*Love Psychology* maaneet ff- Updated pg. 30 8/4 - Page 15

Ohhh dont even get me started on the aunties...some of these uncles and aunties i have arent even related to me lol

Yeaah when u first turn 18 its a big thing but then not so much...it gets boring after a bit

My exams start i june and then university in october Inshallah

Yeaah i have to shop for university as well...hopefully i can get a job in the holidays and save up.

Well all my firends birthdays have gone...most of my friends birthdays are between setermber and march so im done for this year lol

My names Qiratulain but everyone at school calls me Q or my family call me Nain.

Whatever u wanna call me is fine :-)

Lol same here

Im planning to do Pharmacy...inshallah ill get the grades i need

england hardly ever has a summer lol...you can never trust british whether

I just really on my parens most of the time but this year cos i have suh a big holiday in between school and uni im being forced to look for a job

Lol kk btw whats your name?

And shall we carry this convo on in private messages? :P

Part 5

In psychology there exists a defense mechanism called repression which helps the ego to cope with reality and maintain self-mage. Repression involves placing uncomfortable thoughts in relatively inaccessible areas of the subconscious mind. Thus when things occur that we are unable to cope with now, we push them away, either planning to deal with them at another time or hoping that they will fade away on their own accord.

This was one such memory, very well obliterated from my conscious awareness from the past eight years'.until now.

I looked at maan and finally understood the reason behind the expression he gave me in the kitchen.

I finally understood what he was doing in my house or in my school.

School, where my father was the principal and the house where his father's best friend lived'

It was eight years ago that she had first met him. Eight years ago when i had first made a fool out of myself'in front of him and everyone else.

Viraan uncle had invited us for dinner as maan had finished his schooling with flying colours and was to leave for Stanford University for higher studies. I was ten then'not exactly an ideal age for developing crush or infatuation but well by babaji's will I had. The first time I had entered their house I was blown away by its sheer size and splendor. It was nothing less than a mansion, and for the first time I was glad that my father kept such friends. Afterall bigger the house, higher was the chances of having good food. However nothing has prepared me for the sight that had descended from the spiral staircase of khurana house. Clad in a low waist jeans and black shirt with top three buttons open was the maan singh khurana. But then I wasn't attracted to his drool worthy body, I was enraptured by his confident and commanding aura which practically poured out of him, and was transferred back to the dreamland created by my novels where the male protagonist was the tough arrogant guy with a heart of gold. Though he hadn't seemed arrogant but he had carried a semblance which spoke of my knight in shining armor. Yea even though it was a bit high on drama and fantasy quotient, and unfortunate that I was no damsel in distress, I believed it. Hell, I am sure even sameera di was also having similar thoughts (if I go by the way her mouth had fallen open and her eyes had seemed as if they were on a blinking marathon upon seeing him.)

So after assuming that he was my knight in shining armor, my brad Pitt, tom cruise, Robert pattinson and hrithik roshan, all rolled into one, I decided to achieve his interest. Ofcourse I was no pervert to think of seducing him, but I had wanted him to think of me as smart, beautiful, mature and elegant (the qualities that all female protagonist possessed in the novels I had read). Even though it was a tad bit difficult to look smart and beautiful with pimples all over my face, I had conjectured to appear at least mature and elegant (ignoring the fact that I was dressed in frayed Capri pants and orange colored Pokmon t-shirt).

All through the dinner I had sat straight, my spine completely erect, my legs were cross like that of an elegant lady, a smile, which I hoped looked alluring and mystifying, was plastered on my face. My voice box was given a much deserved rest as i had tried speaking in a calm lady-like manner. Though he hadn't much attention to my pain-staking effort as he was busy chatting with my sister I hadn't lost hope. Afterall he was bound to go for the wrong girl initially, so I hadn't given up on my endeavor. However all my so-called efforts had came to a sharpening or rather humiliating end by the incident that had followed next.

Sameera di was saying something but I wasn't paying attention, as I had found too 'childish'. I had asked di to pass the jug of water but she was too busy chattering away with maan. At first I was about to poke her or shout at her but then I refrained from doing such thing as it would have looked too un-lady like to do so. I could have asked maan as well, as he was sitting next to di but I hadn't wanted him to think that I was a kid; after all smart mature and elegant ladies didn't behave like kiddos who couldn't even lift a jug of water. So I had gotten up slightly from my chair and leaned to grab the jug. It was a little (yes I am being modest here) heavy because of which I had flopped back on my chair with a lot of force. This however, turned out to be far too acrobatic a maneuver as the stupid chair had lost its stupid balance and I FELL DOWN right in the middle of dinner with water all over me. And add to the finishing touch was bowl of dal that had come right down on my face after the jug had trudged it from its place while crashing down with me.

And instead of being understanding and sympathetic about the whole accident and helping me up, EVERYONE...EVERYONE had laughed right on my face as if it were a circus act. So I had cried, real hard. That had seemed to put a full stop on their amusement as they all had come rushing me but I hadn't stopped, because, one I had felt like crying and second, I had wanted them to feel guilty for their insensitive nature. After getting up I had realized that it was maan who had helped me up, thus impromptu-ly and comically proving out be my knight in shining armor while I was the damsel in distress or better, damsel in daal in a very flipped out bizarre way. But what had surprised me was that I wasn't happy about it. Infact the whole 'rescuing' or lifting was embarrassing if not downright mortifying. I mean which girl would want the supposed hero of her life to witness her in such a helpless and awkward condition?? And to add to the thwarting situation was his expression. It hadn't looked mocking but something worse, that of pitying. Pity because he had known that I was trying to impress him, pity because I was a fool to think that I could impress him and pity because I had made an utter mockery of myself.

The whole experience was traumatic that my mind has buried it in my subconscious so that my ego wasn't harmed from anxiety of recalling it.

But today that damn memory had not only resurfaced but had also repeated itself in the kitchen, and maan had the same pitying look on his face.

'It seems that you had recalled it pretty well', viraan uncle's laughing voice boomed into my head.

Oh Babaji why am I such a tragedy!!!! More than me not remembering it was important that maan didn't remember it. Now, if there was even a tiny bit chance of maan not remembering the incident, then it was done away for good.

'Umm yea' I mumbled avoiding eye contact absolutely from anyone.

No point denying anyways.

'Ahh remember how you had cried, you were actually looking cute if I admit so myself', he continued.

Everyone laughed.

I wished to die.

Seriously, what was so cute about it?????

I failed to understand.

'Dinner is ready' mom announced coming in the living room. 'Geet come and help me to lay the table'

I now get it why they say that a mother always knows when her child is in trouble. Like a true mother she had come to rescue me just before her daughter would have crumbled into pieces after dying from embarrassment. And she was asking just a smile price for it, my good for nothing help.

'Yes mom coming' I complied more than happy. I was hurriedly making my way towards the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

Sighing I turned back towards the main door.

The bell rang again.

Why are people so impatient???

'Coming' I muttered.

I opened the door.

And got another'.surprise.

Sameera di stood outside.

'GEEETTT''she squeaked into my ear as she took me in a big bear hug.

I attempted to smile as I hugged her back.

***************

part 6

OKAY FINALLY UPDATED!!!

my work done...

now your turn...to click the ike button and leave me comments😆

p.s haven't edited it so there might be some mistakes...IGNORE THEM😛