One Last Hope (SeHa/VarNi/MishTi ff) - Page 2

Rohan

No matter how many times I try to ignore her, fate always gets the better of me. Always has, always will. Asha and I, working on the same stupid project, things couldn't get any better. Power of the subconscious mind, the thought slipped in my head. My friend, Mac's dad always said that your mind can actually control more than just your actions. He had read a whole book about it and in a lot of scenarios he had used this phrase, more often than one would think. Unfortunately, it's not always what you want though.

I thought about Asha; definitely not what I wanted. I hate personalities like her, always blabbering about nonsense, listening to every juicy bit of gossip and full of annoying attitude. She was rich; everyone knew about it and talked about her new possessions all the time.

But recently, I had felt her strange shyness around me. Also, she wasn't interacting with me as much as she usually did. Instead she seemed to be a bit lost in her own thoughts. After yesterday's lesson and our awkward eye locks, we couldn't say much to each other. I waited for her to start speaking as I thought she would instantly but she took a while.

'So isn't it great that we are together in this project!' She smiled sarcastically.

'Let's just get down to do it' I muttered taking out a big, dusty book closing all doors for any type of casual conversation. Then I realised how messed up that sentence sounded. Asha was sure to pick up on that.

'Down to do it? Oh duffer thoda soch ke bola karo, tumhaari AYM rep ke liye achha nahi hoga'

Just as I expected, more sarcasm and more laughter. I was about to turned back to retaliate and give her more reasons to hate me but I didn't. Maybe I didn't want her to hate me. The thought disturbed me because I knew it was true. I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

I searched through some books but I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't let this girl come in my way. I had to do something about this. I put the damn book down and walked out on that damn girl.

'Oh dufford kaha ja rahe ho?' She broke in to the quietness.

Her voice was the most annoying thing ever. It interrupted the perfect silence like a cricket ball smashing a glass window. I didn't know the answer to her question myself, but that didn't annoy me. It was her curiosity that maddened me. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to go to hell and leave me alone.

Of course, inconveniently enough, with everyone watching, I couldn't do that. It was a library and everyone, unlike the two of us, had been working on their projects in a fairly silent atmosphere. So I just ignored her and walked on as always, expecting another comment.

I saw several heads bend back down to the textbooks and was relieved that everyone wasn't watching our little scene attentively anymore. I waited for another sound of her voice which would attract more attention again and pairs of eyes would fix on our highly interesting act.

But surprisingly, the sound didn't come. I slowly turned my body around to peek at what exactly was evidently more interesting than arguing with me.

She had the right textbook, the one I couldn't find myself and she was making notes, neatly with clear subheadings. It was a very astonishing sight, so unbelievable that I just stood there gawking at her.

I thought she was going to shout at me but instead she rose up from the chair and came near me, smiling shyly. For some reason I went a bit dreamy and thought she was going to say something completely crazy like 'I really like you' or something nice.

Clearly, the textbook and the notes in HER hand were far too much for me to handle.

'Arre Dufford ab tum yahan mujhe aise hi dekhte rahoge' she muffled continuing the shy expressions, 'ya kuch madad bhi karoge?' she whispered, now, in a completely disgusted tone. That was enough to shake me up from my stupid, dreamy world. It was like I was listening to romantic music and suddenly with a weird jolt it went straight to rap or heavy metal.

After thankfully returning to my good senses, I mumbled something about helping her and read her notes to see if they were of any use. I was startled by the accuracy and crisp detail of her work. I think I finally understood the saying 'Don't judge a book by its cover'.

She doesn't seem clever, intelligent, hardworking or even focused. But she does have some brains in there because the book was very useful and in no time she had a bunch of relevant and handy notes.

After completely dumbfounding me she told me to make more notes and went straight to one of the computers to get information from the internet. I realised that she had understood the importance of this project because unlike the other little tasks, it was a big one and we didn't have much time to waste on useless bickering.

I could finally concentrate, I had to; she couldn't prove to be a better student than me. No way! Not only did I need to do extremely well in my studies, I needed to think of a foolproof plan to bring down Dr. Sharma, a new biology teacher, since he quit medicine due to his failure in it. Unfortunately he wasn't my biology teacher, I had Meera ma'am

My family was torn apart thanks to him. The personality I am now, AYM, as Asha likes to call me, is all because of that bas***d.

I reread my notes hoping that I still managed some good ones although I was still thinking of ways to destroy his life. They were alright; I could have done more though if I put my 100% in the job. So I tried again to calm myself and write some useful facts down.

The lesson was a long one, giving us plenty of time to get a good head-start on the work we were set. After filling numerous pages of writing, I presented it to Naina and said that we would need to discuss who is doing what at home because we didn't have much time left. And since she had decided to actually work, I thought I had more of a chance of talking to her without Asha biting my head off.

'Umm...Mr. AYM, joh internet se mujhe information mili hai, voh iss book seh kuch kuch baaton par clash kar rahi hai. Toh main kuch aur sources koh check karoongi, iss information koh clear karne ke liye' she pointed at an extract of the text on the internet, 'Aur tum yeh information koh check karlena. Humme kaafi acchi headstart mili hai iss project mein.'

'Haan humme kaafi achhi headstart milli hai, thanks to you,' I paused trying to think why the hell I said such a ridiculous thing, although it was actually quite true. I didn't want to give her enough time for her to flatter herself so added hastily, 'for not being Miss. Carefree and Miss. Attitude. Varna toh hum itna kaam kabhi nahi kar paate.'

'Dekho dafford, mujhe tumse ladne mein utna interest nahi hai jitna tumhe mujhse ladne mein hai, humare paas thoda sa time bacha hai toh hum internet pe aur research kar sakte hai, aur tum bhi books nikal kar kuch kaam kar sakte ho unless you want to swap roles.'

She looked at me questioningly but I was happy reading through the textbook, I knew which pages I needed to have another look at so I shook my head; no. I was about to say something but she continued talking, this time it was unnecessary.

'And this just shows ki tum apne aap koh control nahi kar paate, agar itna hi shauk hai padhne ke liye toh apni yeh AYM dialogues bolne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. God, yeh library mein koi khidkiyan bhi nahi hai, itni garmi aur koi natural light bhi nahi aati,' she sighed, fanning herself.

'Sunlight se aur garmi lagti' I said, stating the obvious. She just rolled her eyes like always.

I was going to get back to work because I knew that I couldn't counter her argument against me and even if I managed to, it would just give her more reasons to suggest that I can't keep myself in control.

But suddenly the electricity went, just on the 2^nd floor because apparently there was some weird malfunction. And thanks to no natural light as Asha was saying, the whole room was completely dark.

I heard Asha gasp for air and felt her grasp my wrist immediately. Oh, what a stereotype I thought. But that didn't make sense, she never got scared when I pin her to the walls and threaten her. She was definitely not that kind of girl.

It felt weird. It was an unfamiliar feeling that I had for her, it was not like any other feeling or emotion I've had for anyone. It was a bit like that feeling of when you fall in your dreams, or on a rollercoaster. When your heart leaps dangerously, not knowing where it's going to land.

And I was even more worried and curious about Asha and why she was behaving in such a way. I couldn't really tell what had come over her; it was like the blanket of darkness had covered her mind too.

I vaguely registered in my mind that Shukla Sir telling was everyone to remain in their seats or wherever they were, and not to move until told to do so. My mind was busy figuring out this feeling I had for her.

'She is the reason you're going to fall Rohan' I concluded in that instant. I shook myself mentally as my eyes slowly got comfortable with the darkness that surrounded us. I looked at Asha and saw that her eyes were squeezed shut. She slowly opened them and let go of my hand, taking deep breaths. I couldn't quite read her expression because her hair was covering one eye.

I don't exactly know what came over me then, but I felt my body bending down towards her and my hand moving towards her face, longing for the touch of her silky black hair. It was too late for me to stop myself when I realised what I was doing, so I brushed her soft hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear.

Her eyes were big, round and scared at first but when my hand touched her face, she looked up at me with a stunned expression. I had to look away but I couldn't, Asha always broke our eye locks, I could never do that myself because it seemed like she had some kind of magic over me. Someone coughed into the silence so I was able to, for the first time look away.

She was a bit taken aback by what had just happened and I couldn't blame her, I hadn't known myself of what I was doing. Instead of questioning me, she tried to justify her own actions first. She started speaking quietly.

'Actually jab bhi andhera hota hai mujhe bahut dar lagta hai kyonki maine kaafi rishtedaaron ko issi andhere mein khoya. Mere nana ki death ho gayi jab bijali gayi thi aur aisa andhera hua ek storm ki vajah se. Lightning strikes bhi hui aur ek hamare ghar par giri. Meri peeth jal gayi thi. Meri nani ko andhere mein hi heart attack aya, unhe already problems thi lekin andhere mein yeh haadsa hua. Dada koh electric shock lag gaya jab voh inverter koh dekhne gaye aur poora garage jal gaya. Dadi....' she fell silent, she couldn't take it anymore, although she had paused a lot while saying it all. It was already hard to talk about these things no matter how long ago they were, and something told me that her Dadi's death was the most recent one.

Her eyes were filled with sadness and unshed tears when she opened them again. I had already accepted that I wasn't in control of my own actions but I didn't really regret what I did next. I slowly put my hand on her shoulder and took her hand in mine; ignoring the overwhelming feelings it was causing me inside.

'Dekho Asha, kuch nahi hoga tumhe, main hoon yahan pe, isse aur buri cheez aur kya ho sakti hai?' I said softly in an amused tone.

'Isse bura aur bahut kuch ho sakta hai, 5 deaths toh maine tumhe batayi bhi nahi' she whispered, dead seriously, 'Main kuch nahi kar paayi thi Rohan, kuch bhi nahi.'

Her breathing got faster and she move even closer to me. She squeezed her eyes shut and I could tell that she was having disturbing flashbacks and was having a hard time not screaming. I couldn't blame her; I have had similar experiences every night until a few months ago.

I could feel her heart pounding close to my own chest and as she tucked her head down on my collar, my heartbeat quickened at an alarming rate. I thought my eardrums would burst very soon.

Asha was in my arms and it was definitely feeling amazing. Only my body started to get a bit tense. I had never had a similar experience and a girl hadn't come so close to me in many years.

I could feel her uneven shivers that went down her spine. They disturbed me a lot, so much that I was now thinking of possible ways to comfort her. Did I care for her? I swallowed hard as my face went really hot and it felt like my skin was burning. I didn't even know her properly, not yet. I think. I sighed. It's just because I can understand these feelings. I have had them before. This thought made much more sense and I readily accepted it while slowly taking in the enchanting smell of her shampooed hair and light perfume. Does that mean I do care for her? I just decided to dismiss that thought; I wasn't ready for it yet.

I was a bit lost in her when she slowly lifted herself up from my body but our hands were still clasped together. I was a bit surprised at this sudden shift but at least my feelings were at bay. She was still frightened but I knew she preferred to do things by herself. So I let her get hold of herself while she still had some support from my side.

The lights finally came back, just as the bell rang. I peeked at Asha who gave a huge sigh of relief. As if I hadn't done any abnormal things already, I smiled warmly at her. And to add to the 'abnormalness', I got the same response back.

I looked down at our joined hands and felt slightly nervous. I was debating on how to take my hand away from hers when she dropped her textbook. It seemed like did it on purpose so she would be able to take her hand away without having to go through an awkward scene. That was a relief. I turned away as she bent down to pick the textbook up. Feeling a bit mystified and lost, I walked out of the library, looking over my shoulder and quickly catching a glimpse of her before marching straight to the canteen, pondering over today's unimaginable happenings.