking of him all along. She was checking him out. Years of togetherness, and suddenly both felt a tension mingling in between them. It was only increasing, as he reduced the distance. None spoke.
Riddhima broke the silence with her gasp, when she felt his body stuck to hers. He looked into her eyes and removed the strand of hair near her ears. She closed her eyes at his touch. Electric current ran all over her body, while pulse was nil. Was it just her or he was really kissing her ear lobe? She could no more move her body.
"Your bracelet." He whispered in her ears. Bracelet, yes! Her mothers bracelet. She opened his eyes and he was gone. She looked all around and then checked the bathroom. He had managed to lock the bedroom behind him.
She lifted her palm and stared at it. Her bracelet hung around it, just like always. A feeling never felt aroused inside her.
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She would call it a hurricane that she found herself in. It was washing away her life. It was causing her pain and Armaan, since always, remains shelter. But what happened today, was taking away the one thing she proudly possessed, Armaan, too. The morning scene between them had put her in a mess.
It is wrong! She is wrong! She failed in masking her feelings. Failed terribly. Her old secret has started exposing itself and Riddhima. The one thing she values the most right now is slipping away from her hand. How was she supposed the grab the slipping sand? She kept reminding herself - It is Varun, it has always been Varun. Armaan can never be there. The immense guilt of losing control over herself was eating her. How could she? Varun's thought totally escaped her mind. She didn't know how would she face him when she meets him up there. What would she tell him? Will he let it go? It wasn't going to be that easy. Maybe she should maintain her distance from Armaan, or things could get worse.
She had no courage to face Armaan. She did lose herself for a moment, she admits. It wasn't his fault. It was her fault. Armaan had just come to give her the bracelet. Once again, she found herself lost. She needed the right direction. Why wasn't her starlight helping her right now? Was everyone going to leave her, like her mother and Varun? She sighed.
"How is she now?" She stopped moving, on hearing a female voice coming from the other room.
"Unstable." That is how he puts her condition? Unstable? Her vulnerability was so clear to everyone, in spite of her best efforts to hide it. It had been three weeks since her last attempt. She tried her best to show Armaan that she was getting back to normal, with him near her, but in vain. He could, like always, see right through her. Her mask was effective for everyone but him, and undoubtedly she was hating it.
"Oh." And then began the awkward silence. It was not their conversation, but the silence which told her who the female must be. She is Armaan's ex and good friend. The only ex Armaan wasn't avoiding, Nikita Malhotra. For a moment, she did not know how to react.
Riddhima had last seen Nikita months ago, two days before her marriage. She tried every possible way to contact her, on noticing her absence, but in vain. She remembers how she was in tears, when Nikita had disconnected her call. Not anyone, not even Varun, but only Armaan was able to console her then. She remembers how she felt nice when he gently stroked her cheeks. It was his new gesture of affection, or a gesture of the changing time? Armaan left immediately after that. Something "unavoidable" had come up at work, Armaan had tried explaining her. He was lying. He picked up his bag pack and walked right out of the door, leaving a tearful Riddhima in Varun's arms, never looking back.
Nikita, Nikita! Riddhima told herself. She had suddenly developed a talent of linking anything and everything with Armaan. It wasn't doing any good. It felt wrong, although she felt right. Perhaps, this was the beginning of a new chapter of her life- complicating the complications.
Riddhima took no notice of Nikita, until she found herself hugging Nikita. She jerked out of her not-so-overwhelming-thoughts when Nikita spread her arms around her and pulled her into a warm jerk. She smiled. Nikita has always been her close confidante, her friend. Even if everything is against her, it is Nikita who always sides Riddhima. Even after her 'accident', when Armaan was upset with her, it was Nikita who had managed to make him talk to Riddhima.
"Hey!" Nikita broke the hug and scanned Riddhima from head to toe. Her expression immediately changed from a happy one to a disgusted one. Riddhima did not understand why.
"Oh, my god. You look awful." She told her, making a terrible face. It was as if someone had slapped Riddhima tight right across her face. She, in response, did nothing but stare at her.
"I think she looks just fine." His tone startled her. What startled her more was Armaan's hands around her waist. Her heart fluttered on feeling a warm kiss on her forehead. This was her protective Armaan. She wanted to smile.
"Yeah. I will wait downstairs." Nikita's voice had dropped to disappointment. While Riddhima tried to grasp the situation, she observed a heart wrenching exchange of glances. She did not know the reason of his hatred.
"Fine. Riddhima and I will be down soon." He spoke slowly and carefully, she observed. Though she felt safe and protected, she also felt alienated. Why was he being so rude to her?
Nikita spared Riddhima a last glance and left. Riddhima turned to face him curiously. He made no attempt to explain her. He was in no mood to do so. He wasn't please for an unknown reason.
"We're going out today." Armaan avoided her gaze and told her in a flat tone.
"Um, I'm in no mood, Armaan. I'm really sorry. You go ahead. I will be fine."
"Fifteen minutes. If you don't come down in next fifteen minutes, I'll make you come down with me and you know how. Either way, you're coming with me. Do you understand? I will wait outside." He was soft and angry, really angry. In spite of all the furiousness, he planted a small kiss on her forehead and left. He was struggling within, like her. He did not turn around and smile at her, like he always does when he feels elated.
There was no way Riddhima was going against his orders right now. She knew well that Armaan would simply pick her up in his strong, well built arms and carry her till the lobby. It has happened before. She tried hitting him, scratching his face, kicking him, pushing him away, but he was still and immovable as a rock. It was embarrassing, with all their friends staring at them. That, according her girlfriends, was some amazing chemistry, which she would usually laugh off. But now the time was different, Riddhima wanted to avoid any incident like that, right now. It was wrong. It was cheating and she was loyal to her deceased fiance.
Silently she walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. All that was left behind between her and him was an undeniable truth, a big secret- Riddhima was in love with Armaan. She tried confronting him, but was shattered when she saw Armaan's lips on Nikita's. She broke down in tears, not able to control of herself. Armaan had taken no notice of her, since he was deeply involved in making out with his new girlfriend. Thats when her classmate and friend Varun walked into. He pulled her into a friendly hug and consoled her. She told him everything. He smiled and told her that it was destiny. Then she knew- it was something, something new. They had spent the entire night talking. Riddhima was amazed on how she could talk to him about anything and everything. She never shared that kind of rapport with anyone except Armaan. She spoke, he listened. She felt good. Their relation flourished and changed. They grew from friends to lovers, to fiance. Riddhima considered herself lucky to have him. She was thankful that she had him and not Armaan. Varun was nothing like Armaan. He was not a rule breaker, a Casanova, but a gentleman. Riddhima realized that he was the kind of man she always wanted. But Armaan remained to be her best friend till date..
Two best friends who never had, or could have, anything in between them...
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[complete]
Phew! Complete! 😃
I know this update might shock you a little. Am I right? 😛 I mean Riddhima is in love with Varun, then why is this happening? As much as you will be happy, this might not just be digestible for some of you... but before you form impression, read the complete update. :) Riddhima will be shown a conflict and turmoil. She has to figure the right and wrong out. While her life is a complete mess (...and is about to end soon...), she has begun to experience some changes around her.. She can't help it, can she? It is complicated.. She is a human being after all... In this update.. I just wanted to portray the changing equations and situations, old buried secrets which will be exposed... and more... 😛 I hope I'm able to do that!
Please let me know how this part was... I want to improve, in case this wasn't that great! I want you all to help me in this improvement.. I'll be grateful, trust me.
Take care!!
Edited:
Hello people! :) I've completed the chapter.. hope you like it... :) I have given it my best shot.. believe me!..
In the next update, Armaan will try to put the together Riddhima's shattered world. 😉How? You will need to wait and watch.. there's a lot more coming up! Till then take care...🤗
Deby
Edited by jeflkjfkljfkj - 14 years ago
Anupamaa
