SS:Matters of the Heart(updated pg 27)#19/2 - Page 17

I got into the car and started driving but this time my one hand was resting on her growing belly. She might not have put on weight but I knew that there was someone who liked my touch and I knew it was a comfort for her too.

We reached a restuarant in half an hour. She was silent along the way. I didn't know what she was thinking but in her eyes I could see she was thinking about the past, about her fake marriage about her family. I wanted to ask her if she missed her family but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to.

I got down and opened the door for her. She opened her eyes as if she didn't understand what was happening. I told her we had reached the restaurant and she stepped out smiling.

I knew she was tensed and she was thinking something but I didn't know if I still had the right to ask her or had I lost that too in the last few weeks. I held her hand and we walked in. The waiter knew me and he took us to a corner. We sat down and I ordered the gol gappe that she wanted and a coffe for myself.

She didn't even notice where we were but still sat there dazed. After the waiter had left I waited for her to speak but a few minutes into the silence and it was killing me. I finally decided to ask her what was troubling her.

I called out to her,"Geet.."

She looked at me and smiled.

And then she turned again staring into the oblivion. I had to feign up something to get her attention to me. I saw a knife on the table. I knew a small cut wouldn't hurt much but atleast she would talk to me.

I slit my finger a bit with it and kept it back on the table and kept my hand near it.

"Ouch," I shrieked . She looked at me and then at my hand.

"Maan, yeh kya hua..aapka dhyaan kahan hai,"

And she took the napkin on the table to wipe the wound gently blowing it.

"Geet yehi sawaal agar main tumse poochon toh,"

Ji..she looked at me confused.

Main kitni der se tumhe dekh raha hoon tum kisi aur duniya mein khoyi hui ho…sab theek toh hai na..

She averted her gaze and nodded. I held her chin and made her face me. She looked into my eyes and then looked down and tears rolled down her eyes.

"Geet," I held her and wrapped her in my arms. I saw people looking at me.

"Yahaan se chale," I whispered to her. She nodded against my chest and I walked out of the hotel with her, leaving some money on the counter for the thing I had ordered. She didn't leave me nor did the tears stop flowing out of her eyes.

I opened the door of the car for her and she gently slid her in. I sat down beside her and drove back home. I knew she wouldn't speak anything till we were alone in a place.

We reached home in about half an hour. She had stopped crying but she was still lost. I stopped the car and even then she didn't get down.

I got down and opened the door and picked her up in my arms. She didn't protest but gently slid her hands around my neck resting her face on my chest.

I saw dadi ma on my way but I told her to stay back with my eye. She nodded and left us two. I carried her to her room and laid her on the bed gently. I got up and walked away but she held my gently.

"Aap,"

"main yahin hoon Geet, tumahre liye kuch khane ke le aaon, phir baatein karenge."

She shook her head. I sat down beside her and held her hand in mine.

"Geet pls..tumne pichle kai ghanto se kuch nahi khaya hai, tumahri sehat ke liye theek nahi hai,"

"Pls.."

Accha ek min.

She let off my hand and I got out of the room only to find dadi ma sitting in the hall. I couldn't explain much to her but I just told her that Geet was fine but as the doctor had said she had t be given something to eat at regular intervals. Dadi ma assured me of that and I walked back to her only to find her standing near the window.

I walked up at her and stood beside her. Without a word she snuggled next to me resting her head on my chest and her hand encircling my waist. I held her close to me and waited for a few minutes for her to speak. When she didn't I did,

"Geet mujhe tum par koi haq hai ya nahi,"

"Ji,"she looked shocked at my statement.

Geet tumhe kaun si baat sata rahi hai tum bata ti kyun nahi..

She sighed and left my waist and stood straight.

I looked at her. She walked back to the room and near her cupboard. She took out a small bag and then a red color duppata from it. I didn't know what that was but I knew it tied her to her family some way.

She came back next to me and stood there gazing at the setting sun.

The sun which was casting its orange and yellow hue upon the world. It made the world brighter before bidding it good bye.

Maan aapko mere se kabhi koi shikayat nahi thi???

Kya matlab Geet.

Mere past ke baare mein janana ke baad..

Geet gila toh tumse bahut the..par tumhare past ko lekar nahi is baat se ki tumne kabhi mujhe is layak nahi samjha ki mujhe apna dard bata sako..

Maan..

Sach mein Geet, main naraaz isliye tha ki tumne ek pal mein mujhe itna paraya kar diya tha ki tum itne maheene apna dard mjhe bataya nahi..

Jaante hain maan kyun nahi bataya..

I shook my head.

She brought the dupatta in front of me..

Pata hai yeh kya hai..i shook my head.

Yeh who duppata hai jo shaadi ke waqt maa ne mujhe udaya tha..jaante hai maan maine apni zindagi mein shayad he kisi par itna bharosa kiya tha jitna apne pati par kiya tha aur is liye maine khud ko unhe saup diya..aur usne ek raat mein meri zindagi barbaad kar di..

Par..

Jaante hai who shaadi shuda hai..aur uski biwi ne mujse kaha tha ki main..she kept a hand on her stomach. I knew what she meant.

Aur phir aap aaye..apko sacchayi toh kai baar batani chahi..par dar lagta tha ki aap na samjhe aur mujhe chod kar chale gaye toh..

Geet main..

Jaanti hoon..par is nanhi jaan ko spane nahi dikhana chahti thi.. I knew she was talking about herself.

I enveloped her in my arms. She started crying and I let her.

Jaanti ho Geet, tum jaise ho waise hi bahut acchi ho aur is jaan ko har sapna dikhao main waada karta hoon ki main har sapna poora karunga..

She held on to me tighter.

"Ek baat poocho.."

She nodded her head..

Kya tumhe apne ghar waalon ke yaad aa rahi hai..

She shook her head in negative.

Toh phir tum

Main sirf soch rahi thi..ki agar meri kismet mein aapka saath nahi likha hota toh main kaise jeeti..meri zindagi mein toh koi bhi nahi hai na..ghar waalon ko toh main bahut pehle chod chuki thi..parivaar toh..

Tum paagal ho geet..

She smiled thru her tears and hit me..

Ouch lagti hai geet.

Geet..

Hmm..

Dubara mat kehna tum akele ho..is duniya mein tum akele nahi ho..jab tak is sharer mein saasein hai tab tak main tumahare saath hoon..aur yeh parivaar jitna mera hai utna tumahar bhi..aur yeh ghar humra hai Geet yaad rakhna..

She got out of the hug and looked at me thru her tears and mumbled a thanku and hid herself in my chest again…