SS- KOSH/Aagshosh~ THREAD 1~ - Page 13

Originally posted by: fire_water

Hello Keyama,

I have been a silent reader on IF for quite some time, but have never felt compelled to comment before; however, at this juncture, I feel that I should say at least something to ease my conscience, if nothing other than for the purpose of offering another point of view.

To begin with, you are indeed a prolific writer and even despite the numerous spelling and grammar errors, you persist in improving your writing, which is commendable. Your willingness to think 'outside the box' so to speak is also worth mentioning.

I have come across the recent uproar on the FF forum due to adult content; my concerns, however, are of a different nature. I am not someone who takes on the mantle of morality police by any means and nor do I have a wish to do so. However, I do have several questions about the nature of your FFs. And I am posting this here on your newest thread because you have a wide reader-base and have repeatedly requested honest feedback from readers. My hope is that many of the impressionable youngsters who are reading your writing will likely come across this comment as well and gain food for further thought.

Onto my concerns,

Firstly, the amount of rape, torture, abuse, verbal assault, and the like that are portrayed in many of your FFs are troubling, particularly as it is romanticized. The male lead (I really would not call such a character a hero by any means, or even a Byronic hero as even they have certain standards) subjects the female lead to such ritualized abuse (he has his own reasons, I am sure) that I fail to see how his character could ever be redeemed from it enough that his victim falls in love with him. This is somewhat reminiscent of the Stockholm Syndrome wherein hostages express positive feelings towards their captors; except even in the most prominent of such cases, the captor has not been as abusive as some of the male leads in your FFs.

Secondly, it is very, very unusual for a woman who has been violently raped or consistently and continuously used as a sexual object without consideration of her own feelings on the matter to develop an attraction towards the perpetrator. Usually, they end up suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and are scarred deeply, requiring much mental and emotional nurturing and time away from the abuser to return to something resembling normalcy. I am not saying that this occurs in all instances, but that this is usually what happens (it only stands to reason that it would given the circumstances, and one does not have to reach for advanced psychological theories to explain this particular phenomenon).

Thirdly, and this is my most grave concern and I hope that you heed my thoughts on this subject with the gravity that it deserves - your FFs are sending the message that in some ways it is okay for a girl to put up with such treatment and that if she is patient and tolerant and/or just "good and nice" enough, the man will somehow changes his ways and experience "love", which will then heal all. This is not Love. Love is respect, nurturance, and kindness. Even if the man redeems himself from his earlier ways, sex is not the way to get a woman to realize that he has changed, especially if the woman has been the victim of sexual abuse by him in the past. I am troubled that when girls read such works of fiction - particularly young girls - they are not yet of sufficient psychological and emotional maturity to determine the exact fictional nature of the story and are likely to romanticize such themes as well when what they should be provided guidance in is exactly the opposite - to be treated with respect and to give credence to a relationship that is based on mutual admiration rather than one in which one party is consistently being taken advantage of, or in this case, abused and broken down systematically.

I apologize if I have overstepped my boundaries in raising this concern in such an open forum and I hope that you and your readers are able to take the contents of this letter in the intent that is meant.

Warm regards,

Fire-Water

Originally posted by: jyoti_l

@ fire -- i read the letter...of fire_water.......i dont know what to say....

all i can say is that....

there were 3 stories which were not romantic n different from the rest....

in dark lover -- she gave her life.....that showed that she was not mentally right....n in that the hero was good....not bad,.....he helped her to get over it...but she wasnt able to.....n in the end died.....

in remorses -- yes that was very much abuse...but that was the central theme of the story.....that remorses dont let u live...n she loved him unconditionally since the beginning.....thus she let him do that to her.....n she left him....she didnt come back...n she still doesnt love him......she is living with him coz she fears he might harm himself.....it is him who always goes in search of her....

animosity -- though he married her by force....but he didnt do anything wrong with her...he left her when she said so....n the reason for him abusing his own wife is still unclear......as to what happened...here also b4 the rape itself....geet had fallen for maan....she loved him....or rather started loving him......something happened....still not clear....as the story is still going on....

moreover these r just stories.....fictions ...no real.....when she tried to write real stuff....the thread was closed....so u see...mods do read everything......

as for the young generation....i dont know but i think the young r more aware of this stuff now...if not here....they have come in contact with these things in the TV, serials, newspapers......they also know that it is a fiction....n whenever any1 has had a problem, they have voiced their concern as fire_water did......

i wud like to also point out that in all her ff's b4 any abuse .....they had fallen in love...or at least one of the characters have....then only these things happened.....

i'm sorry if i hurt any1....these were just my personal views.....

n i agree with muskan that u cud have told this to her by PM...n not by post.....