You Need Me - Mayank Nupur -Note page 22

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Gul

@DhanakZ

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#121

Superb update dear

Wao mayank Jealous I LoVe It

Plz Mayur Ko jaldi se Milo do

Thanks for pm

cont soon

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ginny munjal

@ginny09

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#122

superb part sammm :D

but iss dhruv ka kuch karo ;)

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afsha

@-afsha-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#123

It was fab

Love Mayur moments

Sam knws their feelings for each other

Sam Mayu ko phasate phasate khud phas gaya hehehehehe

Nups is confused a lot

Lets c wat happens aage

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ALIMA AFRIN KHEYA

@kheya-mayur

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#124

awww

just read all d four update...
donno how i miossed previous updates...

all r awsom dear...

update soon n pm me

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aishwarya

@aish_punk

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#125

hey sam..nice updates..sorry, for the late comment.

nupur realized that mayank had left early, without waking her up. he had also left her a sweet text..

she went to the hospital, and mayank was already there. mayank met dhruv, n he was shocked she didn't tell him. aww, i hope they don't get engaged.

nupur tried to explain why she didn't tell him, but he didn't believe her much. he liked her, that was obvious, n she didn't even know that!

mayank-sam were talking n she just walked in..n mayank said they were talking about pubs..lol, n he got into trouble..even sam was about to get into trouble with gunjan, but he escaped somehow..

nupur was silent in the car, and he wondered why. she finally asked him, why he had lied. she knew they were talking about her,n she didn't like it. but its not something mayank wanted to talk about it either. mayank knew she was upset because of some other reason..n she admitted it too..nice..

so they had ice-cream, cute! :)..but party, huh?...it does seem like fun, actually.

thnx 4 d pm

update soon

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sariska sujaini

@sariska_mnarti

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#126

Aww tht was such a cute upd8

loved it

cont soon

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Ayesha

@..-Ayesshhaa-..

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#127

nice FF
add me to your pm list..

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Nikki

@dmgmjht4ever

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#128

Finally got around to read this. :)

Just a tip of advise. I remember telling this to another person as well. When two people are having a conversation, each dialog must be in its own paragraph. For example:

"Hey Mayank! What's up?" Nupur asked. "Oh nothing much Nupur, just coming back home." Mayank said. "Really? Where are you coming from?" she asked. "From the hospital," he replied.

It should be like this:

"Hey Mayank! What's up?" Nupur asked.

"Oh nothing much Nupur, just coming back home." Mayank said.

"Really? Where are you coming from?" she asked.

"From the hospital," he replied.

I know it sounds a little odd, but that's the grammatical way to do that. So just wanted to give you that piece of advise. I'm glad you take criticism constructively, and I noticed that in your writing.

I love the characterization of Mayank and Nupur in here. I often get reminded of the Nupur from the show. It creates a great connection to the Nupur in this fan fiction. So I absolutely love it currently. Keep on working hard and this will become an even better ff than it already is.